i've moved !

He is particularly flexible, with the body of an acrobat or dancer; lean muscle, small physique, built for quick and precise movements. He is small but packed with power.

Kaey has premature grey hair, starting in his late 20s. By his mid-40s he has a full head of salt and pepper hair.

He is a quiet, withdrawn person. He speaks with a gentle authority, with solemn grey eyes. His smiles are small and faint, but they are warm, and they light up his eyes like fireworks. Kaey is a gentle, calm person and there is nothing in him or about him that you could say was aggressive, hateful, or bitter.

He is a tired, restless person. He struggles to relax, and has a tendency to sleep in bizarre places because he simply finds no comfort in a bed. Kaey is a studious person, with a heart that yearns for knowledge, for escape, and his dedications to plants and animals often leave him dozing at his desk because he can't be distracted with sleep. For a quiet person his mind is a constantly burning fire that drives him; he thrives on escaping what he doesn't want to think about or remember. Sleep is infrequent and fitful, and he's restless, almost paranoid, but has learned how to disguise his hypervigilance.

There is blood on his hands. He sees it every day, he can smell it. It burns him, it stains him, and he hates it. He compulsively washes his hands, and has thus developed an almost OCD fixation with cleanliness and organization.

For a long time there was no luxury in his life. Now that he is older and better off he simply revels in the small luxuries he is afforded, like taking long baths and keeping his hair nice, eating good food and wearing good, sturdy clothing that actually fits him. And chocolate, he simply adores chocolate! But make no mistake, Kaey is not a vain or greedy person, he lives by simple means and makes no show of his financial status. He simply ensures he can enjoy what he has.

[TRIGGER WARNING] Kaey has been abused. Sexually, physically, mentally, and emotionally. He has been manipulated, indoctrinated, and tortured. He has been used, left for dead, and treated as a slave. He has been given the ultimatum of taking a life to save his own multiple times, and every time he has taken that life. He is not proud of it. He is covered in scars and filled with memories and he resents that part of himself, that part of his history. But he overcame, and because of that he knows how to survive. He will do what it takes to survive. He has suffered greatly, pushed to the brink and even over it. He has been on his knees so many times, yet every time he has gotten up again, because that is what he does. He always gets back up again, because that is what Kaey is. But, more than that, one must understand that despite it all, Kaey is a genuinely compassionate, gentle person who wants to be good, who wants to do his best, who wants to help others. He is haunted down to his very bones, and he flinches when he is touched, but he still believes in love, and he still believes in trust, and he wants to be touched.

He is very particular about his personal space. Do not touch him if he can't see you or doesn't know you are there. Make your movements obvious and clear, and state your intentions if he reacts negatively. Do not touch his hair or face without invitation. He can, has, and will react negatively because that is his instinct. He doesn't like being touched unless he has consented to it.

Kaey is touch starved, undeniably. He craves human companionship and will devote himself to anyone who earns his trust. He thinks he is unlovable, he thinks he is incapable of receiving or understanding it. He has had it ingrained in him that love is weakness, that it is manipulation and manipulating. It has been used as a weapon against him; he was abused for years and made to think that was what love was. He thinks he is broken and undesirable, and that even if someone can look beyond that they will find him lacking and be rid of him because he cannot give them what they want or need in a relationship. Kaey is not a sexual person, he is not a romantic person; he shows his care in unconventional ways, ways that are unique to him because that is what he thinks love should look like. But he is trusting, and he wants so badly to be something that someone else can genuinely love. And when he has that genuine love, then it doesn't matter. If he feels safe with you then he can let his guard down, and if he can let his guard down then he will give you his heart, and he will do anything and everything for you.

Kaey often forces himself into situations he is uncomfortable in because he believes he has to. He wants to be "normal". He wants to conform, and he will go beyond his own security to do it. He is the kind of person that unintentionally "buys" affection by doing things for people because he thinks that will make them happy, and thus convince them to remain with him. This can be seen mostly when he tries to fulfill his need for companionship, often tossing aside his own discomfort and fears to provide sexual, romantic, and emotional stimulus for his partner.

Kaey is a self-taught apothecary of sorts. He knows plants, he knows their uses, and he can efficiently utilize them in medicine, cooking, and other ways. He has his own garden, and makes his own remedies, as well as, shockingly, poisons. He has built an immunity up to quite a few toxins in his career, and has infamously used several of them to kill his targets; a favorite ploy of his is wearing poisons or toxins, and interacting with his targets in such a way as to poison them when they touch him.

[TRIGGER WARNING] Kaey has ripped out the throat of a living man with his teeth. c: When he was younger he had been repeatedly raped by another man, until, eventually, Kaey snapped and struck out at him, and after successfully wrestling his attacker off of him, ripped out his throat. Not his proudest moment, but he would do it again if he had to.

Kaey's twin sister, Illenar, was estranged from him at a young age and he has since not been in contact with her. All his attempts to locate her have been futile, and he has since given up. She is his only living family, but he has reason to believe that she may be dead.

He has both experience as an equestrian and falconer, and would love to pursue continued training in both.

He is a decent cook. Not great, but not terrible. He likes cooking organically, with fresh ingredients. His recipes are usually western and midwestern in origin, with the odd exotic dish every now and then.

Kaey was born and raised Navajo, however after he left home when he was young he never returned and never looked back on his heritage. The only thing that connects him to that part of his life is a turquoise amulet he received from his mother before her death. It is his one and sole treasure. When asked he may hint at his origins, and he is certainly a proud Navajo, yet he disconnected from that side of him and has never found a way to reconnect with it.

You know, just getting a headstart on my new years resolution to be more assertive & take no bs from people online anymore. To do things for myself, not because I feel I have to do them. &, of course, to run my blogs the way I want to run them.