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[Name]: I'm not telling you anything! And I'll never betray my friends!

Kidnapper: We have ways to make you talk...

*Kidnapper pulls out a knife*

Kidnapper: We need you to tell us everything you know about Zeus or else-

[Name]: Wait, Zeus as in bald-guy-formed-like-a-wrung-sock-Zeus?

Kidnapper nodding: Yes, and if you don't talk we will-

*[Name] wheezes*

[Name]: Why didn't you just say so from the start? I said I wouldn't tell you anything about my friends, but that walking skeleton is far from a friend of mine.

*[Name] pats the place beside them while the kidnapper watches on with his jaw on the floor*

[Name]: Take a seat and grab some cake because we are gonna be here for a while.

*Half an hour later*

[Name] with their mouth full of third cake: And THEN that son of a bitch Zeus said that I was too much. Like?? The only thing that is too much is the number of years he has lived. Ring, ring. Who is that? The Underworld is calling and wants their damn corpse after all these long years.

The kidnapper covering his ears: Someone. Please. Please. Make them shut up.

*The kidnapper slams the door open*

Kidnapper: Here. You are free to go. Just LEAVE.

*Hours later*

Zeus: [Name]?! How did they learn about my foot fetish??

[Name]: You have no idea what kind of torture I was forced to undergo.