PLEASE TELL US MORE ABOUT YOURSELF.

“More about myself, huh?” She quips, supporting her chin in one of her two hands. “I can spin my hands 360 degrees. Wanna see?” An eyebrow quirks as she focuses her gaze on the person before her and doesn’t try to say anything else on the matter of her weird skill, allowing the subject to vanish when the other clears their throat. She shouldn’t have been sitting in this room again in the first place. She remembers too much, even now.

“The story goes like this— Mother was high up in the hierarchy of Boseong’s youth. Beautiful, intelligent, the kind of girl who could have any man she set her sights on but she threw it all away to become a poor man’s wife. Her exact words.” The words flow like a slow drawl. Half-clung to a distracted half-smile, eyes trailing the edge of the table. Past memories knock on her door, and she lets them through. “Enter Romeo. My father, who comes from rags, a farmer that struggles to make ends meet. Father said he used to makes extra money by singing on street corners and busking around with his homegrown magic tricks, which he never shared the secrets to.”

Finally, she settles her gaze. Peers at the other through the overcast glow of the lights up above. Too yellow, too bright. She blinks through the spots in her vision.

“They’re not supposed to meet, you know? Should’ve never crossed paths to begin with, but in true Romeo and Juliet form: they do anyway. They promised to run away together - into the horizon, over the mountains and beyond. So it’s funny then, that I was born here, in the quiet, sheltered middle of nowhere.”

She hates it. Loathes anything that feels forced, and all of these interrogation sessions are the very epitome of it. But she must give them something. Give them the answers they want.

“They had me, and for a while everything was right.” A pause. “But one day, just like father’s magic coin tricks, mother vanished.” For a second her face holds the same look of hurt it held many years ago.

———

It is mid November and the sky was greying. She didn’t say much from behind the window as she watched droplets of rain hit the glass with a ‘tap’ and by now she knew better than to light all the dark rooms in the house. And she could feel it, the tide of the past July. It’s like this one morning she looked across the dinner table and everything that has ever been left unspoken was being said. No one ever had to tell her anything, she always managed to catch snippets of what was happening around her, observation had been but a hobby to her for as long as she could remember and the sight of her father crying was something unfamiliar to her, something she would notice right away. Serin could see it, the way her father spoke in dim lit words, the way her mother’s name escaped her father’s. How often do we wear smiles that hurt, smiles that tell us we have endured too long? Serin feels heavy and the worst thing is, she knows the weather of departure; the humid air, the rain pouring announcing that winter is near.

———

Her flashback montage is interrupted by the soft squeak of a chair, and really, she doesn’t know what else to say.

“Uhm. What more do you wish to know?” She muses out loud, keeping her voice barely audible. She can’t let just anyone hear her sad story after all. “Right, more abo—”she mutters, but leaves her sentence unfinished.

“I’m that one girl no one writes songs about.”

Serin’s like a messy book, filled with half read sentences, marked up paragraphs, folded corners and empty pages. Half a hopeless romantic and half a skeptic. She doesn’t let people in, only a few have trickled deep within the small gaps between the pages, and somehow the book opens and she gives them a chapter. She feels with a terrible intensity. Too many vowels in her mouth, too many crumpled pages in her pockets. Her mouth twisted into rivers, pouring into too many oceans at once. At times, she says quite a lot and nothing at all. She always takes too little and gives too much. Reaches for anything, finding joy in the most rare of places. Comes and goes, disappears like mist rising in the sky. Maybe she is a liminal space. An in-between. A gas station on a longer journey. blurry, dreamlike. A threshold. An exhilarating parenthesis. She is simply someone searching for - a phrase, a light, a fire. The signs along the way.

SO WHAT DO YOU THINK OF BOSEONG?

She’s born in Boseong. It’s obvious in the kind of gaze she enforces. Like dead foliage, a wet morning, the dewy rise of dawn circling the dark pits of her eyes. The idea of the town swells in its bitter taste through the bite of her growing molars; the pith of intelligence blossoming with the ravenous flavor.

“It’s the place I’ve lived all my life. My home.” It feels unnatural to call it that, but it is what it is.

HAVE YOU EVER LEFT OR THOUGHT ABOUT LEAVING BOSEONG?

“Leaving?,” she trails off, gaze drifting away from the other in faux contemplation.

“The thought has crossed my mind a couple of times.”

But, it is sorta intoxicating. Living here, being here, existing among all the rumors and secrets that define it into the town of a thriller setting and sad sound. It’s like she’s born glued to Boseong. Ripped out of the reasoning to leave. Boseong is a void shadow lingering in the background of the world as it parades forward.

WERE YOU CLOSE WITH HA EUNMI? WHAT WAS YOUR IMPRESSION OF HER?

“Shouldn’t you know the answer to this? Is it not scribbled down on the reports?” She certainly doesn’t like it when others ask questions they know the answer to. She doesn’t even bother to look at the other, painted fingernails drumming softly on the rim of the table.

“It is well known we were best friends.” Closing her eyes for a brief moment, she tries to pull a soul-stirring recollection off a dusty shelf stacked with her memories, reminiscing about the day she first met Eunmi, and how lonely she felt, and how much warmth Eunmi brought into her dreadfully cold and empty life.

“She was nice, everyone loved her. She had a way of making you feel—special. Being her friend meant you were liked as well.”

It was hard tho, being Eunmi’s friend wasn’t always easy. Maintaining friendships, having close acquaintances, it all requires a certain amount of effort and sacrifice, something that perhaps not everyone wishes to give away so effortlessly. People grow and outgrow you. People change and most often, people forget about you.

DO YOU HAVE A DARK SECRET THAT NO ONE KNOWS OF?

PLEASE TELL US MORE ABOUT YOURSELF.

you don’t even look like you’re listening.  you seem bored.  i watch as the pen glides easily over the paper in the notepad that he’s writing in, and the smile that hangs just faintly on my lips feels awkward.  does it look awkward, too? probably. why do i have to do all this again? why do i have to tell someone all about me when they don’t even look like they care?  they didn’t care about eunmi.  they didn’t care at all.

even people that say they care, they don’t.  i feel like i’m screaming to the void.  no wonder i feel so tired all the time. 

“ sure!” the response is a lot brighter than i feel.  cover up the horror with the bright of magic, the flutter of a fairy’s wing  -  that’s what people are really looking for anyway.  the question is, should i start with the rising of a ghost from her grave? or would that be too much? “ you know i have a big family, right? lots of siblings.”  and all of them don’t listen to me, either.  they all have their own worries.

i tell myself that it’s okay.  “ i’d like to think that we’re close.  some of them moved away from boseong though, but who can blame them, right?” i laugh a little, but i don’t feel it.  “ i guess maybe there’s not a lot about me to tell.  maybe the most interesting thing about me really is all my older siblings.  i love them very much.”  looking at him, he doesn’t look amused.  it’s like he’s telling me this isn’t about my family, it’s about me.  me  -  strange, lonely, wallflower me.

“ well, i don’t think i’m interesting aside from that.  all i do is stay in the house really … it’s hard to get out when you’re the one and only employee trying to fill a hundred orders for a business that you run.”  laughing, hollow.  but at least it seems to satisfy.  “ what, does that surprise you about me?  i guess i can understand why.”

SO WHAT DO YOU THINK OF BOSEONG?

“ it’s …” there’s no sense of pride for boseong.  i lost all that a long time ago.  it doesn’t feel like home, but i just can’t leave it, either.

more often than not, it feels like a living monster tree, tying my ankles to the ground.  unwilling to let me go, rooting me the spot so i suffer.  what it doesn’t realize is that i want to be able to grow, too.  “ uncomfortable.  but it’s okay.”  

but i just can’t leave.

HAVE YOU EVER LEFT OR THOUGHT ABOUT LEAVING BOSEONG?

“ you know, i told eunmi once that i felt wrong.  like i was one of those fairy children that you heard about in stories, changelings that were switched out for a real human baby.  i thought peter pan was going to come to my window before i got too old.  i always thought i wasn’t right, so i guess that’s why i always thought about leaving or being taken, too.”  biting my lip, i shift uncomfortably in my seat.  he still seems like he’s just taking notes, as if the things i’m saying will be burned in the incinerator after this.  maybe they will be.  everything is always covered up with dirt here.  “ but it doesn’t feel right to leave.  not right now.”  it hasn’t felt right for the past five years; not with eunmi buried six feet under.

WERE YOU CLOSE WITH HA EUNMI? WHAT WAS YOUR IMPRESSION OF HER?

she’s a terror.    she’s a beauty.    she’s a terror.   i loved her a lot.   she was pretty.   i was happy. she hurt me.  she was cruel.  i was always sad.

“ eunmi … was complicated.” how do i talk about eunmi? how do i explain? there were so many things in all the years that i knew her and it looks like you’re running out of paper, sir.  you don’t care about this one bit.  this will be buried like the rest.  “ i knew her since we were young, but i guess i was always .. a little different.  eunmi got along better with our other friends, and i always thought that was okay.  until it wasn’t anymore.”  do i tell him i loved her? do i tell him that i told her that?

do i tell him the way that she looked at me and froze? i couldn’t bear to be with her after that.  things slipped through my fingers after that  -  all of this is irrelevant. i’m irrelevant.  like she said, i’m just the weirdo with a death fetish.  i live in a fantasy.  yes, eunmi is as cruel as much as she’s the sun.  even now when she appears to me during late nights with her bent neck, sometimes i still think she’s pretty even if i can only scream.

no, i don’t tell him any of this.  why should i?  “ eunmi and i were friends for a long time.” i say, smiling.  i can remember eunmi fondly; i still remember her fondly.  i used to tell her stories at night because she couldn’t sleep.  when we had sleepovers, she’d play with my hair.  i loved her.  i can think of her fondly.  “ we just grew apart in high school.  it happens to the best of us.”  i bite my lip.  “ i’m sure you’re wondering why i ended up taking the arch enemy’s side, though  -  if we were friends, that is.”

“ it’s because even if we were friends, i know what’s right.  being on her side when she’s wrong doesn’t make me a loyal friend.  it makes me a bad one.”  i smile again.  “ even if we weren’t talking much at the time.”

DO YOU HAVE A DARK SECRET THAT NO ONE KNOWS OF?

PLEASE TELL US MORE ABOUT YOURSELF.

his dislike of being at the centre of attention is palpable, he shifts on his sit, his eyes avoiding the faces staring at him. “I’ve been born here 24 years ago. Ma was a nurse, dad a doctor. They’re both retired now. I was supposed to join the MD club but in the end didn’t.” There is a lopsided smile on his face. Not entirely the truth but there is no reason to mention his EMT certificate that gathers dust at the bottom of the drawer since he is not going to use it anyway. He clears his throat. “I am your friendly neighbourhood uber driver, at your service.” He steals a glance at the indifferent faces. They seem to still wait for something more and the silence grates on his nerves. He feels the need to fill the silence but grits his teeth swallowing the words.

“Anything else to add?” He has an urge to reply “No” but he shrugs instead. 

“Well, I am a pretty boring dude. Lived here all my childhood. Finished high school here - I guess I did pretty good. Left to fuck around with college. Learnt a bit, worked a bit. Failed one too many classes. Came back here.” Which is essentially true-ish. He did finish an EMT course. Even worked as one for a time. And studied. On track to become another Han Jaemin M.D. as his parents (and by parents, he means the father dearest) hoped. It took him far too long, in his opinion, to realize that the vision of himself dabbling for a foreseeable future in human misery, pain, sickness, and more often than he wished guts, brought him nothing but a cold dread and a low key panic that grew to the point it felt as if he was suffocating. All of it exacerbated by a high-stress work environment of a first responder. He reached his breaking point on a site of a bus crash. People were strewn on the black asphalt like broken dolls and in the split second, he had to make a choice whom to help first, knowing that he has just sentenced someone else to die. The enormity of it broke him.

He left his job and dropped out of college the same day, packed up and headed home. After a week father presented him during a terse dinner conversation with an ultimatum - Jaemin will either get back to college or get out. He (father dearest that is) won’t be supporting a failure (Jaemin that is). He remembers his mother’s tears and his father’s calm fury and his own anger filling him with something cold and ugly. But all he could say was a terse “Fine” as he got up. “I’ll get out then.” Jaemin had not spoken to his father since. Ma calls him sometimes when the old man is not around. The driving gig he is doing now was an impulse decision. Jaemin needed a job. And he likes to drive and at the time he had no idea what else he could do. Would like to do. Wished to do - over a year has passed already and he still has no idea. He never had time to figure it out, his path set out before him since he was born. It seems, for now, his aimless existence is exactly what he needs.

SO WHAT DO YOU THINK OF BOSEONG?

A sigh of relief escapes his mouth. He hates personal questions. This one is easy. He smiles and gestures around him “Well, a quaint little town, isn’t it? Everybody knows everybody. What you eat, who you fuck, what skeletons you are hiding in your closet. But it is a safe place ‘to raise a family’ as they say. Foreseeably boring. Boring is good, wouldn’t you agree? It’s surprising that is overrated. People moan about how nothing happens here "ever” but try to change anything and you are a public enemy number one.

HAVE YOU EVER LEFT OR THOUGHT ABOUT LEAVING BOSEONG?

Well yeah, I left for college. Came back, did I not? I guess this town kinda grows on you. I don’t know. I guess it is one of those love-hate relationships with this goddamn place, for me. But in the end, it is… home.“ His worst and best memories are here. When he came back to Boseong - a fresh college drop out - it did appear smaller than he remembered, but at the same time, it fit him just fine. A familiar hell he could deal with. Even if for the townsfolk he would always be that weird offspring of a good doctor (what a joke), or even the suspect in Ha Eunmi death. He is used to the looks and whispers. But there are nights when he just drives his Subaru to the town limits and wonders if he should just keep driving on. Leave it all behind, no goodbyes, no bullshit - just drive. And maybe one day he will. This day hadn’t come just yet.

WERE YOU CLOSE WITH HA EUNMI? WHAT WAS YOUR IMPRESSION OF HER?

He snorts. "Oh come on! Are you trying to be coy? I am pretty sure you know the whole story, it is all in those police files. We weren’t exactly friends, as you are aware. She tried to mess with my family, my dad had supposedly an affair with her mum… Silly teenager poking her nose into adults business. I was stupid enough to lose control. It was a misunderstanding growing out of proportion. You know how it is when you’re 16. It all seems so stupid now.” He shrugs. Eunmi… he hasn’t thought of her in ages. The overly bright girl with a goddamned dark shadow big enough to swallow him. She was… something else. Not in a good way. Admittedly, his high school days were fucking awful because of her - but in the end, he survived. She didn’t. “She was… complicated I guess? More complicated then a lot of people gave her credit for… I am not able to tell you more. I did not know her all that well after all. It is easy to be enemies even when you don’t know each other too well, you know.”

DO YOU HAVE A DARK SECRET THAT NO ONE KNOWS OF?

PLEASE TELL US MORE ABOUT YOURSELF.

Personality: Sungmin has a strong since of focus seeing his father train tirelessly and eventually completing his goal. He wanted that same fire as well believing that if one had a constant determination to work towards something they would get it. While due to his martial arts training Sungmin is athletic and prides himself on seeing his hard work being tangible (the belt ranks and his fitness level). Though his academic studies the male has become very observant of the world around and often comments on what his sees with sometimes biting wit. Sungming can be indecisive at times especially if he overthinks the situations. The pressure either freezes him up or makes him act on impulse. Since he prides himself on his looks and his abilities he can come off as vain and cocky.

Positive: Determined, Observant, Athletic, Artistic. Negative: Vain, Blunt, Overly Confident, Indecisive.

Bio: Growing up Sungmin lived most of his life in shadows as people seemed more interested in his father than him. Jihoon never trained his son and the question why always lead to a rant. This pushed him to be close to his mother following her to work as he was assumed to be shy and timid. To keep him quiet while she worked Miyoung asked him to draw her pictures or come up with a song and she would be treated to his wok on the way home. When Sungmin felt his life was starting to settle his mother made him go with her when she moved to the city reasoning she needed time to think. During his time in the states he took up acting and music getting involved in the local theater scene. He missed his father and as a way to be with him he took up martial arts. Upon his parents getting back together (along with moving back to Korea) the male continuing his interests in martial arts finally earning his father’s attention. However at times he was pushed too hard and given his timid nature bottle his anger which when it did come out was not pretty. Having such a reputation saved him from being bullied though it did scare some people from getting to know him.

Once high school was over he quietly entered the military within a few days after. Sungmin was the “perfect solider”. Quiet, followed orders, was already ready. Maybe he was too perfect which drew the ire of the soldiers, this where the he became a target and given his anger he showed why he shouldn’t be messed with. After this the rest of his military were fairly tame. Sungmin knew his parents expected him to go to college and rather than take the traditional of going away he decided for online classes which allowed him more time to train and adjust back to being a civilian. Though he still is the same that timid aura he once had is now gone replaced with a coldness…

SO WHAT DO YOU THINK OF BOSEONG?

There’s not much to do for young people so it can be boring. However it’s a good place to keep someone out of trouble. Everyone knows everyone… .for the most part so if you need help you can find someone. But that’s also how rumors spread.

HAVE YOU EVER LEFT OR THOUGHT ABOUT LEAVING BOSEONG?

Yes, many times but you need money and connections to do that. It’s not all bad though, way more quiet than being in the city.

WERE YOU CLOSE WITH HA EUNMI? WHAT WAS YOUR IMPRESSION OF HER?

Not really, I maybe have spoken to her once or twice in passing. She seemed like a decent person.

DO YOU HAVE A DARK SECRET THAT NO ONE KNOWS OF?

PLEASE TELL US MORE ABOUT YOURSELF.

“well, what do you want to know?” minyoung leaned back against her seat, crossing her arms. “i would say that i had a pretty good upbringing, despite not having my father in my life.” she tapped her nails against her arm as she crossed her legs, slouching into the chair. “word has it that when he found out he had gotten my mother pregnant, he vanished into thin air - just ‘poof, be gone!’“ she tilted her head to the side. "i’ve never met him and he’s never made an effort to reach out to me, so my mom has been both my mom and my dad and for as long as i’ve been on this earth, it’s just been the two of us.” she nodded her head, smiling. “i think he has tried to reach out to my mom, though, and it didn’t exactly end well for him.”

"on our end, though, things have proved to be pretty successful.”

she raised an eyebrow, leaning forward a little bit. “oh, my personality?” how would she describe herself? “i would like to say that i’m a hard worker, especially when it comes to my job because sometimes, things can go wrong doing radio and you can play the wrong son or the signal can get all botched up, so i just remain calm and do what i can.” she relaxed a little bit more, moving a strand of hair from her face. lowering her arms to her lap, she gave them a smile. “i’m quite friendly. my mother always taught me to show respect in order to earn it. i’ve had that motto all through my life - from when i was able to understand things up until now. however, she also taught me to defend myself by all means necessary. i sort of have that… ‘defend myself, defend my friends and family’ mentality when it comes down to it, you know? i’d want someone to defend me if times get too tough and i can’t handle it anymore.”

of course, like any other human being, those times do come. she can only be brave for so long, you know? there was only so long she could be hide her true feelings before she broke.

SO WHAT DO YOU THINK OF BOSEONG?

"it’s alright, i guess. i do think it could be a little bit better, but this is where i live. i’m happy to have a place to live and a job in this day and age.” she nodded her head. “i work at the radio station. chances are, if you tune into 99.9, you’ve heard me a few times.” she let out a small giggle, nodding her head. “but my favorite place is the dive bar.” her stomach growled. “as you can tell, that’s my next destination!” boseong was the place she lived. she graduated here, she had memories here and she was pretty sure that one day, she’d have kids who would live here, too. that was that.

HAVE YOU EVER LEFT OR THOUGHT ABOUT LEAVING BOSEONG?

“yes, i have. i thought about it when i was looking for colleges.” she nodded her head. “prior to that, mom wanted to move us once but she wanted me to finish high school first. so, it was put on hold.” she shrugged her shoulders. “she ended up forgetting once she got a promotion and we ended up staying here. grandparents were a bit disappointed but…”

WERE YOU CLOSE WITH HA EUNMI? WHAT WAS YOUR IMPRESSION OF HER?

“ah, ha eunmi…” her smile instantly fell. it wasn’t exactly easy to talk about her - it still wasn’t, even after five years - especially knowing what had happened to her but not knowing the specific details about it. “she was known as a sweetheart all around… everyone who really bumped into her had good things to say, from my knowledge. every time i’ve bumped into her, we’ve been cordial - we’ve talked and i would always laugh at what she had to say.”

she rubbed the back of her neck with her hand, sighing as she thought further on the matter. the whole thing was like a complete and utter nightmare to her and they weren’t even that close - she just felt for her and her family. to lose someone is hard enough.

but to lose them in this manner is heart breaking.

“one of the last times i saw her, we sort of… had a falling out?” she looked up at the cops. “things were said, things that i know we both didn’t mean. i walked out on her and that was it, never saw her again. had i known that, i would’ve made things right then and there and when my mother broke the news to me, i just…” she sighed again. “i broke down.”

“i couldn’t make things right with her a-and i hate myself for that.”

DO YOU HAVE A DARK SECRET THAT NO ONE KNOWS OF?

PLEASE TELL US MORE ABOUT YOURSELF.

[ my name is ji eunyoung. i work as a server at the devil’s kitchen bar. i currently live alone and also have a couple of side hustles that i need to do to make ends meet. what else do you need to know? what are you trying to get out of this? i think that’s enough for today. i won’t be surprised if anyone uses this information against me. ]

SO WHAT DO YOU THINK OF BOSEONG?

[ ah, boseong? well, to be completely honest, it’s one hell of a shit hole. everyone seems to effortlessly know each other in addition to ironically having their guards up. don’t we all have secrets to keep? ]

HAVE YOU EVER LEFT OR THOUGHT ABOUT LEAVING BOSEONG?

[ after mother’s sudden death and being disowned by you-know-who, who is probably listening to this, all the time! if i could, i would. but boseong is just too, you know, “dirty”? ]

WERE YOU CLOSE WITH HA EUNMI? WHAT WAS YOUR IMPRESSION OF HER?

[ oh, ha eunmi? i heard we attended the same school. whatever happened to her, it’s unfortunate. i guess, in some ways, we have our similarities. i have heard her name around, but never seen her face in person. ]   

DO YOU HAVE A DARK SECRET THAT NO ONE KNOWS OF?

PLEASE TELL US MORE ABOUT YOURSELF.

“My name is Lee Jaein,” he said. “I recently moved back home with my parents, grandparents and siblings.” Yes, they were one of those families that never wanted to stray too far from each other. As such, they ended up all living in this big house with a rose garden and became as much family members as they were best friends. Jaein didn’t care to pick favorites, but if he must, then it would be his grandfather. He was gifted with two younger siblings who were born at the same time. While he was happy to have two little ones following him around, it also meant his parents had less time for him. Fortunately, grandfather always made him feel special and taught him how to play the violin.

“I moved out into my own apartment when I returned from university but after getting into a minor accident, my family insisted that I went home so they could take care of me.” The truth was, the accident was anything but minor. Recklessly chasing after a crook without waiting for backup, Jaein ended up in an unbalanced combat. Without a doubt, if his fellow officers hadn’t showed up when they did, he would have gone home with more than just a broken arm, two cracked ribs and a cut above his eye. Yeah, that last one was a bit close. Any lower and that knife could have impaired his vision permanently. Everyone reacted poorly to the situation, but Jaein himself felt fine. He did, after all, accomplish his goal of catching the bad guys - getting a little hurt was totally worth it.

“Personality wise…I consider myself an observant guy. I have a way of scanning my environment and gathering clues, then piecing them together later. It is a useful trait to have in my career.” Jaein poured himself a glass of water, and one for the interviewer too. “I do tend to go after things on my own, though. Not that I don’t believe in team work, but I can be somewhat impatient. When I am on a case, I really need to see it to the end - sometimes obsessively so. I would forget eating, sleeping…talking to people. Back when I was in school and focused on my projects, I was the exact same way.” Maybe that was why he got good grades, but had a tendency of just crashing and burning after the exams were over. “I also have a temper, according to my friends. Been working on it though.” Music helped.

SO WHAT DO YOU THINK OF BOSEONG?

“Boseong is…” His smile turned a little awkward as he searched for the right words. It didn’t feel right to Jaein to badmouth his hometown, but the truth was, he always knew this place wasn’t as peaceful as people thought it was. Fishing, game nights, star gazing on the grass…everything looked fine on paper, but maybe it was all too good to be true.

HAVE YOU EVER LEFT OR THOUGHT ABOUT LEAVING BOSEONG?

“I left Boseong only for university and police academy.” The thought of venturing further and checking out the cities did occur to him, but in the end, Jaein simply couldn’t leave his family.”

WERE YOU CLOSE WITH HA EUNMI? WHAT WAS YOUR IMPRESSION OF HER?

"Ha Eunmi?” He glanced up, eyes narrowing slightly. “Why are we bringing her up now? Her case closed a while ago, right?” Shoulders tensing, Jaein caught himself and eased backwards into the cushion of his chair. He intended to take only a sip of his water, but ended up draining his glass in two gulps. “I know of her. She is the around the same age as my baby brothers and I’ve ran into her a few times.” One of the twins really liked her, but as far as Jaein knew, Ha Eunmi never spared him a single glance.” 

“We spoke once…” A part of him wanted to get off this topic about the dead girl, but the other part of him wanted to talk more. “I saw her with a twisted ankle and offered her a piggyback ride to the nearest bus station. My girlfriend at the time saw it and gave me total rockets afterwards.” Ridiculous accusations from a place of insecurity. As if Jaein would ever be interested in a girl that was four years younger than him.” 

DO YOU HAVE A DARK SECRET THAT NO ONE KNOWS OF?

PLEASE TELL US MORE ABOUT YOURSELF.

“about me… “ he repeats, voice low in tone and distant, his brown empty eyes glance at the table in front of him. junkyu doesn’t know if he really wants to speak about himself, he would much rather not speak at all, would much rather prefer to be back in the safety of his bedroom where those four walls were a barrier to the outside. “i’m kang junkyu, i was born on the 16th march 1998, which makes me twenty three years old.” there’s a pause, and he finds his hands clasping together, fiddling with his fingers. a habit, one that had grown after eunmi’s death, eventually calming down a couple of years after but now is back stronger than ever. it’s unsettling, really, having to talk about himself like he’s one considered doubtful. he hates the way the countless eyes are watching him, observing him like he’s hiding things. suspicious, he has no doubt it’s one thing they think of him as, but little do they know. it makes him want to scoff, to up and leave the room because fuck staying here. but he can’t, and as much as his anxiety is bubbling the longer the eyes bore into him, he refuses to show them it’s getting to him. no, he won’t give that satisfaction. “i work as a forensic scientist, have sort of done since i graduated.” it’s funny, isn’t it? he’s also has expandable knowledge on the police industry simply because of his curious nature, though not to the standards the curious presences surrounding him are, but who knows, maybe one day he would be on their level. he was determined, after all.

he chooses not to discuss things more personal to him, more deep things. like the way his heart is profoundly thumping against his chest, the way his hands already feel clammy within minutes into the interview. the way his throat feels dry and scratchy, the way he’s so tense that he partially feels like he could pass off as a statue - refuses to show that or make it known. instead, his eyes are empty, but if you look deep enough, you can see the anger, the sadness, frustration, confusion, you could see it all. but to those on the outside, kang junkyu just seems like a young adult, slightly lost in the world with a dark, heavy shadow hovering over him constantly. it’s like darkness all around, slowly embedding into everybody within the last five years and this darkness has been eating junkyu alive ever since. it’s a constant battle, an internal fight, and he refuses to lose.

unexpectedly, he glances up, eyes deterring from the table and straight into the officers eyes who sits opposite him. pauses, he chooses not to speak, instead just stares back. and then, he breaks away, averting his eyes towards the camera for a few long moments. he knows. junkyu knows what they’re trying to do. but he won’t indulge, no, he won’t.

“what do you really want to know?”

SO WHAT DO YOU THINK OF BOSEONG?

how is he meant to say that boseong feels like a deep, gaping black hole? it’s a town full of trouble, a void and he questions whether it would ever feel like a place he can call home. “well, i can think of a few other places where i’d like to be,” he nods along, naming a few places in his mind. “it’s a town full of darkness. small town, everyone knows each other pretty much, or has at least heard of each other. not really much privacy in a town like this, but maybe that’s more so the people here rather than the size.” it’s a partial dig, but it’s true. how different would boseong be if people were to mind their own business? would it be a nicer place? would.. things have been different? he can only sigh, because truthfully, even he himself doesn’t quite know what he thinks of boseong. “i’m use to it.” unfortunately, he thinks.

HAVE YOU EVER LEFT OR THOUGHT ABOUT LEAVING BOSEONG?

“who hasn’t?” junkyu answers, releasing a deep breath ever so slowly. of course he has, five years ago after everything, he wanted nothing more than to pack up and move away. he wanted to escape, to run away from everything, to distance himself from the pain and heartache. wanted to just, disappear. with all of the eyes watching him, staring at him - something he despised with an immense passion. start fresh, it was something he could only dream of, though something he knows he’ll never be able to do. not in boseong, and he knows that even moving to a different city wouldn’t make it all go away. impossible. hell, it’d be suspicious if he had, if he does. “not the happiest place here, is it?”

WERE YOU CLOSE WITH HA EUNMI? WHAT WAS YOUR IMPRESSION OF HER?

he knew this question was coming, he knew. yet, he couldn’t prepare himself enough. never would, and even the mention of her name causes him to force his eyes shut for a few moments. his heart hurts, and he just knows that the judging eyes watching him are watching twice as closely now. “yeah..” it’s a whisper, a pained one, as his eyes reopen he feels the stinging sensation. “she was my girlfriend-” the stinging gets worse, and he tries so hard to avoid letting any tears drop. “my ex, my ex girlfriend..” just another painful reminder, of all the memories, of everything that happened the months leading up to her death. “we were together for a while, she was my first and only relationship..” he really doesn’t want to sit there and discuss his relationship with eunmi, it feels invasive and there’s things that junkyu wants to keep to himself. because in boseong, everyone knows everyone’s business, and there’s things that he wishes to keep to himself, to keep private. “the last few months of our relationship, i started to notice she was,” junkyu pauses, hesitantly, and forces down the lump that sits in his throat. “she was acting different, more.. unlike herself. i noticed but.. i didn’t say anything. not until i kept hearing things, so i confronted her and.. she said she was being threatened.” can the interview be over now? it’s not like he hasn’t told them this all before, why does he have to repeat it all? why does he have to go through this all over again? “but with everything i kept hearing, i just- it frustrated me, and we started arguing, then one day we were arguing and i just..” his head bows down in shame, regret, because he wishes he had went about things differently. he failed her. “i broke up with her, out of anger. for a few weeks after, we didn’t speak at all, but we ended up getting paired for a project in class and we started talking again briefly.” 

grinding his teeth together, he recalls the night too perfectly. the last night. “we were doing okay, but still hadn’t thought or spoke about getting back together. a few days before she..” fuck. “she called me while i was studying, and when i answered she was like.. uncontrollable. frantic, almost, i could barely understand and i was so tired but i tried to calm her down, and she just wouldn’t. in the end, i ended up snapping at her.” the lump in his throat feels twice as big, and even trying to force it down is impossible. the scene replays in his head automatically, like it’s stuck on repeat and never ending. “that was the last time i spoke to her. and i regret it so much. she- she didn’t deserve this at all, even after everything that happened, i never once thought of her as a bad person.” of course, even with as much strength he was using to try and push the tears away, junkyu’s powerless, and his eyes fill with hot, fresh tears that he feels slide down his face, burning his skin. “she was beautiful. from the moment i saw her, she already had a piece of my heart. she was like.. the brightest star in the sky, there was just something about her that made her shine differently. she was a fresh personality, special. we.. were there for each other, throughout our relationship and even after we had broken up. although we weren’t together, if either of us could tell something was up, we’d remind each other. but, i did pretty shitty at that..” he forces a laugh like scoff. “i loved her.. i really did, i still do.” i could have done something, he scolds himself mentally. raises a hand to wipe away the tears that dampen his skin. “i don’t wanna talk about this anymore..” 

DO YOU HAVE A DARK SECRET THAT NO ONE KNOWS OF?