Lose Myself In A Daydream

Christmas: Ron buys Hermione absurdly large books she already owns. She kisses him anyway. He makes her laugh with Weasley jumpers for Crookshanks.

New Year’s: They fall asleep on the couch before midnight every year. Hermione denies it. Ron has photographic proof.

Valentine’s Day: Ron buys her magical flowers that sneeze. She retaliates with mooing chocolates. It becomes a challenge. She’s winning.

Birthdays: Hermione designs wild scavenger hunts. Ron ends up soaked, charmed, or sticky. Always ends with a kiss. Always worth it.

Anniversary: They sneak into the Hogwarts library after hours. Hermione claims nostalgia. Ron just enjoys kissing her in the restricted section.

Sprout

Has a different floppy gardening hat for every season.

Calls her plants “sweethearts” and sings to them in Welsh.

Keeps a stash of snacks for students who stay after class, and a bottle of firewhisky for after-hours with Minerva.

Calls her students “ducklings,” “beansprouts,” or “my little sporelings” depending on the weather.

Tends the memorial garden behind the greenhouses where the war casualties are honored. She talks to them.

Flitwick

Collects tiny magical instruments that play themselves. Students passing his door often hear lullabies.

Leaves little enchanted notes of encouragement on struggling students’ essays.

Keeps a perfectly organized drawer labeled “Contraband Confetti.”

Has taught three generations of the same family. Always remembers birthdays.

Hagrid

Knits huge lumpy scarves for the staff every winter. Only McGonagall wears hers publicly. She pretends it’s for warmth.

Made a wooden memorial for Aragog and visits it every year with a mug of cider and a story.

Once made a prosthetic leg for a three-legged Bowtruckle and cried when it used it to climb a tree.

Hosts secret “Midnight Cocoa Nights” for first-years who are homesick. No one ever rats him out.

Has a dozen teapots, none of which match, and all of which have names. His favorite is a chipped one named Bessie.

Madam Poppy Pomfrey

Can diagnose a lie about how you got injured from 30 feet away with her back turned.

Has a hidden stash of chocolate frogs and peppermint creams for post-cry hugs.

Was a top healer at St. Mungo’s — she chose Hogwarts because she “liked fixing hearts as much as bones.”

Remembers every student’s allergies, heartbreaks, and favourite biscuit.

Madam Rolanda Hooch

Knows everything about every student’s broom. She can tell when someone’s been cheating on their maintenance.

Hosts secret night-time broom flying under the stars for stressed-out seventh years.

Can outdrink McGonagall and arm-wrestle Hagrid. Has done both.

Argus Filch

Remembers every kid who got detention and which ones said thank you.

Filch secretly knits cat sweaters. Mrs. Norris has seasonal outfits.

They both haunt the corridors at night for the drama. Filch lives for it.