AND I'M HOLLOW

#BORNHOLLOWED indie. & sel. BLEACH multimuse, ft. canons and ocs. sideblog to and follows back from @clanofd affiliated with: @jinjahime and all blogs cody. 34. they/them. white. graphics by @/senaedits. rules and muses under the cut

since losing his powers, ichigo's drawn away from people. he knows that as a fact, and he also knows that it's hurting people. but the worst part of it is that ichigo can't bring himself to care.

it's not that he doesn't love his family, he does. he loves his parents and his siblings, he loves his friends. it's the fact that he can't protect them anymore- he feels useless, and that hurts him. worse, he feels like now he needs protecting, that he's too weak to even take care of himself-

he thinks it's the worst with kosuke. ever since his brother discovered his own powers, his yokai status, it feels like the world has shifted. where ichigo had once stood, now stands kosuke.

ichigo finds himself avoiding him more than anyone else.

it's an accident when they end up walking home from school together. bad timing on ichigo's part, but now that they're walking side by side, he can't just walk off. that just seems cruel, even for his current state of mind. at least they can walk in silence.

"i guess it's something that just never goes away."

for a second, ichigo isn't sure what kosuke is talking about, but after another moment of silence, it settles, and ichigo brings his gaze from the pavement below to his brother.

"...no, it doesn't." because that's the truth; the feeling that you need to protect others never goes away, even if you can't do it anymore, even if it'd be actively foolish to try.

"look, i know i've been distant lately, but i'm just...trying to deal with everything. with the fact that i can't keep my family and friends safe anymore. with-"

with the fact that i haven't seen rukia since it happened.

"just...don't waste your time worrying about me, okay? you've got bigger things to deal with, you have people relying on you." he means it as a vote of confidence, reaching out to punch kosuke's shoulder lightly.

bedridden by their latest episode of sickness, michiyo's less concerned about being sick and more concerned about missing lessons at the academy. though captain aizen has promised they'll be up and to studying soon, michiyo can't help but feel contained and restless, and worried about falling behind.

rukia had visited in the morning, and michiyo had all but begged her to bring back some studying material, so when renji shows up instead, michiyo is surprised, though not unpleasantly so.

seeing their classmate, whoever it is, is enough to lift michiyo's spirits, and his words are enough to have them laughing, weakly but amused nonetheless.

"yeah, that's true. it's still crazy to me that i can be perfectly fine one day and the next day? this-" they gesture down at themself, tucked under a blanket on their futon. initially, rukia had tried to convince michiyo to go to the fourth for healing, but since captain aizen had already come by, michiyo had declined. they couldn't do anything for michiyo that captain aizen couldn't do, anyway.

"what'd you learn in lessons today? i was really looking forward to learning new kido, but i guess it'll have to wait. unless you wanna give me a demonstration. just don't burn down the barracks!"