not active. all the best, Blue

No, seriously. When people are opening their minds and trying to learn, don’t slam their minds closed by being a jerk. I know there are some people asking questions in bad faith, if you realize that’s what’s happening block and go, or just don’t interact. You don’t have to answer at all if you don’t want to, nothing says you have to interact to begin with. Just don’t be rude is all?  I remember when I was learning about feminism after escaping my edgy anti sjw phase as a kid. I would ask questions, pretty stupid ones sometimes, but I was being genuine and I would get shot down almost every time. It almost made me want to quit learning. It made me feel like I wasn’t welcomed in a community that was also meant for me as an afab person who identified with my agab at the time, but because I wasn’t as educated and didn’t know how to research I was treated like I was out to hurt people when I was just a dumb kid trying to learn.  The other day in some tiktok comments I saw somebody ask, pretty nicely might I add, if trans people experience something similar to body dysmorphia but with their gender instead. A very easy question to answer, but I saw somebody in the comments calling them ignorant and that they should just look it up on google.. Absolutely not, that’s so rude. Google can be hard to use, especially if you don’t know exactly what you’re meant to be researching. You don’t know what you don’t know, yknow? If you can’t answer the question then don’t, but don’t literally insult people for trying to learn.  I’d also argue that it can be a bit ableist to expect people to know how to research, or assume things are common sense. Some of us have learning disabilities. Fun fact, learning disablities don’t just stop once you leave school, they effect all learning. There are still some concepts that just won’t click in my mind, and it’s lead me to ask some goofy questions in the name of just trying to understand better. 

I'm so fucking ashamed of my thoughts and deeply disturbed by them, that I can't talk with anyone about it.

"Hahah i can't imagine you being angry"

Yeah you all won't, because I'm regulating myself so damn hard on a daily basis so no one gets to see this side of me. "No i really would like to see you angry" - like... no. Do you not understand what a fucking monster fueled by rage there is inside of me?

Man do people not understand that this whole disorder is caused by trauma and if I'm getting angry I try to defend myself and am willing to destroy you, because my life feels threatened?!