Nothing is Forever

Oh yes… That child. Yes, he is screaming bloody murder and yes he  does look in danger of bursting a blood vessel. Don’t worry he does thatevery day. You see, because of his age and possibly some other  contributing factors He is not yet securely attached to his mother and he believes that every time she leaves she will not come back. He thinks  this may be the last time he ever sees her. So yes he’s screaming. All  he needs is for you to hold him while he screams, kicks and flails about in such a way you will get bruising or drop him.  You’re cool with that right? 

Shush now it’s mat time. Stand up, this song’s got actions. Yes you’re expected to do them, every time the song plays, no matter how many  times. If you’re lucky it’ll be one where you have to take turns and there will be that one child who refuses and throws a spanner in the works for everyone. 

Now joy of joys it’s free play time! This is the fun part. Except not for youYou’ve got to concentrate on setting up thoughtfully planned out  learning experiences that will get messed up and not go the one you  planned. Then you will have to clean up the inevitable mess as well as  dealing with that conflict in the corner between two kids who cannot  possibly share out the blocks, convince the half naked girl in the sand pitto get back into her trousers, mop up the dye someone’s spilled on the  floor and over themselves, hang up 1,000 paintings and take 3 billion  photos, all the while trying to have a meaningful combination with these hyper lisping manic small creatures because that’s how learning and assessments happen in kindergarten. 

Somewhere in there you need to make time for these little wrigglers to  eat. Of course this time will need to be monitored meticulously to make sure the kid with the deadly nut/dairy/egg/gluten/fish allergy doesn’t  eat/touch/breathe in the vicinity of something of something that  could/definitely will kill them. On top of all this, you have to check their  not eating too much/too little/ the person next to them’s lunch and that  all the waste that possibly can be recycled/composted/ fed to worms/turned into fantastic art is properly directed. 

Someone’s too hot! Someone’s too cold! Someone’s painting the  bathroom wall! 

finally when the end of the day comes and you’ve filed art work, written up assessments, researched lesson plans, replenished resources and  sorted out the requests for placements you still have to answer to all  and sundry who question how you do your job and the various ways  you’re going wrong. This includes professional development lecturers,  ministry people who’ve never done a day in a classroom, parents,  university students and anybody with an internet connection and picked you as a sounding off target. 

And you know what? Even after all of this you still come to work with a  smile on your face. Why? Because kids are cute? No. Because they saythe darndest things? Well, partly but mostly because that  boy screaming blue murder calmed down because of you and had a  really enjoyable rest of the day. Those obnoxious songs had the kids  singing the same words over and over actually really helped them with  their understanding of language and formation of words. Today children learnt social skills, artistic skills, gross and fine motor skills, language,  math and science. Even better they learnt that they have a place and  that their voice matters. 

That they will be listened to when they have something to say. That theywill be held when they hurt, fed when they’re hungry and stimulated  when they’re curious. They learn that their needs matter. They learn  they are worthy of being loved. 

The worst lies are the ones we tell ourselves. Here are some of them.

“There’s no other way.“

There’s always another way. You might not like it, and there may be obstacles, but there’s always another way.

"Both sides are equally to blame.”

Drummed into us at an early age by busy parents and lazy teachers, this has infected our news media with a sickness where they refuse to put blame on one side of a conflict without putting some sort of blame on the other side. What’s the point? Just tell the truth. Yes, there are “two sides to every story”, but the truth is that most of the time, one guy is being an asshole. Yes, it “takes two to tango”, but someone always leads.

Try not to advertise your pride at refusing to put any effort into your opinion.

“I’m a good and loyal friend.”

You’re about as good and loyal a friend as anyone else; until you’re not. 

A friend is someone you’ve decided to be nice to, for whatever reasons. At some point, one of these people might annoy you so much (or allow the friendship to fall into such a state of disrepair) that you have to “defriend” him. And then you stop being nice to him. So you’re nice to people until you decide to stop being nice to them. Well done.

Think of all the people you used to be friends with and you’re not anymore. How did that happen? Don’t bother answering; we’re all in the same boat. 

“If I was in Nazi Germany, I wouldn’t have gone along with it.”

I can promise you, wherever you are, there is some injustice happening. Someone is being treated badly: maybe refugees, indigenous minorities, Muslims, atheists, Jews, black people, Christians, women or someone else. 

Some group of people you’re not a part of is being horribly mistreated. You’re in that situation right now. Whatever you’re doing right now, that’s what you would have done. 

And now you know how it happens.

“I’d be happy if I just had X.”

No, you wouldn’t. 

If you had that hot chick / job / 42″ plasma screen TV, you’d just want something else. 

The key to happiness is to adopt an attitude that suits your current circumstances. Buddha understood this thousands of years ago, but it’s an uphill struggle to see the obvious when we’ve been hard-wired in the opposite direction by evolution, reinforced by rampant capitalism. 

The “wanting” monster lives in your head and the more you feed it, the stronger it will get.

They say ambition is good for you, but I disagree. I think ambition kills and we need to discourage it.

“I would never normally do this. I’m not that sort of person.”

Who cares what sort of person you are? Who cares what you would normally do? What you actually do is what tells us the sort of person you are, not your verbal provisos. 

Also, there’s no such thing as “that sort of person”. Stop thinking like that.

“I’m not racist.”

Everyone’s some sort of racist. The real danger is if you fall into the following logic trap: 

Racism is bad.

I am not a bad person.

Therefore I am not racist.

I suspect that racism is a consequence of some erstwhile highly useful survival skill. We have been told that racism is taught, but I think that people are naturally hard-wired to reject anyone that doesn’t fit with the home team.  I frequently make snap judgments about people based on their race, wardrobe, sexual orientation and vocabulary. I shouldn’t, but it’s hard to beat millions of years of evolution plus conditioning. However, I recognise that it’s a bad thing and I am working on it. I’m in a constant struggle with myself to try to be a better person. And so should you. But don’t lie about it.

“I’m a good judge of character.”

No, you’re not; anyone can be fooled. 

If you’re not picking up on the times when you’re being fooled, it shows an alarming lack of social awareness. 

Please play poker with me.

“This is the best we can do.”

This is never true. There is always a better way, whether we’re talking about capitalism, representative democracy, or how your fridge is organised.

Of course, those who benefit from capitalism will be incentivised to promote the belief that capitalism is the best we can do, and so on. 

There is always a better way. 

“I’m a better driver than most.”

No, you’re not. 

You take unnecessary risks, you drive too fast sometimes and you don’t consider other road users enough. If you get into an accident, there’s a reasonable chance (estimated by me just now at 50%) that it will be your fault.

More like Princess PREACH.

Theories of Disappointment

Happy National Poetry Month! This month on Incidental Comics I’ll be referencing (both directly and indirectly) poems that have inspired my work.

You can order a print of this comic at my shop.

Further reading:

“Die Slowly” by Martha Medeiros (apocryphally attributed to Pablo Neruda)