Swallowed waist-deep in the gore of the forest

About me? Well, I'm an artist, and art is the main way I deal with being in a human body. Most of what I draw is mine or my husband's nonhuman forms. I am friendly and open to good spirited questions and conversation!

Here is my main form's ref:

I'm genderqueer, basically in the sense that I don't strongly identify with gender enough for it to impact me, but I also don't like being called a "woman". I've narrowed down that I instead prefer to be referred to as a "female", but I don't really care what pronouns people use for me.

So I do fall under the "not totally cis" bracket, but this is intrinsically linked to my nonhumanity. I don't want a woman's chest anatomy, because ew gross, I'm not ever planning to reproduce, and tits are only ever apparent when mammals have recently had young. Gross.

In trans-specific places, the only way I can explain my gender differences is by also explaining my nonhumanity. If I do that, more likely than not, I'll either be laughed at, disregarded, or worse, told I'm actively being malicious towards the community because being trans is real, but "pretending to be an animal" is not, and "discredits the community".

And I'm sensitive to that. I totally get why, in our current society, it's not safe to conflate being a therian or nonhuman with being trans. I wish we could all live authentically, but in a world where being an animal essentially puts you on the same tier as "object", saying that we're "the same" as trans humans puts them in that category as well. This creates real danger for them, as the cards are already stacked against them. I'm not willing to endanger any one of my human trans friends by asserting the fact that I'm not cis because I'm not human.

It's not fair, and it shouldn't be like this. Everyone should be able to be celebrated for who they are. This creates a situation where every time I've ever wanted to "come out" as genderqueer in a safe place for trans humans, I stop short.

It's very isolating. The only place I can talk about this shit is places like this, and with a select few online friends. I could find a trans human space tomorrow if I wanted, but there's no nonhuman groups around my area: at least, not open ones that I could find.

That being said, I don't care that people call me "a male" (used to happen more when I was a kid), but not "a boy/man".

Paws aren't there

Spring's new warmth is in the air

Rapid pulse

Sleeping poorly

No long tail to wrap securely

Skin is bare

No fur, no claws

No sharp teeth within my jaws

Living life

With chest exposed

Walking upright, wearing clothes

Running slow

On flattened feet

Moving to a foreign beat

Gazing up

Into the sky

Wishing dearly I could fly

Traffic light

I stop the car

Why are we the way we are?

Memory

Of times gone past

Wild spaces, green and vast

Living now

In a shape that's wrong