an easily aggro'd animal

and it will turn into redirected aggression so fast i can't even leave the bedroom because it's not fair to snap at others like that when they didn't cause this. i just want to be numb for like... a day.

and the anger is just on loop, long after i've got any reasonable excuse for being so fucking enraged. i have reasons to be angry, but not this angry. or do i? i can't even tell anymore.

i fucking hate waking up this way. i need to go work and clean but all i can do is sit here furious.

never gonna be okay. just get used to it.

why does this have to happen now?

i have a job interview and i can't stop sobbing not now not now not now goddamnit

suicidal. no relief. of course.

i hate what i am and i hate existing like this. i wish i could go back. i wish i could just ignore how much i wish i wasn't here but it's not that simple and i hate myself for it.

i hate it here so fucking much

i just wanted to be happy for one moment

god i wish i was dead

it always gets worse until I get tired of it

i fucked up and got myself in this broken, sad, sorry situation, and there's no one to blame but myself

no undoing this i wish trying did any good stuck here just like ive been everywhere else sleep please sleep

bed. sorry.

nevermind

hahaha of course it's all in my head all my fault all me all me all me god how stupid can i get