why is the rum always gone

Slay queen! Slay king! Slay jack! Slay 10! Slay Ace! I don't know how to play cards ♥️

Let’s hear it for bagel & cream cheese

we cant keep having more weeks

Lot of nuance to a ritz cracker if you really pay attention

[chris traeger voice] literally

 [jean-ralphio voice] the wo~orst

[tom haverford voice] Nooo

[ben wyatt voice] bobby newport

[ron swanson voice] she’s here

[tami 2 voice] hey ron

[Little Sebastian voice] whinny

we all deserve someone who at the end of the day says “ i missed u so much today ”

‪What part of “i don’t wanna spend anymore money” don’t I understand

Literally

i was waiting on the pizza delivery guy to call me to say my pizza is here and when my phone rang i accidentally answered with “Pizza?” instead of hello and he replied “yes this is pizza”