Ambivalencia

muehehehe its finally done!!! its a bit overdramatic shoujo manga core but eh who cares? i love shoujo!!!

the goodbye maneuver

the goodbye maneuver

oh geez

This is both extremely dramatic and also not canon-esque at all, like i dont see anything remotely like this happening, but it was fun. I do want to see them argue. Not only fight knives-and-guns-blazing, but like an ideological crossroads. In this case: their approaches to their life views. Aside from the obvious ideologies they've adopted from garden and wise, Twilight is very self-sacrificial, seeming not to care about the impact his death would have on those depending on him, putting everything in for the mission. On the other hand, Yor knows the importance of life, she had to live in order for her brother to live, she takes lives up-close so she knows their weight and how easily they can be snuffed out. Therefore, she's more careful about being able to make it home so that she can be there for her family.

with this most recent arc, even though she isn't getting a full view of how much harm he puts himself in, that last panel in the last chapter of him dragging himself in the hospital (although it was funny) kinda got me thinking. What if yor got an inkling of how little he cared for himself? and what if, when confronted about it, he refused to stand down?

now presenting my unserious predictions for ch 138 :D

and so a plan is formed…

Why Twilight was so afraid of the possibility of Yor meeting Capt. Curtis at chp.134. 🤔🤔

Sure we laugh it off and think of it as "Twilight facing the consequences of his own action". But if we think of it further, and logically.... Yor meeting Capt. Curtis shouldn't be such a dire condition for Twilight at that time. 🤔🤔

Because:

1. If Yor does recognize Capt. Curtis, she won't blurt it right there right then, because she's afraid of SSS and she never like being the center of attention (especially in a party). I say, pointing at someone and 'accusing' one as SSS in the middle of the party would make you become the center of attention.

2. Accusing someone as SSS has dire consequences, just like Twilight himself has point it out at the next chapter (chp. 135)

3. Even if Yor did point it out that she has met Capt. Curtis and that he is an SSS, Yor and anyone at that party WILL NOT point at Loid Forger (who stand between them) and immediately knows/accuses that he was the Twilight who impersonating Capt. Curtis. It's even more impossible for anyone to suspect Loid as Twilight because everyone has grown fond of Loid Forger and even symphatize with him for having Yuri as brother-in-law.

So, the worst outcome of Yor blurting out that 'she has ever met Capt. Curtis before' at the party might be: (1) all of the SSS officers (and director) there would be aware that Twilight exist (which they already know), and (2) Twilight knows their faces (which they already know too, based on their experiences during the Mole Hunting arc).

So, back to the question: Why was Twilight so afraid that Yor remembering Capt. Curtis as SSS officer?

I guess...... It's because Twilight is afraid of Yor leaving him the arragement.

It's been shown from the very begining how (for some reason) Twilight was so afraid of Yor leaving him their arragement.

We've seen this fear happen first time before the butt disasterous date

And then again during chp.35

He even admit it out loud to Fiona, to justify his action of not killing Yuri during the Mole Hunting arc.

He was afraid for not knowing the reason Yor was angry at him, and that if he couldn't fix it, it might push her away

He was so relieved after, when Yor was not angry at him anymore, to the point that his exhausted body literally crumpled

He was so afraid of Yor leaving -- to the point when Yor asked a potential question.....

He was so shocked his mind run even faster, creating what ifs, reasons, etc etc etc....

And when Yor actually leave for her work during the Cruise arc..... in only 24 hours of separation he already missed her.

Ahem, yeah... anyway.... I think the real reason of Loid being so paranoid of Yor meeting Capt. Curtis is the possibility of Yor connecting the dots, and thus knowing that Yuri IS an SSS.

If Yor already knows about Yuri being the SSS, then she wouldn't need the cover marriage anymore, because Twilight believe that the SSS would never harm any of their member, so then Yor can stop being worry. If Yor has stopped being worry, then she will leave.

And if Yor left, all of Twilight's hardwork will go drown the drain.

At least, that what Twilight has been believing all this time.

He has yet to realize how he has grown fond of Yor and Anya. That these girls has become those dear to him.

With Anya, Twilight knows that Anya will always stick with him and in her age, Anya doesn't have the ability to leave.

But Yor is an adult. She can and has the power to leave if she wants to. Twilight has yet to realize that he has found something in Yor, something that he actually has been wanting for so long, that he doesn't want to loose her. Just like @flutefemme said right here

But he's getting there. Bit by bit.

ive been thinking for a while now, i know the show is half whimsy and half politics but Anyas role has always been the most interesting to me.

In an adopted family as a kid that has been experimented on before, possibly have been done tests on, been in a high stress environment coming into a dynamic where she feels safe. Yet this family exists on the condition that she does well in a different high stress environment, in academics which probably never been her strong suit, already starting from a set back (being younger than her peers) is just so interesting to me. Untapped potential.

And imagine having all these horrible experiences, terrified you’re going to be put back in it if you don’t perform AGAIN, coming from a place where you were made to achieve either a war or world peace, to a family where your job is to make world peace happen. The two situations have so many parallels and there is just no way a kid wouldn’t be triggered by it sooner or later. I always imagined she slowly grows up to have performance anxiety.

Everyone else in Yor's life seems to believe she was. I'm sure Yuri would have taken any lie Yor told him about her work at face value, especially when he was a child who wouldn't understand. But he isn't stupid. And unlike with his suspicious about Yor's marriage, everyone else in his life also believes this. Yuri probably put the pieces together when he got older which only made him more overprotective.

This would recontextualize a lot of Yuri's actions. From his perspective, his sister was a victim of repeated child exploitation from unknown men. She purposefully didn't tell him and Yuri wasn't able to do anything. Now a strange unknown man has apparently been married to his sister and she didn't tell him? It probably felt like the same thing was happening all over again. But this time he could do something about it.

That's why he did a complete 180 from trying to find Yor a boyfriend to trying to have Loid executed. Why any suggestion of them being intimate sets him off more than anything else. And why he is so focused on eliminating scumbags from their country.

I think this was hinted at in Yuri's very first appearance. We have never seen him behave as violently as he did in his introduction scene. Yuri started off his interrogation with Mr. Hayward pretty calm and jovial. But when Mr. Hayward says that he was "spending money on ladies" and claiming that Yuri should know what that's like as a man, Yuri explodes. He starts sadistically torturing Hayward while screaming about protecting his family. To him, this man was as bad as the people who took advantage of his sister.

Bonus points if Loid starts to imagine rational benefits to stay a husband and father. Like

"surely Yuri would come after me if I divorced Yor"

"Anya would find it hard to stay at Eden if I left to be a spy... that would cause suspicion"

"the other fathers at Eden would surely disprove of me leaving, and theyre invaluable sources of information"

"Bond must have someone capable taking care of him since he was part of Project Apple"

If he finds out Yor is an assassin "aw hell no Im not trying to die. She'd kick my ass in half a second"

One of the main things that stood out to me is how Yor reacts when Yuri sees the tickets and "invites" himself to go with her. She refuses, telling him that he can't because she wants to go with Loid...and correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe this is the first time she's admitted desiring something for herself; not because she feels it will help someone else, as is usually the case for her, but it's something she wants so bad that she'll turn down her beloved bother.

Not only that, but this is also the first time that Yor tells Yuri that she loves Loid! He's questioned her about this a few times throughout the series, and every time she hesitates, being too embarrassed and uncertain to admit it. But this time, she says it loud and clear!

Having realized her true feelings thanks to Anya's help back in chapter 120, I'm glad to see that she's consistently being more "bold" about this fact, not reverting back to hiding or downplaying it again. Also that she's not trying to hide the fact that she wants to spend more time with Loid, even if it means disappointing Yuri. Gah, I love her character development~

Yuri's reaction though 😂I like how he starts with just one tooth and then loses them all!

You know those anxiety dreams you get sometimes where you lose your teeth? Bro is literally living that for real! (but the panel on the right is actually terrifying, like something from a horror movie!)

Oh, and Yor's concerned about what to wear on their date too. She's so smitten ❤️

Hemlock finally makes a return! I know people ship him and Millie, so they must have been happy with this chapter 😅

Sharon is still the best of the three coworkers.

This part below made be kind of sad - like Yor regrets having these feelings for Loid because it doesn't fit her "role" of being in a fake family just for the sake of hiding her assassination job (also this is one of the rare times Yor is wearing different earrings).

Even though she didn't have a huge part in this chapter, I still got some chuckles from Anya's shenanigans 🤣I feel like her "Stella Pretty Guardian" thing is a reference to Sailor Moon (whose Japanese name is "Pretty Soldier/Guardian Sailor Moon")