Fatso Pandah Book Reviews

LeGuin said that The Wizard of Earthsea was meant to be a standalone when she finished it. I read it last year, with high hopes, and was a little disappointed. The book was fine, but more than anything, it felt formulaic, and that lost a lot of the magic that her books usually hold for me (most notably The Lathe of Heaven, an all time favorite). I’m really glad she wrote a second book.

Ged, or Sparrowhawk, is kind of boring, at least as a kid. He’s extremely talented, arrogant, and young. His growth is to become what he wanted anyway (a powerful wizard) while learning that power is not all that matters. Maybe less tired in 1968, but just not very interesting to me.

Tenar, or Arha, is instead kidnapped into a position of great power from age 6, and robbed of all other freedom. She’s trapped, and she is the most powerful priestess in the land, queen of a buried tomb. She orders the death of prisoners, and her closest friend is a 70 year old eunuch. And most importantly, she escapes. She learns how to be a person, and how to live outside of her premature burial site. It’s a more interesting struggle, and I think better executed.

How do I even begin? The book was devastating. The story and the framing and the world craft was so huge that on its own it would have been a delight to read, but then to have all of that work put in, not for the its own sake, but in service of the grand scifi/metaphysics reveal for the the end? It’s a masterpiece. This is my first book from Neal Stephenson, and what a book to start on. There are about 150 pages that serve to wrap up the main conflict that will devastate you, emotionally and intellectually. Devastation is the best and only word I can use for it.

This is a book that makes me want to read Pride and Prejudice. It’s not a bad book, the characters that are crafted are varied and human, the locations are well illustrated and researched, and the plot, albeit it very very slow, is good. There’s a lot to like about the book, but that is the biggest drawback. It’s too long.

If you want to read about English gentlemen restoring magic during the Napoleonic Wars, then this is the perfect book for you. If you want a lot of scholarly discussion of alternate history (it’s awesome, I’m not doing it justice) then you’ll love this. If you want Faeries and curses and long standing vendettas it’s here. But if you want a tight story without miscellenay, then this is not for you. The book wanders, and it is over 1000 pages, so it has plenty of room to do so. It is genuinely a brilliant book, but just be prepared for the sheet mass of it when you start reading.

The first truly popular book on vampires, and apparently an inspiration for Bram Stoker’s Dracula. Of course, it is much less popular now than the book that it inspired, but was still a fun read. I think the best part about it was that not knowing anything about the story other than the fact that there’s a vampire, I got to enjoy the twists more. It’s still got the same ancient, undead creature, but I think it does a better job of the terror. Also, rather than Dracula being just so incredibly into Jonathan Harker, we instead have Carmilla who is infatuated with Laura. What is it with vampires and being gay? Honestly, there’s probably some cool queer history there, but I don’t know anything about it.

Otherwise, it’s a pretty standard lesbian vampire book. Which, to me, says that modern authors really need to kick it up. I mean this is from 1872 and it still hits. Other than the language itself being antiquated this could’ve come out any time in the past 30 years. If you like, historical fantasy, or vampire stuff and you haven’t read it yet, you can’t really go wrong.

Most of the time when I read a book for children or middle grade, the books feel lesser than other books that I read. It’s not to denigrate those books, it’s just that a lot of the time they don’t seem to have the same level of thought put into them as others. And maybe that’s my fail thing, and I am confusing complexity for quality. Nonetheless, I didn’t feel that here.

I am not going to say that Coraline is extremely complex. It’s a pretty simple plot and world. It doesn’t feel less though. It feels like it has the same thought put into it, the same consideration as another book with more going on, at least on the surface. Coraline is about a little girl, who is just so terribly bored, and so lonely, because her parents who love her very much don’t have a lot of time for her. She finds a door to another world, and soon finds her self fighting for her life.

If you want a child who is both a complete person but also definitely still a kid, and you want her to solve problems because she thinks and tries doesn’t give up, not because things just work, this is a good one. I put a lot of stock in how fleshed out a character feels in terms of personality, and Caroline has plenty personality. The other members of the house are wonderful, especially Mr. Bobinsky with his rat circus, and the Other Mother is such a finely crafted demon that it’s hard not to place her next to monsters from all over myths.

I suppose sometimes it takes a while to find a groove for your writing. This is not to denigrate the previous Discworld books, but it is just to say that this is superb. Reaper Man and Guards! Guards! are both up there as well, and it just really feels that Sir Terry found his rhythm here and is just nailing it.

Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg, and Magrat are off to take care of a fairy godchild of one of their late friends, which puts them in a power struggle between the good witch of the kingdom, looking to create the perfect storytime ending no matter what, and the voodoo witch of the swamp, looking to put her city back to how it should be, warts and all. It’s classic fairy tale, and somehow also anti-authoritarianism at once. It’s about belief in oneself, and in others to be good, or at least try. About knowing when a cause is just, and when it is just revenge. There are stories that govern life, especially in books, but they must end, and you have to keep on living. I don’t know if it gets better than [SPOILER] Granny escaping the mirrors after trying to save her sister. I near about cried.

The first attempt by LeGuin to write something geared towards teenagers rather than adults. As a result, the story is much more of a fantasy adventure than her usual scifi fantasy literature. Less philosophical, more narrative. On the whole, I think it’s good, and I did enjoy it, but if you’re expecting the typical LeGuin density, you’ll be disappointed.

I really loved this book. The story follows three main characters, and their supporting cast, in early 20th century New York City. The main setpieces are the Jewish Quarter and Little Lebanon, where the Golem and the Jinni respectively reside. The Golem was created as a wife, but her master died almost immediately after waking her, so she arrives in NYC only a few days old. The Jinni has been living for a thousand year, and has spent most of those trapped in human form in a lamp by a sorceror from days of yore. The last main character, the antagonist, is a bit of a surprise, but is done extremely well. I think his great advantage is that he too is magical, but from the opposite end from our heroes: molded into magic through study, rather than born to it.

The characters are the strongest point of the story, and it is nearly impossible to not admire them as deeply human. The best fantasy always takes time to humanize monsters, and that’s almost the only thing the author works on here. There is some romance from both protagonists, but more as a lens of study then a serious look. As a result, the study shows that the Golem and the Jinni are deeply human, but also fundamentally different, from us and one another, in a way that is nearly unreconcilable. It’s fantastic.

Sometimes books are read not because they are highly esteemed, or well written, or perfectly crafted to appeal to a person, but because someone you love gives you a recommendation. This is mine, by way of my sister.

I don’t generally read romance, it’s just not what interests me. I think some of that is because it is often added to other genres in a lazy way to hopefully grab attention, which leaves a bad taste in the mouth, and some just because human interaction isn’t really my cup of tea.

The Right Swipe is a contemporary romance novel focusing on a very successful programmer/founder for a dating app, and a professional football player falling in love. There are ample complications, notably romantic baggage, conflicting business interests, and modern problems like “how do dating apps work?” and “how much can ghosting be justified?” and most importantly “how should personal rules interact with a messy reality?”

The two leads are fundamentally good people, and from the reader perspective that is really never in doubt. I think some of the tension is lost because of that, but it also means the book is fluffier than otherwise, so your mileage may vary. I had some issues with the fantasy elements (these are two excessively good and reasonable humans. I mean, almost unbelievably so) but there again, as a book for comfort it works very well. There’s also an antagonist, which I wasn’t really expecting, but it was fun, and he added to the story.

Look, I had to read this eventually. Had heard great stuff about the author, and like, baking wizardry? What else could I want from a book? Turns out, not much.

It’s a short book, so this’ll be a short review. I didn’t realize going in, but this is a middle grade novel. Not a bad thing, but I ought to check, and I figured I would give a heads-up there to whoever needs it. I had gotten it into my head to expect a more cozy pastry shoppe type thing, but that’s neither here nor there.

The book focuses on Mona, a 14-year-old bread wizard and employee of a bakery run by her aunt. She’s starts the dough one morning and finds a dead body in the kitchen, which leads her getting entwined in a plot to kill all the wizards in her city. The strongest point of the story is the characters, who are so dearly human. They aren’t the typical heroes or villains (mostly) but they are so very alive, which is reason enough for me to recommend it to anyone who wants some fluff with a little bit of (alright, by the end a fair bit of) violence.

I used to frequent a subreddit called Who Would Win, the basic premise being characters are pitted against one another in some form of contest, and commenters make arguments for who would win. One of the in jokes that developed was that Batman, with prep time, was invincible. Tongue Eater is a book solely devoted to prep time.

It’s the lull in battle, between the seige of skyhold and the final fight with the Havathi Dominion. It’s all sides shoring up support and strength and strategy until the momentum of preparing for a war inevitably pushes everyone into a fight. But not yet. Hugh and friends are preparing, even while they mourn. Alustin is doing much the same, although he gives himself less time for the latter. It’s the calm before the storm, and it was great.

That’s not to say the book lacked action or imagination. Far from it, by escaping from the overarching narrative of the fight for the future of the world, Bierce has the opportunity to show us some of the most unique and awe-inspiring environments and non-humans we’ve seen up to this point. We have the leisure of analyzing the mind of a betrayer, and magic unlike anything we started with. It’s a series of vignettes that grow the characters and their abilities, without rush. Also there’s a very cute short story attached to the end, well worth the read and by then you’ve earned some fluff.

The Broken Earth series is about a woman’s life. Being about an entire life, it naturally includes the people she loves, those who shaped her to be who she is, and the world she lives in. That world is the Stillness, and it is the end of it that world which starts the story.

The main magic of the books is from the orogenes, who can somewhat control energy displacement ie. move mountains with their minds, and the Earth being extremely geologically active, which causes the Seasons, eras of widespread death from ashfall, instability, and lack of sunlight. It’s a cool system, but as expected of a fantasy society with known magic users, they are generally seen as dangerous (true), in need of training (not without merit), and evil (usually not true). Unsurprisingly, the dominant society uses this as an excuse to keep orogenes as slaves.

The trilogy follows Essun, our main character, as she tries to survive during the worst season on record. We get flashes of perspective from other important people in her life, especially her daughter. They both make allies, and friends, and lose them during the Season as they try to save themselves and everyone around them. It’s combination heartbreaking and tense, wonderful and full of rage. It’s about the injustice of growing up too young, of living in interesting times, of the banality and the fantasy of evil, and the love of a parent changing the world to make it better for their children, even if they’re wrong.

Genre: Science Fantasy. It has elements of sci fi and fantasy, with both magic and living creatures beyond standard biology, but also gene editing and pseudoscience. Not one that I really read a lot, but it’s almost always fun.

Just as a warning since I don’t usually read horror stories, this is horror. Read at your own peril.

This book took me a while to get into. It wasn’t exactly bad, it was just so contemporary and realistic, and I found myself not really caring. It was a slow start, but once the book gets going, it’s really really good. If nothing else, the setting and descriptions are gorgeous in the way that only permafrost and forest can be. Even if you’re not a huge fan of horror, I think it might be worth reading just for that enjoyment alone.

The characters are fine. They aren’t particularly intriguing, mostly because they’re just normal guys. Eventually, once the plot gets rolling, the characters that we meet get more interesting, and the main characters also get more interesting, but on the whole, they aren’t the strongest part of the book. Teig is a bit of a coward and endlessly optimistic, Prentiss is steadfast and cynical. To be honest, I have met/interacted with enough of those people that they’re just fine if they’re on the page, nothing really special.

Finally, the plot. Man, it takes a while, but pretty soon the horror really starts kicking in. I haven’t read a ton of horror, but what this book most reminded me of, even after the supernatural elements are introduced, was Cujo. While there is the horror of the immediate threat, which I won’t spoil for you, the constant looming peril comes from the location: Siberia. Even if the characters aren’t killed by whatever is chasing them, there’s still the cold, there’s still the wind, there’s still no one around for miles. And the book does a really excellent job of establishing that fact, and keeping it always present. Not to even begin to mention the folklore that is used which was completely new to me, so it didn’t feel washed up.

Some things are perfectly crafted. This does not mean that the final product is perfect, but the construction itself is so thoughtful and heartfelt that it doesn’t matter, because the creator’s intent shines through, and you can feel that a personal conversation is being had in the form of creation. It simply is, and that is all it needs to be. The Goblin Emperor is quite nearly a perfectly crafted book.

The story focuses on a half goblin son of the emperor of an elven empire, Maia, and the chief complaint I have is that all of the other names are very long and difficult to pronounce, or just confusing, but that’s elves for you. Maia never expected to come into power, so his father, and all the heirs between himself and the throne dying via airship crash puts him in the unfortunate position of completely untrained emperor. Shenanigans, fun and otherwise, ensue.

This isn’t a fun book, although it is enjoyable. The humor in it is usually incidental, if even present, because everything takes a backseat to Maia becoming both himself and emperor. It’s a coming of age tale, and a tale of compassion, and intrusive thoughts, and peace, and acceptance. Maia is the main character, and the only POV that we get. He’s crafted so well that one can’t help but to understand him, at every turn. Not agree, but fully understand every decision and reaction he makes. Not a lot of books can do that, but because The Goblin Emperor is almost solely a character study as Maia reacts to his new world, it carries the book.

Because the book cares so much about making Maia sympathetic, it is naturally comforting. Bad things happen, but we so fully understand his perspective, and he grows to respond with such grace to his circumstances, so that it makes the audience feel warmed by the book. I felt warmed, and happy for him. There was no dwelling on unpleasantness. There was hardship and joy and failure and kindness, and all of it mattered. It was beautifully written and I cared. Happy Reading everyone.

Hi! Sorry, I haven’t posted any reviews in a while, I’ve been reading this book. It is very, very long.

For those who know nothing about this book, much like I didn’t last month, it is the first book in a very long series of high fantasy novels. Have you read Lord of the Rings? Then you know what you’re getting into. Except it’s longer.

The story introduces Rand, Mat, Perrin, Egwene, Nynaeve, Lan, Moiraine, Thom, Loial, the eternal struggle between Darkness and the Light, and a bunch of people who I have probably forgotten where are bound to be important later because again this is high fantasy.

If you like witches and knights in shining - or bloodstained - armor, teenagers being told to save the world and suffering through it, great evil monsters and global wars and high stakes and the small joys that have to be cherished to not succumb to the agony and despair of a thankless and seemingly unending quest, with possibly only the knowledge that you helped, and are going to be killed for your assistance at the end. If you like that, you’ll love this book. It’s great for that. On the other hand, my absolute favorite part of the book was either a deliberate time loop, which was spooky and awesome and suprising, or an editing error, so you can see the predicament I’m in.

One of the advantages of a friend who reads a lot of gay romance fantasy books is that he can recommend the best ones to me. One of the disadvantages is that there are a lot of “best ones”.