Book Quotes Worth A Laugh

Please note that flower-arranging class is canceled for the foreseeable future, following the incident with the chainsaw

Ha, a few. I spend so much time at a tattoo parlor in Cambridge that I should have a plaque on the chair.

“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph,” Loch hisses behind me. “You love proving me wrong, eh?”

His tension goes to suspicion. “The hell you on about?”

He gets a posture I recognize, the grip of wanting to hide art. I feel that way whenever Coal looks over my shoulder while I’m writing. Like part of your soul is laid out, and you wouldn’t mind sharing it one day, but in that moment, it hasn’t grown a protective shell yet.

I never sent you his picture— he’s a prick, but here, character study. How many googly eyes do you think it’d take to recreate those motherfucking cheekbones

Ah, hello, guilt, there’s always room for more of you.

“Dead on. We’ll be fine.”

“Was that the apology you had in mind?” I whisper up to him. “Or should I go on about how all the rainbows in Ireland point to the pot of gold in your asshole?”

“You don’t need to breathe,” Wren says. “It isn’t on the itinerary.”

“If you mess up that Eldredge knot, I will personally garrote you with it.”

“You’ll laugh.”

“Kris.” Coal leers. “Did you kiss someone from St. Patrick’s Day?”

Hex’s big eyes do a good impression of innocence despite their demonic glimmer of amusement.

You’re going to graduate from Yale in three months and you don’t know what ‘pissant’ means?

“What kind of cologne is that, boyo?”