bonnets, buttons, and padded bottoms

Even though sometimes she let you wear skirts, dresses, and even big girl pants outside.

She still wouldn't let you forget that you had a diaper on underneath

So she made sure to remind you by pulling your pants back to check you, even if there was a crowd

or asking you to lift your skirt so she could see if you needed a change yet

Or telling your friends to let her know if you've had an accident.

or theyre with their partner and the partner finishes them off to completion ignoring their partners warnings

...the first thing i've sat down and worked on that's not commissioned art in what feels like forever ...close up of something larger [ featuring a lot of swamp bats ] when finished she's going to be a 'thank you' gift to those of you both new + old who follow my art

like if it’s not skimpy, it’s skin-tight- leggings, skinny jeans, bodycon dresses, etc.

doing historical costuming has made me hyper-aware of just how “on display” my body is when I’m wearing normal modern outfits, and it affects my behavior. don’t bend over to pick things up at work because men will stare at your ass. sit differently so you don’t show stomach rolls. a guy running a pop-up stand next to my shop commented so much on how I had “great legs” that I didn’t wear leggings and skirts- one of my favorite winter outfit combinations -for the rest of the season

there’s a certain freedom in medium-to-long skirts and skirt supports, I find: the freedom to define what people see of my body. men won’t stop being creepy no matter what women wear, but I like that kind of dramatic body re-framing. you don’t get to see my legs and hips, Creepy Guys. you get to see a massive bell skirt, or a bustle, or an upended trumpet flower shape. my body is to be seen only by those I’ve chosen to trust, not the world at large

of course, empowerment is different for different women. some feel comfortable and powerful showing as much of their shape as possible, and I applaud them in doing exactly that. what pisses me off is the pressure from the fashion industry for all of us to be empowered by the same thing…a thing that just so happens to tie in with the diet industry and the cosmetics industry. it’s easier to sell the idea that you have to be hairless and smooth and thin and blemish-free when it’s all on display

Also!! I found, after some research and help of a friend, a device that attaches to the outside of a brief/pull up and will bluetooth to my phone and let me know as to when I have had an accident, this is important as I do not always know when I have had one due to my decreased sensation but also this will monitor the time that I am voiding so if it’s not just random and it happens at like similar times daily I can try to get to a bathroom before I know its supposed to happen and maybe repotty train myself and retrain my bladder!!!!

Hey guys!! So I updated my wishlist, as has been seen from the pics I am unfortunately a heavy wetter and even in my max absorbency Northshore Supremes I am waking up in a brief literally At Capacity. Some of the MegaMaxs which are max absorbency plus had been ordered for me and I want them to be my new overnight brief!! So they have been added to the top of the wishlist and are pretty high priority.

Help with these 2 items would just be absolutely amazing. I also have a PayPal if anyone is interested in just helping that way feel free to message me.

These 2 items would make things so much easier for me.

To view my wishlist here is the link!!

I see alot of people who follow me and share my posts about incontinence talking about wanting to make themselves incontinent or wanting to become a bedwetter, I saw a post just yesterday of someone sharing how they “forced themselves to be a chronic bed wetter” and I am not here to kink shame or anything like that, honestly, alot of my AB/DL followers are the ones helping me to come to terms with my own incontinence but I want yall to know, from someone who has been genuinely incontinent for 15 years what its really like!!

People will not understand. Grown ass adults who know its a medical issue will still pass judgment, Hell!! I’ve had doctors say things to me like “can’t you just try harder to make it to the bathroom” or “how does it feel to be 26 still wearing diapers” the mass majority of people will not find it cute they will be mean.

If you are in school trying to accomplish this it will probably be worse. I was wetting the bed for probably at least a year before I started to have accidents during the day pretty frequently. At home, wetting the bed, sure my family knew and they weren’t nice about it, but at least they were the only ones who knew. I had 3 accidents in a week at school once and that’s when the school nurse and assistant pricipal told my mom i had to go to the doctor before I could come back to school. My mom took me and when she informed the school that it wasnt something they could fix right this second and that my bladder was small and that this was going to continue to be an issue for me they wanted to put me in special needs classes, i cried humiliated until they compromised, I could continue regular classes but I could not come back to school without incontinence protection on and if I could not manage that on my own then I would still be put in special needs classes in my pull ups where I could be monitored and managed by “trained professionals”

Kids are relentless, when you are wearing pull ups full time at age 12 or 13 they point, they laugh they mock. I had a student one time pour a bottle of water on my pants while i was seated and when i got up to clean up and tell someone the kid shouted “look she peed her pants again” and the whole class laughed, I had even been pantsed in gym and then tormented for being the only teenager in school who “failed potty training and wore diapers to school”

Grown ups aren’t much better, they will always assume you just arent trying hard enough, I have had aunts and uncles ask me if I am just to lazy to walk to the bathroom or get out of bed.

Incontinence is honestly difficult to hide and way harder to manage, the skin irritatation, the rashes, the constant bacterial infections and UTIs even when you are cleanly about it!! I see some ABDL users that follow me saying how they take a break from their diapers for a couple hours to prevent irritation, that sounds great!! But that’s not an option when you are incontinent. There are times I pee myself in the couple minutes it takes to remove one brief, clean up and put a new one on.

There is appeal to being changed by someone? Thats because its an option, one day it might not be. When I was paralyzed not only was I completely incontinent of bowel and bladder but I couldn’t feel it. I would shit myself and not even know till me and everyone around me could smell it and then my fiance who i love dearly would have to bring me into the bathroom wherever we were and wipe the shit off my ass for me because I couldn’t do it myself and put a new diaper on me and I dont think there was a single time he did that for me that I didn’t cry because I felt so bad and felt so ashamed.

Choosing to loose your bowel control as well? I still have issues on occasion with that because my sensation is decreased from my paralysis. It smells, it doesnt matter what type of brief or odor control you are using it will smell and anyone in range of you will smell it. Also, it will haplen in your sleep, and ahit stains are hard to get out, also the combination of feces and urine in your diaper will cause even more skin break down.

It is expensive!! I don’t know about other countries or all insurances but my health insurance will only cover one type of brief, it is super thin, does not manage smell well, has no absorbency and will leak after one small accident. To order enough overnight briefs for me and enough pull ups for me to use just 3 a day (and honestly I use more) costs $210 a month, thats barely enough to last me and thats not including wipes, cream, covers, matress protectors, boosters or anything like that.

Being truely incontinent or a chronic bedwetter is way more than cute diapers and baby powder. I have dealt with it for 15 years. I was potty trained at 5 (i was a preemie with developmental problems so i took longer) and i wet the bed still till I was 7 until i was fully potty trained and then started having issues again at 11. That means in 26 years of life I have spent only 4 completely out of diapers and pull ups. Its not fun, its not sexy. It impacts how people treat you and see you, it will impact your self esteem, it will impact your sex life your job the clothes you wear!! There are so many negatives to incontinence and while its something I have unfortunately had to learn to live with, I would choose bladder control everyday over this.

like in BuzzFeed’s Women Wear Hoop Skirts For A Day While Being Exaggeratedly Bad At Doing Everything In Them video, one woman comments that she’s being “oppressed by the patriarchy.” if you’ve read anything Victorian man ever said about hoop skirts, you know that’s pretty much the exact opposite of the truth

thing is, hoop skirts evolved as liberating garment for women. before them, to achieve roughly conical skirt fullness, they had to wear many layers of petticoats (some stiffened with horsehair braid or other kinds of cord). the cage crinoline made their outfits instantly lighter and easier to move in

it also enabled skirts to get waaaaay bigger. and, as you see in the late 1860s, 1870s, and mid-late 1880s, to take on even less natural shapes. we jokingly call bustles fake butts, but trust me- nobody saw them that way. it was just skirts doing weird, exciting Skirt Things that women had tons of fun with

men, obviously, loathed the whole affair

(1864)

(1850s. gods, if only crinolines were huge enough to keep men from getting too close)

(no date given, but also, this is 100% impossible)

(also undated, but the ruffles make me think 1850s)

it was also something that women of all social classes- maids and society ladies, enslaved women and free women of color -all wore at one point or another. interesting bit of unexpected equalization there

and when bustles came in, guess what? men hated those, too

(1880s)

(probably also 1880s? the ladies are being compared to beetles and snails. in case that was unclear)

(1870s, I think? the bustle itself looks early 1870s but the tight fit of the actual gown looks later)

The reason you suck at doing things in a hoop skirt is because you’re not used to doing things in a hoop skirt.

The first time I got in a Colonial-aristocracy dress I felt like I couldn’t breathe. The construction didn’t actually allow me to raise my arms all the way over my head (yes, that’s period-accurate). We had one dresser to every two women, because the only things we could put on ourselves were our tights, shifts, and first crinoline. Someone else had to lace our corsets, slip on our extra crinolines, hold our arms to balance us while a second person actually put the dresses on us like we were dolls, and do up our shoes–which we could not put on ourselves because we needed to be able to balance when the dress went on. My entire costume was almost 40 pounds (I should mention here that many of the dresses were made entirely of upholstery fabric), and I actually did not have the biggest dress in the show.

We wore our costumes for two weeks of rehearsal, which is quite a lot in university theatre. The first night we were all in dress, most of the ladies went propless because we were holding up our skirts to try and get a feel for both balance and where our feet were in comparison to where it looked like they should be. I actually fell off the stage.

By opening night? We were square-dancing in the damn things. We had one scene where our leading man needed to whistle, but he didn’t know how and I was the only one in the cast loud enough to be heard whistling from under the stage, so I was also commando-crawling underneath him at full speed trying to match his stage position–while still in the dress. And petticoats. And corset. Someone took my shoes off for that scene so I could use my toes to propel myself and I laid on a sheet so I wouldn’t get the dress dirty, but that was it–I was going full Solid Snake in a space about 18″ high, wearing a dress that covered me from collarbones to floor and weighed as much as a five-year-old child. And it worked beautifully.

I can ride public transportation while wearing them. I can take a taxi while wearing them. I can go on rides at Disneyland while wearing them. Because I’ve practiced wearing them and twisting the rigid-but-flexible skirt bones so I can sit on them and not buffet other people with my skirts. 

They’re also – and I can’t emphasize enough how important this is – really easy to pee in.  If you’re in split-crotch drawers (which, until at least the 1890s, you were), you can take an easy promenade a few feet away from the gents and then squat down and pee in pretty much total privacy.  It gives so much freedom in travel when it’s not a problem to pee most anywhere.

People also don’t realize that corsets themselves were a HUGE HUGE IMPROVEMENT over previous support-garment styles – and if you have large breasts that don’t naturally float freely above your ribcage (which some people’s do! but it’s not that common), corsets are often an improvement over modern bras.

They hold up the breasts from underneath, taking the weight of them off your back.  Most historical corset styles don’t have shoulder straps, so you’re not bearing the weight of your breast there, either, and you can raise your arms as far as your dress’s shoulder line allows (which is the actually restrictive bit – in my 1830s dress, literally all I can do is work in my lap, but in my 1890s dress I can paddle a kayak or draw a longbow with no trouble.  Both in a full corset).  They support your back and reduce the physical effort it takes to not slouch, helping avoid back pain.  They’re rigid enough that you don’t usually have to adjust your clothing to keep it where it belongs.  They’re flexible – if you’re having a bloaty PMS day you just … don’t lace it as tightly, and if your back muscles are sore you can lace it a little tighter.  And you can undo a cup (or, y’know, not have breast cups) to nurse a baby without losing any of the structural integrity of the garment.

I do educational/historical dressing and people are really insistent, like, “The corset was invented by a man, wasn’t it?”  “Actually, women were at the forefront of changing undergarment styles throughout the 19th century!” “But it’s true that it was invented by a man.”