Joseph Nobles

A single POV character: Hot Pie.

He'll be the modern Mushroom, narrating his life and what he saw and what he learned after the fall of the Wall at the end of Winds.

Bran speaks to Theon through the weirwoods and has him write the Pink Letter.

Edited: I should elaborate in the wake of the recent Greenwood video essay. I still think the Pink Letter comes from Bran via Theon, but:

Bran gives Theon the idea. Theon then convinces Stannis it's the best move to test Jon Snow's loyalty.

The letter has three possible responses from Jon: comply, fight, or do nothing. As a letter from Ramsey fresh from a victory over Stannis, it works well enough. Ramsey doesn't want to come to the Wall to get what he requests of Jon. He just had a terrible battle and winter is rolling in. The best way to get what he wants quickly is to provoke Jon to either comply or fight. The letter seems well cast to do this. (Theon and fArya will have to have escaped Stannis's camp during the battle and headed to the Wall for it to make complete sense.)

But it also works for Stannis fresh from a defeat of Ramsey. He sends it by raven to outrun any rumor of his victory reaching the Wall. If Jon complies, Stannis has his people returned to him from a faithless Jon Snow (plus he has Mance's kin returned to him and Mance can become Stannis's man in Winterfell if Rickon doesn't work out). If Jon does nothing, Stannis's people are safe and can be retrieved, and Jon can be completed abandoned in Stannis's future plans.

But if Jon comes raring to fight, Stannis has his best option. Jon will have forsaken his oath to the Night's Watch and can only be installed as ruler in Winterfell as Stannis wants. This is exactly what Jon does do!

Except in the confusion, he is killed by some of the Night's Watch.

We know Arya Stark will kill Raff the Sweeting in Braavos. And she was doing so well with the Faceless Men!

Before, Jaqen gave her three deaths to balance the deaths she stole from the Red God. Now Arya will be obligated to kill someone at the command of the Faceless Men, not a person of her choosing. She will be accompanied, unseen, by another Faceless Man to be sure the deed is done...

For the contract will be for Lady Stoneheart.

This will be Arya's final test to become a Faceless Man. They normally would not be sent to kill someone they know, but Arya's will has been more stubborn than most. Her companion is under orders to kill Arya should she falter.

Arya enters the tent and recognizes her mother, even in her ravaged form. She drops her disguise and Catelyn is finally stung with the horror of her life. She offers her throat to Arya.

Arya cannot. She leaves the tent and is struck down instantly. The camp is in an uproar. Arya slips down into a darkness greater than the blindness she suffered in Braavos. Her last sight is her mother standing over her, bending down...

Stannis will burn Shireen, but not in The Winds of Winter.

Stannis will take Winterfell in Winds. Davos will find Rickon and bring him there, allowing Stannis to make Rickon Warden of the North and a vassal to him as King of Westeros.

Littlefinger will seize this opportunity to join Stannis, giving him the Vale and Harrenhall. With Sansa married to Harrold Hardyng, Riverrun will switch allegiance to Stannis as well.

This would leave only the Twins as a Lannister ally in the northern kingdoms. But Stoneheart's mandate to Jaime Lannister will be to overthrow the Freys or die trying. He won't die at it.

This will leave Stannis at his greatest moment: three of the seven kingdoms fully his, the Lannisters only in true control of one and King's Landing...

The eldritch apocalypse theory is right. And it's wrong.

Euron Greyjoy is indeed attacking Oldtown to raise the old drowned gods to stomp all over Westeros. But his blood sacrifice will fail here. No gods will respond and he will be captured.

But Euron will still unleash the apocalypse.

Victarion will blow the Dragonhorn in Meereen, and the blood sacrifice will ensure Viserion is bound to Euron. Viserion will fly to Oldtown and free Euron from his cell. For his part, Euron will have learned of the horn Sam has brought to Oldtown. And he will blow THAT horn from the tower in Oldtown...

Jon Snow will remain dead until the Wall falls. He will be raised by the White Walkers, not Melisandre. He will be spared wightdom by Jon-in-Ghost warging back into his revenant body.

"In order to make the story content understandable, it would seem necessary to choose factors which are well known to the spectator. But this is a fallacy. In the very first part of this book, it was said that the primary desire which forces a person to listen to stories is the wish to partake in the lives of others or to get information about the way others live. This desire is in direct contrast to understandability based on his knowledge, because he wants to learn things which he does not know.

"This apparent dilemma has led to much confusion among producers. In order to satisfy understandability, they would make pictures about average people and, more or less, average events. Although the audiences understood these pictures, they were not interested in them, because they wanted information about things which they did not know. It seemed that the audience preferred to see emperors, adventurers, exotic people, or freaks on the screen rather than to see themselves portrayed. If a producer then went to the other extreme, he found very often that outstanding personalities or extraordinary events were beyond the reach of the average audience; they could not be understood and therefore were not successful.

"To illustrate this confounding difficulty, we need only think of a classic picture like The Bicycle Thief (1947), which was a success everywhere except in its country of origin, Italy, where the events were too familiar, and its neo-realism too close to home.

"The solution for this problem is not simple: the audience wants to learn new and interesting facts that should contain the measures and values which are universal knowledge. Few people are in a position to evaluate and understand the conflicting diagnoses of two brain surgeons. But everyone will be able to understand exuberance or fear. Few people will be able to evaluate an investment banker's decision in a stock issue. But everyone will be able to understand the conflicts resulting from a gangster's violation of law and justice, because the law is universal and all people are subject to it.

"Therefore the problem must be solved by giving new information which can be measured and evaluated on the basis of universal knowledge. And the most universal knowledge among all human beings is the experience of emotions."

TAKE ONE DRINK...

Whenever the Dude takes a hit off a jay.

Whenever Walter digresses to Vietnam.

Whenever anything unnatural happens to a bowling ball. (Discussions of natural and unnatural uses of bowling balls are encouraged)

Whenever a car suffers damage. (A drink for every stroke is not recommended)

Whenever the Dude has an otherworldly vision. (Discussion of worldly and otherworldly visions are encouraged)

Whenever toes feature prominently in the shot.

  FINISH YOUR DRINK:

When a large black man makes a 6-10 split.

Whenever a bowling ball is rolled and returned in the same shot.

When the Dude finally soils Jackie Treehorn’s rug.

  SPECIAL RULE: