soy lago

They’re hanging around in Liam’s apartment right now, him and Isack. The Frenchman currently sprawled across Liam’s legs. They’re not really hanging out as much as enjoying each other's space. The few hours they get together that aren’t before and after races are usually when they’re both sick of the world. So they’ll just lay together for a bit some days. A movie is playing in french on the TV, Isack fully invested. Liam is scrolling his phone. Absorbed in random instagram nonsense. All in all, they’re looking at a lovely evening. 

It’s the notification, accompanied by the smiling picture of Arvid’s face, that pulls Liam out of the cozy little bubble. He clicks on it without thinking too much. He’s met with a selfie taken in the mirror, the British boy shining with that post-workout sweat. Arvid is waving at the camera, and has gracefully captioned the picture with the message: “What’re you doing?” 

Liam doesn’t know why it makes him blush, and he really doesn’t wanna think about it. He just texts back.

RacingBros (vry funny arvid.) 10:03 pm Liam: Hanging w/ Isack. You’re up late. Arvid: Bored. Got some energy out. You having a fun time 😏 Liam: Get your mind out of the gutter Mate. Arvid: Mb mb. Life is hella boring between races Liam: Aren’t you an influencer or smth. Just film. Admin would love u. Arvid: I meant boring without you. Holy airball

Liam hesitates at that. He looks down at Isack. His boyfriend looks back and just grins towards him. It’s just a casual conversation. Nothing more. 

Liam: Most teammates enjoy a break from each other. Arvid: This is supposed to be the part where you say you miss me too Liam: I miss you too. Arvid: :D ✨💕 Liam: Go tf to bed.  Arvid: But ur so much more interesting. Also I’m sweaty and gross so no Liam: I’m literally with my boyfriend. Arvid: So?

Liam puts the phone down after that because his heart is going way too fast. This isn’t right. This isn’t good boyfriend behavior. He’s being Awful. This is wrong. 

“Liam? You okay?” Isack hums, and Liam just nods. He loves Isack. He does. Truly, he does. Nothing had ever made that waver. When Liam talks to anyone else- to Arvid- he never felt like he was losing his affection to Isack.  

“Do you want a hug?” Isack continues, and Liam nods again. Getting wrapped up in Isack’s strong arms and feeling a thousand times better about it for a while. “I’m here, if you want to talk.”

Liam doesn’t even know where to start. So he just whispers “I love you” and snuggles in closer to him. Maybe, if he just stays close enough to Isack everything else will melt away. 

He tries to leave it there. He really does. He suppresses notifications from Arvid on his phone, but he still checks their messages every hour practically. He takes Isack out more, but he finds himself staring at Arvid in the paddock. Liam’s not a religious man, but he feels like he should go confess his sins. Maybe that's all that could save him.

Isack doesn’t seem to notice Liam’s turmoil, and if Arvid does he doesn’t say anything. Instead, Liam feels like the ball of a padel game. Being knocked between the two and neither of them realizing that he’s being a vile asshole. Is he leading Isack on? Is Arvid leading him on? Is he reading too much into things? It’s all a mess, and it’s most certainly his own fault.

Things boil over when he’s hanging out with Arvid in the younger’s hotel before a race, sharing a meal and just trying to chill before the race. Except Arvid doesn’t let Liam have any peace. 

“You know, it’s fun how so many of us on the grid are like, queer. But other than you and Isack nobody's normal about it,” Arvid ponders aloud, looking at Liam with too much intention. 

“What do you mean?” Liam- rather stupidly- asks. 

Arvid just snorts. “I mean, you’ve got whatever the hell happened with Nico and Lewis. There’s the whole will they, won’t they thing with Charles and Max. Don’t even get me started about how Pierre, Yuki, and Esteban are in the world's most dysfunctional polycule. Except I think they just say that any two of them are dating + a third. Changes on the week, I think they got fixed up now that Yuki isn’t competing.” 

It’s a wild onslaught of information. Liam likes to think he’s up to date on grid relationship politics- he knew the Max thing- but this is more than he was aware of. “I thought Yuki and Pierre were dating?”

“Three way street,” Arvid shrugs. “I mean, what do I know? New guy on the block and all. Just what I’ve heard from Ollie and such.” 

“Yeah, you prema boys are always messing around with things.” Liam jokes forcefully, flicking a crumb on the table at Arvid in his bid to lighten the conversation for himself. “Why’re you bringing this up?” 

“Just thought you might be interested, Liam.” Arvid shrugs. 

That makes his head spin more. Why would Arvid think that? Maybe he is being obvious. Everyone knows that Liam is a cheating bastard and should be slung out and shamed by the town. He just goes down an awful rabbit hole. Too many google searches and dumb ass quizzes that remind him of when he was a teenage boy figuring out he was gay. It’s miserable, and Liam doesn’t make himself feel better by the end. 

Maybe he is polyamorous, or maybe he’s trying to rationalize how awful he’s being. It’s just complicated, and he needs to stop. He hates himself for enjoying Arvid’s smile as much as Isack’s laugh. For wanting Arvid to keep hugging him when it’s not necessary. For wanting the best of both worlds. He doesn’t sleep well the night after the whole debacle, and his race performance reflects it. 

Isack starts to notice after that, Liam is more than aware. He’s shying away from both of them, because pushing it all away is easier than dealing with it. Isack isn’t satisfied with that though. 

“You’re being weird,” Isack tells him one night. They’re out to dinner, in a quiet corner of a slow restaurant. Liam hasn’t touched his food. “Something is wrong, and worse you are not telling me. Did I do something?”

“No!” Liam huffs quickly, “It’s not you Isack. You’re perfect.” 

Unfortunately, that doesn’t seem to fix a thing. “If it’s not me then what? You know I love you, Liam, and you love me. So why can you not tell me? We’re together in this.”

“I can’t- because we’re together in this,” he whispers. Suddenly, his eyes are getting damp and his throat is getting tight. “I’m messing everything up, and I really don’t wanna.” 

“I don’t see anything messed up.” God, Isack sounds so sincere, and it hurts. Liam is genuinely the Worst. 

Liam takes a breath, and reaches out to take Isack’s gracious hands. “I love you. So much. Best thing to happen since I joined the Redbull program. I promise I do… nothing can change that. I want to be good to you. I wanted to do good by you.” He grits out, shaking his head when Isack tries to interject. “Don’t say I do. Because I’m not. I’m.. I’m letting my eyes wander and I’m entertaining someone else’s advances- or maybe I’m so messed up that I’m just pretending that’s what they are. I swear I don’t love you any less but- I think I’m cheating on you?” 

That makes Isack still for a moment. Liam closes his eyes and waits for the other man to pull away. Isack never does though. Liam’s hands are pulled up gently, and his knuckles are kissed. “You think?” Isack snorts, shaking his head a little. “If you were as awful as you’re making yourself sound, I don’t think you’d tell me.” That makes Liam look up. “I am not stupid, chérie. If you think I have not noticed all of this, then you are insulting my intelligence.” 

“Then why haven’t you gotten rid of me yet?” Liam hiccups, trying to wipe his tears. 

“Have you thought that perhaps it is not a deal breaker? I think we are very secure in our relationship. I think you are happy with me, and happy with him. I want you to be the Most Happy. That could mean both of us. I do not mind so much, hmm?” Isack tugs on Liam’s hands until he gets the memo. Walks around the booth to sit next to Isack and hugs him. “You are my Boyfriend. I want you to be happy. He’s cute, non?”

Liam can’t help but giggle. “He’s cute.” 

“He makes you blush, so we have something in common.” Isack continues. “I think you get all up in your head instead of telling me things. And I don’t like it.” 

“I’m sorry.” Liam sighs. They sit together for a while, and it makes Liam settle. Happy and warm together.

Isack doesn’t hesitate though. “So, should we call him?”