BODY PEACE

Let’s face it. The last thing you want to do when you’re feeling crummy is to feel better. Sounds counterintuitive, I know. But, consider your past conversations with others during a time when you were distressed. On their end, they want to make you feel better, so they try to solve your problem, get you to consider the positives, and appeal to your better self. You? You’re not having any of it. You want them to understand and validate your experience, even if it’s a little ridiculous. You don’t want to hear, “Hey, people have it worse than you. There are people starving,” even though you know it’s true. You want someone to recognize that you’re struggling and that that, in itself, warrants attention. 

What if talking to someone actually backfires, and you’re left feeling worse than before? What can you do if you’re not getting the reassurance you’re looking for? 

This is where you come in. Positive interrogation. You are your own compassionate, best friend. Having a good support system is important, but when you’re all you’ve got, ask these questions to arrive at a healthier head space.

What are you looking forward to this week? This doesn’t need to be some big event like a party or a sky-diving experience. It could be something simple like going to the farmer’s market and buying fresh berries or meeting a friend for brunch. Happiness is not about the extravagant, Facebook-worthy events. I’d argue that it’s a lot more discrete. 

What are three things you’re grateful for? Studies have shown that people who express gratitude are, in general, happier folk. While some might say the opposite of gratitude is thanklessness, I say it’s comparison. When you compare your life or self to others who have it better than you, there’s no way you’re going to feel good about where you are now. Expressing gratitude gives you the opportunity to fully embrace your experience and to accept that it’s enough. 

What are you struggling with right now? What is one small action you can take to address the hardship? You might think you’re struggling with all that’s on your plate, but at the heart of it? You never feel like you’re doing enough. Get honest with yourself, and dig deep. When you know what you’re actually struggling with, you can take concrete steps to move forward. 

What progress have you made over the past six months? What small victories can you be proud of? Sure, you might have ambitious goals to achieve, but when you let them overshadow the progress that’s already been made, you do yourself a disservice. Small changes lead to transformation. Be proud of what you’ve done so far! 

Turn off the lights. Close the door. Light a candle if you have one. 

Leave your phone in another room. Silence it. Minimize or exit out of all your Internet tabs. Either go on 8tracks and search for a good, relaxing playlist or try this Ocean Meditation Music and/or Chill playlist I’ve been loving these days. 

Now, lay a blanket or yoga mat out on the floor. Align your body at the center. Take a DEEP breath in through your nose, and exhale with a loud sigh out through your mouth. Reach your hands above your head, and stretch out like you’re trying to grab the wall. Point your feet out at the same time, and stretch them towards the opposite wall. Hold this pose for 5-7 seconds, then release all at once as if your body’s just snapped back like a rubber band. Stay in this stillness for 15-20 seconds. 

Place your hands on your torso. One on your stomach, the other on your heart. See if you can feel your heart beating. Notice how your diaphragm rises and falls. Focus on this momentarily as you take deep, long breaths. You might be worried about a deadline (or multiple deadlines), concerned about all the errands you need to run, or stressed out about all the things you “should” do, but for this moment, focus on your breath. Inhale slowly, then exhale slowly and count one. Take another breath in. Count two as you exhale. Continue this until you’re on your fourth exhale. Then start over. Your mind will want to wander, but bring it back to the counting. If you don’t like the counting, focus on the rise and fall of your chest or the music as it fills the room. The important thing is that you allow yourself to experience the present moment as it is. 

Even if your mind wanders, don’t get agitated with yourself. It will wander. You will find yourself thinking about past events or future concerns. Gently bring yourself back to your breath and body. 

How long should you continue this exercise? That’s entirely up to you. I like to do anywhere between 7 - 30 minutes. Why 7? Well, the first few minutes are usually a struggle, especially when I’m super tense and stressed out. You’ll want to quit, but give yourself the chance to adjust to the stillness.