Bobby's secret world

Then one day a new comic is written and in it the hero falls in love with a same-sex character. The so-called fans outrage and demand explanation from the writers. These fans say it can’t be so, since the hero has been heterosexual all along. Never once did they notice a sign of “gayness”. The writers are irreducible about it.

There must be an explanation, the fans conclude. Maybe that super villain cast a spell on the hero. Or maybe it’s just during this comic, for attention. Maybe that one time when the hero was a kid and that weird-looking person walked by, something changed, some nasty process was triggered.

Now imagine this is actually not about a comic book hero, but rather about a teenager, and the fans are actually people with whom this teenager lives since birth. This potential hero who, on coming out, finds out all those fans’ opinions - not on a website, comments section or what, but in their house: coming from across the table; coming from behind the closed door.

Hello Mateus. Are you Brazilian? Porque eu sou, e falo português, se preferir :P (imagino que seja, pelo nome e pelo "dividido" no meio do texto... pero talvez tu hablas español? No sé hablar mucho así)I'll answer in English this time. As I have said to a few friends before you, there are a lot of things to consider in your situation, like:

how much can you be sure of your family's homophobia or acceptance?

how old are you?

how much is keeping this secret a burden to you?

The first one is because sometimes we get the wrong impression from our relatives as to what would they accept or not - they're religious, but that doesn't always mean they have a prejudice against gay people.

If you watch their behavior when facing the subject of homosexuality, you might know more. I guess you have already, but you didn't mention in your ask, so tell me later.

In case they are, in fact, homophobic, it's best not to tell them while you're still living with them. Which brings us to the second question: how old are you - and how far are you from being independent from your family?

If you are young and they happen to be the prejudice-religious kind of people, don't feel bad for not telling them your sexuality. It's not your obligation to do so, and you should only do it if you feel safe enough. Otherwise you might end in situations like Bobby, where his family kept trying to "pray away the gay" and no good came out of it.

As to the third question, you mentioned some of your friends already know it - that's good, it shows you were brave enough to face the subject. And you don't feel bad for being born this way, which is great :)

You say you feel divided and sad for not telling your family, but it seems at least you got some support from your friends, which is essential now. So consider the first two questions before deciding whether or not you will tell them.

You gotta think of your own needs too, and those include shelter and stability (to study, have fun, work, whatever). If it still bothers you, and if you decide to tell them, that's another story, and you might search for help by asking me here again, asking some friends, some professional help (like a school counselor), or relatives in which you can trust.

If by "this" you mean "not being straight", then why do you tell yourself that? I assure you there's nothing wrong with that, and you certainly know more people like us (at least famous people, if you just search the internet, but I'm sure many adults and teenagers around you are LGBT), and they can be happy too. As you said, it can't be changed, so don't pressure yourself like this.

It is up to the others (your family, your community) to realise that being homosexual is ok and no one can be judged on that. If you fear your family's reaction so much, and believe they have prejudice like that, then don't tell them yet. Tell someone you trust and might understand the subject.