Lost At Sea

I WANT TO

Man, mental illness has held me back for so long, really stunted my growth as an adult. So much time spent in therapy trying to make sense of my memories and get control over my emotions. Sifting trough medications, multiple at a time. Losing years worth of sleep and just trying to stay awake for a few hours a day. I wish I would’ve picked up this momentum 5 years ago. All I can do now is focus on my younger sister’s mental well-being and help her to work past the trauma. She needs an outlet to effectively purge her thoughts and anxiety. She’s researched a couple alternative forms of therapy. Brainspotting and something called EMDR I think? Now she has the task of convincing our parents that our mom’s father should be covering the cost of any treatment she seeks in her healing journey. If he is not going to pay serving a lengthy jail sentence then why not monetarily. It’s been 10 years since the trial and she has yet to receive adequate restitution. If she and I can keep her out of a deep depression this senior year then she will make it into a good college. She needs to beat her demons and stay strong just a little bit longer. I believe once she’s out of the family’s house she can start over at life. I can’t wait to be there for her when she does.

I wanted to update this and add that my little sister listened to the advice of her siblings and took the college placement tests, even though she was nervous. She's received her first acceptance letter from one of her preferred universities! I'm so happy that she is willing to put in the effort it takes to make herself happy.