Blogger of 1,000 Dreams, once again here. Departure, arrival, the clouds in which were soared. But, let's describe it first. To anyone still out there, who has waited in the shadows, this is a wall of emotion. You're free to skip over.
Bo1d was a pivotal point in my psyche. A place of comfort. A place of contentment. A place where I could let my mind, no matter how dark or distorted, be free. I could swear, curse, and let loose the atrocities that plagued my mind. Things that yelled at me, things I wanted to yell back at. It was a freedom on an open span of anonymity. Here I am, once more, maybe the actual last, to reconcile. Peace, if such a thing exists.
"Is there a future for someone like me? Will I still exist in a world like this? Is it painful? Is it sad? Not even knowing myself. I'm just tired of walking, I dont even understand people."
In life, no matter what's happened, I've always been my own biggest downside. I always see the worst. Plan for it, and wait for it. Endurance and the Long Game, it seems to be my specialty. But, I've suffered severe casualties.
I've grown, I've matured. Ive done so much since I've been here. Yet I've... reached my mental capacity. It's been said before, and rang true. I'm at it again. Once more, music answers the words I had no hope of speaking.
Even in the best of times, my existence has been painful. Ignorable, back of the mind, brushed off pain. But painful. Now, with my position... My choices moving forward will be cataclysmic. There are people willing to help, I know. But. I cant. I cant. I
It should be no surprise. As I'm writing this, I'm hand-fed a Glimmer of hope. A potential outlet. I'm at the precipice of my minds final endeavour, ravenously, voraciously, glaring down below to my Ultimum. Theres been no cleaner, carefree, mind opening path than the choice I've driven off for nearly 6,000 days. In fact, June 11th will be the 6,000th day. Basically 5 months from now... If my math is right.
Dearest Glimmer, your intentions are unclear. Your motives are unknown. Your thoughts are kind. But. Even if the distraction is only for a moment, perhaps that's all I needed.
Ladies, Gentlemen, Denziens and Degenerates, and all else who have been, or shall be.
It's few and far between, its supportive and critical, but before writing this... I see old messages, set idle and forgotten. I see conversations of encouragement and solace. Never have I asked, nor will I, for such things from others. From one unknown to another, to be that... That... Indescribably good natured.. Its one of my Golden Rules because of you all.
It's been nearly broken, time and time again. To the brink of now. ... The pinnacle of my self torment.
But I'll try, just one more day. What's one more day to an Eternity of afterlife?
theartofmadeline
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
yousharknotpass
areudirty
prguitarman
discoholicmusic
stormborns
ellievsbear
