blusht🎯y

My gf loves playing with my dick in bed because it's "like a little fidget toy"

Normal sized fidget toy

memory play where the hypnotist also forgets. no one knows anything

"riding my biggest dildo imagining it's you" ok i ah. hm. i don't quite know how to say this but. perhaps instead consider a thimble

thats right folks. my peonis? cold and made of metal as fuuuuuck

did u know that u can let beautiful women use u as a dress up doll and it’s great

it’s fun to be a dress up doll!! try it !!!

Ordered the TEMU bottom surgery and now I got a USB down there!! They dongled my thang!!

absentmindedly groping a girls boobs while you watch a show, not because you're turned on, but because her huge jiggly tits are just such a good stim toy

Fuuuuck dude I got drunk last night and tried to take down the villain on my own and now he’s texting me some ‘I’m the only one allowed to defeat you’ shit bro what do I do

Man he just yelled ‘I want him alive’ to his goons, it’s so over.

You're such a sick little freak (I adore you)

sorry for giggling so much while you're trying to fuck me i'm just excited

Oh, you need a new subwoofer? Sure thing I’ll be right over

Sometimes you need to decide for that girl that she's better off as a dog.

@funnier-as-a-system