My life

As I start 2015, I look back at 2014 with a lot of things i should have done better. I have never regretted anything in my life except one thing last year. As I enter 2015 I hope to be a better man, boyfriend, father, and brother. I pray that i am a better christian and do more christian things. I have grown since last year. I have learned to be more open with my feelings. I have actually got rid of my pride issues. I remember when i would rather suffer than receive help from anyone. I know now that I have been put through things which have shaped me into the man that I am today. I still have work to do, but I feel I am on the right path. My mindset about a lot of things have changed and it has changed for the best. I will continue to not look back in my past. I only look forward. Forward is where I am heading!!! I hope everyone is safe in 2015 and live your lives as joyful as possible

Merry Christmas mom. I really hate spending this day without you. I wish I could tell you to your face and listen to you smile again. That would make me smile. I am trying not to be sad today cause I have my own family that still has to enjoy today, but it's really hard on me. I really don't even wanna celebrate my bday any more cause I always got a call from you. You would always tell me that I was born by now. ☺. Thanks for doing everything you did for us. Merry Christmas mom

I have learnt (learned lol) one thing about life. The hand we are dealt are cards that can't be returned to the dealer. We have to either play on the hand we are dealt or find a corner and fold. I for one will not only play the cards um given but I will raise you. See...... I see the glass half full. If I am building a 3 mile road and only completed 1 mile then I don't say damn I got 2 left. I will say I have completed 1 mile and its ppl that have folded their cards that were dealt so let's get the next mile. I celebrate victories on a daily basis. Being negative has done nothing but brought more negative feelings. I prefer to be a positive soul.

I wish I could tell you to your face that I miss you, I got the bad news when I was actually on the way to Jackson to kiss you, I felt for the first time my heart skipped a beat now its my issue, It still hurts to this day knowing you are gone from me, I wanted to tell you I will make you proud just you see, I dont understand what in the hell took place, That you woke up feeling bad in that nursing home space, How can you get pneumonia when your room was supposed to be your home base, You were taken faster than the speed of light, Lord knows this feeling I feel I can not fight, Why you.......why did it have to be my mom, The news hit me like massive nuclear bomb, I begged and pleaded that this was only a dream, I got so mad cause this act was really very mean, I still don't understand why it ended this way, If you lost your mom the way I did, Then you wouldn't have much to say, I would give anything just to have her back with me, She left before I got to say bye and don't forget me, These are my feelings that I chose to share, No other pain will never ever compare, I miss you mom

This is a pic i took of a flower that closes up every night and blooms every morning. This flower signifies a new beginning each day. Whatever happened yesterday there is nothing you can do about it today. Just do better today than you did yesterday! #photography #flower #goodmeaning #beauty #elegant #saturday #NeverGiveUp #raindrops #WaterOnFlower #nature #natural #photographer #lavendar #8MegaPixelCamera

I have been reading my bible now for a few days now and I must say that I have gotten so much knowledge and peace of mind for reading it. I have learned the reason for the first plagues. Its amazing the feeling that I get from the word. We all find our way in life and take our walk with God at different times. I must say it's funny where I started my walk! I found God in a bathroom! There was a book that told the life of a man that died and was judged by God himself. He had no relationship with the lord and was sentenced to the lake of fire! I am not without sin but I do know the lake of fire is not how I want to spend all time! From that day forth I took a great waiting for God's word and his love. This may sound cliche but ever since that day I have heard his voice through the holy spirit. I read his word for what it says without adding my own meaning! I love you Lord and thank you for all you have done.

Through tough times all men need a good woman on their side. I consider myself very lucky cause I was blessed to have a great woman. She has never left my side. To be loved so hard makes me feel so good. I am glad my mom got to meet here. I plan on growing old with her. It just feels so good to not have the urge to cheat. I have everything I could ever need. Thank you Dana for loving me the way you do!

The pain of losing my mom is the worst thing ever. I miss you so much and feel abandoned. I know um not but that is my feeling. I cant help but to ask why. I am filled with anger sadness and pain. I keep telling myself that God makes no mistakes. I have no comfort in that phrase. I just want to hold you again and i will never get to again. I keep thinking how happy i was to see you. I was too happy on the 1st of march only to find out you left my side. I felt like my heart was torn out. I love you so much mom. I will never forget you and i am so proud of you for loving the lord the way you do. I cant help to feel anger mom. Ask God to help me please mom!

I have had one of the worst end of the years that I can imagine. Everything that could have happen did happen. But regardless of what happened my faith remained strong. I am a survivor and I will never give up. Life happens and its up to us to not give up. I know exactly what my next tats are going to be. The first will be my youngest daughter’s name on my right side of my chest. The next will be the phrase NEVER GIVE UP. It has a meaning which is symbolic of these tough year

I woke up today with a dream about me playing football. I was really sad when I woke up and there were no pads in my life.  Football was an escape from a hard life. A life of struggle, confusion, anger, and conflict. Football was the one thing that completely took my mind off everything. I have a new football in my life now.  It’s called my family. I have a lot to thankful for but my family is what I am most proud of. I pray I keep this family. They make me happy!

I am going through a change in this life. I have to become a better man for God and for my family. I will give up things in order to make that happen.  It was a feeling that i woke up with. An ideal of becoming better a little at a time. If i can win all of the little battles then the major ones will not be as hard. That is the basic ideal behind this. I have done wrong in this life just as all people and i want to make it right. I will meditate on my sins and repent for forgivness. I know that God will hear my message because he is all knowing and loves me even through my wrong doings. I hate that i made him sad. Lord, I love you so much and i am sorry! Help me please!

I am attracted to you because of how u walk. I see you walking from a distance and all i see is an angel gliding on the soft air. You walk with a confidence any human can never own. Your walk is powerful enough to part the oceans. I am atrracted to you soft sweet voice. Your voice is sweet as an orgnized melody. I hear you voice and my heart begins to beat faster. Your voice can make a dead man rise and make a dead seed bloom into a beautiful flower. I am attracted to your thoughful mind. Your mind has the equations that can put a broken heart back together. Your mind thinks in ways that i never could. I love the way you look at life. Its through your mind i see the way the world should be. I am attracted to your spirit. You have a fighting spirit. Your spirit is stong spirit. You have a free spirit that is free from and norms that have been set by man. THIS IS WHY I LOVE YOU

Today is my oldest daughter's birthday. My princess just turned 4 today. Seems just life it was yesterday when she was born now she is 4. Daddy loves you so much Jaidyn Pedyfoot

My girls bond is something that will not be broken. I will die to make sure of that. They will be close just like me and my brothers.

These lil girls are the reason this day has meaning to me. Thank you my girls. #TeamJaidyn&Jessica

My princess is picture perfect. i love this lil girl