meow

Dunk having reached adulthood with the belief that because he is large, his role is to protect and to comfort, not to be protected or comforted, that he can and should withstand cruel words and cruel people because he has to live up to what his body symbolizes: a wall, a bulwark, impenetrable. He must be gentle to others—he must, because he is in possession of power that can hurt others so easily—but to never expect the same in return and that is how it simply is. There are good people in the world, plenty of good people, but good does not necessarily mean nice, certainly not to him, and he can be frustratingly stupid at times so the insults aren’t not warranted, and he has made peace with it because even if he disliked them, what can he do? Pummel them? Prove them wrong? He is meant to endure, just as he has endured everything else.

And he meets Baelor, who sees that patience, that gentleness, that kindness, that perserverance, that self-denial of his own feelings and feels commiseration. As firstborn he was raised in the footsteps of his father, and then again as the third steward (and role model) of his younger brothers as they came along. Baelor the big brother. Baelor the heir. Baelor the responsible, calm, gallant son. A natural leader. A provider.

Yet with all of those pressures and expectations, Baelor felt loved. He was granted everything he needed to succeed and space to indulge in some private pursuits. Perhaps he could have done with more instances of being allowed to be needing than needed, but such was life.

And as he comes to know Dunk that instinct of his that he knows not whether was inborn or shaped by circumstance alights like a candle. The desire to grant and to minister, to behold and embolden. He sees beneath all of Dunk’s working class self-sufficience a deprivation that Dunk still continues to perpetuate for himself. It is a distinct lack, not for absence of funds, but the belief that said lack is what he is owed.

Baelor has seen the different shapes of lack within his brothers, the small ways their parents have overlooked them from time to time, and so out of fraternal duty he filled them where he could—with Aerys, comprehension; with Rhaegel, steadiness; with Maekar, acknowledgment. And within Dunk it is.. hunger: to be understood; to have enough; to stretch and not feel the knock of the walls or ceiling or the worrying strain of fabric; to have his efforts appreciated; to be treated as someone with feelings that can very much be hurt; to be wanted, wantable.

Two men who have lived their lives assuming roles far greater than what could be endured by any old ordinary. They have succeeded through the hardships and trials, their environments primed to corrupt them but failing to do so (the violence of poverty versus the soul-killing of wealth). They are indeed exceptional in their own ways. And yet Baelor naturally has more, far more. And the man he is sees the man that Dunk is and he wishes to hold his hand out to this large lad and clasp him and say “You deserve rest. You deserve to be thought of. You deserve to be tended to as you tend to others.’

Baelor’s paternalistic streak itches around Dunk. A young man with a good head on his shoulders who is in turn deserving of good things. Who refuses Baelor’s generosity of heart and wallet upon initial, second, and third offer because no that’s not for him. No he doesn’t need that, thank you. No, since it is offered he must decline because it cannot be given, he cannot receive because it would mean he is being minded, and he is grown and he has always been grown ever since he was young and the grown don’t need minding because that is not their function or form.

So it takes months, the soft part of several years, to converge on the shared truth that to love means you allow yourself moments to be cared for regardless if you can do all that someone is doing for you for yourself, or not. It is not a question as to whether you would be able to do it yourself and save someone else the trouble, the burden of the act of service, the act of uplifting and nourishing and sustaining. Love is a cherished burden.

We all know this was Rhae’s doing….

Yet another little addition to the growing world of this modern au.

~~~~

His legs wobbled as he stood, hands instantly reaching out for the bars on either side of him. Even with the firm hold Duncan had on the gait belt around his waist, he felt unsteady. It was humiliating, swaying as if he were some newborn struggling to get his legs on the same page.

“Breathe.” Duncan’s voice was soft, steadying in a way that had no right to be.

Baelor eased his grip on the bars, knuckles slowly regaining a bit of their color. He allowed himself two long, deep breaths, before shifting his weight, dragging his right leg forward by only an inch though it felt miles away. Pain flared through his pelvis, radiating into his hip and down his leg, sharp enough to make his knee buckle. The sudden pull of the belt dug painfully into his side.

“Gods damnit.” Baelor hissed, teeth clenching together.

“I got you.” Duncan stepped in closer behind him, one hand gently resting on his shoulder.

“I can’t… fucking….”

“Yes you can. Breathe, take a moment. What hurts the most?”

Like no one dies and they all go back to Kingslanding to have a ‘family chat’ about Ashford.

Baelor isn’t leaving his new man behind and Maekar knows that the only way to keep Aegon in eyesight is to have the Lunk come with them.

They enter the Red Keep and after hearing from Dunk the King has him have free rein while he and the Queen spend the next three days grilling the fuck out of the rest of the family. Including Egg.

He only has to stay the first day and half of the second but by then it’s too late.

Because while Aegon has been forced into his Grandparents Solar Dunk had nothing to do but train, he had help from other members of the guard. Who gave him subtle thanks for knocking Aerion down a peg or two.

But he also gained a little shadow in the form of Matarys. The young princling is in awe of this giant man who is a true knight. Just like the ones his father used to tell him stories about. He saved a maiden from his mean cousin and even won a trial of the sevens!

He must be the greatest Knight since his great-great Uncle Prince Aemon!

Matarys is a little pudgy and has always preferred poetry to swordplay. Something his father never shamed him about.

But he does feel embarrassed how the second son of the mighty hammer is more likely to shy away from a sword than pick one up.

However now he’s more than intrigued; especially after learning more about being a Hedge Knight from Ser Duncan.

Maybe they could travel across the land. With Matarys as his bard. Singing great songs of his accomplishments.

Duncan doesn’t laugh at him when he says this but does caution that he’d still need to at least know how to use a bow and short sword for there journeying to keep him safe.

And maybe save a few damsels himself. The knight has joked making Matarys turn as red as parts of his hair.

So imagine Baelors surprise to see his sweet little Matarys asking Valarr to teach him how to use a bow.

Aegon on the other hand is as furious as a wet cat over this new development. Now HIS SER is helping his cousin with his sword work and teaching him how to darn old cloth. Something he should only be teaching HIM!

The longer it goes on the angrier Aegon gets until he and Matarys have a straight up fight. (Tho less of a fight on Matarys end)

Duncan breaks them up and they are sent to the Maesters before being taken to the Hands solar.

After a lot of screaming the truth of what has been happening comes out. Aegon threatens Matarys that he isn’t allowed to be Ser Duncan’s squire or he’ll stick him (Maekar smacks him over the head for this)

In a rare display of bravery Matarys says that he will still see Ser Duncan and he is going to be his bard. Travelling the land together.

Aegon stops, is quiet for a moment and then nods. Matarys can be Ser Duncan’s bard but Aegon will be his squire. An agreement has been reached.

Except Baelor didn’t agree to this. No you’re not traipsing through the land with Ser Duncan. It doesn’t matter if Aegon wants to. Aegon has his own fath- Well yes I agreed with Aegon but that doesn’t mean- Wait where are you going! Your grandfather is busy!!