Title 1, GO

My clinic has a few different office locations. One is 10minutes away, and all the others are at least an hour away. The close location is getting their sonogram machines serviced/replaced/idk and they want me to go to one of the other locations for monitoring. Problem is those locations, which are each an hour away, are incredibly inconvenient since I also have to take the kids to camp in the morning.

I was on the phone with them yesterday to discuss this issue, but then the clock ticked past closing time and the phone automatically took me off hold and into their automatic messaging system. I couldn't get back in touch with the person I was talking to. They went ahead and scheduled me at one of the further locations without telling me.

This morning I received a call asking why I missed my appointment at X location. When I called back and said that I was very consistent in saying I cannot go to one of the other locations, they said that if we can't do monitoring today, we must cancel the IUI cycle.

We're planning a party for him and his friends at the local pool, but despite the obvious pool theme he wants the theme of it to be a specific monster truck show. It's hard to find that brand of party supplies but we'll do our best.

Clinic has told me to inject Ovidrel Saturday night (tomorrow) and be intimate with hubby. IUI is on Monday!

Unfortunately I can't go to the mikvah until Sunday night 🫠 I asked a Rabbi and he said he can't give me a heter to go a day early.

Certainly not! I personally know many women who have done IVF who are Orthodox. I personally AM an Orthodox woman who has gone through IVF.

Having children and creating a new generation is one of the first mitzvot in the Torah, and is definitely a Jewish value.

You may be under the impression that IVF itself is taboo because people don't like to talk about it. It is not taboo, HOWEVER talking about it can feel almost taboo. That's because the process of IVF, and the journey to get to that point involves:

1. Sex

2. Physical health and capabilities

I'm sure you can understand that many people (religious or not) want to keep details of their intimacy with their partners private. I certainly don't share all the dirty details of my sex life on here! It's none of your business!

As for the second point, struggling to conceive can often make one feel like their body is a failure, or that they are doing something wrong. It can be a very lonely feeling, particularly in a community where there is pressure to have children. I know that feeling well.

It can be hard to admit that you need medical help to have children, and it doesn't help that medical help involves turning something intimate and personal like sex into something clinical and cold. It can be hard to open up about the process because the details involve body parts and activities that are personal and private.

Fortunately, there are many organizations that exist to provide support for people struggling to have children! These organizations try to break the stigma of talking about fertility so that couples just beginning their fertility struggles can know that they are not alone!

Some of the many great Jewish organizations out there include

Nishmat (great for halachic questions!)

A Time

Bonei Olam

Hasidah

Yesh Tikva

Ohel Sarala

PUAH