Home Grown, Organic, Non-GMO Stories and Poems

She landed in a grimy alleyway which was cold and grief stricken for what it used to be. There was a storm outside, and the sky was black and violet, as if the world was contained in a fresh scab. Her landing wasn’t soft, but wouldn’t have amounted to more than a bruised forehead in the manner in which she fell. Atop her fell a buffet of rain. It wasn’t pleasant, but more so than being burnt. Nearby rang a timpani sound that came from an old payphone. She didn’t have to look up to know what was going on.

Stood proud and cloaked in the night’s rain was a red and worn out phone booth. Kei groaned. She knew what they wanted as well. Her back arched as she ached to pull herself up from the cracked ground. She had to continually motivate herself each second of the way that, “yes, you have not had a good time in a while, but things will sort themselves out.”

With labored steps, she made her way to the dense and fogged up glass of one of the phone booth’s windows. Her movements were slow and deliberate as she reached for the door handle and entered. Inside was the phone which refused to give up on its incessant ringing. With certainty, she was bound for a migraine, or concussion. Whichever the dice happened to land on. But whichever the odds were more in favor of, the phone wasn’t doing her any favors.

When she lifted the phone, a flat-toned no-nonsense voice greeted you:

“Congratulations. Your debt has been repaid. You are now back in good standing.”

“Good standing with what?” Was what she almost asked, but the words were forced back down her throat. Instead, she asked the more prescient question:

“Did you make that portal that brought me back here?”

There was a miscarried pause. Silence akin to glass shattering. Then, the voice on the other end spoke up:

“Did you learn anything during your mission?”

Oh, sure. There’s giving a vague answer and then there’s just avoiding the question altogether. I can work out subtext, so if you have to be vague, just do so, but replying with a question of your own? Now that’s just rude. But fine, I’ll play along, Kei thought. A little more frustrated than she would have liked to admit. Not that she wasn’t used to the waltz with words that was common in the professional world, just that she wasn’t in the best state of mind. If she had a mind left to be in any sort of state at all.

Patience was a commodity and her pockets were empty.

“Yeah. I learned a lot,” she clicked her tongue as she began slipping against the booth and right back into old habits. “I learned that I can get horny, too. I learned that although I don’t understand why others would willingly subject themselves to such torture that I do find sexual stimulation to be quite pleasurable as well. I learned that I still don’t enjoy my pleasures, but likewise, the things I enjoy, I don’t take pleasure in.”

Now there was no stopping her. She couldn’t see anything from outside of the glass. It was too fogged up and the rain came down heavier now. It was the perfect time for a killer to strike, and better yet, to shut her up.

“I learned that what’s real and what’s not is a false dichotomy and it’s just as easy to say that at all times, the space I occupy is somewhere in between. I learned that if what separates the living from the dead is a heartbeat, then there’s no distinction at all. Because as it turns out, I don’t think I truly stopped being a vampire.”

Talking like this distracted her from the real pain she was in. Before she could rattle off more things she ‘learned’, the one on the other end asked:

“How do you figure?”

“Some may say that ‘love makes us human’ or ‘cooking food makes us human’ but I’ve known a vampire who has loved far deeper than any human I’ve ever met. Before I was drugged and made human, I knew how to cook, and even if it didn’t benefit me, having some basic skills helps one get by in life. Is it only the need for blood that makes one a vampire or that they have certain power based on what they yearn for? Is it that they’re constrained to the night and punished by the sun? Is it the inability to age or the lack of a heartbeat? I’ll tell you what: I learned that although I may not always remember names or faces, I don’t forget the experiences I have.”

The voice sounded satisfied as it crooned in response:

“And what does that make you? Vampire or human?”

“I’m Kei. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“So you are. But our records indicate that there was once a Japanese vampire named ‘Kei’ who was described as taller than you and far more dangerous. You’re an annoyance at best...and at worst. Are you to tell me that you’re the only Kei?”

Where there should have been a shiver down her spine was instead a shower of spite.

“What I like about this name is how common it is. It’s just as common as Ken or Ike. You will find no records of my family. My identity was erased before my first death. It doesn’t matter who that other Kei was.”

“So what do you want?”

The question was loaded, but open ended enough to work in her favor.

“It’s time I return to Japan. Drop me off somewhere vampires haven’t been known to occupy. And make my new name be Keiba Kei.”

“Very well, Ms. Keiba.”

“So, tell me your story.”

The stringy, oily, black haired woman, as if she were a mermaid who grew legs and her hair was made of kelp and seaweed and she had an olive complexion glanced at the stranger who sat next to her at the bar. The stranger, unassuming, though equal in the messiness of her hair, looked sheepish.

“What’s there to tell?” She stared down at the glass.

The stranger, with her scraggly brown hair and sullen look as she stared down at the foggy, not quite clear glass of barley shochu. She wore a black pinstripe suit and thin black slacks, with dainty black suede shoes to top it all off. As fancy as her attire was, it had no place in an old tavern lit by candlelight, and worse, her overall demeanor came across as if she would have been kicked out of any fancy establishment. There were burn marks on her face, some scratches and bruises, uneven hairline.

That dark haired woman studied all of that and came to the conclusion that there had to be a story to tell.

“You show up here with no ID and then act surprised when you don’t get served.”

The stranger turned to the dark haired woman, her mouth hung low and the cells responsible for producing saliva must have been on lunch break, as she looked dryer than any ales on the menu.

“How was I to know? I just got back from Denmark!” The stranger gawked.

The woman stirred her drink, a glass of absinthe. Since the two sat, neither had taken a sip. She chuckled, then smirked.

“See? That’s a story right there. What were you doing there?”

The stranger, in silence, asked, “can I lie?”

Were it out loud, the curious woman might have scowled. Though so far, she’s been as enigmatic and nameless as the tavern itself. As if it came from a different time period altogether. Yet her plain white uniform and black jeans suggested that she likely just got off work.

Fatigue or fatalism, the stranger gave in. After all, the woman who also happened to be a stranger was the one who ordered both of their drinks. She might have been an apothecary or botanist were she the bartender. It seemed like whatever office job she may have had, poisoning was her true calling.

“I grew up there. I hated it,” the stranger laughed, but it was without sound. “Later, I moved to Japan, and lived what I thought was a quiet life, away from any kind of excitement. But some way or another, I always ended up in some kind of situation.”

Again, there was a laugh.

This whole time, in the silence of the dimly lit bar, everyone else seemed to be shades and pigments rather than being on the same plane of existence as the two facing each other. Even the bartender only appeared every once in a while from their periphery, and came across like a featureless shadow.

“Lately, I’ve been moving from place to place, trying to find that quiet again. I’m not the kind who likes having stories to tell, you know?”

The nameless woman, whose hair hung low onto the table, like overcooked and blackened udon.

“Yet you came here with a story anyway,” her voice had a heft, a rasp, but was told in whispers. A tired and chain smoking siren, if ever there was one. She reached over and nudged the brown haired stranger’s slumped shoulder. “How old are you, really?”

It was the brown haired one’s turn to face her conversation partner with a smirk. Not playful, if anything, just as pathetic as her prior gestures. “Do you want the real answer or the more plausible one?”

“Your pick. And do remember to drink what I got for you,” she teased. Really, both of them had been teasing each other, and there were no illusions that the two would ever meet again after that night.

The stranger’s smile widened. Whether it was authentic or genuine, not even the stranger knew.

“It’s my 18th birthday. I’ve cut contact with anyone I’ve made connections with, and yet it feels like it ought to be lonely to celebrate by myself. So I came here and decided to listen to others’ stories. Yet here I am, telling another stranger mine,” continued laughter followed. Again, nary a sound.

“That in itself is a story.”

There was a brief silence. Shapes began to fill what just a moment prior were mere shades. Each of them gulped their drink yet there was still half a glass left after they set their glass back down.

“What am I yearning for?” The stranger now asked herself. “I know others could probably come up with that answer for me. I don’t even believe in a normal life, so what am I trying to chase to begin with?”

The strange woman with her absinthe burst into laughter.

“Now that’s a good one!” She slammed her palm against the bar. The bartender, who the stranger still struggled to perceive, gave the dark-haired woman a side-eye. When she caught her breath, she cleared her throat.

“I’ll be honest with you: I won’t give you my story tonight. I also don’t come here often, and as far as I can tell, neither do you. I’ll go back to work and forget about you. And I don’t need you caring about me, so it’s better not to get a feel for me.”

The stranger, her smile wild, bitter, and genuine.

“This is the best present I could ask for,” she replied, then took another drink.

“I’m also not going to give you my number,” she said in a way that made the stranger think, “but wait, there’s more!” The lady continued, “but, I’ll give you my name if you give me yours.”

“Can I make one up?”

“Up to you.”

“Keihime. And yours?”

“Chikurin-in.”

Fire and frenzy. A friendly fire? Maybe. Kei’s head was dizzy. A fever welled up within her brought on by her increasing need to please her mistress further. What started as playing a role (and it was still as such, she just couldn’t think well while in the heat of the moment) became her reality. She couldn’t even see the one she served anymore, her head buried under the shadow of the dress. However light and fanciful it was outside, it was a calming night where Kei’s head rest: right between Fougasse’s thighs.

Her palm moved up without the rest of her in sync. Her left arm held the mistress’s right leg, while her right palm stroked between Fougasse’s legs and along the white layered cloth which made up her undergarments. Fougasse twitched and though Kei knew Fougasse, with what little blood she had, would remain cold throughout, her aching gasps and arching back, the strokes of Kei’s hair...that was all the proof she needed.

Kei slid aside the slit of Fougasse’s panties and leaned her face in. Her tongue was closer to Fougasse’s labial wall than her breath against those soft, ripe lips. Between those lips, she ran her tongue along and tasted the salty nectar which ran through the mistress.

Oh, Kei. Like a cat, your tongue is coarse and rough, but your touch and motions, so slow and gentle. You remind me of a kitten, lapping up a saucer bowl of milk, Fougasse thought amid the waves of pleasure which overtook her.

Both were swept up, as if their very proximity to each other was a smoke bomb going off and releasing volatile aphrodisiac mist. Neither noticed their surroundings, which made it all the sweeter that they were in a world of their own making.

Just like it was all the more sour when a raging infernal flame shot forth at an alarming velocity. Between the fluttering eyelids, Fougasse snapped out of her drunken lust and crossed her legs, clamped against Kei’s neck. Her tongue was still out, but less fun and more agonizing. She spun into the air, Kei in tow, and created a miniature cyclone with her spins. She soared over the flame and the air currents fanned it away.

Let me...at least...taste her clit, Kei begged not for her life, but something more practical, like continued pleasure.

When Fougasse landed back on the clouds, she opened her legs back up and Kei fell out. Fougasse stood tall, her face flushed and her craving for blood replaced her craving for entertainment. She turned her head, saw her throne in shambles, and clenched her fists.

“I knew you would be fine,” Fougasse growled.

From a distance, a tall gentleman, mangled and charred, shambled onto the cloud floor, high above the land.

“Naturally,” Gibassier wheezed. He held up his scepter and mustered a sly smile. “Not only that, but I heard everything. Looks like all this time, Kei and I were only around to clean up your mess. How am I not surprised?”

“Shut up! I didn’t need your help!” Fougasse stamped her foot and shouted.. Clouds dissipated only to reform.

“Oh? Is that why you requested aid twice? But never mind that, what’s this about the treasure being yours as well? Or should I say, I’ll be taking the treasure now!”

Kei crawled on her hands and knees out from Fougasse’s dress. She coughed up a storm, but truth be told, if she were to die between the lady’s pair of legs, she wouldn’t have had any complaints.

“What’s the deal, man?!” Kei turned her head to Gibassier as well. “Haven’t you ever heard of a vampire being eaten out? I was just getting started!”

Gibassier’s arm shook with unsteadiness, a crooked finger pointed at Kei.

“That’s also part of the problem! Do you know how many times I’ve had to sit around while you were out fucking? What if I wanted to fuck Hugo? Why am I the only one not getting action?” Gibassier aired out his grievances, which just made Kei blink once.

“Really, it’s not that big of a deal,” Kei muttered. “It’s just sex.”

That’s what she said, but what Gibassier heard was, ‘oh, so you’re a brat, too?’ Which may not have been far off from what Kei meant, anyway.

“Let’s just pick up where we left off,” Kei stood up and turned her back on Gibassier, pleading to Fougasse. “We can just ignore him.”

However, Fougasse’s scowl told a different story. The air turned black, not like night, but like the shadow under her dress.

“No. I’m no longer in the mood,” she growled. “I need to put this fool in his place.”

She materialized the orb and held it out in the palm of her hand, flashing it in front of Gibassier.

“Try and take it,” she taunted.

Kei looked around. Seeing as those two were about to fight, it really was for the best that she scramble on out of there, climax be damned. There were always women at a bar she could find and pick up later. If anything, she had Gibassier to thank for bringing her back to her senses. She began to tiptoe away when she felt a tug against her wrist. She looked down and saw a cuff, along with a shackle which attached itself back to Fougasse.

“Didn’t I tell you that I would have you forever?” She hissed.

“Oh, no. I was just thinking how bad I need to pee,” Kei lied, though her bladder said that it wasn’t a total lie.

“That’s it! The perfect revenge!” Gibassier shouted to the heavens with a stupid grin on his pompous face. Metallic stakes poked out from every direction and only targeted one place: the shackle. The chains broke in two and Gibassier shot a fireball which struck Kei in the back and knocked her over the clouds.

Kei was a rascal and a scoundrel. A scamp and a tramp at the best of times. Devious and wily. Clever and smarter than she looked, and so much more. But beyond that, just like any old human with their flaws and vices, shortcomings and shortsightedness, Kei was not immune to poor decision making.

Through all their trials, she would have liked to have believed that she formed a great bond with Fougasse, the small and noble vampire in the frilled gothic dress she wore. Her silver hair rolled up into curls and powdered cheeks which gave her an innocent and fair appearance. Kei, who was never considered upper class, always knew their displays of kindness were a lie, but she couldn’t help herself but be swept up in Fougasse’s charm. Had Kei ever taken the time to think it over, she would have known that she was just as susceptible to being charmed by beautiful people as any other.

She handed Fougasse the cerulean orb. A prized possession for a magic user, as Fougasse was a witch as well as a vampire. She did so with no further hesitation and felt that extra weight wash over.

Fougasse swiped the orb out of Kei’s hands and caressed it.

“Ah, how I missed you,” she rubbed her face against the orb. “It really is a beauty, is it not?”

Kei smirked.

“Not as much of one as you, milady.”

Fougasse shifted her gaze from the orb, back down to Kei. Her long, curled eyelashes fluttered as Fougasse blinked a few times. It was the closest she could feel to a fluttering feeling in her chest, given her lack of heartbeat.

“That’s right,” a smile spread across her lips and her fangs poked out. Eventually she found herself with a toothy grin and a rosy complexion, filled with whoever’s blood still flowed through her. “Your obligations with that charity have been fulfilled. But your obligations with me, now that’s a different story.”

Kei gulped. She turned her head to avert the gaze of the haughty vampire. Below was a great chasm, a mountain range and quarry down in a ravine. Kei also noticed that rather than the disc that they had been floating on, their surface once again changed to that of a layer of clouds. They were high above the sky in Fougasse’s little world now.

A throne materialized which Fougasse strode over and took her place in. She crossed her legs and for a moment, Kei thought she looked taller than just a moment prior. Like sitting there gave her legs an upgrade.

I want to kiss her legs. From her ankles to her thighs. I want to kiss between her legs. I wanna leave little bite marks on her inner thighs. I want to draw blood, even if she doesn’t have much to draw. I don’t even care that she’s the vampire and I’m not. I want to taste her salty sweat against my tongue, thoughts flooded Kei at a rate much faster than she could handle.

Fougasse simply laughed. Her laughter echoed across the land.

“I can hear your thoughts, Kei. They’re not exactly quiet.”

Kei blinked. She wasn’t aware that Fougasse could do that. Or maybe the orb allowed her to. She felt dizzy and also unable to control herself past the simple command of ‘march over and give the mistress some loving.’

The orb disappeared, which only meant that Fougasse put it away for now and had no further need for it.

“Your eyes do not fool you. I was always just a little taller than you saw me. Losing my precious orb stripped me much of my power and made me take on a lesser form.”

Fougasse’s explanations are useless. They just buzzed in through one of Kei’s ears and torpedoed out the other. All Kei could do was march over to serve her mistress. She found herself knelt down by Fougasse’s feet and she rubbed her cheek against Fougasse’s knee, finding a comfortable warmth between Fougasse’s legs. For the mistress’s part, she opened her legs and stroked Kei’s hair.

“Yes. Serve me well. For all the humiliation you caused me. For fooling around with others. For not divulging your plans to me. For keeping yourself hidden from me. Your mistress desires you. All of you.”

Oh, what sweet music those words were. Kei forgot how sweet it was to be desired. But hearing those words, Kei could no longer help herself but let her worst impulses take over. She began to stroke Fougasse’s lower leg over the lady’s silky, white stockings.

One hand rest over Fougasse’s mouth, allowing herself to steady her limp and ragged breaths. Her other hand continued to stroke Kei’s hair, a sign of approval.

Kei planted light kisses against Fougasse’s leg. As if a stationary dance, she turned her head in intervals to service the other leg, making sure each were given soft affirmations.

However, Kei was not born with inherent grace, and every how and then her kisses turned wet, sloppy, even. Even then, Fougasse had no objections. Kei lifted the hem of Fougasse’s skirt, the one which tied her dress together, and found a home for her head in there, which was both warm and inviting. She could have fallen asleep and used Fougasse’s thighs as a headrest then and there, but that wouldn’t have sufficed.

Kei undid the garterbelt which held Fougasse’s stockings up and slid them down. She took little nibbles and sucked against the lady’s inner thighs. Not a drop of blood leaked out, and yet Fougasse’s voice, her heavenly, yet impudent voice, broke through.

“Ah, yes. Good,” Fougasse laughed in between her hurried breaths. “You shall serve and stay with me for all time. That way, you shall never forget about me.”

Fougasse’s palm found its way planted into her face. Floating in air, she couldn’t believe what she was witnessing: her apprentice, a troublesome but oft reliable scamp, licked an orb like it was a lollipop. It wasn’t just any orb, but a cerulean one. There were many varieties of orbs to collect and fondle, but the cerulean one was special because of how smooth and sleek it was. With it, one didn’t need a lamp or flashlight, as it provided enough light to fill up a room all on its own.

“You fool! That is the treasure!” She shouted.

“It is?” The ogre scratched his chin with one of his limbs.

“Are you sure? I’m pretty sure it’s just a salt rock. Here, taste it,” Kei held it out.

“No! You have it now! Don’t let the ogre have it! With it, you can alter the world to your whim!”

Weird. I thought I could already do that, Kei stared down at the orb, perplexed.

“Demand yourself, witch!” Belched the ogre. The whole air glistened with the scent of sewage.

“What did you think the treasure you were guarding was? Hmm?” Fougasse tapped her foot midair. Kei hoped Fougasse was asking the ogre, and not her, as Kei didn’t put any thought to it.

“The chest! That’s why it’s called a treasure chest!” The ogre answered.

Kei could excuse the confusion, though she wouldn’t have thought a box was the treasure itself. She had more pressing questions, however.

“So how does this work? I just think about something and the world shifts?” Kei looked down at the orb. Maybe she needed more sodium in her diet, but the strong urge to lick again overtook her. She slapped herself to save herself from the embarrassment.

“Yes! That’s what the ogre was doing this whole time!”

“Liar! I had that power already!” The ogre argued.

“Kei. Hand over the orb. I know how to use it better than anyone else here.”

Loathe as she was to deny her mistress, Kei wasn’t quite ready to give in to demands just yet. First, she thought of an even playing field, one high above the clouds where all three of them stood on the same platform, one which looked like a large vinyl disc. Next, she shrunk the ogre down to only a little taller than herself. Something the ogre didn’t appreciate, but Kei sure did.

“That feels better,” Kei marveled at the orb. No wonder the bloodstained railroad wanted it so bad.

Both the ogre and Fougasse looked desperate for the orb. The ogre with a pouty face, and Fougasse with a stern expression.

“Give it back to me and I promise to give you anything you desire,” the ogre pleaded. “You want Roux back, I can give her back.”

“Who?” Kei tilted her head.

“The lady in the family you met when you arrived here!”

Kei just stared at the ogre in silence.

“There...was a family. But I don’t see why bring them up now. I mean, that’s ancient history, right?”

Now it was the ogre’s turn to be stunned into silence. He could have sworn Kei was the more heroic type, the kind who would have done anything to save another’s life. But he saw now how once there were no lives to save, Kei no longer cared.

“Look: my mission wasn’t ever to take the treasure, myself. My goal was to help kill you. However, if you want to live, how about serving as my familiar? I can’t begin to say how envious I am of other vampires having familiars. What do you say?”

“No! I serve no one!” He shouted again and Kei fell back onto her bum, grasping the orb in her hands as she fell.

“I’m not being unreasonable, here! I just want a cool familiar!” Kei yelled back. In that same instant, a blade longer than any katana Kei had ever seen (mostly in museums) struck through the ogre’s heart from behind. Black blood seeped out. Kei gasped, though was also a little thankful. She imagined a familiar wasn’t unlike a pet and on second thought, she wasn’t ready for the responsibility that came with feeding and taking care of one.

This is the second time I’ve been face to face with someone being impaled in front of me, Kei noted before catching her breath.

“I’d say you did your job well. You helped me kill the ogre and retrieve the treasure,” spoke Fougasse, still stern in her expression with an even, firm voice. “That ogre was one of my creations, and for that, I apologize. He was rather...defective. I’m sure Gustav told you that the ogre was furry, but by the time you got here, the ogre already decided to go bald.”

“That’s interesting. So I take it this whole pocket dimension is actually yours?”

To that, Fougasse grinned.

“Yes! And it was a nice retreat until that ogre decided to have a will of his own. He was just supposed to be a construct to guard my safe haven, you know? I go on vacation for ONE MONTH and next thing I know, this whole place turned upside down.”

“I can sympathize. I once forgot to clean my apartment for a month and then I got confused when I noticed how dirty it had gotten.”

Fougasse blinked. How is that in any way comparable? She thought, rather frustrated.

“Now. Be a good girl and hand my orb over.”

Kei loosened her grip. Whatever happened next wasn’t of any concern to her. Everything else was taken care of and she could finally return to her own world with a boring life to look forward to until her time of dying. Still, it felt too easy. Not that Kei minded easy, but the convenience was rather suspicious.

Kei stared down at the orb.

“Is it really that easy?” She wondered aloud.

The ogre knew a bluff when he heard one. Ever since claiming dominion on the realm, he had learned much about the behavior of others and what they would do to get what they wanted. All that small vampire was good for was making bluffs. Especially those she couldn’t keep. Though now she had bypassed many of his obstacles laid out for her and that tall gentleman of a vampire, she was still ill-prepared to face something as large and mighty as himself. Multiple times already, her and that tall nuisance ran off with their tails between their legs before he could have finished the job with killing them for dare encroaching on his territory. Now that would end. One of his eyes which formed out of a free space on his thick skin of his face noticed the tall one on the ground, buried under the weight of the boulder.

He laughed heartily and swung his arm forward. That same arm held Fougasse and she braced for collision.

Think! Think! She urged herself. Her thoughts ended up drifting back to Kei. That poor excuse for both a human and a vampire. Not half of either, but some kind of counterfeit of both. It wasn’t just the punishment of a ruthless hag which Kei needed, but divine punishment from a fearsome witch. It may have been the spirit’s blood from earlier, but Fougasse felt a strange warmth welling up within her as she thought of all the punishments and torture she had in store for the one who went by ‘Kei’. After all, that pathetic creature had already swore herself as Fougasse’s apprentice.

Fougasse licked her lips.

I’ll have to punish her extra for making me cast such an unsightly spell, she decided before chanting in ragged whispers a spell that coated herself in a smooth and oily substance.

In the same instance that the giant slammed his fist against the cliff face, Fougasse slipped out and chanted another spell which let her float on a circular platform in air. She caught her breath and felt for a heart that would not beat, as if on some primal instinct.

“Tenacious as ever,” the ogre growled. He bore his tusks which he didn’t have just a moment ago and pulled them out from his mouth. Blood dripped down from his mouth and he held the two tusks like boulder-sized stakes. He leaped down from the cliff face and stood at the ground of the quarry, taller than the pit that once held a mountain in place. A massive, towering wall of a creature.

And the extra limbs? Well, none added to his legs at the bottom, further ensuring that he was indeed bipedal. When other limbs grew, they grew on places like his upper back, torso, or head.

“This ends now!” He bellowed.

Fougasse stared at eye level with the ogre. She gave no smile. Her face would have been suited not just for poker, but also old maid and cribbage.

Indeed, if the ogre was a mind reader, he would have already heard her think something along the lines of, “good going. You left your so-called treasure unguarded.

Unfortunately, it was a touch of not showing her hand as well as not revealing her concern over the fact that mountainside had caved in on the side where the treasure lay. If it really meant so much to him, why would he risk breaking it?

That’s because he’s an idiot, Fougasse reminded herself, but stifled her laughter.

Oh. Right. She was also worried because Kei went into the mine passage below for whatever reason (she didn’t even give one) and if that passage had caved in, along with the treasure, Kei was as good as dead.

On the ground Gibassier still lay. That was fine. If he was as good as dead (it was hard to tell with vampires, unfortunately), that just meant Fougasse could claim all the glory for herself.

The ogre noticed Fougasse’s hesitation. Maybe he didn’t pick up on the meaning, but he did pick up on the fact that the third party member was absent. Either that rat turned tail and ran, or was hiding somewhere.

“Hey, where’s your plus one?” The ogre asked.

“Beats me. You probably crushed her while she was trying to run away. You really scare her, you know?”

His large mouth curled into a grin.

“Good,” he bellowed and birds from over the horizon flew away in terror.

He really thought he had won and maybe he was right. Fougasse didn’t have any spell readily available to take on the ogre on her own, and it was a shame her attempt at a distraction didn’t pan out.

“Hey, uh, Mistress…?” A weak and feeble voice called out. Not weak and feeble because it sounded in pain, but because weak and feeble was the natural state for such a voice in Fougasse’s eyes.

“There you are! Apprentice Kei!” Fougasse noticed the speck behind the giant ogre’s back and standing in front of the ruins which once made the cliff wall cave where the ogre’s so-called treasure lay.

“Yeah, I think there’s been a mistake. I looked all over for a treasure, and I was going to continue searching when I heard the commotion outside,” Kei explained and that was when Fougasse noticed the cuts and soot all over her apprentice. She must have sacrificed a great deal. “In the end, I couldn’t find anything of value.”

Oh, those poor, insignificant words. They would have been enough to leave Fougasse’s heart to shatter had it not shattered over a couple of centuries ago.

“You mean...it’s not there?” Fougasse asked. The ogre, too, took note of Kei behind him and growled.

“What is the meaning of this?” The ogre demanded.

Rather inarticulate, the ogre roared again, tore off a chunk of the mountainside and made it into a boulder in which to throw at the three vampires. Fougasse and Kei dodged it with ease. Gibassier, who had just woken up after being struck by a bolt of lightning was not so lucky and was crushed under the weight of the boulder. Once again, Kei’s jaw dropped and she would have let out a scream had she the energy to do so.

“Don’t worry. He’s survived worse,” Fougasse assured. Really, she didn’t care if Gibassier died then and there and Kei got that impression already. She didn’t know who Fougasse was trying to fool.

The ogre, towering as he was, was also without a defined form. Even up close (or as close as he could be without attacking directly) his form kept shifting; sometimes bipedal and loomed over the mountainside, while other times grew and retracted limbs all across its hulking frame. Sometimes, no teeth at all, while other times tusked fangs.

Kei looked around. She wasn’t totally stunned. Yes, she was out of her element. And yes, she didn’t know what treasure was supposed to be claimed and only knew that the giant ogre guarded it. But at the end of the day, it was still a job. She spotted just under the ogre’s head which hung low to stare down her and Fougasse a shadowy hole.

That must be it, Kei thought.

“Could you keep our baby busy?” Kei called over to Fougasse as she began running into one of the nearby mines.

“What are you doing?! Are you running from battle?” Fougasse stamped her foot. She was getting rather tired of her apprentice making the orders. She really should have known her place. Not to mention, Fougasse thought, she’s the weakest one here.

“You’re good at spellcrafting, right?” Kei checked, still calling out as she ran. It was a rhetorical question. Well I’m good at mine...never mind.”

Kei shook her head. She didn’t need to explain everything. That ogre already displayed an understanding of speech as well as a power and intelligence unbecoming of such an oaf. It was one thing to explain her process when not in earshot of the ogre, but now, at the final battle, she couldn’t even trust her own thought process to be sound.

But sound never mattered. She could block it all out. In such a dream world, it was important to remember that none of the rules changed from what others considered a ‘real’ world.

She ran through her mind while running through the mine. Desperation turning toward delusion. All of the pieces that should have been there, even if she had never visited the places she needed to see shifted into something which suited her better: just a little cave with cave paintings and an old, dead lantern on a shelf. On a lower shelf, a pickaxe. On the floor nearby, a crate. Sturdy, even in its decay and able to support a petite but rugged vampire.

The position didn’t need to be exact, but it helped to find a place where she could chip away at the ceiling. By just imagining the ceiling as a little bit lower than it was, thus it was able to be. She got to work, chipping and mining away like it was her calling. In character, she imagined herself much shorter, stockier, a brimmed cap, and a long, white beard. That was the only thing she couldn’t change.

Unlike the ogre, she couldn’t change the whole world around her. Unlike Fougasse or Gibassier, she couldn’t cast spells. The best she could do with the world she was placed in was imagine a world more manageable. It would have to be enough.

Soon, a hole was dug which became a crawlspace. Though she couldn’t transform into a caterpillar (she was aware of vampires powerful enough to shapeshift, yet she knew of one, nor was she one), she could still fulfill the role. That cramped space she dug up would be her cocoon. Or her tomb. When she emerged, she would still be fried and mangled, but reborn, with a treasure.

Partway up, a silverfish as large as a fresh cooked omurice emerged from stone and many lice-like silverfish babies emerged from little pockets in its scales. They cut away at Kei’s cheeks with their razor sharp legs. As for the large one itself, Kei didn’t have time to worry about such trifle things like injuries. She just grabbed that scaled creature by its abdomen and squeezed. Even as she felt scrapes against her one soft palms, she didn’t loosen her grip.

But rather than squeeze it to death, she did the more logical thing and gave a silent prayer of gratitude to the creature while using its still living (if it had a life to begin with) form to tear away at the stone ceiling above.

The pebbles which fell didn’t deter her. She could ignore that. Not that she could ignore pain, but that she could ignore any existence entirely. As if she was merely half-awake.

Outside, the ogre pounded on the cliffside wall.

“You will not take my treasure!” He declared and reached out to grab Fougasse. She gasped and took a step back. She deployed a shield spell, but its limb – or sea of limbs, shattered the shield and grasped Fougasse tight.

She struggled to free herself from the grasp and her bones compressed. She wouldn’t let them crack. That would have been unladylike. As would admitting defeat against something so large and ugly.

“Your treasure? Is that because you claimed it as yours or has it belonged to you to begin with?” She sneered and dragged out each word.

“Fool! Anything in this world is mine! If I let you live, you will become mine as well! As will that tall nuisance, and that new outsider!”

Fougasse shook her head and said:

On the other side of the cavernous, mucky and dark path, lie the mountainous quarry. Deposits of rocks in a pile, broken tracks which may have once led somewhere, or never led anywhere. Mine shafts which were repurposed into hovels and mud huts within. Some of it made sense, others looked like pure collision. The others had seen this structure before, even if it had shifted a few times since their last visit (the ogre was nothing if not indecisive), so they weren’t impressed. For Kei, it was her first time, but as harsh as the smoky air was, she was unfazed. The scent of sulfur lingered in the cloudy sky. Overhead, on the face of one of the cliffs, was a tall windmill tower which was on fire.

“Oh, don’t worry. It’s always on fire,” Gibassier pointed out, as if that was ever a worry. Maybe it was the source of the toxic air. Or maybe the air was always meant to be like that.

No sign of any ogre yet, but atop one of the cliffs were a pair of giraffes. They just as quickly vanished when Kei squinted.

“Where’s the ogre, anyway?” Kei asked, still looking around and taking in the carcinogenic environment. Everything was so drab and gray that the ogre could have easily used the element of stealth.

“Probably hasn’t noticed us yet,” Fougasse stepped forward. There may have been a landmine nearby and she just happened to sense it in time, because she had one foot raised up, but then set it behind her other. A half-step backwards, if you will. She gave Kei a side-eyed glare and groaned, “it’s hard to concentrate when I think about how loud you are when you’re asleep.”

Kei gulped.

Did she overhear the conversation between Klaus and I? Damn, she thought.

“Your heartbeat is too noisy! I’m so glad I don’t have one of those when I sleep! Could you imagine?” She crossed her arms and leaned forward. Kei thought for a moment that Fougasse looked like a little baby Canadian goose.

Gibassier laughed.

“Right? You’re noisy enough when you’re awake,” he added, hand on his chin.

Fougasse cast a spell which sent a bolt of lightning over Gibassier’s head. He turned stiff while a flash of light engulfed him, then he keeled over. Kei’s jaw was on the rocky and dry dirt floor.

“He’ll be fine,” she waved her hand away. “Now,” she paced over to Kei and stood on her tiptoes. She pressed herself against Kei and laid her palm over Kei’s chest, right where her heart sat. Despite Fougasse’s cold hand, Kei’s hand warmed the same.

“Even faint, you can hear it. Feel it.”

Kei looked down on the silky hair of the prissy princess.

“But if I don’t acknowledge it, it’s as good as not being there at all.”

Fougasse looked up. Her eyes were big. And blue (and sometimes green, brown, or red). And glassy. Despite knowing there were no need for vampires to have tear ducts, it looked like she was about to cry.

“But having one is how you know you’re alive.”

Those words sounded familiar, but for the life or unlife of her, Kei could not figure out how, where, or why.

Fougasse pressed herself closer and lowered her other hand down to Kei’s waist. Fougasse’s hot bloody breath grew heavier.

“If a heart beats without a body, does that mean the heart itself is alive?” Kei wondered aloud. Or maybe to distract herself from the déjà vu.

“And a beating heart is a bleeding heart,” Fougasse drew out each word as if every letter were a song only she knew.

“That’s funny. Someone I once knew said that.”

Fougasse pulled away, but maintained eye contact.

“Oh. Who?”

Kei chuckled and scratched the back of her head.

“That’s the thing: whenever I’m no longer involved with someone, I tend to just forget about them.”

Fougasse continued to back away, but only a pace or two.

“So you lack object permanence when it comes to others?” She inquired.

“That makes it sound like I see people as objects. Besides, once I became human again, I started remembering those I once forgot.”

Kei felt bile rise in her stomach. The most likely cause was anxiety and not due to the hot blood she had partaken in not long ago. Just the idea of uttering the word ‘human’ or referring to herself as such seemed like enough to draw out the ogre. Sure, that’s what they all wanted, anyway, but not too soon.

“Yet you wish to return to forgetting?” Fougasse pursed her lips.

“It’s just easier. Once it’s gone, there’s no use letting it affect me.”

Fougasse paused. Why such a thing worried her so, she didn’t know, but it wasn’t just worry: it was irritation. It was as if an impromptu debate was set up and winning said debate was a matter of life or death.

“You think you’re moving on by forgetting, but you’re just forgetting.”

Kei scowled. She may not have even been conscious that she did, but she did.

“I didn’t come here to have a therapy session. Shouldn’t you be treating me like a worthless mutt?” Kei retorted.

“I just know that if one of my maidservants did something naughty and I needed to punish her, it’s best to remember who to punish.”

“Yes, but you see, I could do that. You could hide from me right now and I would still remember you because we’re working together. Once we stop working together, there’s no reason to remember you. That’s also why I’m not worth being charmed by.”

Yet in turn, you see others as not worth remembering after they’re gone? Fougasse didn’t dare ask aloud.

“What’s your status?”

“OK. So...the other two vampires are asleep right now. I may be a bit of an insomniac or I really value my privacy, but I just have another concern…”

There was a sigh on the other end. Rather, a groan. Not a moan. Next, shuffling could be heard in the background.

“You’re a special case. That doesn’t mean I want you blowing up my phone with the little orb I gave you just because you start hesitating.”

Kei sat up against the cavern wall. It made for a nice headboard and while she was dealing with some serious burns, she had her androgynous good looks restored thanks to some pseudo-restoration magic which Gibassier happened to have on hand. He waved it across while chanting something neither she nor Fougasse could hear. The next thing she saw, her burn marks had disappeared and her hair was like it was before it was singed off. That wasn’t to say she was no longer in pain (it wasn’t a healing spell, after all). In fact, her pain was excruciating, but at least she looked unblemished and like she still had a full head of short, scruffy hair.

Fougasse was resting atop Kei’s bare chest. Gibassier, who had a light undershirt, decided to lend Kei his cloak to use as a blanket while he hung upside down from the cavernous ceiling. It would have been unnerving had she not been impressed. Fougasse, meanwhile, would on occasion, open her eyes wide before shutting them again. There was no reason to go into what Fougasse did with Kei after they staked their claim of rest. There was no reason because there was no good blood to extract from Kei. Neither worthwhile as a human nor as a vampire, yet even without being affected by the notion of a charm spell, Fougasse couldn’t yet let Kei go or accuse her of being useless.

“I’m a special case, huh? Then how come you’re treating me as expendable and giving me the cold shoulder?” Kei rasped back into the little spinning orb which transmitted vocal vibrations.

“You’re a special case because you’re not yet a vampire. We usually only assist vampires. And two, you killed a vampire, something which goes against our rules in the first place. We’re a charity service, so it’s not like we’re going to send death squads after you, but we can still deny you service. The fact that I gave you an assignment to put you back in good standing should be seen as kindness enough.”

The ravens outside of the cave entrance crowded around and served as a wall. It kept any light from leaking in and kept any monsters out. Kei should have been thankful for that, but the present could wait until the future was secure.

“What about them? Are they not ‘special cases’? They seem pretty powerful. And evil. What time period are they even from? Not mine, I take it. Are they being punished as well?”

Another groan. Kei could sympathize. She knew how troublesome it was to deal with vampires, and not to mention the fact that whoever she was speaking with (whether it be Klaus or Gustav), this was just their volunteer gig. Their main job was at a carpet store and he probably had to deal with irritating customers all the time. But it was because Kei could sympathize that she needed confirmation.

“This isn’t about morality and this isn’t your punishment. Does a boss punish a worker with work?”

There was a pause on both ends. Mostly because Kei wanted to answer with, “yes” and she sensed that the carpet salesman would have answered his own question in the affirmative.

“Sorry. Bad analogy. I forgot who I was dealing with,” he resumed. Kei also forgot that she had a history that must have been well documented. That was rather dreadful. She considered making her next quest to purge any records of her from anyone’s prying eyes, but that was too far in the future to worry about. “You have the same strength you did when you were a full vampire. This shouldn’t be a challenge for you.”

That’s the thing: I was never very powerful, Kei thought. She also thought about how the other vampires she was made to assist were much more powerful and yet they struggled just as well. Still, she decided to play along.

“You’re right. It’s an interesting drug and so easy to take regularly. All I have to do is let the two red tablets dissolve under my tongue and I can feel its effects. That’s what I’ve been concerned about,” she lied, but at least she wasn’t a tsuchinoko. “If someone was never bitten, but continually took these drugs, wouldn’t they be no different from a vampire?”

There was another pause. Fougasse stirred in her sleep and reached her palms up to Kei’s neck as if to try to choke Kei in her sleep. Her head remained resting atop Kei’s left breast. Unlike the morning prior, Kei was at ease. While Kei had a heartbeat, those vampires at rest had no such thing, and no sign of breathing when they weren’t animated.

“More research needs to be done in that field, but hypothetically…” Klaus (that’s the name Kei decided upon once again, even if he might have been a Gustav) trailed off, obviously not wanting to finish that statement. Luckily for him, Kei had a different statement.

If one knew a spell, one only had to think of such a spell, and then it would be cast. Easy for those who have mastered the hard parts. Of course, saying the name of a spell was fine, but it wouldn’t actually make you cast the spell you wanted to cast. In Fougasse’s case, she forgot she even had such a useless spell such as ‘waterspout’. Most of the time, it really was useless. Other spells, like, ‘downpour’ and ‘flood’ were much more useful, but Fougasse hadn’t yet mastered those spells as she hadn’t yet reached that proficiency level. It was a sore spot for her, best not to be brought up in her presence.

What made waterspout useless, in most cases, was how it was little more than a trickle. Less than a rain, more of a mist. Maybe a sprinkle. Fun for party favors, but as an offensive spell, it did her little good. Still, she was desperate and Kei clearly thought it was a good idea, so spout the water did…

Little wet drops fell from who knew where and cleared out the smoke, but did little against the flames of the phoenix. Gibassier looked up, struggling to keep the barrier intact, but still had enough strength to snicker. It really was amusing seeing the little lady make such a pathetic counterattack. Never mind the fact that he was in the same peril the other two were.

He noticed the energy shield start to crack and shatter. He gasped. He was about to be knocked down and Fougasse would be the next domino, along with Kei, being the most wrecked piece.

“Fine! I’ll chip in!” He spat.

In the same instance that he added his own waterspout spell to the mix (yes, he had access to more powerful water magic, but was too committed to the bit of matching Fougasse’s energy to do anything more powerful than that) and what started as a mist turned more into a shower, or the cool rain of November.

That had more of an effect and this time the titanic phoenix’s flames diminished. Soon, it was more like a giant, flying fried chicken. Oh, but that wasn’t yet their victory. Even weighed down by the (really, not heavy at all) rain, the phoenix was relentless in its drilling down of the barrier and before Gibassier’s eyes, the barrier shattered into little blue glassy particles which cut into his suit. He fell over, but Fougasse was wise enough to leap forward before falling as well.

Gibassier was pecked out and he screamed like a banshee who could have been Kei’s long-lost grandmother. At first, Fougasse laughed at his misery, but then decided to show her rival some mercy.

“It would be disadvantageous for you to die,” she said before raising her arm up and waving her fingers around. Kei looked up, watched a black spiral form in the air, then scatter into a mass-murder of ravens, out for blood just like their master was when hungry.

They all landed down upon the phoenix and tore away at its skin. It covered like ants on a sugar cube and picked off pieces to take home, wherever that may be.

Gibassier scrambled up. Him now cut up, but bloodless, so looked more like Jarlsberg cheese. The phoenix, which could have been reborn, had its bits not resting in the stomachs of various corvids. Fougasse looked at its picked apart remains and smiled wider than the fire which continued to spread outward.

“Since when did you have ravens as your familiars? I thought your familiars were toads,” Gibassier croaked and used his scepter as a cane to balance himself up.

“Toads are my witch familiars. Ravens are my vampire familiars. Since I’m both a witch and a vampire, I get two!” Fougasse boasted. To that, Gibassier rolled his eyes.

Wait. Vampires can have familiars? Why didn’t I get that ability? Or maybe I always have. Maybe the girls I charm are my familiars? But I don’t know if I want that kind of responsibility. Controlling people would be so much work, Kei thought, but let the scene between the other two vampires play out with no interruption.

“I must say, too, it looks like you took the least damage out of all three of us this fight!” Gibassier rolled out another complaint.

“Why, of course! A proper lady need not be tarnished,” Fougasse smirked, hand on her chest.

“I guess that makes me an improper lady,” Kei chimed in, even though she had vowed just prior not to interject. Oh well, she couldn’t always keep promises to herself.

There was a silence amongst everyone. Not even Kei laughed at her own remark. That’s how she knew what she said wasn’t all that funny. It would have been too awkward now to acknowledge that it was a joke at all, so Kei changed the subject.

“Onward?” She asked.

Another pause. That time wasn’t a joke, but it did damper her spirits to be subjected to another round of silence.

However, another moment later, Fougasse spoke up.

“Sorry, I spaced out. What were you saying?” She sounded sincere, but now Kei was the one stunned into silence.

“I was lost in thought,” Gibassier admitted, “but I do think we have a little bit of night left. However, by the time we reach the mountain quarry where the ogre resides, dawn will have broken. Then we’ll be at our weakest.”

Fougasse nodded.

“But if we linger here, we’ll be swept up in this forest fire. Not to mention, there could be other creatures ready to strike.”

“That’s right,” Kei nodded along. “There was a blue shark earlier. I guess it fled in the commotion. There could be other, more dangerous creatures we haven’t yet encountered. They’ll just slow us down further.”

Through the fire and flames, she ran. The path of most resistance indeed. She’d suffer burns and extra hot, too, given her vampire status and all. It wasn’t her smartest decision, and yes, there were other directions she could have ran, but she’d burn to a crisp than give in to the lies of fat snakes. Even though she should have been safe from such annoyances, she still heard their falsehoods from behind her.

“That fire won’t hurt you,” fibbed one.

“We’re friendly! We just want to have a conversation with you!” Called out another in desperation.

Kei’s met a few actually kind tsuchinoko back in Japan. Whether these ones were the real deal or constructs (a working theory of hers, based on the ogre’s M.O.), but either way, they acted like the real deal. See, actual friendly tsuchinoko don’t say that they’re friendly. Instead they’ll say something like:

“I hate you and hope you get mauled by a bear,” or “I bet you have no friends! I’d never want to be friends with someone so ugly like you!”

Of course, they always meant the opposite and it just took a little bit of math to figure out what they really meant. Most of the time, the math was simple. See, tsuchinoko were liars, as they told only lies, but they weren’t good liars, and it was usually pretty clear through their actions what they truly meant. Thus, Kei could tell that these tsuchinoko were anything but friendly.

I’m going to die and all I can think of is how annoying these fat snakes are, Kei thought as the flames seared her skin and singed her hair. Likewise, she thought, or I’ll live and my ugliness from these burns will drive away anyone who might otherwise be charmed by me. Then maybe finally I can get some peace. Yeah. It’s all about the silver linings.

Fougasse also had to look at the bright side of life: yes, the phoenix, who was much faster than Kei, regrouped with the other creatures, and even combined with the other phoenixes to make one, much larger phoenix, but at least now there was only the one phoenix to deal with. That made things much more manageable, as long as she could hold out long enough.

However, that gargantuan phoenix flapped its infernal and all-encompassing (it was as if the once dark sky was stained with a permanent blood orange glow) wings. Trees not only caught fire, but blew off from the roots itself and crashed its way to the ground. Through sheer determination, both Fougasse and Gibassier stood, even with their knees buckled, and braced for anything.

After the phoenix stopped flapping, it let out a piercing shriek as if to signal immense disappointment at the fact that those two vampires remained alive and unharmed.

“How are you holding up?” Gibassier turned his head to ask the much smaller Fougasse. By happenstance, their backs were to each other and that was maybe the most physical with each other they would ever let each other be.

“That is not the question. The question is: ‘how will I be doing in an hour from now?’ And the answer is, ‘we’ll soon find out’” Fougasse answered with a smirk.

The phoenix made itself into some kind of flaming missile and launched itself against Gibassier and Fougasse at once. Its beak, sharp and erect, as long and thin as the wittiest of rapiers. It had essentially become a drill on fire. The two combined their magical power into an extra large barrier spell which shielded them from the phoenix’s strike. Even still, the heat was on.

Soon, the whole forest, once dark shades of green and a pitch turquoise night, now a beautiful canvas of a smoky sky with fields of various shades of red in a mesmerizing gradient. Too bad it was too painful for anyone to enjoy it.

Kei arrived back in the circle, coughing and covered in soot. Her clothing, some grafted onto her skin, other parts torn, while her hair was half gone, and the other half had gone missing. Be it sheer blind and delusional luck, she was pretty sure that the tsuchinoko had all been burnt in their pursuit of her. She wobbled, stumbled into where Fougasse was.

“He-e-y mistress,” Kei greeted. She looked more drunk than immolated, and maybe that’s what fire did to someone like Kei. Fougasse, never one to measure the power level of another, just assumed it was possible that Kei was both very weak in terms of offensive power, but was durable enough to be the mightiest vampire in history. That, or maybe the suffocating fumes got Fougasse drunk as well and her ability to reason had turned into a pig and flapped its wings far, far away.

“My, you look dreadful,” Fougasse teased. Even struggling against a great beast, she couldn’t help but beat upon the less fortunate.

“Are you kidding? I’d say I’m hotter than ever,” Kei joked back, though her words were slurred and it took Fougasse’s more refined ears to parse what was said.

Yep. Kei was about ready to collapse. It was nice enough to know that her lady and the tall entourage wasn’t tarnished. Except...wait a second? Fougasse may have acted like a mistress, but Kei didn’t want to die having to defer to someone spoiled rotten. Just as her face was ready to kiss dirt, she jolted up and shouted.

“Teach me a spell!” Kei demanded.

“What good would that do now?” Fougasse shouted back as she put her palms into keeping the shield spell stable. “Anything I could teach you I could do, myself!”

That was true. And after giving it a second thought, if Kei learned magic, she would become more powerful than she already was, and that meant more attention would be put on her. In other words, it was too troublesome. So, she recited her own spell:

“The itsy-bitsy spider climbed up the…”

That scrawny, but once so sharp dressed, vampire bent over and the bratty aristocratic witchy vampire conjured up a giant wooden paddle. It looked more like a stirring stick one might use for pasta, just enlarged many times over. The first swing made was a swing and a miss, as they often were. A ‘test swing’, if you will. But nonetheless, it made the creatures surrounding them charge and make their move. In a panic, Fougasse swung with a heightened fury which would leave Kei’s ass numb for days. Or maybe just an hour.

Sore Kei soar through the trees, her faces hitting branches and leaves along the way. The creatures, of which were zombies, skeletons, and a phoenix (just one, the rest weren’t interested) turned their attention toward the shooting star that wasn’t a star at all, wasn’t even a rock, but something resembling a body belonging to a living (allegedly) human (or vampire) who wasn’t having such a great time but was just glad to take one for the team.

She eventually landed on a soft patch of dirt and some aching bones. Nothing broken, but plenty of bruises, cuts, scrapes, and splinters.

A few trees behind her, she heard the groaning call of zombies and the rattling bones of the skeletons. Likewise, a searing flame brought on by the phoenix spread to the branches and leaves of each tree and lit a path for the creatures to give chase.

Kei would have congratulated the various creatures on teamwork and having some kind of intelligence, but she figured they weren’t much for conversation, and Kei needed the exercise anyway. She began her jog away from peril, but limped at first, feeling the effects of such a harsh landing in motion. At least I didn’t land on my head and I landed on my forearm, which is safer, Kei thanked whatever lucky star she may have briefly been before she built up momentum.

At the same time, Fougasse read from her spellbook (which she could conjure at will) and read out a chain lightning spell. It first jumped between three slimes, then bounced onto some kappa, followed by skeletons, then zombies. Unfortunately, it stopped at the zombies as it wasn’t able to reach high enough, nor would it have affected, the phoenix. That phoenix may as well have had a shield in the form of flames as most non-solid elements would have had no effect. Lightning stops, fireball only gives the phoenix more flame. No air current was strong enough, and even if one was, it would only spread the flame elsewhere, and give enough time for the phoenix to build up more flame. The only two solutions were to have impale/crush with something physical, like a boulder or a spear, or to douse with heavy floods.

Fougasse was aware enough of that difficulty and she tore through page after page to find the right spell. Maybe even the right combination of spells, should the need call. Gibassier was busy shooting fireballs at the other creatures, including a black dog who frequently pounced around or turned into shadow to avoid such blasts. That too was a thorn in the trio’s side. Most of the creatures were pure fodder, but every so often there were the big ones who wouldn’t go down so easily.

Gibassier broke a sweat as a few black dogs charged forth at once, large enough to bite his whole self in a single chomp with their slobber-filled jawline.

He waved his scepter and thorny branches shot up to hold them in place before any could get him, though he still felt the hot breath ooze from the spirit dogs’ nostrils. At first, he drew a sigh of relief and wiped sweat from his brow, but that relief was drowned out when one managed to chew its way through the vines.

“Bloody fuck!” He gasped, and usually such two words would’ve been a good thing. But here, it was more like a cry to his gods.

He shot a volley of fireballs from his scepter in the gargantuan dogs’ direction and they exploded into either little strips of shadow or chunks of flesh and viscera. Whichever was less appealing on the eye.

I wonder how a black dog’s blood might taste, Gibassier thought as he once again drew a sigh of relief.

The phoenix who had been chasing Kei, having sensed the dwindling number of monsters remaining turned its attention back toward the clearing circle where Fougasse and Gibassier were. Kei looked back, something which one usually wasn’t supposed to do during a chase, and saw the phoenix turn away.

“Hey! Keep your eyes on me!” Kei jumped up, waved her arms about, and shouted. “I taste good roasted! Come on, immolate me!” Kei’s shouts sounded like genuine pleas, even if they weren’t. She tried to chase after the phoenix who was no longer interested in Kei, but a wall of flame engulfed between the trees which led back to the phoenix’s direction.

“Dammit!” Kei stomped. “Guess I’ll have to find my way back the long way.”

On her sort of limp-jog back, however, she stumbled upon a few other misshapen but unmistakable legendary creature: the tsuchinoko. Fat snakes occupied the trees and slithered down with their beady eyes, of which there were many. Once, maybe, banded snakes and rattles at their ends, now stalks of eyes crowded around. They leaped into the air at Kei, chomping at their own tails and turning into wheels as soon as they landed. The wheels grew spike-like horns all long their girth as they tore through both soft and dry, hardened dirt alike.

Trees set fire and put themselves out in the same instant in a continuous loop, mesmerizing all who gazed upon the flames. Sometimes the flames were red, sometimes blue. Most often, orange. The source of the flame was none other than a raging phoenix, flapping and floating about. This phoenix had many eyes. But it wasn’t the only creature to have greeted the intruders…

Groups of feral and hairy bipeds emerged; they had duck bills and the top of their heads lacked fur. On its back was a turtle shell. In other words, a kappa. But this kappa had horizontal, rotating eyes which spun around in a circle as if simply a machine meant to imitate a kappa.

Werewolves which looked more like centaurs followed, with eyes stripped along their bodies. Some kind of zombies made of bog water emerged with eyes popping in and out of view. There were skeletons in the back looking to throw down (those had no eyes, but the skeletons resembled many animals at once and its bone structure constantly shifted).

Many others, most of which didn’t belong in the forest (including the legendary blå haj, aka the Swedish Blue Shark) joined their ranks. All surrounding the three vampires.

“Of course,” Fougasse smirked while her voice fried in fright, “we’re not out of the woods, yet. We don’t get a break.”

Maybe it was uncharacteristic of Fougasse to not have such a high and mighty attitude to even being surrounded by monsters of various origin. Doubly uncharacteristic, then, that Kei dusted off what remained of her nice clothes (not that it exposed anywhere important), then looked around.

“We can handle this,” Kei said, listless and with eyes half-open. Fougasse even caught a hint of a yawn. Either that foolish apprentice had no sense of self-preservation or she just didn’t care.

“What do you mean ‘we’? By your own admission, you’re the weakest one here,” Fougasse lectured but even her usual demeanor was replaced with trepidation.

“Yeah, I know,” Kei shrugged.

“Then you’ll be the first to die!” Fougasse stood on her tiptoes and yelled. Kei was unfazed. Neither bang nor whimper.

“Yeah, but you two won’t be. And I’m only the helper, aren’t I?” Kei looked down as if Fougasse was twice as small as she already knew she was. “You two have magic. I could die, or buy you two some time. Or do both. I don’t really know how much change I have on me to buy time with, but at least a few seconds, yeah?”

Fougasse growled and scowled and huffed and puffed and her face turned red as if she was as full of life as the last time she had a life to live. She wanted to say, “that’s all you think you’re worth? Two seconds?” But she knew she didn’t have much time left to bicker: while the creatures all stood in place in their circle around the trio, it was clear by their stances that they were ready to attack at a moment’s notice. Most likely, if she had to guess, the second any of the three fulfilled a certain condition, the creatures would charge toward them: 1) Fougasse, Kei, or Gibassier made a move in any direction. 2) Any of the three vampires (though it barely counted with Kei, apparently) initiated a fight first. Or 3) Any of the three, or all three, made too much noise.

She had her arms crossed and her face in a knot.

“The way I see it, I’m already buying you guys time just by staying calm,” Kei remarked.

“Really? How do you figure?” Fougasse kept her voice low. She knew by now that keeping calm was vital.

“Talking is a free action. Until we’ve called our action, we can talk as much as we like.”

“I fail to comprehend,” Fougasse shook her head and made a, “hmph” sound.

“We can plan, but we can’t make any moves,” Gibassier explained. He had his staff ready and as moronic as he found the whole ordeal, he couldn’t deny that Kei had been an immense help. In some way or other.

“So, got a plan?” Gibassier asked, a smirk across his face. Fougasse had one as well, but she would rather it go unacknowledged.

“I’m glad you asked. I figure you and Fougasse can cast spells on each end while I make a break for it and we can regroup once you two are done slaughtering those monsters,” Kei sounded rather proud of herself.

“That’s terrible,” Fougasse interjected.

“Yeah, you’re right. Do you have a shield spell by any chance? Like a large barrier? Energy field?” Kei suggested.

“I…” Fougasse began to say something like, “of course not. I conjure things and I shoot elemental magic only” until she remembered that she did indeed have an energy shield spell indeed.

“I do,” Fougasse nodded. She looked quite proud indeed.

“Good,” Kei gave a thumbs up. She knew she wasn’t the sharpest tool in the hiker’s backpack, but she had experience with utilizing people. And as undead as they may be, vampires were still a kind of people. Just as easy to take advantage of as any other. In that sense, there was nothing wrong with not knowing any magic spells at all. Really, Kei’s life was bliss even in the worst of times.

Maybe it was tempting fate, but Kei felt so good about the whole ordeal that whatever the ordeal could be called, she didn’t so much as have a “death wish” as much as she wished to be the shooting star that others could wish upon. It was unfortunate that after a good morning’s rest, she’ll forget all about wanting that, as she’ll no longer have need to want that.

Kei knelt down, just like she had the night before. All the creatures huffed and readied their stances. Shuffling began to occur.

It was possible that Fougasse and Gibassier were stunned into silence, but they couldn’t deny the fascination with their wishy-washy companion and her captivating manner of speech.

“So you’re a vampire again, but you don’t have the power you once did? Is that what you’re telling us? Is that why you’re weak?” More accusations were thrown Kei’s way. Whether or not they were really accusations or mere curiosity, only the ones who asked could have said.

Kei shook her head.

“I was always weak. Time as a vampire didn’t ever make me stronger. I just figured out how to keep living without much effort. Maybe that is a strength, but over time I just got stagnant. I forgot what I was yearning for. If I ever had yearning at all. Then I thought about how so many things in legality ask for people to be over the age of 18 and I wanted to stop having to pretend to be an adult. You know?”

Fougasse blinked.

“Really? That’s the reason? When you’re as rich and powerful as I, why should I care how old I was when I died? I can do whatever I want, anyway!”

“Yeah, well some people don’t like to take risks,” Kei shot back.

“I understand it if you were acting out the scientific method,” Gibassier nodded. “But I would rather hire a familiar to act out the experiment for me, thus ensuring no harm came my way.”

“Yeah, well not everyone has, or wants, the resources you two have,” Kei started getting a little defensive. Yes, she knew she was a little bit foolish, but that didn’t mean her reasons didn’t make sense for her.

Fougasse shook her head.

“Ignoring all that, were you, perhaps, depressed?” Fougasse asked. Pity or genuine care dripped from her voice, but Kei was more focused on how soft and pink Fougasse’s pouty lips were.

“I’d rather not think I was. It’s not all that deep. I rather like living a long time, going through the motions. Harming those, little by little, in subtle ways. All that’s well and good. I just wanted to feel more ‘legitimate’, you know? Like even if I had to fake IDs, I could at least say that I was legally an adult.”

Kei looked at both of them. Both just stared back in silence, but she could tell by their neutral expressions that they though her motivation for trying out humanity was utter nonsense. She could have said, “tough crowd,” but that would have acknowledged what didn’t need to be said.

“Turns out, human life and I are incompatible. It’s possible even before first being a vampire, all those years ago, I didn’t match what was expected of a human. Nor did I desire to. Even if I die after my 18th birthday, that’s fine enough. Because being a human is more trouble than it’s worth.”

“But you’re a vampire again now, yes?” Fougasse asked in a way which made one risk death upon saying anything but ‘yes’.

“It’s more like I never truly stopped. There was always some part of me who would find a way to drain the lives of others. It’s not something to feel guilty about, either. I’ve learned over time I can get by pretty well without killing anyone. It’s called taking your time with your food. I can eat a lot as a human, but the food that isn’t blood just doesn’t have a taste to me.”

“You still hope to die sometime after metaphorically, ‘turning 18’. As in, you’re still in the process of becoming a vampire? Ergo, you really are weak.”

Kei nodded, brimming with enthusiasm.

“Yes, yes! That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you! I’ve been set up! I’m just a bum kind of vampire!”

Fougasse conjured up a fan and puffed out it as she whacked it atop Kei’s head.

“That doesn’t matter, though. You’re stuck here, so the least you can do is be used how I see fit.”

It didn’t help that Fougasse also yanked at her black tie, which wasn’t all in tatters. There were still traces and threads.

Kei gave a slow nod as Fougasse began to climb on top of her.

“You really are weak. So weak that even a small thing which usually wouldn’t sully herself for the likes of some scoundrel can grapple on top of you without feeling like I’ve tarnished my good name.”

“...What?” Was all Kei had to say in response. It didn’t matter, though as soon Fougasse toppled Kei over and a cloud of dirt spread along where they lay. Fougasse leaned down and bit the inside of Kei’s lip. The loose, inedible strands of what most would call ‘blood’ didn’t satisfy her, and in fact, should have pushed her away, but if anything it strengthened her resolve to mark Kei as her territory. To that end, Fougasse shifted until she faced the opposite way of Kei, and her face stared down at Kei’s legs. Kei, in turn, got a look at Fougasse’s waist above her eyes.

“What are you doing?!” Kei demanded, this time filling the role of an interrogator. Just as fast, Fougasse began unbuttoning Kei’s pants.

“I keep to mark my rune in your leg for safekeeping!”

Gibassier stood up, shaking his head all the while.

“Really? This is the end result?” He really wasn’t impressed.

From a certain point of view, then, it was good news that as he stood, he noticed several eyes staring through the shadows. All glowing. Some red, some orange, some green and blue. All different hues, but each with the same intent: to make a lesson of those who would encroach upon their territory. Many creatures has a claim staked, but not a single one had given the three vampires permission to idle by and discuss just frivolous topics. No inquiry was worth the danger which now surrounded them.

They sat by the fire, not too close, but warm enough that it couldn’t harm them. There was Kei, on the far left so as to be more aware of the dark woods. Fougasse was seated to Kei’s right, but not so close as to brush arms with Kei. Gibassier, spread further away, to the right. Maybe also looking toward the other end of the forest. Maybe Fougasse really was the odd one out; with her back turned, it either suggested that she feared nothing behind her, or she was just oblivious.

Fougasse was still of much more importance to focus on than Gibassier. He just acted to indulge Kei in her hubris. Again, she felt like her attitude was being passed onto someone else. Like she had to put in more work just to put in less work than him. But Fougasse, she was the most powerful ally, and the greatest threat, next to the ogre. All three had strips of slasher spirit flesh attached to the end of sticks and held the sticks over the fire. After a few seconds, they would press their teeth against the strips of flesh and suck out the nutrients.

“I gotta say, I’m surprised we can get any blood from this at all,” Kei broke the silence and faked her award-winning smile. “It reminds me of jerky, except you don’t actually eat it and there’s blood inside.”

“That’s because we preserve the blood and only give it a light warmth from being near the fire,” Gibassier explained, sounding rather nerdy. That was fine, though. The more he talked, the less Kei had to. “In fact, learning alchemy, especially biology, really helps when you’re a vampire.”

Kei nodded. She probably never saw herself getting into chemistry, but what he said sounded reasonable enough. If she was diligent, she probably would have studied blood or something. Transmute blood into gold. Get rich. Then burn it all away with a flammable vapid attitude and a ‘please set me on fire’ sign attached to her at all times.

“We’re vampires – we find workarounds. It’s what we do to uphold our lifestyle. As if we know any other lifestyle, right?”

She at first glanced at Kei, before glancing at Gibassier. Maybe it was more of a collective glance.

“I mean, we can try, but some way or another, we always end up coming back to ourselves,” Kei muttered. She didn’t mean to speak aloud or even dare think such thoughts, but it was true. And what was so wrong with being true?

Fougasse leaned against Kei as she lifted up the stick to dip it into the fire once more. As she did, her wrist slipped against the fabric of the carpet she sat upon (again, to avoid direct content with the ground) and her nails dug into Kei’s left arm and further tore the fabric of her suit. It was painful, but not because she let out a yelp or how it broke skin. She just thought she had a really nice suit but it was routinely being destroyed. But rather than take note of the pain, Fougasse gasped, her talon hand cupped over her mouth.

“Are you all right?” She asked, astonished at the cute whelping sound Kei made.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Accidents happen,” Kei wiped off the blood from the cut. That only made it more apparent with blood on her hand.

Again, eyes wide, but this time, there was no pretense: Kei really had been caught.

Fougasse, no longer caring about sullying herself, dipped her finger in the cut. Again, Kei winced and hissed.

The (otherwise) refined lady pressed her finger to her tongue and let the taste of Kei’s droplet of blood simmer. At first, nothing. But, after a few seconds, she pulled out a handkerchief and turned her head to cough up what she had tasted.

“Astonishing,” Gibassier noted, as he stroked his beardless chin. Kei gave him a glare as if to say, “you stay out of this.” Of course, Gibassier didn’t listen.

“So interesting,” Gibassier continued. “I’m sure I saw you taste blood and enjoy it. So why is it that you have blood of your own, something only a human should have?”

After clearing her throat and probably tearing it to shreds in the process, Fougasse gasped with a damaging question as well, “and why does it taste so awful?”

‘Bombarded’ may have been the right word. Not interrogated. Just bombarded.

“Are you, perhaps, a damphir?” Gibassier suggested.

“Or not a vampire at all, but just someone who can imitate one well?” Fougasse accused.

Of course Kei went with the easier question to answer first.

“What? Like a child of a human and a vampire? I thought it was well established that we’re infertile: we can’t get pregnant, we can’t get anyone else pregnant. Sometimes I’ve thought how it might be nice to be able to get someone else pregnant, but I wouldn’t want that for myself, you know? And it’s more of a curiosity than a desire.”

Neither of the regal vampires said a word about Kei’s little aside. They were still trying to wrap around what Kei was supposed to be.

“What are you?” Fougasse tensed and bared her fangs as the words oozed out of her.

Kei sighed and outstretched her arms. Fougasse could have taken it as a gesture of, “go ahead, ravage me,” but it was more like a slouch of dejection.

Sometime near sunset, the three vampires set out past the false suburbs they were in and trekked through a patch of forest as they made their way to the mountain path where the ogre resided. Maybe optimistic, idealistic, even, but there was a hope in the air that this whole mission could be ended in one fell swoop. Forget optimistic, it was a pie in the sky. It was in a realm past where pigs flew. And Kei saw at least a few flying pigs. Of course, she’d look away, noting that if she took too much note of them, she’d get swept into the strangeness.

The whole time, there was a silence which Kei didn’t mind, but Kei was also not foolish enough to think the silence meant peace. However, if she paid the tension too much mind, that too would heighten the tension. Nothing made things more tense than acknowledging the tension.

Of course, acknowledging the lack of acknowledgment was also an exercise in redundancy.

Besides the rustling of leaves or the vague notions of bird calls, there wasn’t much sound to be made. Upon approaching a puddle, Fougasse finally broke the silence.

“My apprentice!” She huffed and puffed her cheeks. “I do not wish to dirty my heels with such mud! I demand a piggyback ride!”

For good measure, she stamped her feet. Kei would have pointed out that doing so would track dirt, but had a better idea.

“Why not ask Gibassier? He’s taller and probably stronger than I am,” she pointed out to her so-called “master” or whatever it was she was supposed to call the snooty french bread.

Actually, that was as worthy of a title for her as any.

“Nay! I asked you, my apprentice! Do not tarry now! Crouch down and let me on your shoulders!”

Kei chuckled and shook her head. Maybe she really was going to get away with everything all over again.

See, those piercing bloodshot eyes, like cat’s eyes, haunted her. They flickered off and on in her mind, but then, Kei ended up chalking it up to a reflex after the small vampire shut her eyes once again. Even if it was a reflex, the very idea that she could be caught and faced with any sort of consequences...that sent a shiver which Kei thought herself prior unable to feel.

Her casual step just in front of the puddle, complete with a crouch where her knees nearly touched what looked more like a bubbling, lava-filled mud pit. Kei gulped, or maybe swallowed her pride. Whichever sounded better She dropped her arms against the ground and bent her wrist so that her palms were behind her.

“Up you go, my lady,” Kei had to search for spit so as not to sound dry and displeased.

Fougasse trotted over. Of course, as usual, Gibassier stood aside and watched with a cock-eating grin. Maybe he was the true Kei and Kei was just a wannabe Kei. Ouch. That was too painful for her to wrap her head around. The truth was probably more like he wasn’t given anything to do and without an assignment, he had the risk of fading into the background.

Again, no overthinking it.

“The solution is to Jack, but not Jill,” Kei said as if they were words of wisdom and not just her thinking aloud. Or was that dreaming awake?

Fougasse’s heels dug into Kei’s palms and Kei winced, but did her best to not make a sound, even if a faint hiss spilled from her. Her knees buckled and dipped into the muddy pit, which despite its bubbling, she felt it not at all hot. Quite cool, actually. Which might have been worse.

As if through a telepathic message, Fougasse seemed to say:

“This is revenge: for having sexual relations with another woman when you know you belong to me. I will ruin the clothes she gifted you. Revenge for lying to me about being a full vampire when you’re nothing but a fake. For your dishonesty, disloyalty, and discordant behavior. For all that...I will treat you like there’s nothing wrong. I won’t acknowledge that there was any hint that I’m aware. And that will be my ultimate punishment.”

But then when Kei thought deeper, she realized Fougasse wasn’t sending any telepathic messages, and thus could relax a little.

As Fougasse propped her legs up on Kei’s shoulders and had her hands over Kei’s skull as if to say, “I could crush you right now and there’s nothing you could do about it.” Which, if that’s what Fougasse meant, it would have been easier to have just been honest. Kei limped along the muddy path while Gibassier seemed to walk to the side and avoid most of the sickening mud. As if it cast a spell on her stepping in such filth, her energy sapped away while not a speck of dirt nor debris landed on her. She swayed about, nary a care in the world. Kei thought back as to whether or not anything about her ever encompassed the world. Once they were through the muddy path, Kei’s legs were shaking, and so close to toppling over, dirtying the both of them further. If Kei didn’t take action and speak up, she knew she’d have to take extra actions.

“Too bad we’re vampires,” Kei turned to Gibassier and decided small talk was the best solution. “Sometimes I think it would be nice to roast marshmallows.”

“Oho? What’s stopping you?” Gibassier asked while tipping a hat. Kei half-wondered when Gibassier got that hat, but then again, he could wear whatever he wanted at any time. Stupid magical vampires and all.

That’s another thing? When’s Fougasse going to teach me magic? I thought that was the whole reason behind calling me “apprentice”, Kei thought before replying to Gibassier:

“What do you mean?”

Her head jerked back as she walked away. To where? Her head in the opposite direction in which she was walking.

“Sleep with you?” Kei spat, as if the words themselves were a muscle spasm.

Fougasse, in her sour and salty sweetness smiled. She was so small, like porcelain, but far from delicate. In fact, her presence was much more commanding than Kei’s could ever be.

“Yes. Even a vampire needs rest, and the sun is rising.”

Ah. Right. That’s what she means.

The scene earlier in the neighboring rental played out. Kei and some curvy woman. She was already starting to forget who that person was, and besides the overall shape and how good it felt at the time, she could barely remember what the woman looked like. There was a shriveled body of some kind of arachnid-looking creature. A bloodless, crumpled corpse. Something once human.

Fougasse trotted over to the kotatsu like a child frolicking through a field of sunflowers and dandelions. That was another detail Kei didn’t consider upon her first meeting: how old this bratty aristocrat was when she died and became a vampire.

Kei shrugged.

Once she acknowledged how awkward a situation was, that’s when it became awkward.

She waved her wand and the kotatsu disappeared. She waved it once more and two futons sprung forth next to each other. Despite them being two, they were close enough together to become one...fuck. Kei didn’t even need a metaphor to see how this was simply the least sexual sex she’s had with a lady in a while.

“That stupid ogre is so tacky, don’t you think? Making these facsimiles of a typical suburban home, but he doesn’t even try to keep the environment consistent. So indecisive, that fool. He doesn’t stop to consider how it might feel for potential inhabitants. You orientals have a word for this, don’t you? ‘Feng Shui’?”

Kei chuckled. She forgot how racist the upper-class could be.

“I prefer the term, ‘sparks joy’, but sure,” Kei wasn’t in the mood for arguing. After all she saw and would likely soon forget entirely, she was tired as all hell.

“See? You agree with me!” She smiled wide.

Kei didn’t need to say anything else. At the rate she’s had, everything was sunshine and rainbows, happy all around. And sunshine and rainbows could be dangerous.

She gave a slight smile as she crouched down and curled into the futon, a blue fish pattern. Fougasse’s had a similar pattern, but with green fish. There was a plain, white triangular pattern on the edges for both.

She was a side sleeper, though only when she had a plush to cling to (something that wasn’t something she had thought about in quite some time), otherwise she preferred lying face-down in a sinking, soft feeling where she could suffocate in peace. Of course, like the vampire stereotype, she had plenty of experience with back sleeping, but it was never comfortable.

Both of them lay side by side. At first, on their backs. But maybe due to similar environments, both ended up asking the same thing:

“May I use you as a stuffed animal?”

Both gasped and covered their mouths. Fougasse, rehearsed. Kei, a little more scripted.

They gave each other a single nod with a smile plastered upon their doll faces. Each, using each other in a warm embrace as their futon had become one with each other, and so too, must the master and apprentice follow suit. Likewise, Kei and Fougasse guided each other into a dreamland more pleasant than either of them had ever experienced.

But that was just Kei’s fantasy. Instead, Kei awoke on her back with Fougasse holding on and legs folded beside her just two mere hours before noon.

That seemed to be a strange recurrence: no matter what position she slept in, she always seemed to wake up on her back. Worse, Fougasse was stronger than her small stature made her out to be and Kei was practically in a vice grip cuddle. She tried to pry herself free, but found it akin to trying to lift a boulder up a mountain.

This isn’t forever. But this? This tests me, Kei thought, bleary-eyed as if she hauled bags of coal under each eyelid.

The ogre’s words echoed throughout Kei’s head. Both inside and outside, as if a voice or a hum which only Kei could hear. It was haunting. And then there was what Fougasse said: “anything mortal becomes twisted. We are immune because we are already supernatural in nature.

Maybe it wasn’t those exact words. She couldn’t recall. It was just before she fell asleep cuddling the one who uttered such words, but that didn’t mean they were that fresh. Sleep was more fresh, yet there she was, awake and decayed.

She reached into her pants pocket. The pocket which she could reach for and not the one with a slender leg pressed against it. She pulled out a perpetual rotating swirled teal orb with a crystalline sheen. Since she didn’t get any phone reception in this other world, she had to rely on this device that allowed her to communicate with the man who sent her here: Gustav or Klaus. Every now and then, she wanted to refer to that carpet clerk as Klaus, but other times, Gustav sounded better. What was she to do?

She pressed the button and called him up. He answered right away with a hoarse and dry, “hello?”

“You never told me the ogre could transform mortals into his minions!” Kei hissed into the orb while keeping her voice low.

“Didn’t seem relevant,” guy’s nonchalant voice betrayed a more sadistic streak. “What’s the problem? You’re not mortal.”

“Very funny! I’m only a vampire right now because of the drug!”

“You’re ‘on your way out’, aren’t you? So you should have no problem.”