Some real passing tips from a pre-T trans guy
I’m gonna preface this with a few things.
First, no, passing is not a social construct its something trans people need for comfort and safety. If you have the luxury of not wanting to pass, don’t comment on my shit with “UwU you don’t have to pass to be trans” of course you don’t but we fucking want to.
Second, I am pre T and pass well enough to be stealth with a cis male roommate, but I am incredibly lucky in that I am naturally masculine. What works for me may not work for you. I’m sorry if it doesn’t. This advice is all subjective and if you find that the opposite works better for you, more power to you.
Third, some people cannot pass without hormones no matter what they do and I’m also sorry about that.
- Ditch the super baggy clothes. They may hide your curves but they only accentuate lack of muscle. You may pass but as a young boy. If this is your thing ok but I know most of us hate that.
- I personally prefer neutral or earth tones. I don’t like to wear super bright colours, as they just tend to be more feminine. This is a super subjective one but it all plays into style. I have the style of a 90s teenage boy (and sometimes a skater boy) and it works, I pass. If you have the style of a little boy, you’re gonna look like a little boy. If you have the style of a butch lesbian, you will probably look like a butch lesbian (unless you’re on hormones).
- I am small. And being so small I find that mens shirts don’t fit me well, especially button ups. It’s ok to shop in the boys section if you need to, there are some ok looking clothes.
- You can pass in womens clothes if need be. It’s a little harder but it can be done. Avoid womens button ups because they accentuate the tiddy. Avoid V Necks.
- Avoid tight clothes. Wear slightly loose pants and generally wear them on your hips.
- Men’s button ups can be tricky. Some people pass in them, some don’t. I prefer short sleeved ones, but if you do wear them, rolling the sleeves to the elbow and keeping them unbuttoned with a t underneath is ok. This can look butchy if you aren’t careful. If you can afford it, get one tailored to you so you can wear it to things like job interveiws without looking like your shirt is too big and wrinkly. Sweaters over button ups is nerdy but actually looks ok.
- Target and Old Navy can be good size wise, they tend to sell smaller pants (only down to like a 28 tho). Goodwills mens section is smaller than their womens section, and their pants are usually not in smaller sizes. However its a good place to get shirts. If you have thrift shops targerted at teens, those are some of the best. Here they’re called Platos Closet.
- Shoes are P easy. I prefer my knock off vans, but yours should go with your style. If your style is casual and chill, knockoff vans work. If your style is classy or somth, a pair of boots or dress shoes might be better.
- Shoe lifts. You can get them on amazon for a few bucks. They don’t change your height super drastically but if your self conscious about it, they can be confidence boosters af.
- Wearing a belt can help disguise curves.
- Looking nice can go a long way to boost confidence. I’m not saying you can’t wear sweats or basketball shorts all the time, but I am saying that looking good feels good. Confidence can go a long way in passing.
-Socks. For some reason the style for guys rn is long socks, usually with a design on them, with cuffed pant legs. This actually looks p good if it goes with your personal style. But otherwise, your socks are up to you, most people aren’t paying attention to them.
- Following the modern mens style for your age also can help you pass.
- “But Oliver, what about individualism? If we’re all following these tips or the modern style, how can we be ourselves?”. Individualism is v important and can aid in passing too, because when you’re being yourself you’re more confident. So if you want, throw all these tips in the trash and do whatever you want. Or you can add in bits of individualism, a loud belt buckle, cute socks, some pins, a nice hat. Whatever floats your goat.
- Jewelry. This is also part of individualism. Generally don’t wear dainty jewelry. I personally often wear thick rings, mens rings. Hoop earrings are feminine unless they’re the really small thick kind. Gauges are unisex. Piercings actually tend to be feminine if not done in a way that accentuates masculine features. Maybe thats just a personal opinion.
- Short hair is not the end all be all of passing.
- You can pass with long hair, but guys with long hair don’t style it like women do. Look up long hair styles if you want.
- For those who do prefer short hair, barbers can be scary, especially pre T. I go to unisex places. They don’t have to be super expensive either. But not super duper cheap because messing up your hair can wreck your confidence.
- When getting your hair done, ask for square shapes. Don’t be afraid to ask for a masculine cut, sometimes you have to speak up. Avoid the flippy undercut honestly, unless you really like it, you know the one trender haircut they all have. I prefer skater boy hair or 90s rebel.
- I have cycled through every colour possible for hair and I’ve always found that I pass better with darker hair. And especially natural colours. Bright unnatural colours are more feminine and again, trendery.
- Binding and packing don’t guarantee that you’re gonna pass.
- But yes some people are gonna look at your boobs and think woman.
- Packing is less about passing and more about comfort, unless you’re wearing super tight pants or tights. They can make you more confident and less dysphoric but most people don’t pay attention to yo dick.
- Don’t pack super big. Just no.
- Bind safely or ruin your chances of top surgery later on.
- Don’t buy cheap binders. You will fucking regret it. Underworks, GC2B, Flavnt are the main ones that I know to be safe.
- You can get a soft packer on amazing for like 12 dollars.
- You can also use a sock if you only care about having something there and not about how real the dick itself looks.
- STP packers can be amazing, but expensive. I prefer the ezp but fat guys usually have trouble with that one (not in a mean way its just made for smaller guys). Do a good deal of research before buying an STP and practice in the shower and at home until you can do it perfectly every time. Or else you risk pissing yourself in public.
- This is completely, 100% subjective but some behaviors are gonna get you written off as either female or gay.
- Manspread. Don’t take up like 6 seats but spread its ok. Try to keep your body squarish. When crossing your legs, try to do it with your ankle on your knee. Idk how to describe that sitting position lmao.
- I naturally walk masculinely, I always have. Don’t sway your hips. You can move your shoulders a little tho. But unless your going for wanna be gangster, don’t want like it.
- Be more monotone and talk a little slower.
- Don’t force your voice to be super low but do practice talking in lower registers.
- Mimic the kind of guy you wanna be. You wanna be a rebellious type? Mimic the bodily behavior of one. Wanna be a gentleman? Mimic one.
- Don’t wear makeup. I shouldn’t have to say this but… Seriously the most you should do is darken your eyebrows subtly. Makeup beards don’t work. Masculine contour is obviously makeup.
- Shave. It just feels good and gets rid of peach fuzz. Also.good practice for T.
- Excersize regularly. I don’t care if you start at once a month. It makes you feel good, endorphins and such, and it makes you feel more masculine. It also helps you be healthier and is just good practice.
- Don’t force it. If you’re not comfortable, people are gonna notice.
- Remember that the real world isn’t like tumblr. Most people aren’t gonna call you he if you’re wearing a dress with your tiddies out. Maybe when you’re on T, but seriously why would you even want to.
- Find what works for you. Experiment. Its ok to go through 100 different styles before you find yours.
- One person calling you she doesn’t actually mean you’re not passing. People are weird, sometimes they mess up even with cis people. It happens. Don’t freak. You don’t even always have to correct them, just give them a confused look like “who?”.
- Don’t be upset when you correct somebody. Just be like “I’m a dude”. If they keep calling you she after you say that, and they don’t know you’re trans, you might have to out yourself to correct them. If they do know, ditch them.
- If possible, keep transphobes outta your life. I know its not allways possible but it does certainly help your mood to not have to deal with them.
- I personally don’t hang with most openly trans people and especially not trenders because I don’t wanna be associated with them. Yes. People will judge you by your friends.
- Dont clench your jaw to make it more masculine. All that will do is make your jaw sore.
That’s all I can think of, feel free to add on.
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