After seeing so many people not only outraged at the depiction of “self-cest” in Loki (where they actually avoid any possible incest implications or otherwise unhealthy aspects of such a relationship) but also calling it cringe or inherently cheesy and boring, I wanted to write down what I find fascinating about the concept and what I genuinely think sci-fi, fantasy and such should explore more (after all, that’s what these genres are for):
Seeing and interacting with yourself (be that an alternative-reality-you, you from the past or any other kind of a double) not as an image in your head, but in the flesh, gives you the opportunity to judge and evaluate your person as that of another human, to detach your qualities and emotions from what you, in your own mind, feel and see them as they are. Self-love, in its traditional meaning, is unconditional: you do not love yourself because of what you are, but because it’s you. You will have no other, being you is inescapable. Not only that, but in a sense you are everything around you, because you do not see things as they are but as you would see them. Self-loathing works the same way, you hate yourself for being you, no matter what it is. By seeing yourself and being seen by yourself, you are able to shed this unconditional hatred and forgive yourself and see your flaws and face the uncomfortable truths about you.
There always will be parts of yourself that you cannot share, whether because you’re ashamed or because they are literally unutterable, impossible to express. Imagine having someone who’s so like you that they can understand, can feel what you feel more than anyone else in the universe. Imagine all the shame gone, talking to another person and yet feeling as comfortable as though you were talking to yourself. To be absolutely bare in front of someone else. To feel the comfort of being alone without feeling lonely.
What an incredible insight into yourself would it be to see the million ways you and your double are different and the million ways you’re the same. To see how your life experiences and paths shape you and how what you’re born with shapes you.
How would it feel to be violent to another person and feel no shame, for it’s you you’re hurting. “I’m ugly and violent and I hurt myself and I want to hurt you but it’s okay because you feel the same, because you are me and there are no boundaries and rules between us”.
Imagine studying yourself like you do with other people, making yourself both the subject and the object. Looking at your face, you back not through a mirror for the first time in your life. Learning your every facial expression as they appear on your double’s face.
Imagine all these subtle processes of the mind, all these layers of consciousness (you who feels and you who thinks, you who makes the decision and you who evaluates the decision, you the object and you the subject, you who speaks and you who hears) made flesh, made literal and multiplied by two. The ability to learn and heal that comes from this, the possible damage to your mind.
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