My AmazeBall Journey

Sometimes you just have to be goofy, make yourself laugh, do anything but get lost in the sadness around you. So much has happened around this house the last few days no one would believe it.. it’s like Jerry fu$&! Springer around here. My DIL has bipolar disorder, my daughter has anger issues, and the two collided in a high school argument .. in the meanwhile still trying to care for my son in law after his accident. I’ve spent many years in therapy, anger management was one of them… I learned to be “wooosa” in a lot of bad situations now, so picture everyone yelling and screaming like banshees and I’m over here yelling things like breathe and namaste! Like what the Efff, has everyone lost their damn mind up in my house… this I’m sure will pass in time but in the meanwhile I’m just going to stay in my zone … my lane…. Peace out of the house if I need to, but good lord everyone, get a grip! 

8 days home : My son in law (as I had mentioned in another blog) had a stroke while riding his motorcycle. This caused him to crash and sustain a brain bleed with Traumatic Brain Injury. When you have no insurance, the trauma centers get you stabilized and push you out the door. Because of COVID they seem to not be utilizing their in house rehabilitation centers! On day one coming home, it was scary! He wasn’t stable on his feet, he fell twice, and we legit had to be next to him every step he took. He couldn’t remember much except who we were. His thought process was all over the place and didn’t make sense. He wasn’t in reality! His motor functions on the right side were extremely weak, his speech was slow. He needed Assistance with shower and using the restroom as well as assisting in eating. 8 days later, surrounded by family and keeping him involved with every day routine and around his children, he is walking with a walker up and down the road, walking around the house without a walker, eating, remembering things, playing games with his kids, speech is starting to be more clear, his thoughts are more realistic and in real time! Everyday is another milestone of progress! I know that progress is usually fast the first 3 months and can slow down, but it’s the point of how much progress he made. We got health insurance in place, doctor appointments set up and the road to recovery is on its way! Family is everything and the best medicine anyone can receive❤️💪 I feel confident that in time he will make a full recovery… stayed tuned for Drews Journey

Just felt like not going back to the house! I need a break from all the craziness and sometimes I need to just worry about me and so the things I need to do! This is what self care looks like.. you just have to tell others no and let them figure it out for themselves! I make it too easy for my family to do what they want while I make many sacrifices. Not today satan, not today 💪🤘

Started this day off with a 10 mile bike ride! My legs feel detached from my hips! 🤣🤣🤣 But I got this 💩.. cheers to new attainable goals!!! Day one down and 364 more to go with lots of cheat days! 💪

Happy New Year! First cup of coffee for the the new Year… it’s a grain coffee because drinking regular coffee makes my heart race 🤷🏻‍♀️at my age we try to do things the healthy way… it taste really good and definitely makes you very regular 🤣🤣 I guess that’s one way to loose weight 🤘 what adventure awaits for the day… oh who knows stay tuned! I just woke up …

Oh Christmas tree! I spend the early mart of November being so excited that Christmas is coming! I’m a child trapped in this adult body! Now it’s like okay when can I take all the decorations down now that it’s over! Although I’m a believer in bad luck since I’m the one who either has the bad luck or none at all so I keep the tree up until New Years Day. 😏Anyhoo, When i was a kid, life was so simple. Fun. Not complicated in the least, although as that child I thought the world was coming to an end. Christmas was a huge thing and my parents went all out! The decorations, the food, the gathering of family and friends. We would eat ourselves to death and play a card game called 99. Oh the memories , how I wish I could go back! It all started to change when my step dad ( who was my dad because that man raised me as his own and we were inseparable) left my mom after 16 years of marriage. My mom who was already becoming bitter became more like stone. Sense of humor out the door, always walking around so serious, unhappy, snobby, and always that resting bitch face! A couple of years later she again married. I said to my mom, “This go around don’t expect me to call this one dad”! He’s a really nice guy but sucked out all what fun my mom had left inside of her. Then my grandmother died and boy she was the main glue! Nothing has been the same! I have tried so hard to keep tradition from my childhood. The games, the food, the togethernesses and being to my grandchildren the fun I had when I was a kid. Ya know , simple down right out family fun! It doesn’t work! My mom and her hubby just sit around and ignore the fact I’ve asked a thousand times if we should play a game and NOTHING but crickets. No other adult in this family wants to play games, laugh, or play that gambling game 99! Sh$t , they could win a dollar from each player but nope! Getting high, taking naps, being a humbug while their faces are stuck in their phones, tablets and switches are more important. Ugggh im just all in my feels tonight but maybe in about 6 minutes I’ll have that contact high with mixed menopausal emotions and start laughing for no reason while my face is stuck in my phone 🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤣 im going to whip this family into shape if it’s the last thing I do!

I’m still wondering why I have no privacy in the bedroom? Oh ya that’s right , toddlers have taken over my room! Party in Mema’s room 🤦🏻‍♀️