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this blog is an archive. follow @bluedprints

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if anyone has any icon sets by rodens/jupiter3/syd saved, let me know?
this blog is an archive. follow @bluedprints
this blog is an archive. follow @bluedprints
dorothy helps him push the bookshelves over, she pulls the kitchen curtains shut. she finds more ammo for the shotgun in one of the crates, clutches the shells in her shaky hand. she stands by his side by the windows while they listen to her—it—the monster—how it screams and pleads, hair rising on dorothy's neck, her knuckles white around her grip of the weapon. she hasn't put it down for a second, can't let herself rest.
there's only two of us. me and you. any other voices don't belong in here. any other voices are fake, warped, sick.
she sees the largest shadow, how it moves. slow, for a few chilling seconds—how it bends and leaves the backdrops of trees and forest to stand, look towards the house, missing hand, an entourage behind it.
then it's gone.
dorothy sits with her back to the toppled-over shelf while jimmy takes the chair. her shotgun resting over her knee, lightly bouncing, finger off the trigger.
her fucking phone is in the car. she's thinking about scotty. scotty in her soccer shorts at the edge of the playing field, watching her friends get picked up but still waiting. someone will notice, ask her about it, try to call but not get through. wayne will get the call eventually, he has to drive longer to come get her, scotty all frozen by the time he shows, her long legs shivering. dorothy bites her lower lip, picturing the two of them coming home to find the house all dark. she pictures coming home later, explaining the pancakes on the dashboard, the fucking tear in the roof.
pictures not coming home at all, someone finding her body and—
you wanna know what i think?
he brings her out of the moment. she glances up at him, dark and broad shadow that he is, sitting facing the door, the hot orange glow of cigarette embers.
"so this is your fault." her words are hard and choppy from the way she's shivering, the cold and the fear getting to her, but a stubbornness settling nicely on top—keeping her glare straight directed at him, her aim steady. "so you're the—"
claws on the window. she jumps up, watches his back as he leans out. doesn't hear the creak of the basement door, out in the hallway, her breath is going too heavy in her ears. only sees the shadow, large and sudden, looming over the corpse of a chair jimmy kicked behind him as he stood.
"jesus christ, jimmy, behind you!"
And as he ranted, and raved to his audience of three, he forgot his own advice. There had always been three, Dorothy, and the girl behind him, on the periphery of his vision, in the corner of his eye. Spasming void of meat rising from the shadows, teeth and gristle and sinew, human figment, rotting, growing.
Sneaky bastard.
And he turned, back to the door, spine engulfed in moonlight, chair hit the ground, cigarette batted from his lips by the abomination as he dodged sharply backwards, claws centimetres from his broken nose, he fired from the hip, slug shattering it's knee and bringing it low to the ground, and it laughed, terrible guffaw into the knight, flesh snow hanging in the air, heavy dust in the sinuses, in one swift motion he emptied them with finger pressed to his nose, and in the door crept elongated fingernail, rhino tusk, razor sharp, and he would be feasted on, they were vultures in the violent blue of the cold night, dragged into the night once more, dragged under.
Flashes of what happened. The gun in his hand became part of him, became his body, became his soul, the rains of the jungle, heavy thumping rains, it was all alive. They were screaming, the apes in the trees, howling, this wasn't for meat, this was for his family. Skull hits rock, and the ululating intensifies.
Landed in the snow. It was above the door to the cabin. That other place lay behind his eyes, death-wheeze, he knew he would return.
Pine-barrens. 2006. He's young, the gun is in his hand. Jimmy, please, don't do this. See, it was over, and Mikey just couldn't see that. It was already done.
Eyes peeled open, it was on top of him, and it was like he could almost see the person it once was. Yellow grave-stone fangs, chips of wood for teeth, dry putrid breath, dead black tongue licking at him, it took a bite, a taste, flesh ripped from his face.
The gun was apart of him. He wasn't like everyone else. Sickness. Bullets in his vomit, sunk to the bottom of the toilet bowl, refused to flush, refused to be ignored, he had tasted the lead in his belly.
At a thousand miles per hour, he spat shrapnel from his mouth, metal stolen from the gun, it shredded skull to nothing, writhing mass stopped dead, butted the pile of bones off him, taste of gunpowder in his mouth, sinking feeling, like acid comedown, like your brain is a used up battery, very suddenly needed to piss, badly.
For a moment, he lay there, in the snow, in front of the cabin, staring at the sky, dead from light-pollution from the nearby town, moon fighting against us, setting ourselves on fire, just so we can see in the dark, just to keep the monsters away.
Must he see his whole life, every time he dies? He's seen it all before. He knows how it goes. None of it's pretty.

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i'm going to remake! i'll carry over threads and connections but i just need a clear space. working on new blog slowly
@dxsole
Philo actually jumps when he turns and Rudy is just...there. "Jesus— Dude, what—" He can't be this skittish. He kills people for a living. He's wearing what can only be described as a serial killer mask. "I've gotta get a lil' bell or something for you. Y'can't be...creepy crawling in the shadows...popping up whenever you want! Announce your presence or something. Almost had a heart attack." He sighs, letting his heart rate drop back to normal. "Anywho, since you're here— you're gonna help me dump something." He gives Rudy two thumbs up. "C'mon, it'll be fun. Do not under any circumstances look in the bags— I'll get you a corn dog after or somethin'."
rudy isn't tall, but he is wide and dark. moves snappy and direct when he needs to, and is otherwise very quiet. a support beam, the one thing standing when the rest of a house goes down. something you stub your toe against.
"i don't want a bell."
that would defeat the purpose.
but also.
"i do want a corn dog."
It's fine. She doesn't complain because she physically can't. A waiter once brought her food that contained something she was allergic to, which she did specify clearly and concisely beforehand, and she still ate it instead of bringing it up.
It turned out okay, she had an EpiPen.
"You're very welcome." It does not help his situation that she's so bubbly and kind, but maybe it does ease his worries about her potentially having a big old binder about him. "And no need to say sorry; you're cold and it's, like, my job to take care of you— and my pleasure!" Did that sound weird? She bets it did sound weird— she really just wanted to let him know it was okay, she doesn't mind.
Although the offer to share is nice. "Well, thank you." Freida smiles, tugging her coat together a little tighter. "I make it myself— I scrape the chocolate and everything. It's," She glances around like someone could actually be listening in and trying to steal her peppermint hot chocolate recipe. "It's a special mixture of dark and white chocolate shavings plus a candy cane. That's why it's not too, like, sugary sweet? Just right, mhmm." And it only took her a few weeks to settle on the recipe.
the sugar is sticking to his teeth like a film, the warmth settling from the chest down. just another thing he owes her. he clings onto the thermos as if she'd handed him a living breathing being, and he's now tasked with taking care of it.
"i'm okay."
"i could have dressed better."
he could have done a million things differently.
to be less—this.
it's difficult to sip and walk. hot chocolate drips from his lower lip, which he wipes at with a knuckle wrapped in a sweater sleeve. he burnt his tongue but refuses to complain any more. can't have it both ways or any way at all.
"it's not far?"
❛❛ no? well, in that case – ❜❜ pink parts his lips, a considering sweep as he sets back in his own seat. one leg hooks over the other, wood giving an accompanying creak beneath him, and he gestures from his end of the table. ❛❛ why you? ❜❜
he sits back and she sits forward. a small shake of her head, that's not right, either.
"you mean, why not you."
❛❛ you’re not like the others. but you know that, don’t you? ❜❜
@bluedprints.
the way she sits in the chair, like glass.
"that's not a real question."

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i always feel like i need to offer a solution. or like, a plan. but i don't have one right now. i'm really not doing well at all and idk what to say about it other that i am trying to rest. trying to create and stay in worlds that give me joy and letting that be enough. i'm also not alone, and i'm trying to lean into that more. i appreciate you guys being here so much!
Solaris (1972) dir. Andrei Tarkovsky
it looks exactly like he thinks it does.
"actually,"
the last time they were together, josephine had confiscated luciano's pack, told him it didn't matter if he was immortal, he shouldn't keep up the habit.
she digs the crumpled pack out of the bottom of her bag, holds it out to him.
"your lucky day."
she's good looking, of course, but he sees the ring. and that's not really a habit of his anymore.
the pack looks a little bit like she was carrying it around just for him, though, waiting for however long. a few years.
he smiles, taps one out, and goes to hand it back.
"thank you. bad habit."
The Addiction 1995 | Abel Ferrera
It's hard to do anything Kingsley tells you to do with dignity, but he does it, removed from the separation of matter and being.
like a dog getting a treat. he makes sure pnuema's eyes follow the pinch of his fingers. if he can get his head far enough back, what are the chances he'll choke on the calcium?
kingsley drops the tooth back inside his mouth, bloody and coarse with sand as it is.

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:) @gildedlife
@dxsole continued
home is a wide ocean. home is a cathedral, is the inside of a kitchen she barely saw, is a kiln. weaver's broom and pine trees on the other side of the atlantic.
when she misses it, she likes to think that she never saw it. that barcelona was a secret, and she was just inside a room, and it could have been anywhere. she could have been born on the moon, or jupiter.
but probably venus.
she chews down on the straw of her empty drink. the ice cubes are melting, tasting sweet. until the shot glass is placed in her hand, and it looks like a new plan is hatched.
"i want a house. a large one, for a family. a yard to run in while you cook."
she downs the shot in one fluid motion, comes to life with its burn. her eyes scale the room down, looks for potential homeowners and potential victims.
"a house so big you have to call and for me to come running like a dog."