𝒌𝒊𝒔𝒔 𝒎𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆

Okay real question, are there any Tik Tok boys who are cute? like actually? Because all of the famous ones are ugly from what I’ve seen? You’re just so lucky that you’re too old for James Charles to try and collab with you. [Eve’s lips twist into a pucker before she smiles.] Oh really? I could go for a lil military wife moment. Omg waiting at the airport for you… it’s so romantic. [With Blu’s teasing, Eve squeezes her eyes shut.] God, I don’t want to think about it. He’s probably made a shrine of me in his mom’s attic. [Eve opens her eyes again as Blu squeezes her hand, and she leans forward for another chaste peck before resting her head on his chest.] Yeah… You can’t get rid of me either. I mean, you remember when we fought and I basically stalked you until you agreed to see me again. 

[He stops for a moment, genuinely mulling that question over.] I mean... yes? But they’re cringey, so it kind of cancels it out. That “mama” Asian kid is pretty cute, but... “mama”... yikes, you know? I have a youthful face and glow, James Charles would be on my ass whether I’m older than him or not. [He rolls his eyes with a small smile, giving Eve a weak shove.] Don’t act surprised, you’re gonna hurt my feelings. Besides, I don’t think I’d survive a day in the actual Army... Well, I don’t know. I don’t want to, at least. [He chuckles.] Let’s hope Crustache moved on to another victim. But in the meantime, just make sure he’s blocked anyway. [Blu glances down at her, his frown growing deeper with every word.] ...why are you talking about this? What’s going on? You’re scaring me a little, here.

I just have to kickstart the movement. You’d be the next uh… Noah Beck? Anyway, Fancam city for you once you’re discovered. All my comments are going to be like “bestie, please crop this!!” God I’ll have to go private because too many of your fans will be jealous of me. [Eve grins at Blu before dropping her arms from around his neck and letting herself fall onto her back on the couch quite dramatically.] At the very least. Mother Theresa has nothing on me. The Innocence Project? I don’t know her. [At his words, Eve sits up with wide eyes and pulls his hand away from his mouth.] Don’t say that! I don’t want to have slept with someone who probably went to jail for like… cuttting off women’s ponytails.  So creepy. [She cups his hand in hers and climbs onto his lap, phone forgotten while she looks up at him with a pout] Sometimes I just think about how special you are and how I love you so much and I get scared to lose it. Fun fact about me.. I’ve never known peace. 

Oh my god, don’t you ever say that to me ever again. How could you- How could you compare me to Noah Beck? That Cabbage patch kid on steroids, no thank you. It’s not his fault he looks so eerie but christ... [He shudders dramatically.] Mm, seems like you got it all figured out. I don’t like the last bit, though. I’ll go to war with anyone who gives you trouble, you know that. [He watches her, chuckling fondly.] I only know Eve Wilson! [He mirrors her unconsciously, his own eyes wider now.] Babe, I think he’d’ve cut more than ponytails. [His expression softens somewhat as he hears her out, squeezing her hand gently.] I love you too, Evie. Besides, it’s not like you could get rid of me even if you wanted to. We’ve been together for years, now. I don’t see that changing... Don’t go looking for problems where there’s none. 

Do you want me to get good at video editing? Or I could hire someone… We’ll make a million fancams and a bunch of fake accounts to post them all. What sound do you want baby? Hot girl summer? Levitating? I’ll do it it’ll be your sound now. Blu Sinclair fancams only. I wanna be on blutok. [Eve stares up at him very seriously while she rambles, only breaking when Blu starts chuckling and she can’t hold down the corners of her lips anymore. While they’re laughing together, she still has to dramatically cringe from the mere mention of her ex-boyfriend, despite the fact that she brought him up first.] I should get a tax receipt for that charity work. How much do we think my virginity is worth in terms of getting that refunded through the government? Like, if Joe Biden asks, I probably kept Crustache out of the prison system for the duration of that. He was going down an incel path. [When she’s met halfway, she sighs into the kiss and wraps her arms around Blu’s neck, leaning her forehead against his when they finally separate.] I don’t know babe. I’m scared to mess things up… Just cause we’re made for each other doesn’t mean I don’t do things you hate sometimes.  

[Blu laughs softly as Eve muses by herself, observing her fondly.] Mm, no, I don’t want you making them. ‘Has to be organic, babe. Levitating doesn’t have fancam energy anyway, more like a thirst trap. [The smile on Eve’s lips only serves to make his grow wider, forehead pressed against hers as he giggles along with her.] Oh, Evie, at the very least 2.5 milli. At the very least. That’s traumatic, it’s beyond what any nonprofit has ever done. Do we even know where he is now? [He gasps, bringing a hand up to his mouth.] What if he’s actually in jail? Could you imagine?! [His brows furrow a little at her words as he gives her a somewhat confused, but mostly worried look.] …And that doesn’t mean I don’t do things you hate sometimes, too. Where is this coming from?

Please… I’m praying to the Tik Tok gods that there are no Big Ed fancams. [She disolves into giggles at the thought, looking up at Blu and catching his smile as he laughs with her. His next words have her scoffing and rolling her eyes, holding herself closer to him still.] Agreed. Don’t date an ugly person. Their personality is never as nice as they promise it is. I’ve been personally victimized by pity dating with crustache, but… my guy now kinda blows him out of the water huh? [She stretches her neck to gently kiss the corner of his lips, lingering for a second before giving him two more pecks.]  I’m lucky. I don’t know what I’d do if you didn’t love me back, Blu. 

Baby... There are nothing but Big Ed fancams. The most frustrating part is that they’re so well done. Where are the Blu Sinclair fancams? I’m waiting! [Blu sighs dramatically with a shake of his head, but he can’t hold his act for long, breaking into soft chuckles. As Eve agrees with him, his eyes widen, invested in the argument and pointing her in a way that obviously means “right?!”] Ugh, oh my god, Crustache... I don’t even wanna talk about it. The fact that you’re so charitable is something I do love about you, though. All these fools have is the nerve. The audacity. They know they’re ugly, so they claim to be nice but really, they’re not. [He smiles at her words, leaning down to meet her halfway.] That’s not something you ever need to worry about, Evie.

[Their bodies always work together effortlessly in sync, as if it’s only second nature to always be touching. He draws on her skin with his fingers, and Eve runs her hand up under his shirt to rest on the bare skin of his chest, closing her eyes as she laughs quietly at his shock.] I know I know. He brought her to be his date at a wedding and he told the producers in the diary room that they “made love all night”. In her diary room, she told the producers she had to teach him how to kiss. I’m all for loving someone for their personality, but god… that’s a stretch, Liz. 

[With his free hand gripping his phone, Blu types into the TikTok search bar ‘Big Ed’, and smiles down at his screen when dozens of results pop up.] I don’t even know where to start... [He focuses his attention on Eve as she speaks, unable to hold back a couple of chuckles.] Stretch doesn’t even begin to cover it. Like, I’m sorry, I respect the ‘love someone for their personality’ shtick and whatever, but I’ve tried it, and ugly people are even meaner. What’s the point of lowering your standards physique-wise when all these people have going for them is ‘I’m ugly but I’m nice’? That’s a major red flag. No nice person calls themselves fucking nice. Might as well date someone hot because I know what I’m getting at face value, not being tricked into anything. Not everyone’s as lucky as we are, Evie.

... i'm listening, daddy joe.

blu sinclair as one of the five new and improved love languages; hands

like the epitome of intricate rituals, you were probably a ‘pulling pigtails’ type of kid. it’s hard for you to decipher your feelings half the time, and when you do, it’s even harder for you to communicate them. when you’re in love, everything tends to be magnified. you get riled up from a gentle pinky brush, you lose your mind over a shoulder graze. you’re a balled up fist waiting for someone to unravel you. i’m strong nine-tenths of the day – i have to be just to survive. 

[Every little noise of Blu’s is like music to Eve’s ears to the point where she doesn’t notice herself holding her breath to better hear him get comfortable beside her. She tilts her head up when he’s finally installed practically under her, and gives his jawline little kisses as he gets his phone out, murmuring her answer into his skin. She watched so much trash tv she could probably give episode recaps in her sleep, hence why Jaemin’s hidden love for trash tv was part of what helped win her over.] Basically, they took all the people who got dumped on 90 day fiance and gave them a tv show called the Single Life, that big Ed is on now. He started it out being a total creep and asking out his waitress in front of a filming crew and she said yes either because she was embarrassed to say no, or because she saw some big dollar signs there. There’s no way in hell she actually liked him, but they still slept together a few times. 

[Blu’s hand moves with a mind of his own, fingertips brushing ever so gently against Eve’s bare shoulder as she starts explaining the premise of the show.] Oh, she had to be embarrassed. The check helps, too. I’ve seen her, she’s definitely not the prettiest but she’s a good-looking woman. I simply refuse to believe she settled for the worm. [He gasps before bursting into laughs.] They what?!

Yup all trained. *nods* Yeah, I prefer to use a leash when walking him. 

Mmm... How long have you had him?

[His little pat to her thigh only has Eve cuddling in closer to him, practically purring at the connection. When he lifts her up just how she wanted, she pushes herself even closer to him, sneaking in a few nuzzles and kisses at his jaw while he walks her to the couch. She shakes her head in response to his question and lets him move her around as he pleases until she’s comfortable, then pulls the blanket even closer and falls over to lean onto him again.] The comfiest. We had such a big breakfast today. What do you think about skipping lunch and just having an early dinner, my love? If we get snackish I can wash some baby carrots or something?

[Blu stretches with a quiet groan as he makes himself comfortable besides Eve, the arm that had extended behind her head coming back down to wrap around her shoulders and pull her closer. He leans his head against hers and sighs softly.] Sounds fine by me. [He pulls out his phone and opens TikTok, immediately pausing the first video that pops up.] Do you know what’s the tea about this new show anyway? All I know, I’ve seen in increments over many parts but I’m actually, surprisingly, not in the know on this one.