Well, the good news is I've unfucked every day. The bad news is I am so worn out, that I haven't had the energy to do very much. I've kept my newly white sinks sparkling every night except for tonight, however. But tonight I had to clean up after a cook fest from last night that I left out in the foolish hope it wouldn't be I who had to clean it up.... Foolish. But tonight things are somewhat tidied, my son's morning is unfucked, and the terrible strawberry and cooking-oil dishes are soaking. Good enough for now, I guess. I hope to get back to serious unfucking soon... I hope to not want to sleep every waking, still moment I have as well.
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I am tired. Not that this is significantly unusual in my life or the average American, but I thought I'd start this post on a fact. Unfuckening fuckery continues, somewhat less epically today than previously. But the effort is still being made and generating feelings of awesomeness, so that's what counts. Until people make you rage and you angrily wash dishes, muttering to yourself and slopping water everywhere. But pretty soon my anger broke and scary sense of calm came over me. I told myself, UFYH says  not to be passive aggressive (I muttering PLOTS, you see) and I remembered my positive thinking goal, and I was so tired that it just... broke. I was like "Eh. Fuck it." and just kinda gave up and continued to wash and sing along to music. Fuck. Yeah.
1st 20/10:
Cleaned microwave
Attempted cleaning stainless appliances - failed
Unfucked my awesome huge milk bottle that had shit (old coffee) on the bottom with a series of soakings... you can't get in it to scrub :/
2nd 20/10:
Unfucked car, woot
3rd... rest of the time:
Cleaned ALL THE TUPPERWARE (which had just been magically found in the fridge and "soaked" in an inch of water for me to wash)
Started a load of dishes
Unfucked baby's morning
The Playlist:
Hot Patootie, Bless My Soul - Meatloaf
My Love - Justin Timberlake
Who's that Girl - Hilary Duff
Pocketful of Sunshine - Natasha Bedingfield
Haters - Hilary Duff
Sending Postcards from a Planecrash (Wish You Were Here) - Fall Out Boy
Bring Me to Life - EvanescenceÂ
Never Again - Kelly Clarkson
Focus Shall Not Fail - All That Remains
The Doom Song - Gir
Some People - Authority Zero
Saturday Night - Eve 6
All Around Me - Flyleaf
Girl's Not Grey - A.F.I.
All I Have - Haste the Day
Buttons - Pussycat Dolls
Papercuts - Gym Class Heroes
Seventeen Ain't So Sweet - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Need You Tonight - INXS
Take What You Take - Lily Allen
Run It - Chris Brown
Machine - Static X (I actually have no idea how this got on my playlist. But I listened to it anyway.)
Anesthesia - Bad Religion
Waking Up in Vegas - Katy Perry
Oh God. I'm gonna sleep now. Please, Baby, please let mama sleep in a little.
To your left, sink hell. Seriously, itâs bad when your vehicle to clean things is so fucked you canât scrub it clean. Though to be fair it's not usually gritty... I just sprinkled BKF. And to your right⌠miracles and elbow grease! And the clear sign of a time to take a break! Iâm gonna dance while I scrub that other half. You, my dirty bastard, are mine tonight. But Iâm gonna scrub myself afterwards, because man you should wear gloves with that stuff. I just have no clue where mine are.Â
BONUS: My mom came home mid-scrub of the 2nd half and she was like âOh wow! Itâs clean!!! But⌠You know weâre gonna get a stainless one soon, right?â Lol. I just said ââŚ. Well, we deserve to not have a filthy sink! I donât want to wash my babyâs bottles in a dirty sink.â She was SO happy. She kept coming up and rubbing my back while I was cleaning :)
1st 20/10:
1st half of sink hell
2nd 20/10:
2nd half of sink hell
De-fuck sponges, sink handle, drains, etc.
Cleaned the wet mess I made cleaning sink hell
Then I made some fucking tea.
3rd 20/10:
Unfucked dishes including awesome tea kettle
Cleaned cutting board
Unfucked baby's morning
Made baby's formula for tomorrow
Tidied newly unfucked(ish) den
The Playlist:
Jericho - Hilary Duff (Music is a No-Judgment zone. You can have good taste and like bad shit, and you know song writers get paid for what they do for a reason. But... I judge myself a little. I want to not like her So. Badly.)
Did Ya Think - The Veronicas
Take Me Home Tonight - Eddie Money
I Need to Know - Tom Petty (! <3!)
Radar Love - Golden Earring
You - Bad Religion
This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race - Fall Out Boy
Days Go By (Remix) - Dirty Vegas
Pressure - Paramore
The Only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide is Press Coverage - Panic! at the Disco
Bounce - System of a Down
Carpe Diem - Authority Zero
Tubthumping - Chumbawamba
Baby Boy - Sean Paul
The Remedy - Authority Zero
To conclude: This blog shit is kinda fun. I mean, no one reads it and all, but it keeps me honest! I'm having a blast!Â
Fun fact. If you go in the bathroom, turn the lights off, and say unfuckery three times fast the spirit of unfuckery will glow in your mirror for a moment before pervading your very being with crazy cleaning tinglies. You'll never get free again - truth. On a separate note... My laptop speakers are fucking up as I speak... it's actually really freaky, I can only hear weird piano and high background aaaa-aaa-aaaah. Weird. Anyways, day three of unfucking. I only did a little unfucking, but it still counts towards not breaking the chain!
Only 45/15: (Does it count as a 45/15 if technically there isn't a "break" as I'm only doing one spurt?)
Unfuck dishes for tomorrow
Put away baby's toys
Unfucked stickum on baby food jar collection
Unfucked/Restocked baby's changing station
Made baby's formula for tomorrow (it has to be concentrated due to weight issues, and thus it's a specific ratio I can't do bottle by bottle. I usually am making it while he complains in his swing in the morning)
Unfucked tomorrow morning for baby
Neatened DVD stacks
Unfucked couchÂ
Found my dad's personal computer charger (lost for a year)
CLEANED OUT DEN FLOOR FUCK YEAH
So I can put my baby down in the den to practice crawling and he can go a good few feet in every direction before I have to drag him away from something!! I am so fucking excited, before I had to sit with him or stay close and keep an eagle eye out for him to go to certain piles of shit. Now I can let him actually move! Lalalalalalala :D Granted I mostly moved things to the periphery of the room rather than the middle of the floor, but even that makes a huge difference - there is a LOT of shit. Our periphery is now completely fucked. But not baby space :) And the periphery is at least neat! Oh, hey. My speakers aren't fucking up, I just hadn't ever heard the distorted interlude on that album before.... oh.....Â
The Playlist:
Crank That (Travis Barker Remix) - Soulja Boy
Bitch - Pigface
Red Sam - Flyleaf
I Know, Huh? - The Vandals
Lovey Dovey - Local H
I Want to Conquer the World - Bad Religion
Don't Trust Me - 3OH!3
Fully Alive - Flyleaf
Somebody to Love - Jefferson Airplane
Devotion and Desire - Bayside
Genie in a Bottle - Christina Aguilara
Whenever, Wherever - Shakira (Who is replacing Christina next season on the Voice)
Don't Rush - Tegan and Sara
Broken Dreams - Authority Zero
Lithium - Nirvana
Thank You for the Venom - My Chemical Romance
Wishing I Was There - Natalie Imbruglia
Stand - R.E.M.
Black Horse and the Cherry Tree - Kate Tunstall
Flag and Family - Cursive
Dorthy Dreams of Tornadoes - Cursive
Say Aah - Lindsey Pavao
Somebody I Used to Know - Lindsey Pavao
It should maybe be noted that my iPod playlist is on shuffle, and so song choices are random (besides the last four, which were due to a spontaneous additional unfucking and thus from my laptop). I tried to the best of my ability to only pick upbeat songs, but I was weak for some nostalgic choices so some slower ones worked their way in there. I have 475 songs total, only two or three of which were accidentally added and thus will be skipped. My goal is to get the house significantly unfucked before I reach the end of the playlist. Everytime I unfuck I start from where I left off, not all over again. And this is day 3! Concluded with making usable baby space, the BEST kind of unfucking. Especially since the Marble Incident (he's pooped, but not the marble). I could dance! Well, I already did a little... to Black Horse and the Cherry Tree.
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Oh good God. Scrounged for money for coffee, dealt with mad dizziness (whatâs up with that? Shit is whack) and all of a sudden half of my keyboard keys stick. Hi, prelim hell. On the bright side I drove 40 minutes both ways to the Dr., and managed to squash most of my usual and varied driving-related anxiety! Success. I was gonna go to bed at a reasonable 11, but my mom called and was being so sweet â I couldnât resist J so I folded laundry while we chatted. Iâll admit, I havenât made my bed, but at least the pillows are at the top, and the blankets are neat-ish bunched at the bottom... no? Not good enough? Well. Tomorrow is a new day. On a separate but related note, I watched hoarders for the first time⌠The most frightening thing is that while one part of you screams âwhaaaa?â The other part goes âoh God, thatâs me in 20 yearsâŚâ So, Iâm gonna go ahead and do more 20/10s or 45/15s tomorrow. Because No. But now Iâm taking my meds and going to sleep. Of course, part of me is going to remain awake to listen for baby trouble pooping out that marbleâŚ. Bon nuit.
1st 45/15:
Cleaned 3 more terrible doors/doorways
Cleaned horrible cabinet faces
Washed more dishes
Cleaned high chair
Wiped down sink
Put whatever dishes left drying last night away
Get crumbs off cutting board
Futilely searched for vinegar
Then my little brother came in and cleaned the rest of the dishes and actually washed the cutting board! Then cleaned it again after we used it! Woot woot! AND I spilled formula and immediately wiped it up. Shameful I'm celebrating such a small act of basic hygiene but UFYH is no-shame. Noooo shaaame!
2nd 45/15:
 Folded all of my sonâs laundry â Iâll be putting it away when he isnât asleep, however.
Soaked more dishes (never. stops. This every day thing is a bitch)
The Playlist:
Wake Up Call â Maroon 5Â
Marry Me â The VandalsÂ
Intuition â Natalie ImbrugliaÂ
Dance, Dance â Fall Out BoyÂ
If the Govât Could Read My Mind â The VandalsÂ
Whispers in the Dark â SkilletÂ
Me & You â Cassie
I was on the phone for much of the cleaning though, so playlist not extensive.
My house is fucked. Has been my whole life. Everyone in it is working, or depressed, or overwhelmed, and we can't walk without stepping around/over/on something. And the minute you pick something up another thing is put in the clear space and you know, beyond a glimmer of a doubt, that you are the only person to ever touch the Gordion Knot that is the mess, so you sit down and cry because you will never ever be free. I've lived my whole life like this - but now I have an infant son who is just on the brink of crawling. He's everything that is awesome to me, but I can't put him down without watching him like a hawk because his curious fingers worm out small pieces of trash and debris that I couldn't see to pick up beforehand. I'm at the brink of despair because every effort I've made is crammed into times between school and baby and are immediately counter-acted by whirlwind trashtastic younger brother (who often refuses to help clean without monetary incentive - of which there is not much) and seldom aided by largely absent mother. Besides being unable to have company over, I have dreams about DCF taking my child away because I don't deserve him living like we do. Then... UFYH come along and swords the shit out of the problem. So. Here I am. At the foot of a mountain of shit. This begins my climb:
*No before/after pictures because my mother would be deeply upset if she ever found out I'm posting about our awful residence online.
In a 45/15:
Empty Dishwasher
One load of regular dishes (literally brimming to the top of the sink - most of which accumulated last week when I was out of town. Bleh.)
Soak another load
Clean good knives
5 Pots/Pans (including one with a ton of burnt crap on it. I may or may not have had something to do with this one... Thanks BKF!)
In a 20/10:
Clean 2nd load of dishes (Not as bad as 1st)
Clean FILTHY bathroom door
Clean less-filthy-but-still-bad bathroom sink
Clean relatively clean toilet (ha! I do actually put cleaner in from time to time)
Make coffee for iced coffee tomorrow (but really discover mold and break the coffee filter holder... damn, damn, damn!!)
Start Dishwasher
Soak dishes for little brother (please, God) to do in the morning
Clean griddle - oooooooh boy
A few notes:
I'm exhausted. Cleaning at ungodly hours is not to be repeated.
Don't wash dishes in the PJs you're planning on wearing... just don't.
I cleaned all of those dishes WITH NO WATER PRESSURE. WTF, SINK! WHY AREN'T YOU WORKING???? Just my luck. Stupidhead. Seriously, if I turned the faucet to the side it still fell straight down.
Dear Clorox Wipes, I know you're like cheating, but... I love you.
Old Bacon Fat. The longer it takes to get off my skin the more it creeps me out. I am Way. Creeped.
The Playlist (I'm mostly putting this for myself):
Tattered on My Sleeve - All That Remains
She Drives Me Crazy - Fine Young Cannibals
The Runaways - Anberlin
Amnesia [Radio Mix] - Chumbawamba (?)
Hate is a Strong Word - Plain White T's
New Sensation  INXS
I Choose - The Offspring
Objection (Tango) - Shakira
Birthright (Beta 1.0) - Celldweller
Abacadabra - Steve Miller Band
Love Story - Taylor Swift
I Will Deny - The DwarvesÂ
Mind Your Own Business - Pigface
A Call to Arms - Bayside
The Bad Touch - Bloodhound Gang
Survivor - Destiny's Child
A Pirate's Song - Scarlet Grey
Drones - Rise Against
Love Song - Sara Bareilles
Bury Me Alive - We Are the Fallen
I'm Not Okay (I promise) - My Chemical Romance
Feel it in My Bones - Tiesto Ft. Tegan and Sara (which is why I have the song)
Decoy - Paramore
Stricken - Disturbed
Istanbul (Not Constantinople) - They Might Be Giants
Me & My Old Lady - The Offspring
So far I feel.... very slightly less overwhelmed, but mostly just tired. Here's hoping baby sleeps in, and I feel a renewal of cleaning passion tomorrow. I think I may start the day by making my bed ;)
UPDATE:
Baby did not sleep in. This morning when I put him on his playmat, he magically found a marble nearby and - you guessed it - ate it. I saw him grab something in his hand, stare speculatively at it, and (in the middle of my dive) eat it. It all happened in a few seconds. Luckily he seemed way more bothered by my efforts to retrieve/make sure he didn't choke than the marble itself, and it went down with less of a fight than I put up. I'm taking him to the Dr. later to make sure all is well, but luckily for me (this time) it's a smooth, non-toxic item that shouldn't fight too much coming out. This is a Mother. Fucking. Sign. My baby deserves better than this, and even while watching him my floors are fucked enough for him to find things. No More.Â
