Blotched Poems

Unhealed wounds of his reality,

My heart is in a debate

Haunted by monsters of infidelity.

Bottled and broken,

I am still suffering in pain.

Cause the only thing beaten,

Is the heart we shared in vain.

_ mine<copyright>

There’s a hundred plain faces

seeming lost in nothing

The back-alley Lutherans

file languidly to their cars

The laughter of recess

scoring the background

Here I am

Naked in thought

& clothed in confusion

Another evening

blends into itself

& becomes the Night

Cold desert crime

acted out by shy inbreds

& a family gang

If someone made god,

what can we make of ourselves

What stories will they say

when you’re almost forgotten about

Tender golden years

spent on a quiet farm

w/ a loyal dog

(The last harvest)

Rambling patrons

Voyeurism

The hills of South Dakota

Caravan of nomads

at dusk

Children & their concept

of Jesus

Contemplation

in the shade

of August

**************

Dreams that replay adolescence

A mother’s warmth

Brothel-stench of open sores

The passing of summer

Hitler in grade school

Dead dogs

& first valentines

Chocolate milk

& copulation

Coping mechanisms

& classic sitcoms

Girls of the county fair

Buxom teachers

Bloated cattle

& piles of swine

Quaint strangers

catching a matinee

Prayers of America

Carnival-children

of the Midwest

working token games

Amphetamine mannerisms

& toothless smiles

Malt liquor

& petty vandalism

Cheap cigarettes

from the reservation

(Gypsy Americana)

Accident off the HWY

Simple folk w/

thousand-yard stares

& rural vernaculars

A victim of my past

Ignoring memories

until I recoil

in amazed horror

Forgive the future

& forget your sins

Sultry women

in dimly lit bars

The psychology of comedy

—————————————-

and get intoxicated on the possibility of us

us, together, one, not two

Ah, your eyes, too beautiful

your voice ringing in my ears, too good

your lips right here on mine..

(you are a poison too irresistible)

I do not know when to stop drinking

I do not want to stop drinking

and soon I puke poems about you

with shaky hands, heavy eyes

and an overflowing brain

Every night

I wring my heart in hopes of getting you out

yet all I get is pages and pages and pages

soaked in ink and heartache and want..

'Maybe when I am old and gray,

I'll remeber to forget you.

So when they ask me

What went wrong,

I'll say I never knew.' ©

I see you’re here again.

You do understand the reason we lost touch is because you decided to just pretend.

I use to really enjoy you, but now it seems like the spiraling never seems to end.

You have so much potential, where did it all go my friend?

I see you’re here again.

Asking for money from someone who can’t really afford to lend.

Manipulation at its finest, anything for that next fix just to be momentarily content.

When will these habits be put to rest?

All your sorry’s have been spent, what has happened to you my friend?

I see you’re here again.

There’s no use anymore in trying to pretend;

Haven’t you noticed yet, I am your only friend?

The river runs deep, leading you to become complacent and full of resentment.

Taking this and drinking that, an addict/alcoholics way to self medicate just trying to forget because anytime others see you, it’s just...

“Oh, here we go again.”

I see you’re here again.

This will be the last time, I took a moment to realize that my only friend has been my reflection through out my entire addiction.

Leaving only a path of destruction.

Listening to you never was good in the end, you were never my friend.

I hope I never see you again as I stop and take a look at my reflection.

I hope no one ever sees you again with your deception.

I hope there still is time for redemption, I’m ready to find the solution.

Signed-

appears soft, malleable,

and is indeed red, hot and beautiful.

But its main purpose,

as it cements,

is growth,

think about it so much

but

somewhere in me

are dreams of us

dancing silly in classy clothes

you giving me a purple flower

walking talking on the road

kissing and crying under the sheets

getting married and having kids,

sitting together at 80 and thinking

how we still love and live

like we always did.

*a strong plea for life

don't be silly

facts are facts

like sunrise and sunset

the ever ruling darkness in wintertime

followed by abundant blossoming

Yes-i know

of course you may have your doubts

feel depressed

drown yourself in self pity and sorrow

but you buy nothing for it

but less time to enjoy

all things life can offer you

and love?

if nothing else can do it

do you put that down as well

turning yourself into

a helpless creatures ready to be abused

by those in trouble with themselves?

don't be silly!

you can do better than that!

*

standing on the beach

shouting loud louder loudest

come on now whales!

but no , what do I get?

a rusty oiltanker

once again

my soul is scraped

*

judge you for

wearing your

tears on

your hands.

It doesn't matter.

Your life is too

full for them

to fit, anyway.

Let out your

sadness and

anyone worth

staying will

place seeds where

'as regards our love'...

she stammers

unsure looking around

as if expecting help from somewhere

support for whispered words

but all remains silent

the clouds hasty as always

the trees friendly onlookers

but of no use

to help her saying these words

with a firm voice

'love' she repeats with a sigh

what a tender word!

and though she looks

almost silly

curling her lips

I do what she doesnot

dare to ask

and kiss her

*