♱ — DEMON DANCE.

his disdain and disgust for the world had left him enraged in a manner he had not felt before. the veins in his body felt white-hot with anger, his mind a dark, twisted mass of every horror he would inflict upon whomever he deemed responsible for his plight. it was not simply enough to play pretend in regards to his comfort. there was no hiding that mass of rage, not really. and so his targets for his unrelenting fury came down upon ‘innocent’ humans in districts other than his own. he saw no error in unleashing stolen knives, sharp nails, even the rawness of his teeth upon them in brutal waves of release.

to soak in their blood was perhaps the only way to calm his rising nerves, whilst also sating some of his terrible hunger. with his sapped strength, he had felt eternally ravenous; maw still dripping with torn flesh as their innards spilled from his mouth. blood stained his hands, his white shirt now a dyed crimson. yet still he hungered. still he sought his justice.

there had been some sort of late night dining experience beneath one of the bandstands, tucked away in a park in some corner of cotes. wine glasses and bottles lay smashed along the decking, tore away limbs clinging to the torn-up tiles capturing perfectly the scenes of their owner’s attempted escapes. the coil of organs splayed across the gardens, soaking in their expensive champagne and dessert tray, but in the centre of it stood a still-living figure. it was still not enough. in his rage he kicked aside a freshly made corpse and it tumbled down the steps into one of the decorative streams, fish splashing out of the way. 

He knew. He knew, he knew, he knew. He knew he had had potential and he knew that he’d thrown it all away. He’d gotten too powerful too quickly and he had never matured out of being a child. A child who had lost touch with his emotions, but a child nonetheless. A child who had been scared of death and had all but thrown what he was given aside, but a child nonetheless. He had died so easily. He had died so easily.

Rui didn’t dare lift his head to look at Muzan, because what little composure he still had left would fall apart. It was already crumbling at the seams. He knew. He knew. Muzan was right – Rui was worth nothing. Had he ever been worth anything? No – he couldn’t have. He’d only ever been a poor misguided fool.

He owed everything to Muzan, and failing him meant he had forfeit the right to matter. Yes… that was right.

(Tanjirou’s face entered his mind, a smile too warm and a touch even warmer. Rui’s heart thudded loudly in his chest. I’m not pitying you, he’d said. And he h–)

ok idk how to fix the readmore but shvons reply is here

for a moment, the idea of ending the wretch was mused. it could be done so effortlessly that not a second glance need be spared. no second thoughts, no care at all. but where was the justice in a swift and easy death? had he the means, the master of demon-kind might have elongated that suffering until the end of time. the lack of his actions there was only really due to capability and time, not for the lack of his imagination.

and so rui would live with that hole in his face as a reminder, allowing it to slowly heal as per the genetics gifted to him by his saviour. by the being to whom he owed his very life and strength. it was a silent message. a reminder. that you are nothing without me. that you do not exist unless i command it to be so. your life is worth nothing. you are nothing. you. nothing. would rui fade away into dust? muzan would not have cared. some time ago, he had considered all of the lower moons dead. even the upper moons were quickly facing their judgement day. disappointments, the lot of them. but nothing went unpunished. nobody walked away from him without first suffering the consequences. 

and so the vermin collided with the earth, discarded like the unimportant waste of potential he was. to be forgotten to the sands of time. for nobody would care for a demon child. if muzan did not want him, rui was as desirable as the filth the rats crawled upon. “ i have no use for you. do you know what happens to demons who i have no use for? “ a rhetorical question, for the symphony of sobbing was an opera to his ears and nothing would dare shatter that sweet tune. “ they die. they are hunted and destroyed. you will rot in the earth forgotten and afraid. nobody will mourn you. nobody cares. “ 

a twist in the gut which muzan already knew he could tear. how important that familial love and want was to such a young creature. to such a lonely, stupid boy. the potential was that which he mourned. the loss of a strength and skill in something so pure and innocent. how unfortunate it was that rui was nothing but pathetic. 

in a perfect world, muzan would deal very little with the dim day to days of human-like; not like them in their weakness nor their state of mind, he did not find it comforting when they believed him to be one of them, as he pretended to be on this day, which saw small splashed of autumnal rain freckle the umbrella which he stood beneath. “ you simply have to visit archimedes! “ “ yes, indeed! it’s divine, especially during the daytime! “ the two women he had begrudgingly met and allowed to tour him about cotes seemed quite persistent with their chattering, but they were fast approaching the end of the line.

with about as much strength as he could muster, muzan offered them a polite smile, one perfected over many years of playing house. “ thank you, for everything. your tour and hospitality has been wonderful. now, you ought to be hurrying home! it’s getting awfully late after all... “ feigning concern came second nature. the ladies nodded and took each other’s arm before strolling off into the night. now, his own investigation could begin.

some time ago, one of the ladies had told him of a demon she had met, some seller at one of the local stands along the strip. such a cute boy, they had said, a teenage boy who had served them with a gusto unrivalled. t’was on this news which saw muzan wonder, umbrella still in hand as he approached the rumoured stall. another customer lingered ahead, causing muzan to pause patiently. studying the boy carefully, muzan could not discern much in the way of demonic biology, but he swore he saw something move behind him. in the dim light, it made it rather difficult to see. 

He couldn’t stop shaking. He knew it was visible, and he knew he – he shouldn’t be. The contrast between who Rui was now and who he had been then were too vastly different, even if the latter still horridly peered out from behind his eyes sometimes. He had been ruthless. Even when he had first turned, he hadn’t cared about having to kill someone; it had only been his parents’ disapproval and fear that had bothered him. He had just wanted them to be happy for him. He had just wanted to stop being a burden to them, and he had only made the burden worse.

It was only when he had remembered it all that Rui – that he –

“…”

What use do you have to me now? Nothing. What do you have to say for yourself? Nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing, he had nothing, he was nothing.

(All his desire to change – could he really throw it away so easily? Why was he so determined now to still prove his worth to Muzan, when he had been so willing to throw everything away before? He had so readily tossed aside his being a Lower Moon; he had accepted his failure, and no longer wanted association with having been what he had been, though he knew the symbols in his eye would never leave him. But now, now that Muzan was here–)

“… I… I have no excuses.”

He didn’t dare lift his head. If anything, he only deepened his bow, unaware of how small and pathetic it made him look (or perhaps aware and simply uncaring? He didn’t know, he didn’t know, he didn’t know his own feelings).

Muzan would – he’d know everything Rui was thinking about anyway, wouldn’t he? He’d be able to pick up on all of this, he’d know Rui remembered and regretted, and he’d – he’d punish him, and he’d – Rui’d die again. He was going to die again.

“I… had more faith in myself than I should have, and let myself act too brashly.” He was just a child. He was just a child. Of course he had acted too brashly – of course, when something that had always worked for him before had failed, Rui had let himself completely give in to panic. It didn’t matter how long he had been a demon; he was still a child. He was still so, so young. “I should have been more strategic – but I was not. I… I threw away what you gave to me.”

His nails dug into the ground, building small mounds of dirt underneath his palms.

“I’m unworthy of begging for forgiveness.” Had Muzan’s voice always been so terrifying, or had Rui simply been numb to it like he had been to the rest of the world – to the rest of his emotions? “I did nothing but let you down.”

He was going to die. He was going to die. Muzan was going to sever him limb from limb for his failure. He was going to tear him to shreds for daring to consider humanity and redemption an option. Rui had let himself chase after immature dreams here that didn’t deserve to come to fruition and never would. This was what he deserved, this was what he deserved.

there were few words to describe the disappointment he felt, the rage which swelled beneath his fine clothes and bled into his typically so calm features. had rui been able to lift his head, he may have spied that creeping anger; how the outlines of the veins within his forehead bulged ugly and aggressive, how his eyes were wide as if close to popping from his skull. how rui could even speak in his presence was insulting, how he managed to assume his breath worth a single moment in muzan’s company. even at his feet, he was still not quite low enough. 

“ a waste of my power... of my time... “ the words thickly laced with bitterness, it was any wonder he was not spitting down at the child from his height, as he leaned over the prostrated disappointment at his feet. “ you are worth NOTHING. you should just die right here. “ but he did not reach down and bring the boy to his feet. no. not yet.