primadonna girl ;

Love, understanding and hope was what had guided Lily Evans throughout her life. But little girls that were born into war eventually grew up. Those little girls learned through their worries and their fears. And when push came to shove, the women that those little girls grew up into bore arms for the sake of their life and the lives of those they loved. Despite everything, Lily Evans had chosen war. She had chosen to fight. And though the young doe was often peaceful, unassuming and often surrounded by her family, she did not run or cower when her fawn was threatened. She attacked.

As it was with Lily Evans, every single person that she’d ever loved was the very fawn in question. And Florence Blishwick had threatened it, just as surely as Damon Mulciber had. The only difference was now some time had passed since 5th year and Lily Evans had only grown more and more contentious as the war raged on around her.

Florence angered her, she touched at every single part of Lily that was on edge and angry since the year had begun and darkness loomed over them like an increasingly heavy cloud on their heads. And she was, after all, best friend to the likes of Marlene McKinnon, Dorcas Meadowes and Mary Macdonald. Her wand come out. Nonverbally, Lily cast a spell to bind Florence where she stood. The ropes, the force of her spell, tightened with every effort that she made to come out of them. Lily walked around the woman and then pushed her up against the bed’s frame - surprisingly not hard enough to be considered a shove. But she aimed the wand to Florence’s chin.

“ — I HEARD what happened. I SAW what you did to James and nothing justified that. You ATTACKED without provocation… Now, how does it feel?” Lily raised her wand higher but her voice lowered. “If you think that you are still the only woman in this room willing to get messy then I want you to think again. Because the next time this happens, I will not hesitate to return the favour.” She grit her teeth. “It’s takes a lot to anger me, Florence… But the moment you lay a hand on someone will be the day that I no longer bite my tongue when it comes to you.”

Lily had been lucky--she’d been loved, had her own sort of fan club since day one and practically rubbed it in everyone’s faces prancing around as a favorite. She remembered her, and Florence had been filled with a jealous rage every time she saw her, walking around in handed down robes and carrying tattered textbooks in hand. She’d heard Lily had been kind, loving, everything everyone wanted but Florence had never experienced any of that from the other. Instead Lily showed her true colors and proved she was a slag who’d stolen her man when Florence had finally gotten everything she’d ever wanted. 

The spell hit her like the weight of bricks, and Florence, ever committed to the role, gasped in terrified shock, instinctively struggling and quickly realizing the binds tightened with each attempt. “I didn’t--you’re--you’re both bloody mad the two of you!” She screamed out, tears brimming her mahogany orbs and wanting others to hear, wanting them to witness Lily attacking her without provocation. “H-help me, s-somebody!”  

James didn’twant to listen to Florence. All thethings coming to light, all the things his friends told him, all the notionsthat she might’ve been something more that James wasn’t seeing. Marlene, Mary—Dorcas even heeded suggestion to saythe girl he called his was nothonest. There was more to meet the eye. “That must be really sad of you, Flo.”He said in that darkened sense, jaw clenched to control that eager hot-headednature. “You’re so desperate to beseen as someone in this school, you’lldo whatever it takes—beat people down, is that what you want? For all we knowyou’ll be calling people like Lily heinousthings…” James wouldn’t say the word. “You’re trying so hard to be someone thisyear when you were perfectly fine the way you were—you don’t need to be what people want or expect you to be!“ Were. When they’d been together last year, when he’d forgotten Lilyand focused on Florence. Perhaps that had been his first mistake, knowingbetter from the whispered words in his ear and ignoring them all. James hadalways been in favour of making his own choices when it came to people.

Maybe thisone was a mistake.

“Is thatreally what this is?” His brows raised slowly. “You sound pathetic, Florence. I’vebeen there, I’ve done this shameful jealously bit. It doesn’t look good on anyone, no matter how much make up yougloss over it to hide it. It’s not a good look.” He shook his head. He didn’twant it to go like this, hell, he’d been desperately concerned of her opinionbefore her views turned into an ugly sight. James was quickly, easily, notgiving a shit about her. Florencewanted to be this person, and James wanted to try and be better. He’d wanted todo the right thing—but who was he to pretend he wasn’t getting angry.

Though hewould’ve never raised his wand to Florenceunprovoked. Perhaps that was proof of his maturity—or his respect for the girlhe’d once called his girlfriend was enough, no matter her venomous tone. Jamesdidn’t even move for his wand, lifted and sharply colliding with the stone archthey stood under, the sudden crunchof bone as he let out a cry of pain, sharp flakes of stone broke from theimpact, as he rose and fell in the air. A low groan escaped once James finallycollided like a puppet’s who strings were cut,sharp breath rising as James felt the sheer painmove through his body, shaking hand moved to clutch his head. He didn’t lookup, glasses discarded in the sudden toss, as he looked at his fingers, slowlypulling back. Even in the blur, there was no mistaking the crimson that now stained his fingertips.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned and Florence Blishwick was the type to hold a nasty grudge. Everyone that hadn’t cast her so much as a second glance, those that deemed her inferior had made her list, and now James Potter was the ranked number one. “You’re trying so hard to be someone this year when you were perfectly fine the way you were—you don’t need to be what people want or expect you to be!” There wasn’t any sense in trying to reason with James--any sort of sincere lament that could warble through her lips were going to fall on deaf ears. She had a pretty little sob story that stemmed from her past but his mind and heart had been made up, locked like a fortress impenetrable by anyone but Lily now. Instead Florence too locked herself away, buried those old feelings deep within and became a force to be reckoned with. He’d noticed her, finally, after everything, only after she’d changed, and now he was gone--so what was the point of wasting anymore breath?

A coldness seeped through her veins, whatever words James had said before she’d shouted her spell vanished, and all Florence could do was stare with some sort of twisted fascination. Dueling was easy at Hogwarts, nothing more than an observed so-called ‘battle’, monitored by professors or those who knew when to jump in and prevent anyone from getting truly hurt. But to see James fly through the air, hear that sickening smack against the ceiling and fall with a satisfied thud on the corridor floor--she’d felt powerful. “This is a warning James. You will rue the day you made a mockery out of me--you and Evans will both suffer. I’ll see to it. No matter what it takes.” 

Date: January 12th Location: Gryffindor Dorm Room Availability: @blishmywick·

“You…,” she hissed, watching Florence cross the threshold into their dorm. “YOU,” Lily nearly screamed the word out the second time, her voice reaching an octave that had not been heard since she’d yelled at James to let Severus go all those years ago. “How dare you, Blishwick.” Her name was spat out with every ounce of anger as Lily marched over to her. “How dare you show your face in here and expect that I wouldn’t try to do EXACTLY what you did to James Potter. You evil, heinous, bitch.” She seethed, her tone on the urge of rising again. But then her tone dropped - cold and unshaken. It was a low and threatening sound that dripped with venomous intent. 

Lily was up close and personal with Florence, a hand raised as if she were on the verge of slapping her but held herself back. “The next time… you raise… a HAND or WAND to someone that I care about…” Her hand shook as it started to come down. “— will be the last time you have either of them.” 

He could seethe recoil, the way anger was fuelinghis now ex-girlfriend—once she accepted the fate James was trying to breakbetween them. He could see that dawn, that shift when her anger got the best of her. James amended something to that, didn’the? He knew what it was like to be hot-headed, arrogant, a shield withsomething damaging “We kissed.” He said soundly, unquestionably. “We ended up spending a lot of time together overChristmas, Florence, and we talked. Weboth want to try this.” But he couldn’t until he broke it off with her. A scofffell. “I didn’t shag her, you always jump to the worst conclusions.”

His voicerose when he shook his head. “No—no youfucking chose not to get to know them! Sticking your nose up in the air likeyou were better than Remus and Peter—likethe only one of value was Siriusbecause he came from money and that’s allyou saw. You knew nothing of myfriends. And you didn’t change. I did.” He expelled a loud sigh. He wastrying to do this the right way, buthe was an arrogant twit when Jamesdidn’t mean to be. He could feel itcoming on, that hot-headed spell pulling the wool over his eyes. ·He didn’t want to snap, no matter how quickit simmered under the surface.

Somethingugly rose in the need to defend Lily against Florence. The way Florence spat Lily’s name like it was some poisonousfood she’d almost swallowed. “Flo—don’t play me, you loved the idea of my name more than me, we both knew that was thegame this time around. You don’t think I didn’t see that? You don’t think I don’tknow you?” He took a step forward. “Maybenot—Maybe it won’t be anything and I’lllook like an idiot, I bet you’d love that right now.“ A darkened smirk fellover him, looking like that boyish prick who hurt who he wanted when he wanted in the years previous. “—Butat least if I got the chance she probably won’t lay there like a corpse andcall it a skills she has in bed. Don’tact like there wasn’t advantages for bothof us in this.” The more she sneered, reared this ugliness, the less Jamescared for her feelings, some sense of validation. “I’m done explaining this or arguing this. There’s no point. We’re done, Florence. Endof. I’mchoosing Lily over you.”

“Kissed. How bloody virginal.” Florence tittered, thoroughly amused at the idea now and laughing at the sheer irony that it was her of all people being dumped for gutter trash like Lily.·“You didn’t shag, and I suppose I was jumping to the worst conclusions·when you acted like you’d been caught with your knob down her throat at the Yule Ball for something trivial as hand holding.” By now the facade was off, the veil was pulled, and Florence finally felt free. Free from policing herself around James in hopes he’d bring her to the top. They could’ve married and Florence would’ve just as easily divorced him for all he was worth and run off with someone better. He was merely a stepping stone for her future, but now she was starting over. Unplanned, and Florence hated·being caught off-guard.

Annoyance over her skin like goosebumps, eyes rolling as James began defending his precious little friends·yet again.·“Yes, here we go with your hard-on for your little gaggle. It’s tiresome, James, really, we get it·you lot are friends and we don’t need it shoved down our throats every bloody day of the week. Believe me, no one is looking at your pathetic attempt to be cool so why don’t you all just grow the fuck up.” Anytime they were near, the sheer immaturity of them and the way James sunk to their standards was disgusting. Florence felt she aged 5 years anytime they were near, and no amount of skin care products could vanish that.

There was a darkness that blossomed with James’ sudden spike of rage, his instant defense for precious Lily Evans, calling her out and claiming he saw through her act. He hadn’t, she knew that, and if it made him feel justified to claim he did so be it. Florence knew the truth, how he’d been wrapped around her little finger, how she stole him from his friends willingly and how he relished in the attention she gave.·“I would love·that! Truly! The thought of you going through all of this·and putting it all out there for Lily Evans only to be heartbroken beyond repair. Oh, it makes me giddy. It would be even more amusing if I were able to orchestrate her destroying you from the inside out. The poor, pathetic Golden Boy who didn’t want it all and had it just within his grasp only for it to be ripped away.”··

I’m choosing Lily over you.

But it was the mansplaining of their breakup--it was a trigger within her that caused Florence to snap--wand withdrawn at lightning speed from years of practice to be number one, to be the best. From rags to riches, to prove herself.·

The spell was already on her tongue, fury and anger boiling with that spat out words--·

“Alarte Ascendare!”

“What areyou talking about—there’s no spell—“His voice sounded clear, refuting the accusation that Lily Evans would’ve ever done something like that. She wasgood. Better than he, better than most, even when she didn’t mean too. She wassmart, and dignified, and fiery and unyielding in convictions she held near anddear to her.

But she didn’tcharm him to do some bidding, fallfor her. “No we didn’t take holiday together, Marlene invited her to my family’sChristmas party—“ He didn’t want to skirt the truth. Florence deserved that…right? “We talked, we sorted everything out. I came to terms after that… I can’tignore what I feel for her outweighs what I feel for you.” Which had diminishedthe second his lips hit Lily’s but he wouldn’t expel that.

“No—Flo,there’s no conspiracy to get you, you know I wouldn’t do that to you—“ He wastrying to make her understand but everything was shattering before him withinthe girl. “No—I legitimately got with you both times because I wanted too. Thecircumstances… they changed.” They changed afterHalloween, but James didn’t want to tell her that. Some things were better leftin silence. “They don’t hate you,they don’t know you. I do—“ Hands on his hips, he sighed. “I’m sorry, Florence,but it’s over between us.” He shrugged his shoulders. “There’s nothing I cando. Lily is the girl for me.” He said it confidently, like nothing could shakethat unquestioned bond. 

He had to make sure Florence understood the key point. “She’s the girl for me.”

“Of course you don’t think there’s a spell--that’s what happens, James!” And even if she could go on and on about the effects, lie about them, attempt to convince him, James was slowly becoming more and more an apparent waste of time. If he was snugged up the asshole of Lily Evans, he could die there. 

The Potter’s Christmas party. “The party I didn’t go to...” James had invited her, in an attempt to be courteous, polite, and Florence had declined in order to make him pine for her, working on her tan and being a full five-course meal when she returned. Of course Marlene McKinnon of all people would throw her boyfriend with her best friend, and while that had been beyond her control, she could make him feel guilty, like the scum of the Earth that he was for throwing Florence Blshwick away. James Potter would rue the day. “Did you...did you two kiss or--” Her voice barely registered above a whisper, accusatory eyes glaring like daggers. “Shag?” 

And if he had, that was guilt enough to eat him alive.

“Changed when? I...I haven’t changed, I’ve been nothing but devoted to you, James. And you..you never made an effort for me to fit in with your little friends...because you didn’t want me there. You had Lily Evans there the entire time, and I think there was a sick part of you that wanted her, and if I were there you’d know I’d realize it.”   

“I’m sorry, Florence, but it’s over between us, there’s nothing I can do. Lily is the girl for me. She’s the girl for me.” ---- “Well isn’t that just fucking peachy.” Finally her sardonic smile broke through, a sneer pulling across her perfect face, only making her look dangerous and enigmatic. Her tears dried, sobs all but erased and no trace of hurt blank on it’s canvas. “I gave you everything, James. Twice.” Clicks of her tongue as her gaze shifted from forlorn to condescending. “And even sacrificed my own needs in order to fulfill yours. Laying on my back and just letting you plow on through. At least I know Lily Evans won’t be seeing stars when it comes to sex with you, selfish prick.” 

It was just like last time. When Florence andhe broke up last time, there was that detrimental moment he saw somethingshatter within her. James didn’t want to see it again. He knew Florence, he knewthroughout the superficial notions, the materialistic gains—she cared. Shecared in all the right ways.

She almost cured him from a near-incurable crushon Lily Evans. But James fell so hard, so fast, an endless spiral down for theredhead. There was no one who could’vesaved him from that. “Yes.” He whispered. “After everything, it’s… her.”Because words couldn’t be put together, strung, thoughts into motion todescribe how important Lily was. How she shaped him, pushed him, challengedhim. She held his heart in her hand and only she could squeeze the life out of him.

It was aterrible curse to be so indebted to someone and so young. He’d forever walkafter that girl, James knew that. Buthe shook his head. “No, she’s not like that.” He didn’t want to dismissFlorence, her feelings. Everyone had told him of the hostility between both—butJames remained impartial. For a long time, Florence as still his girlfriend. Even if he technically cheated by kissingLily.

She’s not right for you, James! I am! Youknow that, I know that–my family knows that–don’t you rememberhow thrilled they were to hear we were finally back together? We’re destined,you and I…. Jamesshook his head. “I know, I know what you think, and I don’t want to dismiss it,but—she is Florence.” James wasdoing everything in himself to begentle, cater to Florence without hurting her further. No one said this wasgoing to be easy. “Florence, she’sit. It was never something you didit was me. I tried so hard to keepher out when I let her in I neverthought she’d reciprocate the same feelings.”

His handspocketed, as he dropped his head. “It’s not you, but there’s nothing to be done. I can’t explain to you or toanyone how I feel about her.”Because it seemed insane to sayfalling head over heels in love with a girl was redundant when he’d been doingthat since third year. “But she’s the one for me, Florence. There’s no changingthat, there’s nothing I can do, I fought sohard against it and… I’m tired. I’m tired of fighting, and pushing her away andtrying to stop something that’s inevitable…”

“She’s got you under her spell--” The disbelief dripped, tearful gaze finally locking onto James, briefest quivers of a corner of her lips. It was a crime being told the word no, a crime to be rejected when she had everything. James had been the perfect piece to her perfect life, and here he was voluntarily removing himself from it. He was a placement for the next best thing, the temporary hold for that person who could give her even more the second she left Hogwarts and the filth behind. 

And he’d beaten her to it--beaten her to happiness, beaten her to a so-called better life. “Did it take your holiday together to realize this...or have you known all along? ...were you just using me?” Cue the perfect, solitary tear to roll down Florence’s cheek. Ironic that the very thing she’d been using him for was backfiring in her face. 

It’s not you, but there’s nothing to be done. I can’t explain to you or to anyone how I feel about her. “Just a moment--anyone?” Her tears fell freely now, utter betrayal etched across her sharpened features, but Florence always spelled her makeup to not run. “Did they all know about your little rendezvous with Evans? Were they all behind setting you two up at the Yule Ball? Was everyone...did they all hate me so much they wanted me out?”

James wascool and calm. He felt terrible in the instance that he truly didn’t want tohurt Florence. That someone was out there to be with her. But it wasn’t James. It was simple. James was meantfor the truly unattainable redhead, the one who pushed him, prodded him. Toldhim off to his face in one instant and kissed him the next. James wouldn’t showit, the way he felt like he could fly without a broom, without a wand, simplyby being hers. His heart belonged toLily. He couldn’t blind it anymore, he couldn’t pretend or string someone elsealong.

“You’reright, you did deserve it, I was terrible to you.” He nodded, hands pocketed. “ButI still stand where I stand, I think it’s for the best of both of us.” He wasmore thankful he pulled her from her gaggle of friends. …did you see Evans over the break? Something in James broke whenher voice did to the silence, as he dropped his head. Stalling, he nodded hishead slowly. “Yes,” he half-whispered. “Yeah, I saw her a few times over break.And I can’t keep lying to myself, I can’t pretend I let go of what I felt forher. I can’t hurt you more than I have, I don’t want too. Florence, you don’t deserve that.” He went to reach out toher from habit, but stopped, pulling back. “I’m sorry.”

If she’d agreed to skip the Ball, if she’d allowed his hands to rove and claim her, could James and Lily have been prevented? Had it been a moment in time she’d missed and unintentionally shoved the two of them together? No, everything had been airtight. This wasn’t at all her fault, everything she ever did was done perfectly without flaw. 

Lily Evans was the one factor she hadn’t anticipated. And James had fallen for her Head Girl goody two-shoes ass-kissing facade. And who better than Florence to remind him of what he was potentially losing?

The silence was answer enough, dropped head the screaming yes of physicality and Florence had to dramatically look away and pretend to be perturbed. “After...everything?” She didn’t move when he pulled back, hands moving up to gently caress her upper arms, seemingly unable to look at him. Fury boiled white hot beneath her chest, but the exterior was perfectly sculpted to play the victim. 

“Everything that I gave you--we gave each other...you’re throwing this all away for her? Evans is...haven’t you seen how she parades around the school? Nose in the air--she hates me--and you..you’re just...a trophy for her...” Oh there was plenty more she could offer up about Lily, but they weren’t necessary for now. “She’s not right for you, James! I am! You know that, I know that--my family knows that--don’t you remember how thrilled they were to hear we were finally back together? We’re destined, you and I....” She swallowed, tears dotting her eyes and the perfect exhale to stop them from spilling. “Was it--was it something I did? I can be better, I’ve just been so stressed with school and--and you know...all the chaos--” 

He caughtsight of her, her expression, her words far more calloused than they would’vebeen to one another last year. She didn’t want to see him on Christmas Break,to come back and be able to forgive him.And it worked out. Christmas was spent with the girl he wanted, they cametogether to be something they wanted. Truthfully, in every way he might’ve notsaid to her face but it was there—James had completelyforgotten about Florence.

When shepulled away, he looked down—and shook his hand. “No, it’s not.” He murmured.The best way to do this was to let Florence look like she was the one whoexecuted this—no one broke up with Florence Blishwick—she broke up with you. Inhaling and exhaling sharply, thewords forming to ease her ego. “I was thinking about what you said, the nightof the Yule Ball. You’re right—with everything, I realized getting backtogether might’ve not been the bestdecision.” He paused for a moment, making sure she understood his intentions,as best as James could display them. “So I think it’s best if we…. Let this go.If we end it, and go on and do our own thing.”

No, it’s not hadn’t been the words she’d been expecting. Jewelry, a ring perhaps in an attempt to cement their bond and watch James Potter grovel and swear himself to her forever. To remove him from everyone but her. “Very funny, James.” The attempt was light and airy, the laugh an act for listening ears to catch, but as he continued the ice spread through her veins, gaze hardening and mahogany orbs narrowing into slits. “Allow me a moment to sum all this up. You want to end this. After we agreed the break was just what we needed to clear our heads, to give me the space I so justly deserved, and somewhere along the way you suddenly came up with the idea of ending this.” Color her shocked. 

Florence Blishwick was a strategic woman, brilliant, ruthless, and walked through life and people as though they were merely chess pieces standing in her way. But what James was saying had been the complete opposite of her plans. He worshiped her, kissed the ground she walked on, and for him to all of a sudden-- “...did you see Evans over the break?” They managed their way out, feigning hurt and the barest of wavers with the lilt of her question, the very cusp of breaking. 

Where: Third Floor Corridor With: James Potter & Florence Blishwick

James didn’tpace like the last time he’d done this. He didn’t fret or worry. He wasconcerned he might hurt her more than he intentionally wanted too. But Florencedeserved the truth—even if it was going to be strayed. James didn’t want herfury coming down on Lily. But he promised.He didn’t back out of a promise—and he wouldn’t back out of the prospects ofwhat he wanted with Lily. Finding the brunette—still entitled to being his girlfriend, as he stood behindher, a gentle tug at her wrist. “We need to talk.” He murmured softly. A smallnod of his head in the opposite direction, not wanting to do this in front ofanyone. “Will you come with me?”

@blishmywick·

The titles were still worn, scars at this point, their interactions tense and strained, and Florence could chalk it all up to one solitary moment in time: catching James and Lily at the Yule Ball. The glass ceiling had shattered, Florence was someone that prided herself on never being caught off-guard, but there she was, teeth gritting in an attempt to keep her mouth from falling open and gaping at the horrendous sight. But it was punishment forcing James to stay with her, even if she would’ve severed their ties right then and there as easily as getting rid of last year’s fashion items. The briefest of owl exchanges, Florence had been on a cleanse and male presence in her space hadn’t been optimal in her healing process. 

Hogwarts had reopened, but she’d been intentionally avoiding, always the elusive and the one chased. So when James finally appeared, it was a small victory, promising, but still unforgiving. “Of course, darling. Anything you need.” That now familiar sardonic smile curled on one side of her lips as she waved her friends goodbye. How strong of her to forgive him. Florence went along willingly, and all but relieved her wrist from his grip in one firm tug the second they were out of eyesight. “Well? Is this the part where you offer me something expensive for me to forgive you?” 

He should’ve seen that coming. The question that laid before them both kept him silent. Lie? Easy. Tell her the truth? James truly didn’t want to break her heart. And more to the point, he didn’t want to simply throw Florence to the wolves. Because at one point he’d cared for her deeply, and when he’d asked her out again, it was the same settled emotions–that he did care about her.

“Because I know you think something did, but all we did was air our grievances with one another.” And if that wasn’t skimming over what happened, he didn’t know what.

“Flo, I know what you thought, it’s why I didn’t chase you right away. As much as a slap you might’ve had coming at me would’ve been deserved.” A confessional fell from his lips once tonight, but James was so emotionally exhausted from being beaten down, that he finally pushed Lily from his thoughts. “Why would I purposely embarrass you?” That was the truth, stepping down by one foot, getting closer, tempting an unbalanced space between them.

Florence was his girlfriend. Florence wanted to be his girlfriend. End of.

“Nothing happened. Don’t you think if something did I wouldn’t have come back to find you?” It was a sense of truth. “I’m here asking you to forgive me, not chasing Evans. All that was–” It sat on his tongue. “It was a mistake to talk to her, to bloody even acknowledge her tonight,” This was James heartbreak speaking more than anything else, and he knew it was harsh to suggest. It would’ve been easier to live in a deluded state, rather than the one he was in now, where she knew mostly everything there was to know about him and his feelings for her. “But it won’t happen again.”

“Your grievances. Together.” The scoff rang off the walls as perfectly manicured hands let the physical air quotes hang in the air. “And what grievances could you two possibly share together?” From the moment James had spoken to Lily at the Yule Ball he’d stepped into the lions den. A fight with Florence Blishwick was impossible to win--she was stubborn, cruel, able to find your weaknesses, vulnerabilities and use them against you. 

He did deserve to be slapped, deserved a silent incantation to send him flying across the room or turned into the worm he was. Both of them. “Didn’t chase me right away or you checked on Evans first to make sure my glare didn’t have her sniveling all over her tacky dress?” And of course he asked the typical male question--why would he purposely do anything? Give them a reason to counter-argue, make you feel crazy, that you’re the one who is in the wrong even when caught red-handed. Typical male fragility. 

“I don’t know, James, you tell me. I’d love to hear your ideas. Or the real reason why you felt so compelled to seek out another woman tonight when I’ve done nothing but give you everything since the moment we got back together.” She’d had opportunities--she was a bloody Blishwick, practically salivated at anywhere she went and propositioned for a chance to get into her knickers.  

His words were only grating on her nerves, but Florence kept her composure, the look of contempt frozen on her painted features, arms folded and staring down like a goddess of judgement. “They whose guilt within their bosom lies, imagine every eye beholds their blame.” Florence let the words fall from her tongue, breathless, only for James to barely hear. “The two of you wore the same exact expression: guilt. So no...I don’t think you would have chased me had nothing truly happened. I think you would’ve let me cool off and then come to me in the dormitory. Instead compulsion drove you to fix your mess, to cover your tracks, hastily patch up any suspicion I had while it’s still fresh.” 

A mistake he’d so willingly went out on a limb for, so desperate to make up, to swear Evans off. “What did you think, James?” Her tone warbled on the melancholic, quiet fury boiling beneath her iron skin.” That you could have it all? You’re a lot of things but I didn’t take you for a prick.” 

Where: Outside the Great Hall, 12:15 am. With: James Potter & Florence Blishwick

James didn’thave a choice. That it was the right thing to do. With the Yule ball windingdown, with the weight of everything that sat on his mind, he needed to leave.She’d let go of his hand, of him forthe second time. The second time. Itwas flashes of anger and pain that lingered in his chest, as he took the strongalong the length of the Forbidden forest, needing a moment to catch his breath.Between Lily and Florence, his mind was spinning. Spinning because something inhim felt very guilty to have hurt Florence, even if she hid it. He knew herbetter than that. He knew he couldn’t sleep knowing this remained unfinished.Even if he wasn’t prepared to fully explain what happened on the dance floor,all the things he said. He didn’t need to hurt her more than he had. Enteringthe school, he spotted her, unsure of it was safe to still consider her his girlfriend,the vision in green, as he took longer strides than she would, taking the stepsby two and blocking off her path, even as her friends tossed glares in hisdirection. “I want to talk to you about what happened.” He paused. “I want to apologizefor what happened—but—nothing did.” At least… that much he would have to lieabout, until he sorted his own thoughts out.

@blishmywick·

You deserve better. 

Or something to that effect from her gaggle of girls. The dissonant voices bled over one another were enough to make Florence scream. She was furious that Lily Evans had been so plucky holding James’ hand in the middle of the Yule Ball in front of everyone. And that he’d just stood there like a deer in wand light gaping at not Lily but her. Everything she did for him had all been for naught that much was clear, otherwise he would’ve wrenched his hand away the second she’d gone for it.

Her victory had been a trembling Evans, auburn tresses shielding, back of her shoulder used to stalk past--out of shame. She knew what she’d done, otherwise she wouldn’t have fled, and all Florence had done with give James a once over and stalk right out. 

She knew he’d follow, it was just like him, as much as it angered her to know that. Maybe she’d learned more about him than she’d realized. James surged forward and all it took was a nod of dismissal for her friends to continue on. 

bloomingevans‌:

‘If you want to talk about that night…’ Her brows raised, surprised he even seemed nearly willing. ‘We can—not tonight. Too many listening ears.’ Lily squinted and shook her head, making it clear she hadn’t had the intention for them to delve into it. There was far too much to unpack there, far too many things she wanted to say and wanted to ask and wanted to know. At the moment, she didn’t care to figure out any of it. One difficult truth after another - baby steps. The music wouldn’t last forever and she was afraid of leaving without being honest about the one thing that had been plaguing her the most lately.

Are you blushing at a couple of snogging fifth years? Lily scoffed. ‘Come on, I would’ve thought public displays of affection like that would’ve made your stomach spin.’ “I am not. And they don’t,” Lily insisted quickly, knowing that the first was most definitely a lie and she sounded far too defensive. While it was not the display of affections that made her shy, it was the fact she was nearly chest to chest with James and he was talking about kissing when she knew full well what it was like to kiss him. And it was obvious that James wouldn’t believe her defensive assertion. Lily had no choice as she smiled sheepishly and shook her head. “Ugh. You’re unbelievable,” she muttered with a shy grin as they turned on the dance floor.

‘You don’t understand what?’ Lily shook her head. She had absolutely no intention to go into a conversation about her insecurities, nor to have James try to remedy them. She wasn’t altogether even sure if her heart could even survive James trying to list all the things he’d somehow fallen for. Lily was already on such a dangerous emotional precipice with a man who had someone else in his life. Even if that person was horrible and Lily could not fathom James lasting forever with that demon succubus, it was not her place to tell him that. That was James’ decision to make and she’d damn well be a hypocrite for calling him out on it that night, no matter how stupid it was. She simply hoped she wouldn’t ever have to.

“It’s been a long night, James… At this point, I don’t even understand what I don’t understand, just — don’t question it. Not tonight, okay?” she lied, mustering up a smile. Was she trying to confuse him to avoid having that conversation? Maybe. Was that a little rude and mischievous? Maybe. Unfortunately, Lily Evans was desperate for answers and unwilling to give many answers herself at the moment. Not when her head was still spinning after James’ confession. Lily was a logical being as much as she was emotional - it would drive her up the wall to be staying up all night thinking about their conversation without extra facts to consider in her theories and assumptions. She’d much prefer the route she was currently taking: staying up all night thinking about their conversation with some extra facts to consider. Now, at least, she had a few… James had never fallen for her for reasons other than a typical, uncalled for crush. She was starting to understand how that felt.

Lily’s brows furrowed and she looked at him with almost childish impatience. “Potter. This is no time to play dumb,” she complained, looking nearly afraid. Was he truly about to force her to say it out-loud? Could he not understand? Had he just… not thought about it as much as she had? She took a deep inhale, slowing down their dance as she looked away and painfully tried to gather her courage. “Okay. Okay.” Lily shook her head, looking back at him and stopping their dance. “Never mind. That night-” She sucked in her bottom lip before finally letting the words fall out. “IWentToGetSomethingFromThatCloset.” She said it all very quickly, nearly incomprehensible but she did not break eye contact with him. “I know you were there because… I was there too. In the closet.” Lily gulped, trying to think of ways to make this more light-hearted. “Well, I nearly punched you. Twice. And then I pushed you… and I ran. I’m sorry, I didn’t know what to do… I didn’t tell you earlier because I just-” Lily didn’t know how to end that sentence. She shook her head. “I don’t know.”

Sink or swim. That’s how James operated. Like a fully functioning boat, or a drowning guppy in the water, it was how he looked at Lily now. How somehow, he wanted this to sail out into the sunset. Like he had forgotten all the roadblocks. How he had a girlfriend. How he had someone he had said he wanted to try once more with, how he’d looked Florence in the eye and said he wanted another chance to work out further the mess of his life, but he wanted to do it with her there this time. And now he was looking at Lily like if he could’ve run off, if he could’ve taken her with him, he would have. The sun and stars and moon, and all that astrology bullshit could’ve stood in his way, but James had feelings, so unexplained, for the redhead in his arms, that she might never comprehend. Never know. He thought. As she shook her head now, he nodded. They’d have too. Many conversations, of many things to explain the many variances of whatever it was that happened the last six years.

He’d tell her what she wanted to hear. He’d tell her the truth because for some blink of an unmistakable moment, he wanted her to know every last ounce of him, every memory, every distant moment he wished he didn’t fall into her but he had, and why he had. But how could you offer that to someone who wasn’t yours? How could you suggest such a thing when you had someone already? James had never felt more stuck. “So—“ And James, regardless of the worries that flooded his mind, couldn’t help but grin slightly. “So you like public displays of affection?” Curiosity mingled with a feverous temperance to flirt with her as much as he could. As much as she would oh so willingly allow, given everything. “Interesting, interesting.” It was all he said.

It’s been a long night, James… At this point, I don’t even understand what I don’t understand, just — don’t question it. Not tonight, okay?  He nodded. “Okay.” He knew it was best. He knew it’d help her, so much, so quickly. Alcohol had loosened his tongue, set him free of the dark cloud that had hung over his head. Maybe that had been the problem, with distance, he didn’t find himself so dangerously tempted by Lily. With distance, he was able to keep the thoughts at bay, settle into the notion that she’d be this far off dream he’d never be able to get a handle of, and that was fine by him. That he could accept such a moment.

But she stepped back. Potter. This is no time to play dumb. And James shook his head. “I’m not playing dumb, Evans—“ He countered, wondering what the hell it was now he could’ve said to trigger such a response. That he stared at her incredously because he wasn’t sure what the hell it was that he could’ve done. His history had stood against him. IWentToGetSomethingFromThatCloset—James was almost tempted to have her repeat it if he wasn’t so certain she’d walk away without finishing her sentence. I know you were there because… I was there too. In the closet. He was still confused. But piecing the night together in his mind, a mingle of alcohol on his brain, the intoxicating notion that Lily had listened to him—

And then, if James had paid attention, the glass house shattered around him.

What took you so long?

J-

She’d almost said his name. Lips that weren’t familiar but blinded by the notion to get her off his mind, out of his body, a physical reaction. He needed a physical reaction. All he could hear was the words replaying in his head, as she’d said them moments ago. I was there too. He was tempted to ask her, the completely shocked look on his face. How he couldn’t explain his thoughts. After moments where it was nothing. Where James stood there trying to understand that the lips he’d thought about—that he feared was Bertha and hoped was Florence to avoid trouble—that he knew it wasn’t when she walked in and he was standing up in a pile of fucking buckets. That it could’ve been anyone—

“It was you?” James heard himself say. He’d kissed her. He’d kissed her in the way that he took what he wanted, where that might’ve not been the first kiss he wanted with her, intentionally gentler. That was his intention. That was what he was working on. But the echo of his own words—and hers. She didn’t know why she didn’t tell him—she just didn’t. “Why—why wouldn’t you tell me, all this—“ What if it had gone futher? What if she didn’t say something? What if he’d hurt her, his physical relationship with Florence was not what he would’ve bestowed on Lily. That Florence was used to the rough and tumble, that—that his mind was spinning. That words weren’t connecting, and the floor seemed to dissolve him whole on the basis that he, James Potter, had kissed the girl he’d always wanted.

All of this could’ve been avoided if you told me. He thought, but would never say.

“Why wouldn’t you tell me—I—I don’t understand.” James stepped forward, breath caught between a gasp and a sigh, as he reached out for her hand, pulling her into him. Staggered breath fell. “I kissed you.” He whispered, his hand lifted to her cheek. He’d forgotten everything. Forgotten the school, and the impending war. Forgotten their friends and his responsibilities, forgotten that parents still lingered and Florence was about somewhere. Those green eyes caught him, as they had on the stairs that night. “You could’ve told me—“ Temptation was near, turning his head from hers. If he lingered, not that he’d move, but if he gotten any closer, as close as he wanted them to be—he would’ve fallen in, created a mess. Worth it. He thought.

“Lily, we need to talk about this.” He knew it—and he didn’t want it to slip, he didn’t want to give into the notion that if she slipped into her thoughts, she would let it go, she’d fight it off. That he wanted to work through this with her, that he wanted to understand why—and James couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss. How the familiar scent hit him again as they danced, He was blinded. Blinded by the idea of Lily and not so much the potential chance he could’ve had her. “Please—“ He whispered, in ways that he hoped she’d understand in simple terms it was to understand, for her to speak to him in a safe space. They could’ve gone to the Common Room, no one would’ve been there.

“C’mon,” His hand intertwined with hers slowly, settling it down between their bodies as he turned—but James stopped.

Shock washed over him like a cold shower.

“Flo.” He breathed softly, coming face to face with his girlfriend.

@blishmywick​

Relinquished from James’ handsome side, Florence was the belle of the ball, relishing in the attention now that she was alone, speaking fondly and highly--gushing about her boyfriend, the details of her gown, hair and makeup, jewels sent from her mother. 

                         You’re so lucky, Blishwick! Those earrings are the size of my fist!

Quaint with their praise and screeching tones of envy, Florence bestowing it upon herself to grace those worthy with her presence and so generously offering promises of referrals to her parents. Natural lies that coasted off her tongue effortlessly, angelic features and delicate smile toward those she could pretend with, parents of the ones she detested in Hogwarts, and they all ate it up like piranhas in the water.  

                        You’re daughter is such a delight!

But it was never enough, was it?

                                                                       ---

Enough time had passed for Florence to notice James hadn’t returned to her side, supposedly at her beck and call for the night, and now making her wait. 

                        “Have you seen James?”                         “I-I think so...” The girl gulped, timid with her response, unable to look Florence                         in the eye.                          “Tell me now or I’ll cut out your tongue and make you wear it as a necklace.”                         “I think he was with Evans...” There was more, Florence could see it in terror                         filled eyes.                          “I’ll give you until three.”

It took everything in Florence not to slap the girl across the face right then and there when she finally said it--like a bomb went off and a high-pitched ring thundered in her ears. Dancing with Lily Evans? What an embarrassment for her if that was where he’d been spending his time, dancing with anyone but her--not anyone even worthy! That girl with her pompous attitude, nose in the air, sickeningly sweet and flirtatious with the staff, skipping through Hogwarts as though she’d poisoned the drinking supply with a love potion. All that quality time with James and their Head duties, she must’ve bewitched him with lies and deceit and woe is me persona. 

Her darkened glare was enough to motivate the girl to point in the direction of the dance floor she’d seen them last. Curse Florence for letting her friends distract her. 

And she stopped. Stunned. At the sight of obvious betrayal and filth. Hand holding like school children about to titter off and play What’s Under the Covers. But Florence kept her composure, eerily stoic, seething beneath the surface--anyone but Evans. 

“I’m sorry,” She said sardonically, words loud enough to carry through their short distance over the music. “Did I step on your moment?”