oh, i'm blinded by the lights

“aren’t you so cute,” cooed annie at the newborn perched on her knees, careful to keep her head supported. “you look just like your daddy.” it was soothing, to talk to her baby about her father, it felt like a secret shared. annie had never told her best friend that she was pregnant, in fact she had told no one who the father was at all. he was already gone when she’d found out, sat alone on the bathroom floor clutching a positive test, and it wasn’t news she’d wanted to break over the phone but one lie had led to another, and soon enough she couldn’t bear to speak to him, knowing she should have told him the moment she found out and it only seemed awkward to tell him now - by the way i’ve had your baby. so she had refused to see him, made excuses and pretended she couldn’t go visit till their once close friendship was strained. “your daddy is–” annie happened to look up, gaze caught on a familiar figure. “right there.” 

heels clack against the hard floor as she entered the room. “do you know how embarrassing this is?” anya asked, voice deceptively calm. she pressed her hands to her hips, there was a small part of her that did quite enjoy seeing them locked up. “being called down to the cells because they know you and i are...” she sighed, glancing down at them. “did you expect i’d get you out of here? i’ve half a mind to let you suffer.” 

“did you stop to think? all these years, how wrong it was to run?” anger subsiding, he wants to invite her in, to re-introduce her to their daughter, but he’s hesitant, he doesn’t trust that she won’t disappear again and he’ll be left to pick up the pieces. it had been bad enough before when their daughter wasn’t old enough to know why augusta left. but he thinks if their child realised that he had robbed her of a chance to know her mother, then she may end up hating him. "of course it can’t be the same,” after all years had passed and he had changed and their daughter was no longer a tiny newborn. “but.. and please don’t make me regret this, you should be in her life.”

She’s been on mute for the last half hour now, gaze flitting from her colleagues on the screen to her partner as they hover around the flat. It would be annoying, watching them go around whilst she’s trying to work, but it’s nice to have the company - the quiet background noise. She’s busy jotting down notes when she realises her partner is no longer pacing the flat, but on their knees beneath the kitchen table with a look that worries Minnie. “What are you planning?” mumbles Minnie through barely parted lips for fear she’ll be asked to unmute. “Babe?”

“repeating yourself doesn’t make it any less a shit excuse.“ the way he’d felt when he realised she was gone? utterly broken and betrayed? he never wanted to feel like that again and her standing in front of him, only made those sickening feelings stir. “you should have told me - spoken to me.” but maybe, a traitorous part of his brain piped up, maybe he hadn’t been there for her - too caught up in their newborn daughter and modernizing the farm to properly notice how much she’d been struggling. “you really thought the answer was to run away?” he sighed, the sight of tears in her eyes still made him want to pull her close like it had half a decade ago. 

he scoffed, she couldn’t do it, yet he had - and alone too, raised their daughter since her departure by himself, yet she couldn’t do it with his support. “we were young, but i coped.” he snapped at her, swallowing down bitter words he knew he’d regret. perhaps it helped that he had been bought up to nurture, that caring for things was just in his nature, after all he had tended to life stock and crops from a young age - but farming hadn’t prepared him for the terror of raising a girl, one who shared her mothers blonde locks and curious eyes. “and now? why have you come back now?”

she felt a little silly as he scoffed, cheeks reddening at his dismissal of her feelings. she couldn’t help it, he’d been her idol, her fathers friend and that idolisation had turned to affection now she was eighteen. she thought he’d be surprised, but she didn’t think her crush would be laughed off. “you think i can just turn it off? i want you.” voice utterly serious, sofia took a step towards joe, and placed a small palm on his forearm. “do you really think it would have said anything for a silly childish crush.”

he thinks it rich, when she says i can explain, like any explanation will be good enough. “what, were you taken against your will? augusta, tell me what was so bad about our live here that you had to run from your child.” and me, he thinks. he had loved her, been head over heels and looking at her now his treacherous heart stirs. he slides his palm down his face, huffing out as he tries to displace anger for patience. “well, tell me. you owe me that much.” he had thought about running after her, of looking for the love that ran from him but with a young child it had not been an option and soon after he had thought why should he follow a love that did not want him, so instead he had focused on the farm, on their daughter instead. 

they were the last person he expected to see standing at the entrance to the farm and his feet slowed in his approach. “it’s not… you… what?” shock evident in his features, he’s barely able to formulate words in their presence. max felt his grip on the box slacken, completely taken back his limbs were out of his control, unable to stop the heavy box from dropping to the ground (luckily inches from his feet) with a mighty clang. they looked almost the same as the last time he saw them and it bought back the now painful memories of the smiles and laughter they’d shared that night. “you were gone, you fucking left.”

she turns, body half twisted away, stopping to say; “it’s arrogant. you know that right, to think you can hurt me so much and that i will just continue to let you.”

Sofia felt beyond nervous, she was counting on this job. Clutching her resumé in one hand and handbag in the other, she waited patiently in the hallway to the office. The lady on the phone hadn’t told her much, just sent her the job guideline and she's hoping that the interviewer was nice. Hearing her name called and the directions towards the office, Sofia stood and straightened her skirt, moving towards the office. Knocking on the door, Sofia waited a few seconds before gently pushed the handle to let herself in. “Sir, it's Sofia Montgomery, it's nice to--” words died on her lips as she took in the face of the interviewer. Shit, she knew him. She hadn't been able to get him out of her head the past two days. “Uhh. I.. Fuck.”