I Am A Starving Autist

KILLING STANCE: TEN SOUL RENDING CLAWS

Kitten Hitsurugi Miu! Ryūshōsen!

Someone could knit a tiny little hat and put it on the bird’s head and I bet it would very much appreciate fitting in with the other hat-wearing birds.

Tech side of tumblr pls explain.

Thank you technology side of tumblr :3

You're welcome. That'll be one (1) child sacrifice, please.

Perfect for killing my enemies with a little holiday flair

ho-ho-homicide

nothing in the world makes me more evil than just being kind of annoyed

Oncoming Storm. Ugh.

I’m tired of advertising. All of it. I don’t want any ads even for things I like. Even if I would 100% buy it. It’s INSANE that we just accept that people can throw a business flier in our face at any time of day in any setting. Aren’t you mad? Don’t you just want to go apeshit?

I think it would be legitimately awesome if someone hacked a pair of augmented reality lenses to auto-detect ads in your field of vision and just blank them out like an ad blocker but like for physical ads.

i wish ads felt pain when you skipped them

Ok, what about your other three wishes?

growing up the rule was we were allowed to be openly disrespectful and rude to dad, but only if it was funny. if it flopped then we would have to endure a lecture about where we went wrong and what might have made it funnier. or, alternately, he would just say, "oh yeah? well i fucked your mom" which there aren't a lot of comebacks for.

“Dad, if I ever want your best comeback I’ll just punch mom in the stomach until she vomits.”

R.M. Renfield is an average person and therefore eats zero spiders per day.

i have been cracking up at this for the past 3 minutes

Chekov’s Schrödinger’s Occam’s razor gun cat: If Ensign Chekov is shown with a gun outside a barbershop filled with razors, the simplest explanation is that he will later wind up deliberately not using it when it would be entirely sensible for him to use the gun, get shot dead, then wind up not actually having been shot dead. Because he was thinking about pussy.

pro lifer blocked me on twitter for asking this but if embryos have souls, and then they're aborted, exactly how sapient are they in the afterlife? Are they forever doomed to float around with no thoughts in their heads? Is it like just animal intelligence like a little happy goldfish? Do they still have an embryonic form? I've always seen an assumption that child souls are still in child form so I guess so. Do the other people in the afterlife keep abortions as little pets? Will they stay in a fishbowl or are they too stupid + intangible and float right out again?

Ok, everyone roll a Dexterity check and add your Dodge or Acrobatics if you have it. Anyone in a 20-foot 45-degree cone who fails takes 20d6 Fabulous damage.

I want eyes the same colour as Yandros.