I Wanna Burn Your Soul

Leon was in another one of his whiney moods in which he complained more than usual about what was really bothering him.  Normally it would be something work related if he had to go into the office or the neighbors letting their yapping beanie baby of a dog outside and letting it bark for twenty minutes straight at five in the morning.  But today was different, today Leon’s biggest gripe was your growing collection of smut books.  Somehow or other he managed to convince himself that you were replacing him with some gorgeous fictional character whose greatest achievement in life was getting his generically plain, introverted, overworked neighbor to agree to hop in the sack with him.

He walked into the spare bedroom that you had turned into a small library and found you with your back resting on one arm of a wing-backed chair situated near one of two windows and your legs hanging over the side of the other arm.  And of course your nose was firmly stuck between the pages of another smutty novel.

“Why do you keep buying those trashy books, babe?” Leon’s whine could be heard round the world if he put in any more effort.

“Baby, I’m not replacing you with Fabio or the modern equivalent.  If anything I’m researching things we can try after you get home from a mission.  I’m not saying we have a boring sex life but every once in a while I want to try something different.  And if one or both of us don’t like it then my curiosity has been satisfied and we move on.  Besides, you’re much more than a handsome face.”

“Uh huh, is that why you’ve bought fourteen new books in the last week alone?  You really expect me to believe that you’re just researching gym rats that ride crotch rockets and wear masks?” He raised his brow, pointing to the stack of books that sat on the bookshelves waiting to be put away.

“Well, when’s the last time we role played, hm?  When was the last time you decided to throw caution to the wind and we did something, I don’t know, exciting that might get us caught?”

“Uh, never and never.” He deadpanned, confused about where your thoughts were going.

“Exactly!” You folded your book closed and sat up straight in the chair.  “I’m not complaining about your skills in the bedroom, you wear me out every time, it’s that I’m a little bored of vanilla.  We don’t have to join the mile high club but when we go on vacation and we’re both tipsy in the elevator trying to get back to our room, I sometimes wish you would manhandle me a little bit.  Push me into the wall, grab my face and kiss me, hook one of my legs around your hip and force a couple of fingers inside me.  I swear I’m practically dripping onto the floor I’m that wet.  Leon, I want more but there’s no sense in me asking because I know you’ll only say no.”

“So you think these books can give you more excitement than I can?”

“Yes, these books provide me with enough fantasy fuel for the spank bank that I can get it out of my system while you’re away.” Leon stepped further into the room crouching down in front of you, his expression unreadable.  “Tell me then, what’s your favorite fantasy?”

You took your time thinking about it, you had read so many books but the common theme among all of them was bondage.  But the more thought you put into it the more you craved something that would rob you of nearly all your senses; you drew the line though if a gag came into play or if your nose got covered up in some way.  Claustrophobia was a bitch and you were looking for fun not a heart attack.

“It’s dumb, you would never agree so there’s no point in discussing it.”

Pushing yourself out of the chair you skirted around Leon and the question further stating that you needed to start getting dinner ready.  You slid the bookmark between the pages and tossed the book in the chair, scratching Leon’s scalp as you left the room.

Leon’s mini bitch-fest drew to an end as his attention turned to the book sitting in your chair.  He knew better from prior run-ins not to lose your place but that didn’t mean he couldn’t take a peek at the page you were on or any of the pages in between to see if he could figure things out for himself.  Picking the book up he stood turning it over to read the back cover which contained a brief summary and a couple of glowing five star reviews.  Though he was certain these people were all paid to say a bunch of nice words to boost sales.

“He mounted her, parting her legs, giving the white inner flesh of her thighs a soft, deep pinch, and, clasping her right breast in his left hand, he thrust his sex into her.”  Leon quirked an eyebrow, his face screwing in confusion, “he lifted her chin, kissed her throat, and drawing his organ out of her tight sex, heard her moan beneath him.”[1]

Immediately he slammed the book shut, rolling his eyes and tossing it back on the chair.  If your fantasies included him waking you up with a good morning, beautiful fuck he could certainly oblige.  But the voice inside his head continued to nag at him and since you were busy working on dinner he decided to browse through your other books to see if he could figure out what was so appealing.  Leon closed the distance between himself and your beloved shelves wondering just how much money you had spent to build out your collection, if he had to guess it wasn’t nearly enough to compete with his collection of guns and ammo safely locked up in the basement.

His fingers kissed the spines of the books pausing on one that caught his attention; again he knew from prior experience how much these books meant to you and how possessive you were if even one was misplaced.  Leon took note of where it lived on the shelf before pulling it free.  As before he read the back cover, shaking his head except now he questioned why he was getting upset in the first place.  It was just words on a page, why should he care so much if you got lost in a fantasy?  If the first book taught him anything it was that he was being nothing short of ridiculous in thinking that you were trying to replace him.

“As Damon pressed his mouth hungrily to her warm nether lips, the maid’s outcry gratified him.  So responsive she was!  So damned silky and wet and ready for bigger things – and his was growing despite the way his pants cramped it.  He ran his tongue around the rim of her, nuzzling her soft curls with his nose.”[2]

Very quickly Leon put the book back on the shelf where he found it, his head shaking in disbelief at the images being conjured up in his mind.  He enjoyed eating you out but he’s never heard it put quite that way before.  But he still couldn’t understand why you had so many nor could he figure out what was so damn appealing.  The only thing he could really gather was that maybe he should fuck you more often in the mornings and that maybe you wanted him to put that smart mouth of his to better use.  Leon glanced down at his watch figuring he had time for one more before dinner was ready.

But the longer Leon stared at the titles the more things began to make a little more sense.  With titles like Unravel Me, Control, Conquest and Sweet Restraint he could take a pretty good guess at what some of your unspoken fantasies were, the lightbulb flashed above his head when it finally struck him about why you didn’t want to say it out loud.

You wanted to be retrained, you wanted that feeling of being helpless, craved something more wild and untamed.  Something more than vanilla.

The fact that you cared enough about him to consider his trauma, his primal instinct to protect you at all costs and place that above your own desires made him feel incredibly guilty.

“Babe, dinner’s ready.”

Leon was snapped out of his trance when your voice called him, glancing over his shoulder he found you in the doorway with your head poking past the opening and your hand resting on the door frame.  His lips tightened into a thin line as he acknowledged your presence; the moment you disappeared he dropped his chin to his chest wondering what he could do to somehow make things better.  He couldn’t stop you from buying books or conjuring up fantasies to help you escape the loneliness you felt when he was gone but he knew he had to come up with something.

Dinner was normal, you carried on as if your minor tiff never occurred and by the time you were climbing into bed it was a distant memory.  But for Leon it lingered, actually it festered to the point that he decided he was either going to write his own story, one that was so fucking sexy you’d get rid of every last trashy book you owned or he’d somehow tease from you every fantasy you had and do his best to make it a reality no matter how uncomfortable it made him.

Though given his past the first option seemed more doable.  Afterall it was nothing more than words on a page, how hard could it be?

“What are you doing?”  Leon crawled into bed beside you, resting his chin on your shoulder while the glow of the blue light on your phone illuminated your face.

“Nothing, bit of light reading before bed.”

“Don’t you ever get tired of reading?” The whine from earlier began to creep back into his voice.

“Nope, it stimulates me when you’re not.  Besides I’m almost done, I just want to read this last part.”

“Hmm, so what I’m hearing is that you want me to do more to shut your brain off, huh?  Like a computer, you need to be shut down for the night and restarted in the morning?”

You laughed loudly at that one, to his credit Leon was right – your brain needed to be shut down and restarted.  Probably more often than you even cared to admit.

“So what are you reading this time?  More smut?” he mused once your laughter had quieted down.

“Yeah, so you know how much I love that one zombie series that I’ve never missed an episode of?  The one where the first place they think is safe gets ‘sanitized’ by setting the air on fire and then they wander around for a bit and end up on a farm.  One of the main protagonists rides a motorcycle-”

“Oh, you mean the guy you tried to get me to dress up as for Halloween that one year?  What about it?”

“Well, I’ve kinda been reading some fan fiction that people have written and some of it is actually better than the books I have…”

Warm breath hit the side of your neck as you finished reading the last sentence of the story, you could feel the tension slither into the room and creep into bed only to make itself right at home in between the two of you.  Setting your phone down on the nightstand you turned your full attention to Leon noting the tired look on his face.  He was trying his hardest not to say anything, his lips disappearing as he fought against himself.

“Leon, baby, they’re just stories.  None of it is real.  If it makes you that uncomfortable I’ll get rid of all of the books, I’ll close the tab on my phone and you’re welcome to go through my history every day or every night to make sure I wasn’t reading anything you don’t like.”

The fact that you were so willing to give up something that helped you escape the real world for a little while just so that he’d be comfortable in his own home and his own bed spoke volumes.  But he couldn’t ask you to do such a thing; it would be a far cry from fair when you had already given up normalcy in exchange for the life or death uncertainties that came with being in a relationship with a government agent.

“No,” he sighed, pressing a kiss to your shoulder, “it’s fine; if it makes you happy then I can learn to live with it.  And before you even think about asking, yes I’m sure and no, I’m not going to secretly go behind your back and get rid of them out of jealousy.  I’d rather take my chances on a G-Virus infected rat than your attitude again over a missing book.”

Leon could tell by the uncertainty in your face that you didn’t fully believe him but were willing to let it go for now.  However he shouldn’t be surprised if he came home one day to find that you had in fact kept your word to get rid of the books.

Several weeks had gone by since then and during that time you noticed a change in Leon.  At first you really didn’t think anything of it until you had received the credit card bill for the last month and noticed that it was significantly higher than the previous month and there was no hiding what the charges were for or who they were made to.  So when he got home from work that night you made sure to make it painfully obvious that you were mad.

“Yeah, just like that, fuck me harder Daddy!  Fuck my little pussy!”

You had the volume turned up on the television loud enough that you were certain the neighbors could hear the overly exaggerated moans of pleasure through the wide open windows.  Horror was painted on Leon’s face as he rushed through the door scrambling to shut the porno off – he could hear it from the driveway as soon as he shut the car off.

“Babe, what the hell?!”

“Do you mind explaining why you spent a thousand dollars on pornos?” You kept an even tone in your voice to disguise your anger.

Leon’s eyes grew wide, he had gotten the notification that that particular bill would be arriving in the mail today and he was rushing home to get it out of the stack before you noticed it.  In all honesty he had no idea he had ran up the credit card that much.  His eyes shifted around the room in a panic trying to find an acceptable excuse because he didn’t want to ruin the surprise that he’d been working so hard on for you.  It was the day after your argument over your smut books that Leon decided he was going to write the best piece of cliterature you had ever read, that the books on your shelves would be gathering dust inside of a week.  But he had never written anything in his life except reports and had no frame of reference to start from.  One porno led to another and soon he found himself neck deep in a rabbit hole of free internet porn but he was frustrated with the ads so he paid for premium access.  Leon definitely found inspiration in what he saw and he was confident that what he was writing would put those movies to shame.

Hell, he would even bet that those fan fiction writers would be asking him for advice.

“Research?” His shoulders jumped into his ears, uncertainty painted in his features.

“Research, huh?”  You held the bill up and began reading the charges line by line, “tell me, what did your ‘research’ reveal after watching Sperm Diet five times?  How about all of these Throat Fucks hm?  Leon, there are at least seven different Throat Fuck movies listed on here twice.  Look, if you want me to deep throat you all you have to do is ask.  You know this, right?”

His ears burned red with embarrassment, his face scrunched and twisted uncomfortably, he’d been caught but he couldn’t tell you why, at least not yet.  Groans of discomfort filtered through the gaps in his lips as he tried to form some kind of apology.  His body crumbling under the weight of having to hold back.

“Baby, I want to tell you, I really do but I can’t.  I’m working on something really special for you and I don’t want to ruin the surprise.  I swear I’m not cheating on you or anything like that; look I’ll sit down right now and get the bill paid off, in full, and I promise I won’t buy any more movies, I’ll cancel the stupid subscription they made me buy.  Please, just trust me that nothing bad is happening.”

Leon was practically groveling at your feet under the weight of your icy stare.  You yielded, handing him the bill, warning that it better be paid off by the due date.

A few days after that you started notice that Leon was coming to bed later and later, some nights he’d be up well past midnight before you got out of bed to look for him.  Eventually you found him in the library sitting at the desk tucked under the window with his laptop open, the keys clicking furiously under his fingertips.  Even when he wrote his reports he never exhibited that much enthusiasm.  Many times you had to drag him away from the computer insisting that whatever he was working on could wait, that he needed sleep to function properly.  He would later give in after spending five minutes or so begging you to not look at what he was working on because it was a surprise.

Weeks had passed before Leon proudly announced that his surprise was finally ready.  He bounded through the house like a child on Christmas morning, his laptop open, beaming with excitement; he all but shoved the device into your face while you attempted to settle him down.  Leon followed you into the living room practically vibrating with giddiness as you got comfortable on the couch, his chin resting on your shoulder, arms wrapped contently around your waist.  After a few minor adjustments with the screen you scrolled up to the top of the document he had open and read the italicized title in the middle of the page:

Handcuffs and Lickers

Huh, so that’s what he has been working on.  You had to give him credit, it was an interesting title but then something struck you and your eyes widened at the horrifying thought.

“Please tell me this isn’t some sort of weird monster porn fantasy…”

“What do you mean?”  You could feel his face fall in distress, his voice squeaking a little as panic began to set in.

“Um, the lickers part.  Please tell me that it’s not a reference to those…things…that you run into while you’re working.”

His reared back in surprise clearly, and understandably, offended by such a question.  But you couldn’t help it; Leon had described in detail what those creatures had looked like, even done some rather crude illustrations to better get his point across and it was the first thought that crossed your mind.  Often times when you were reading your fan fiction stories the writers inserted parts of their daily lives to make the characters more relatable.  So you were really hoping that Leon was not referencing the B.OW. kind of lickers.

“God no!  The fuck kind of person wants to be sexually assaulted by one of those things?!”

“I’m sorry, Leon I had to ask!  The internet is a strange place; you never know what people are into or what kind of porn they’re watching.  I’m not going to shame someone for their kinks but some people are into weird shit.”

“Well do you want me to change the title real quick or something?  I was originally gonna go with You Scream, I cream but the more I thought about the less sexy it sounded.  I wanted it to fit the theme of some of your books with the bondage stuff and whatnot.”  His voice squeaked ever higher the more distressed he became.

You breathed an audible sigh of relief at that revelation.  Perhaps the other title he picked out may have worked better but at least now you knew for certain this was not going to turn into some sci-fi experiment gone wrong filled with tongues several inches long and eight foot tall behemoths with obscenely long cocks.  You were well aware of what the mind was capable of producing after being exposed to adult films, internet porn and smut filled fan fiction as a teenager and you were certain that Leon likely stumbled upon some of these strange kinks and fetishes online while “researching.”

“No, it’s fine I just needed to make sure.”  You turned away from the screen to cradle his face, kissing him, reassuring him that everything was okay.

With the matter of the title cleared up you glanced down at the bottom of the screen noting that the document was about nine pages long and encompassed something close 5,000 or so words.  You were impressed that he so willingly sat down in front of a computer to write this all out considering that he wasn’t much of the creative arts type.

My first day as a cop did not go nearly as well as I had hoped, my girlfriend broke up with me and I got drunk.  I ended up being super fucking late and by the time I finally showed up my lieutenant was ready to hurl my ass right back out on the street.  But he didn’t.  Instead of getting to sit next to my mentor in a squad car and do ride alongs I was forced into servitude at a desk.  It could’ve been a lot worse; my desk could’ve been next to some slob of a sergeant who did nothing but bark orders.  Instead, I got to sit next to a goddess who didn’t take crap from anyone.  Even though my girlfriend just broke up with me last night this new lady cop already had me rock hard with her ‘no bullshit’ attitude.

It was evident from the first paragraph that Leon was drawing from experience, changing and embellishing what really happened to him that night.  You couldn’t blame him though, for years he struggled with being stuck in the past hoping that the next time can be different.  And this story was his chance to make things different, to make different choices, to explore the endless possibilities of ‘what if.’

I finally worked up the courage to ask Samantha, Sam for short, out after two months of failed attempts.  I learned that she normally worked the graveyard shift but agreed to work overtime completing paperwork and doing prisoner transport to the courthouse while me and a handful of other rookies got further training.

She showed up to our date looking smokin’ hot.  I mean her dress barely kept her covered!  It was damn near painful watching her put a little extra sway in her step.  I was already hard to begin with and the way she was dressed, how she walked somehow got me even harder.  If I couldn’t calm down I was going to bust a load right there (and probably die of embarrassment because there is no way she would ever let me live that down.  I’d be the laughing stock of the whole station!)

Thank God dinner went okay!  She didn’t push my hand away when I placed it on her thigh, rather she scooted down in the passenger seat and allowed my hand to travel a bit higher.  The heat that radiated off her pussy nearly burned a hole in my skin.  I was almost certain her scent had bled out into my seats and it was driving me crazy that I couldn’t slam the car in park and bury my face between her legs.

Yeah, I know I’m a bit of a perv but I want her so damn bad!  It’s a fantasy that’s played out every night since I learned her name.

When we got back to her place I was surprised that she invited me in, I was already so nervous that I was sure she would never want to see me again.  Sam disappeared for a minute saying she needed to get something out of the bedroom and that gave me a chance to have a look around.  I didn’t get far before she called my name, asking for my help in the bedroom.

When I walked in she was naked, her handcuffs dangling off the end of her finger, still in her high heels and her juices glistening on her thighs.  Sam tossed her handcuffs at me and motioned for me to join her on the bed.  She grabbed hold of the rails on her headboard and demanded that I cuff her to the bed.  So I did, like a good rookie.  But I was getting harder by the second and needed some relief.  I rutted myself against her sex letting her slick heat smear across the front of my pants.  Fuck, I was so close to cumming but Sam stopped me.

“Eat me Officer Sexy.” She crooned.

Let me tell you, it was a dream come true!

Ripping my shirt off I scooted down the mattress, grabbed her legs and tossed them over my shoulders before diving into her heavenly box.  I lapped at her like she were ice cream and her clit was the cherry on top.  She arched her back, screaming for more but I wanted to savor her creamy taste.  Like an archaeologist looking for lost buried treasure my fingers searched for that elusive spot that would send her gushing.

Sam let me spend the night as long as I promised to keep eating her out like that and in the morning we fucked like rabbits on every available surface until I had to leave for work.  The guys must have noticed that I got laid because while we were in the locker room they pointed it out.  I wasn’t going to hide my activities with Sam.  It was then that Jacob spoke up asking if he could get in on the action too, he was curious to know what she tasted like also.

Leon tried.  He really, really, really tried and it finally made sense why he was consuming so much porn lately.  And you had to give him an A for effort but his style of writing felt more like a twelve year old virgin who knew nothing about sex except for what they saw or read.  The storytelling may have worked if his intention was to write and director a porno but you already knew that was not the case.  You almost wished that he had taken inspiration from your books and the fan fictions instead of the movies and bad acting.  Grammar and sentence structure aside you were doing your absolute best to not laugh and hurt his feelings.  Leon was so fucking excited and so proud to show you what he had written that you didn’t have the heart to rip it to shreds.  You closed the lid on the laptop when you were finished reading his story trying to keep a straight face as you needed a moment to compose yourself.

“So, what do you think?  Pretty hot, huh?  Not to brag but I definitely think it’s better than any of those books you have and miles better than any of those silly fan fictions that you read.”

All you could imagine was Samantha’s pussy being licked like an ice cream cone with a cherry sitting on top and thrashing around violently on the bed while being restrained with her own handcuffs.  And especially now that you had finished reading the story you were compelled to try and convince Leon to change the title because his main character certainly creamed his pants after Samantha squirted in his face.  Even though none of those details were present you could make a safe assumption that it did happen.

“Yeah, it is pretty hot.  Would you be mad if I asked to print it out and put it on the shelf next to the others?”

You felt like a parent in that moment whose child just presented you with a brightly colored drawing of an oddly shaped blob that somehow represented a person and offered to stick it on the fridge for everyone to see.

“Really?” his eyes brightened, his smile growing larger.  “Yes!  Absolutely and you know what else?  I’m going to post it on that fan fiction website you like so much too!  That way if you don’t feel like reading it in the library you can read it on your phone.  And just so you know, we’re doing this later tonight: I’m handcuffing you to the bed and devouring you.”

Leon scooped up the laptop and ran off towards the other room; seconds later you heard the familiar sound of the printer whirring to life.  Having his story in your personal collection was one thing, posting it online for the entire world to read was a whole other matter.  Hell, it didn’t even fit into the fandom that you were fixated on unless he changed the I’s to your favorite character’s name and fixed the tenses.  Even when that was completed it needed to be heavily edited so that it did not sound like a twelve year old virgin.

The internet was going to tear him apart.

But hey, at least you were getting a chance to indulge in your fantasies later on.

References:

[1] The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty by A.N. Roquelaure aka Anne Rice

But the test results came back normal and it was right back to square one. The only advice the doctors had was no strenuous activity until they could figure out what was going on which included mowing the lawn (a chore easily remedied when Leon purchased a riding mower), limited sex (something you both protested vehemently) and no more missions, he was to be bound and chained to a desk until further notice. It was a job Leon detested but it kept him safe, kept him out of the danger zone.

Until a few weeks ago when everything changed.

The original call was for a Raccoon City survivor who died under mysterious circumstances, the only clue they had were the same black markings that appeared similar to Leon’s. Despite the doctor’s orders he demanded that his superiors assign him the case, he no longer cared about his own health anymore. There were people out there suffering and Leon’s calling in life was to help, he’d sacrifice his own life if it meant someone else got to live. One casualty soon turned into four. You had invited Sherry over for dinner one night, something casual you had thrown together at the last minute because you made too much and did not want it to go to waste. Leon answered the door when she arrived and fell into immediate silence when he noticed the same marks on Sherry’s hand; the only information he could provide her with was what the doctors had provided him.

Then a sixth survivor from Raccoon City had turned up dead and Leon left in the middle of the night to investigate. He promised to be home as quickly as he could however you learned from intermittent calls with Sherry that his investigation had become much more complicated. It was only a few hours ago that you had last spoken with Leon, you could hear him coughing and wheezing over the phone. You were certain that was going to be the last time you ever spoke to each other so you made sure before the call dropped that your last words were ‘I love you.’

“You waited up for me?” There was a hint of surprise in his voice as the door closed behind him, his boots hitting the floor with a thud as he slid one foot out and then the other.

“Couldn’t sleep, I needed to see you first. I couldn’t stand the thought of going to bed knowing how bad you sounded on the phone earlier.”

Worry laced your voice as you reached for your bookmark, folding the book shut and placing it on the coffee table across from you. As you got to your feet you were greeted by Leon’s familiar face but something was very different about this man. This was not the same Leon that left a few days ago. This Leon stood taller, straighter even, his skin didn’t seem quite so pale and the marks on his hand were gone. Of course his coat had gone missing again but he’d be getting a new one anyway in a couple of months for Christmas so you weren’t that concerned.

“I know you have questions, can it wait until I get a decent meal first? I’m fucking starving, babe.” Leon gave you his best puppy eyes as he removed his holsters next, setting them on the bench by the door.

“Yeah, pot roast okay? I took it out of the freezer because I didn’t feel like cooking, not after that last phone call.”

“Fine with me b-“

“Ice cold beer in the fridge; don’t need you getting shitfaced on me just yet.”

A smirk graced his features as he followed you into the kitchen. Usually after Leon got home from a mission he was generally pretty needy, his hands needed to be somewhere on you at all times. You had chalked it up to needing to feel grounded and stopped questioning why years ago because all you truly cared about was that he was alive and home where he belonged. Again, you couldn’t help but feel that this time was different from all of the others. Every now and then you’d sneak a glance at your reflections in the window noting that he squeezed you a little tighter, inhaled your scent a little longer. Something about him was different and it frustrated you that you couldn’t figure out what it was.

“Keep knitting your eyebrows together like that and you’re going to end up with wrinkles.” He mused, burying his face in your neck.

“You’ve given me plenty already, what’s a few more? Now, you can either make yourself useful and stick this plate in the microwave or you can loosen your grip so I can do it.”

His lips spread into a smile against your skin before coming together to press a chaste kiss on the spot. There was no stopping the soft moan that escaped your throat as the stubble along his cheek grazed your skin. You felt your head tilt to the side allowing Leon full access and he took advantage littering your neck with kisses, small bites and beard burn.

“Think I know what I want for dessert later.” He mumbled, his tongue soothing over the impressions left by his teeth.

“Dinner, answers, then dessert.” You managed pushing his head away long enough to stick the plate of food in the microwave, setting the timer for five minutes.

A boyish glint that you had not seen in years appeared in his eyes when you turned around to face him. There wasn’t much that could be accomplished in five minutes but Leon knew exactly how to get your heart racing. A sudden lunge forward sent you running for safety around the other side of the kitchen island; your bodies moving left and right trying to decide how to fake the other out. Leon had studied you too well over the years – you’d always go left into the living room when you should’ve gone right towards the back door but you were always afraid that the neighbors would hear you screaming and call the cops not knowing that you were only playing with each other. Naturally Leon chased you into the living room, tackling you to the couch before pinning your hands above your head and claiming your lips in victory.

“I. Love. You.” He proclaimed between kisses.

You couldn’t help but sigh into the last kiss and for the first time in months you felt something familiar stir. Leon definitely came home a different man and you were certain that whatever happened to him out there changed him for the better. Leon was convinced that there was a correlation between the black marks on his body and his decreased ability to “get it up.” That was a visit you remembered all too well.

“No, doc, you’re not fucking listening! Ever since these marks started showing up I can’t get it up like I used too! I’m not that fucking old! I should be able to get hard without having to resort to pills or any of that other shit!”

“Well, Mr. Kennedy you’re not exactly eighteen anymore. Erectile Dysfunction happens and-”

“No! Don’t fucking lecture me about getting old when you can’t even figure out what the hell is wrong with me to begin with!”

The doctor quickly changed the subject back to trying to find a diagnosis but Leon just wasn’t having it. Nothing the doctor said was getting through to him and you, unfortunately, had to leave with him and listen to him bitch all the way home about how incompetent the doctor was, questioning if they were a ‘real’ doctor or if those papers plastered on the wall were printouts from some made up school.

Five minutes passed by faster than it seemed, the microwave dinging as the timer reached zero. You tried to push Leon off of you but he pressed you further into the cushions, not ready to let you go so soon.

“Five more minutes? Gotta let it cool down first, don’t want me to burn my mouth, do you?”

Who could argue with that logic? You felt yourself nodding in agreement, his lips dragging over every inch of exposed skin, his stubble raising goosebumps along every path it travelled. For the first time in a long time everything seemed to slow down, everything started to feel like it was brand new again when you were both in your late thirties and had only started dating. Easily another fifteen minutes flew by while Leon took his time mapping out your body stopping when he reached the drawstring of your pants and promising himself dinner first, then dessert. He helped you off the couch, guiding you into the kitchen and ordering that you take a seat while he got his plate out of the microwave.

“Water for you and beer for me.”

He set the glass down in front of you and his beer bottle in front of his plate; finally he took a seat at the island next to you and tucked into his first meal in nearly two days. Groans of satisfaction filled the space as the meat on his fork slid into his mouth. For a moment he closed his eyes relishing and committing every bit of this scene to memory. What he needed to tell you was important but savoring this time together was just as, if not more important. When Leon was finished, the plate nearly polished clean, he got up and placed his dishes in the dishwasher and his empty beer bottle in the recycle bin. A heavy sigh passed through his nose as he turned back to face you.

He’d put it off for long enough.

“What me and Sherry had was a T-virus infection. The doctors weren’t doing the right tests so they never picked up on it.”

“You said had, past tense. What happened?”

Leon closed his eyes, allowing his head to drop before lifting it again to continue. “My mission changed, an FBI agent went missing and the suspect was a Dr. Victor Gideon. Long story short I wound up back in Raccoon City,” he watched as your eyes went wide. You were well aware of his history with that city even if you didn’t know the whole story. “Yeah, I wasn’t too keen on going back either but I had to. There was an underground facility hidden below the city, this thing called Elpis was being kept there. Bad guys needed the FBI agent because they thought she was the key to unlocking it and wouldn’t you know it, they were right. But it wasn’t what they thought it would be. They thought that they could use it as some kind of weapon; they were wrong. It was a cure. I’m cured, Sherry’s cured.”

Cured? Nine months of testing and phones calls and more tests and this whole time it was a T-virus infection?

Your head was swimming with questions and somewhere near the top of the list was who this FBI agent was and where you could find them so you can thank them personally.

“I know it’s a lot to take in, if you need time to process-”

“You were practically on Death’s doorstep when you called me. I could hear it in your voice, the fear that you always try to mask with your bad jokes. How can you go from barely breathing to this,” you motioned, “in a matter of hours?”

“Your guess is as good as mine but as far as I’m concerned I’ve got you for another day.”

You hummed, questions surrounding the efficacy and how long this newly discovered cure would last swirled around in your mind but Leon had a point. You got each other for another day and that was more than enough to satisfy your curiosity for now. A new kind of hunger was building the longer you held eye contact with him, his tongue swiping across his lips while you watched the wheels in his mind turn.

“Dessert?” You asked getting up from your seat, retreating to the bedroom.

The following morning you found yourself tangled in a mess of sheets, a delicious ache between your legs serving as a reminder that last night was real. Beside you Leon was sound asleep on his stomach, one arm folded beneath his pillow, the other draped over the side of the bed, soft snores rustling the material like a gentle breeze. Carefully you slid out of the bed trying your best not to wake him though you were certain that he’d be up in the next ten minutes anyway when he’d change positions to pull you closer only to find you weren’t there.

Fresh coffee brewing shook the chill off of this October morning, as you looked out of the kitchen window you noted the halo of hues that tinted the horizon, a thin sheen of frost danced in the light. Winter would soon be approaching and with it the death of millions of mosquitoes and bugs, a day that couldn’t come soon enough. For now though you stood in front of the window appreciating the autumn foliage that began to litter the yard. You were so engrossed in your thoughts you failed to hear the floorboards creak under the weight of Leon’s footsteps; a throaty chuckle broke the peace when he managed to sneak up behind you, causing you to jump slightly.

“Morning gorgeous.” You heard the amusement in his voice as he rested his chin on your shoulder. “You’re up early.”

There was a tenderness in his voice, the kind you had not heard in a while. Maybe it had to do with this new cure and feeling like the world was no longer squeezing the actual life out of him like before. You had grown accustomed to rough, skin slapping sex that occasionally left you handcuffed to the bed all weekend and you were only allowed brief breaks to use the bathroom, grab a quick bite and refill your water bottle. However last night was gentle, soft, perhaps it was safe to say that it matched the tone in his voice this morning. The way his hands roamed and mapped out every curve of your body gave rise to a new wave of goosebumps as you replayed the night’s events. Leon was far more attentive than normal, constantly checked in to make sure you were alright. He made sure you felt every stroke, every bead of sweat that dripped onto your feverish skin and when he got up to retrieve a towel from the bathroom he took his time cleaning you up. Every spot the towel touch was followed by a kiss, his lips lingering for several seconds before moving on to the next.

This brush with Death changed him and you needed to thank this FBI agent properly.

“Yeah, don’t suppose you have that FBI agent’s name and number do you? I want to thank them for bringing you home to me and in one piece.”

“I’ll have Sherry send it to you and her name is Grace in case you were wondering. I think you’d like her, kinda reminds me of when me and Claire found Sherry in Raccoon City all those years ago.”

“How so?” You asked taking down two large coffee mugs from one of the shelves next to the stove.

“Her mom was killed when she was younger so-”

“So you’ve adopted another orphan?” You teased.

“Kinda, I also may have adopted a second. Her name is Emily, she’s somewhere between like seven and nine years old, she’s blind and spent her entire life living inside a box inside of Rhodes.”

You couldn’t be mad at him even if you tried because you knew his heart was in the right place.

A few days later you received a text from Sherry with Grace’s information, choosing to wait until Leon had left for a couple of hours before calling. As you expected it went to voicemail; you explained who you were and extended an invitation to her and Emily to dinner. Within twenty minutes of leaving the message you got a call back. The woman on the other end sounded a bit terrified but agreed nevertheless. Her only request was that it wait a few weeks because she needed to be with Emily while she recovered.

“Believe it or not Elpis cured Emily of her blindness, I’m teaching her how to read and she’s experiencing the world for the first time. I don’t want to overwhelm her too much so soon.”

“If you’re not busy why don’t you come over for Thanksgiving? Usually it’s just me, Leon and Sherry with a giant turkey and all the trimmings.”

There was a momentary pause while you heard papers rustling in the background, a few ‘um’s’ and ‘uh’s’ here and there like maybe she was trying to either find her calendar or avoid giving an answer right away.

“Uh, yeah that should work. Do you want me to bring-”

“Nope, you and Emily bring your appetites and nothing else. This is the least I can do to say thank you for bringing my husband back. If it’s okay with you I’ll text you our address when it gets closer.”

Grace was quick to agree, almost rushing you off the phone. You weren’t going to concern yourself with it though, it could just be how she naturally is around other people especially someone she’s never formally met. Leon arrived home just as you were setting your phone down on the counter, his keys clanking on the hook next to the door while he slammed the door shut a little harder than intended.

“You’ve been up to something, haven’t you?”

“Invited Grace and Emily over for Thanksgiving, unless you have a problem with that.” You shrugged watching him toe out of his boots.

“At least we won’t have to send Sherry home with four pounds of turkey this year.” He chuckled, taking a seat on the couch and scooping up the remote.

The days and weeks seemed to zoom past faster than you had expected, every weekly trip to the grocery store you found yourself stockpiling a little bit more so that you could avoid the last minute shoppers. You already had the turkey in the freezer, a purchase you made right after Leon had gotten home when you were certain that he was on vacation until after the first of the year. Leon was a little embarrassed when you showed up at the DSO and barged into his supervisor’s office unannounced demanding that he show you the approved time off request, double checking that it ran from November first until December thirty-first.

A week before Thanksgiving you were receiving messages constantly from Sherry and Grace asking if you wanted them to bring anything and every time your answer was the same. By Tuesday Sherry had given up on asking however Grace continued all the way up until she told you she and Emily were on their way over. You had given Leon explicit instructions that if she so much as showed up with anything other than Emily that he was to confiscate it.

Much to your relief Grace showed up empty handed, explaining that this was the first time Emily’s ever done Thanksgiving and that this was her first one in years since her mom died. You glanced across the table at Sherry and Leon; given their childhoods you figured that Grace was in good company and that she had found the right family who could empathize with her. Emily was easily overwhelmed by the spread eager to try everything because Grace had not introduced her to any of the foods yet except maybe the mashed potatoes (though you had to explain that these were made from scratch and different than the flakes that came in a box).

Hours passed and soon Emily was passed out in a food induced coma, her head resting against Grace’s arm while she offered one apology after another. Before they all left you sent them home with plenty of leftovers for the next day; Sherry was beyond grateful that she ended up with far less than the previous year while Grace swore that it was too much. As the house began to settle down from the excitement Leon stood beside you washing the dishes while you put the remaining food inside plastic containers and plastic bags. Your favorite movie was playing in the background and you couldn’t stop yourself from singing along to the musical numbers.

It was tradition, memories of your childhood playing out just like you had always dreamed of.

“Another successful Thanksgiving dinner!” Leon exclaimed, throwing a pod into the dishwasher and starting it up. “C’mon, let’s go sit down and you can tell me what you thought about Grace.”

“She’s a lot like you so I get why you ‘adopted’ her. And I can see why you also chose to ‘adopt’ Emily too.”

“Care to elaborate?” he pulled you in closer, allowing you to lean into him, his fingertips tracing lazy patterns along your arm.”

“You were so young when you lost your parents, I’ve noticed over the years that while you try to save as many lives as you can any time a kid is involved, especially when they are young and helpless like you were, that you make every effort possible to make sure they come out on the other side. The ones who are alone, left to fend for themselves seem to hit you the hardest because you know what it means to not have a father’s protection or a mother’s love. And I’m not saying that to be mean or rude or anything like that, it’s just an observation I’ve made. You want to be that father figure that you never had; you want to protect them, shield them from as much as you can. You want them to grow up knowing they have someone they can turn to when they’re in trouble.

“Sherry lost her parents when she was twelve, Claire found her but you took care of her. You a twenty-one year old rookie cop who was forced to work for the government to keep her safe. Every paycheck went towards paying rent and making sure Sherry had everything and anything she could possibly ask for. You had your missions but the most important one was to make it back to her alive and in one piece so that she didn’t become a science experiment. Even after she turned eighteen and was ready to start life on her own you were still there to take care of her; it didn’t matter if she came to you crying in the middle of the night over some boy who broke her heart or if she didn’t have enough money to feed herself. You were always there for her because you knew what it felt like to be alone and not have anyone.”

Leon listened as you continued drawing comparisons; somehow he never saw his relationship with Sherry in this way. Sure he accepted the position as a government agent after Raccoon City to protect her but that was just the cop in him trying to protect someone who was young and vulnerable.

“Grace is what, in her early twenties? Pretty much the same age you were when you took on more responsibility than you thought you could handle. She lost her mom in such a horrific way that the only person in this house who could possibly understand what she went through is you. You were a witness to your parents’ murders and from what you’ve told me it was brutal to say the least. Leon, you understand childhood trauma better than anyone because you lived it, you empathize with people and know where they are coming from even if they don’t believe you in that moment. When Grace told you no regrets back there in Raccoon City it triggered something inside of you, I know it did because she told me about it a couple of weeks ago. Just like Marvin, Death was waiting there beside you and you all but ordered her to save herself and to get out of there if things went from bad to worse. I’m selfishly glad that it did not come down to that but you were ready to sacrifice yourself so she could live.

“Emily is a child, before Grace kind of crash landed into her life she was basically locked inside a box and experimented on – what happened to Emily is exactly what would have happened to Sherry if you chose differently. Yes, I know she’s living with Grace and she’s doing an amazing job taking care of her but I know you Leon Scott Kennedy, you would’ve brought her home with you if you could and taken care of her yourself.

“Face the facts: you have a calling to take care of people who remind you of that little boy who lost his parents, who was orphaned and who needed saving all those years ago.”

Leon sat in silence, his fingers still tracing lazy patterns over your skin as he thought about everything you said. It was a lot more than he was expecting to hear and he wasn’t fully prepared for the emotions that came with it. His heart pounded inside his chest much more rapidly than it did before you started speaking, his mind raced to the filing cabinets it had created searching for memories of every example and parallel you drew hoping to poke holes into your explanations. Finally he swallowed down his fears and spoke.

“I just wanted to make a difference but I can’t save everyone and it’s a hard pill to swallow.”

You knew who he was referring to, the one person he’s spent twenty some-odd years trying to save acted more like a feral animal anytime he was around. He’d given Ada one chance after another to experience something different, something that offered care and compassion but she never wanted to step a toe inside to see for herself how things could have been. And Leon never tried to force her; sure he tried and failed many times to coax her into seeing things his way but some people you just can’t help. They have to want to come inside, they have to want to accept the offer.

In your mind Ada was a stray cat who wanted to stay outside and observe, be her own boss and have everything her way. She negotiated terms but it always had to be in her favor, there was never a compromise where it worked out for everyone. Ada was the one person that Leon could not save and you saw how much it hurt Leon. You would never say it out loud but sometimes you wished that she had just stayed “dead” after Raccoon City fell because randomly popping up in his life wasn’t doing him any favors.

“You’ve got three amazing daughters and you’ve done so good raising them, you should be proud of yourself.”

“Pfft, I raised Sherry, not Grace or Emily.”

“Doesn’t matter, they came into your life at a time when you needed them. They gave you purpose again when you felt like you were losing your way. Sure Grace is grown but she’s young, she needs guidance, someone she can look up to, someone she can aspire to be like as she builds her confidence as an agent.”

A sigh passed through his nose, his fingers stopped tracing lazy patters and for several minutes Leon sat in silent reflection. He always imagined that his life would amount to more than this, always dreamt of being a cop to repay a debt to the officer that saved his life that fateful night his parents were killed. And in a way he guessed he had – he did become a cop, he did save lives – but the path was full of twists, turns and bioweapons. There was always an obstacle being presented that put lives in danger, especially the lives of the people he cared about the most. If he had the chance to do it again he wouldn’t hesitate in the slightest, there’s nothing that he would change about the decisions he’s made to land him where he was today.

Leon would adopt as many orphans as he could if it meant they didn’t have to go through life scared and alone. He’d always leave space for Ada whenever she was ready though she could never have him the same way that you do.