Rome's In Ruins

every day im crumbling

biting is a love language. no i will not elaborate.

Hello bisexual community

Begin killing

*Looks very hot and handsome and gets a little sweaty as I knead the dough and bake you a very fresh, very yummy looking pizza, flirting with you throughout the entire process, and then when its done I eat it all*

some men are born bisexual. others have bisexuality thrust upon them

[kisses you] is this cringe bro? [kisses you harder] is this fail? is this going in your cringe comp?

Uh. bro what's with the diagonal red lines on your face. wait a minute. Oh shit are you anime blushing cuz you're in love w me bro????? Its ok dude u can tell me

invented a chess opening called the lovers gambit where you toss the pieces aside and start kissing your opponent on the table

Just saw a post saying a castle was “infested with vampires” and as a biologist am disgusted. That’s their natural habitat. They live there

is the universe not simply an infinite circus tent? are we not all just some greater fool’s cosmic joke?

me, barely existing: “I’ll take another iced coffee”

i wish i had more middle fingers