boy, you're my treasure;

The fuck’s that got to do with anything. Hmm pretty sure that means I win considering it usually shuts you right the hell up. Besides, I don’t hear you complaining about. Neither do the neighbors. My charm never ceases. Hotel room windows open, great view of Paris for you, great view of you from behind for me. Highkey romantic. Mile high club on the way home?

It keeps you from doing sometimes, it’s not that hard babe, keep up; will you? Does it really though? Or do I just start moaning your name? Complaining? No, just making a point. Mhm, you’re lucky you’re charming, I guess. My ass is wonderful, you’re getting a real treat here. Peak romantic. Yeah, duh. Why are you even asking?

That’s what I was afraid of! But okay. Was it slimy?

Eh, you only live once, right? Totally slimy, not really my thing but they’re not terrible. Iz hated the whole thing, will admit that’s half the reason I did it.

It would be wrong of me as his brother to give up hope.

Wouldn’t call it giving up hope, just more so... Knowing what you’re dealing with.

You say that now, but just wait until you and I get wine drunk together, and we start sharing secrets. 

You think I’m just going to offer up my secrets because I’m wine drunk, do you even know me?

It’s where Oscar Wilde spent his last days. 

Why would you ask him, I’m the writer.

Then I suppose that would make it more fun, right? I don’t know much about threesomes.. I don’t know much about relationships, in fact, but I think I’d feel jealous if I had a boyfriend or girlfriend and someone else joined in. Ugh, that’s so cute, I’m so jealous of you two.

It all depends on the type of person you are dude, years ago we tried and it didn’t really work out. We were more concerned about each other than the other person, I don’t know. Could be a fuckin’ disaster again, but doesn’t hurt to try. Don’t be man, you’ll find someone for you one day. More even multiple someones.

Can’t believe you can’t believe. I like being right. That’s not news. When have I ever lost anything as far as I’m concerned? Tch, fine. Bummer. Hmmmm yeah alright that’s a damn fair trade. Sex bucketlist? A fucketlist.

You’re also lazy. Oh baby, you lose, you just don’t think you do cause it usually ends with your head between my legs. Wow, I love you, a fucketlist. What else, give me something good.

Ughh, I’m jealous. 

As anyone who isn’t me should be, really. 

I hope you have a lot of fun… but that you don’t eat snails.

Damn, already tried the thing. Wasn’t half as bad as I thought they’d be.

I have missed your pretty face around but I knew it was for a good cause, so it’s sort of okay. The world deserves to see a masterpiece after all.

Adorable child, I’ll make sure to bring you something back cool and nerdy. Miss you too, stay out of trouble!

Ahhh…did some of them help you get various sex toys out, from various places?

Possibly. But that’s for me to know and for you to never find out.

I’m sure he wouldn’t do that to you… Unless the latter is something you’re hoping for, in which case, I hope you enjoy it. And that was a super weird thing to say.. way to go, Layla. Oh, that’s exciting! Are you planning to do anything special for the day or is being in Paris special enough? I would love for someone to take me to Paris for my birthday, you’re basically living the dream.

If we were going to have a threesome, and he was in charge of finding a third, I’m fairly certain he’d find someone hot. We both clearly have good taste. It wasn’t, was kind of sweet when you think about it. Nah, just being here is pretty rad enough. What can I say, Isaac’s a dream.

The French don’t say that? Where in the heck did that come from then?? lol Thank you! It’s a weird thing to thank someone for having a good time but thanks all the same!

How are you?

Who knows; American’s most likely, we like to steal things. Always for people out there living their best lives.

Was gonna say the internet but according to the internet some British dude was involved so who the hell actually knows. Fuckin’ ridiculous. That’s cute that you still think after all this time I won’t win like I always do. Yeah no shit that was never even a question. Let’s do it with the windows open. Is it possible to have sex inside the Eiffel tower or is that grounds for getting kicked out of a whole country.

Can’t believe you actually looked that up. When have you ever won anything as far as I’m concerned? Pretty sure we’d get kicked out of the country, so let’s not do that. Willing to try actual sex on the beach, we can be adventurous.