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@blakedabadger
You take getting hurt way too lightly, but we don’t need to waste time arguing over that now that it’s summer! Do you mind if I crash this weekend? My mom’s going out for like two or three days. I promise to bring all the video games and junk food I can hold.
Your mom’s leaving you home alone and you want to come to me? Dude, haven’t you ever heard of throwing a party? I thought I trained you better than this. You’re always welcome here, but like... think of the opportunities, bro!
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Shh, stop. You shouldn’t be paying attention to the radio. You should be resting. Do you need anything? Water, another blanket, some snacks?
Can I order one best friend who’s not freaking out, and maybe a videogame to play if I have to stay in bed? You guys are making way too big of a deal out of this. Twas but a flesh wound!
This is for our injured! Feel better, @lionhearthopkins, @blakedabadger, @chloeclaw, @slippery-mo-hakim, @theonelysander, and @tango-de-roxanne.
Thanks a lot for telling everyone I got hurt too, Mel. And I was doing such a good job of flying under the radar.
TEXT MESSAGE ✉ WAKE
Will: THANK YOU. And I GUESS you're higher than a 7. You could be a 9, in a rapscallion kind of way 😀
Will: I never said I'd date Ben Pucey! I just said that love is a great thing. And he's not THAT bad, is he? He's friendly enough. Don't you dare! I'll take points away from you!
Blake: There are a lot of quality rapscallions in the world! Like uh... that one prince guy Becca really likes, from Rapunzel.
Blake: But love's not a great thing when it's not returned, did Melanie teach you nothing, man? HAVE SOME SELF-RESPECT. And also get that dude to stop hitting on you publicly, it's weird. FROM YOUR OWN HOUSE? YOU WOULDN'T DARE. Especially if it's an accident. Or if it happens while your'e sleeping and you think you just dreamed how great I smell.
TEXT MESSAGE ✉ WAKE
Will: And I'm naturally better looking 😀 JK!
Will: MY EYESIGHT IS 20/20 THE DOCTOR SAID
Will: Why is Ben loving me gross? O: Love is always a good thing! I refuse to believe that that behavior is gendered, shhh, girls are great. Next time I accidentally catch a whiff I'll let you know :P
Blake: Eh, I guess you're kinda cute. In a nerd way 😈
Blake: THEN YOU'RE JUST LOOKING AT THE WRONG ANGLE OR SOMETHING.
Blake: Dude, stop, I'm literally gagging. Would you seriously date Ben Pucey? I always figured if you were going to date a guy you'd pick a better one. Or I could just come stick your face in my armpit
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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TEXT MESSAGE ✉ WAKE
Will: That's not as cool D; why are you always the cooler one??
Will: I love you no matter what you look like!
Will: Oh. Well it says more about them as people than it does about them as a gender so... if it makes them happy, at least I can support doing things that make you happy :-P I haven't actively sniffed you, bro, so I can't agree.
Blake: Then that accurately reflects us, since I'm naturally cooler 😈
Blake: DOESN'T STOP YOU FROM NEEDING GLASSES TO SEE ME BETTER WITH.
Blake: Yeah, but Ben Pucey loves you - which is gross, by the way, please never fall for him - and he's friends with her too, so...it's a girl thing, just admit it. I'M OFFENDED. Not really, I've never sniffed you either, that would be weird.
TEXT MESSAGE ✉ WAKE
Will: It DOES look good! It makes me wish I had an A in my name D:
Will: Calling people ugly is mean!
Will: I'm not going to turn into a she-man-woman-hater just because a girl didn't love me back. Besides, they smell better than us O.O
Blake: You could pick something different. Like replace the U with a smiley face. Will Cr😀mpler.
Blake: You IMPLIED IT. Some kind of best friend you are, jerk.
Blake: ...I didn't even mean that, I meant Kelsey Corner and her friends all hating you just because they can. And take it back, I smell amazing. Like fresh ocean breeze or whatever the deodorant tube says.
TEXT MESSAGE ✉ WAKE
Will: That should be the photo on your ID O:
Will: Even then you'd only be about a 7 out of 10, because your personality is 10/10 and no one can be perfect :)
Will: GIRLS ARE AWESOME! YOU'D BE LUCKY TO SOUND LIKE ONE.
Blake: Or they could just use those instead of the a's in my name. Bl😈ke Sh😈w, looks good, right?
Blake: YOU THINK I'm UGLY! All you had to make it was a 9.9 to not be perfect, jeez!
Blake: How can you still like girls so much after they've done you so dirty?
TEXT MESSAGE ✉ WAKE
Will: I don't know! It just reminds me of you :c
Will: Can hotness be CGIed in? O: Not that you're hot because, you know, you're beautiful, but hot? Sounds like you're objectifying yourself.
Will: ARE YOU DONE? ARE YOU DONE WHINING?
Blake: 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈
Blake: Anything can be CGI'd in, dude. Muggles are amazing like that. If you took my amazing face and put me on a bodybuilder's body I'd be way hot.
Blake: COMPLAINING! WHINING MAKES ME SOUND LIKE A GIRL!
TEXT MESSAGE ✉ WAKE
Will: I associate that emoji as you! It's weird to send you your own face.
Will: SAFE AND SOUND ON THE SIDELINES WHERE YOU SHOULD BE TOO. Like they'd find a stunt double who looked enough like you, you're a rare beauty :-P
Will: Let it go, bro. We all tried, even Lily. We'll get it next time :)
Blake: I can't tell if the fact that you think I look like this 😈 is a compliment or an insult, bro. Explain yourself.
Blake: Maybe they'll put a test dummy in there and just CGI in my hotness. I don't know how this Muggle stuff works!
Blake: I WOULD HAVE LET IT GO IF SHE HADN'T BEEN SUCH A BITcH LAST MONTH WHEN WE LOST TO GRYFFINDOR. GIVE ME MY FIVE MINUTES OF COMPLAINING TO GET IT OUT OF MY SYSTEM.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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TEXT MESSAGE ✉ WAKE
Will: [heart eyes emoji] [hamburger emoji] [100 emoji]
Will: No way! Those movies are dangerous! No way am I letting you in a race car.
Will: Seeker's a hard job, and she'll have our back next time, Blake. Until then, at least we know we can kick serious butt in the pitch!
Blake: Dude, come on! Haven't I taught you by now that the best reaction to literally everything is the purple smiling devil emoji?
Blake: WHERE IS YOUR SENSE OF ADVENTURE? Besides, I'm just there to look pretty; they'd probably have a stunt double in the car for me anyway.
Blake: All of them are hard jobs, bro. That's why only seven people make the team for real and everybody else sits on the bench or in the stands watching.
TEXT MESSAGE ✉ WAKE
Will: You DO eat a lot. I have no idea where you put it all :-P Promise our Australia budget won't totally be blown on food!
Will: You do a really good job of not acting mature, I can tell you that much :)
Will: Oh, come on. Don't say that. It wasn't her fault. Lydia Chang's like a comet! And that doesn't take away from how totally great we were! You were amazing out there.
Blake: Bro, fall birthday! I'll be seventeen and totally able to magically clone our food by the time we're there.
Blake: I should be a professional actor someday. Think I could star in a Fast and Furious reboot?
Blake: Dude, we've still got a loss on the board! Yeah, we played awesome, but for as much crap as Lily gave us for how we played last game, she sure didn't come through.
TEXT MESSAGE ✉ WAKE
Will: My parents would totally let us! That's such a good idea!
Will: That's not as great an idea. You don't want to be known for just your beard, and besides, it'll make you look mature; that's false advertising :-P
Will: ...use it loud to sing songs to cheer us all up?
Blake: Mine say I eat too much so they'd probably be happy not to have to feed me all holiday season 😈
Blake: Pfft, I'm so mature. I just hide it because the mature thing to do is not to rub it in other people's faces that you're more mature than them.
Blake: Ugh, I can't believe we lost. We played so good! Stupid Lily Potter.
TEXT MESSAGE ✉ WAKE
Will: There is one in New Zealand! Hobbiton Movie Set, it's called. It doesn't look expensive!
Will: If you want to, sure! You'd look nice with a beard!
Will: :( I miss your voice. But this is probably for the better. It's past curfew and we wouldn't want to wake anyone.
Blake: It's winter there during our summer, right? Let's ask our parents for a trip there as a Christmas present or something.
Blake: I should cast a charm on my face to make my facial hair grow faster, and see how people like it. Plus then everyone will know how much more mature I am than the rest of our year, 'cause I'll be BEARD GUY.
Blake: I don't blame you, my voice is beautiful. I'll be sure to use it extra tomorrow at our Hufflepuff victory party after the game.
TEXT MESSAGE ✉ WAKE
Will: IS THERE? :o IF THERE IS, WE HAVE TO GO!
Will: BLAKESPEARE, NO!!!
Will: Hello. It's me!
Will: Are you really not going to talk to me? D: I came back early for you and everything.
Blake: I'm too lazy to look it up, you find out and then count me in.
Blake: IF I'M BLAKESPEARE DO I GET A SWEET BEARD AND STATUES OF ME IN LIKE EVERY LIBRARY EVER?
Blake: Willdele, what's good?
Blake: I forgot how to speak in your absence! The room was just me and Tim and the silence took my voice away.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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TEXT MESSAGE ✉ WAKE
Will: True, true. Although ... did I ever tell you I've lowkey always wanted to live in a Hobbit hole? O.O
Will: D: YOU'RE PURE EVIL, BLAKE SHAW!
Will: Nope, not Bethany. It's the guy who's about to walk into the dorm in 5...4...3...2...
Blake: Bro, isn't there a hobbit hotel in New Zealand? We should go there sometime and stay in one for shits and giggles.
Blake: YOU ASKED FOR IT, WILLIAM.
Blake: Hey, check it out! It's an imposter who looks kinda like my best friend.
TEXT MESSAGE ✉ WAKE
Will: YAY! I like the sound of Willdagascar waaaay better than New Willand!
Will: STOOOOP. MY SPIDEY SENSES ARE TINGLING!
Will: NOPE. Guess again!
Blake: Blakefrica and Blakestralia were equally cool, but you're too tall to take over the land of the hobbits anyway.
Blake: NOT FOR LONG. I HAVE A FAST METABOLISM.
Blake: Is it Bethany? Must be a bad luck night for her.
