May

You two had become really close friends in less than a year, to the point where if anyone asked you a top 5 of your favorite people Harry would've made it to the list. And to him, it was exactly the same, you always made him laugh and gave him a sense of peace and belonging that he had not experienced before. It was a friendship made in heaven.

One day you were in his car, coming back from a group trip, but ended up being alone on the way back. Jokes were shared, storytimes from the most embarrassing to the deepest ones until it was time for him to drop you off.

Everything seemed normal, it was not the first time you two had hung out, yet it felt different. The kiss on the cheek shared as a goodbye lingered a little longer than it should have.

You entered your house with a weird feeling in your gut, for you it had been as if something had shifted, you couldn't quite put a finger on what it was. Maybe it was the deep topics you had talked about. You tried to shake it off. Maybe you were just really tired.

His way back to his house was different.

He knew. If he ever had any doubt, he didn't have it anymore. He didn't know when it had happened nor how, but he couldn't fight it anymore. He had to face it.

He fell in love with you.

Narrator: You had met the love of your life, Harry, but your love was intense, hard, red, chaos. It ended in you being hurt. You had ended it so you could heal your own wounds. 

Now you have someone new, someone who is calm, no confusion, a white relationship. You were ok, just fine. You had healed, found the logic of being with someone who helps you arise…

But you had to run into him. 

He had to tell you he was miserable without you, because he could not see you being ok again, not with him not being ok himself. Not with him having the guilty of destroying the best that had happened to him. Not after he had seen how broken you were, breaking himself, thinking maybe two broken people could book again, lessons learnt.

But this new guy…

He was careful with his words

He cooked your favorite dishes

He agreed to see the movies you suggested 

He had eyes only for you 

He knew how damaged you where and still loved you.

But…

He held you close and you didn’t feel as safe. 

He was there in your rough times, but his presence did not give you de reassurance you needed. 

He kissed you and your heart did not skipped a beat, not even once. 

His eyes didn’t calm your anxieties 

You tried to feel something, anything, you did everything you had done with Harry, you just…

You were laying on your bed, looking at the lamp above your bed. Deep breaths every now and then. Eyes wide open, moonlight the only think that gave away you were awake.

Harry came in, quietly cause he thought you were asleep, but stopped in the doorframe when he noticed you weren’t hugging your huge pillow, the one you could fall asleep into.

“Babe?” He thought he was in trouble. But he had texted you, he was gonna be late, he was eating outside, you were ok with it.

“Hi, sweetie.” Your voice was sweet yet it held some roughness that he could not explain.

“Why are you awake, kitten? It’s very late.”

You kept staring at the ceiling, a sigh leaving your lips. He came closer to you, concerned look.

“I can’t cry.” You said, shrugging.

“What?”

“I want to cry, it’s been a couple of awful weeks. Nothing has worked out, I’m tired. Right now I have time to cry, but I can’t. I guess I’m too tired to. Can’t sleep either.” You shrugged again.

He felt as if his heart had reduced size in his chest, like it had become too small and fell to his gut. Now he could see how tired you looked, with the very little light coming from your window, you could tell. How did he not notice it before? He didn’t know what to do, nor what to say.

“No need to say anything, H. Just please lay next to me, I don’t want to feel alone.”

He did as told, took off his pants and shirt, held you close to his body, muscles relaxing noticeable once your breathing and his matched. He gave you a sense of protection and calmness tat you needed.

“But we are just friends”.

Those were the words you told your best friend. She had told you a million times how sure she was Harry had feelings for you. But you would not listen. You saw him as your friend, one of your closest friends.

To him you were his everything. The whole English language did not had the right words to describe his feelings for you. He needed you close to him, he needed to see you smile, hear your laugh. He always made sure you had plans with his group, he made sure he had a topic that you would be interest to in his mind, ready to start a conversation with you. Your sole presence made him happy, made him want to start jumping, running towards you.

It was inevitable.

He liked that when you laughed, even if you were in a large group, you would look right into his eyes. Something inside him fluttered whenever you smiled at him. 

You were his happy place, time was just a concept when you were near.

He had let slip a couple of times an innocent “love you”, that you had taken as a friendly love you, but he was sure he had fallen for you. All your friends knew, his family knew, but you didn’t. 

To you he was your confort friend. He was always there, always happy, very interesting person that would never see you in other way more than a friend, that’s why you never gave it a thought, until one little get together with your friends, he had drunk a little too much.

You had a feeling.

Tonight you felt something was shifting, you had been nervous around him all night, couldn’t really look at him, look at his eyes nor talk to him. You felt your cheeks hotter than usual, your pulse a little faster, hands cold.

The feeling still there. 

He was sitting next to you in the couch, all your friends chatting with very little light in the huge living room with a loud movie in the background, his head in your shoulder, your hand in his, while he drew patterns in the back of your hand, singing swiftly to you as you tried to watch the not-so-good movie. 

Your heart, for some reason, was pounding hard. 

He stopped singing.

And then you swear your heart stopped for a split second as well. 

He said it.

Requested with a little twist.

He was there, yet you were cold.

There was a time, a short period of time, when he gave you warmth. It was kind of hard to explain. You were able to feel his love for you. You considered yourself as a very perceptive person. However, it could be your imagination as well, you were busier with uni stuff, it was your senior year, and didn’t have as much time to spend with Harry.

But he was colder. More distant. It was a fact that you tried to ignore.

There were many many songs in his last album, none of them about you. So many mourning songs, none of them about you. And he was writing some new songs. And guess what? Also not about you.

He was sure that he had feelings for you, it was just... at some point he was sure it was love. Now not as much. Because the more he didn’t see you, the more he missed her.

Her.

His former girlfriend. She came as fast as a lighting and left as it. Harry had thought he had found the person. His person. He was wrong. It was all fun games for her.

Sadly, you were just a pawn in this game. And were played like one, used and no longer required.

Harry now knew it was wrong, to be with you after he found out about his real feelings after getting a little too tipsy and called her old number.

He loved you. Or so he tried to convince himself for a few weeks.

It was until you couldn’t hide it anymore. You guys had never had a fight, but once you saw him crying over a picture of her, Falling playing on the background an afternoon you were not supposed to be home, it was imminent.

You felt betrayed.

Played.

You had asked him about his feelings, he always replied with a sweet “I love you” and some presents, maybe a homemade breakfast or diner. Every time you tried to communicate your concerns he played it cool.

Enough was enough.

“Harry.” He jumped. You weren’t supposed to be home for another couple of hours. He locked his phone and tried to look alive by cleaning his tears.

“Babe” he tried clearing his throat, a loud gulp that could be heard from the living room.

You stood there, silent, looking at him in the eye as he stood up. His knees shaking a little bit. He tried to play it cool as well. You sighed.

You didn’t really know how handle that situation.

I mean, how could you? You stood in front of the man you loved, whom you hopped was the one, crying over the woman before you, when he had stated that he loved you.

Another sigh.

“Is there anything you want to tell me?” You said, as you inhaled deeply, trying to control the pounding beat inside your chest.

“No, ‘oney. How was your day?”

Harry knew that he was caught, looking at her picture, but closed his eyes and hopped your wouldn’t address it.

The truth was that you had become his safe place. Yeah, it was such a selfish thing to think, yet it was the truth.

You were such a happy person, the kind of person you see on the street or maybe just a pic on social media and you know they have such a nice energy, contagious. You were so interested in everything around you. Motivated.

But right now, as he finally looked at you in the eye, he didn’t see the girl he met a year ago. You looked pale, tired. And he wondered for a split second if he had anything to do with it.

“Harry.” You said, now a little irritated. And you knew it was the end.

He didn’t answer. He wanted this moment to pass already and just watch a movie with you. Cause that would be comfortable.

You had so many nice memories, so many great moments with him. And as much as you tried to push it aside... For a while you’ve known you’d better be off without him.

However, it was hard. Because you had felt in love with a man that was as warm as the sun, as happy as your favorite color, that made you want to sing on the top of your lungs your favorite songs. He had taught you how to romanticize and fall in love with your life. Now you just had to keep doing that without him, because as much as he was good for you once, you couldn’t let yourself get attached to something no longer exists. If it ever existed.

“Harry. We need to talk.”

“About what, babe?” You were getting pissed.

“About this relationship, Harry. We are not working, you obviously have feelings for someone else, and this is not good for me.”

“Of course we work together, love, don’t say things you don’t mean. I love you, you love me, that’s the end of the discussion.” He tried to hold you, but you took a step back.

You didn’t know when he had gotten so comfortable at lying to you.

He didn’t know either. It was probably because he really had convinced himself that you were the solution for everything that felt wrong in his life. He was being selfish for the first time in his life. He wanted to be saved, and you were the right person for the job, or so he believed.

“Harry, you don’t love me.”

“But I do. I do love you, baby” he took a step closer to you, and you took another step back. He had tears on the edges of his eyes. You had tears rolling down your cheeks.

It hurt, it hurt so much, because you actually loved him. He meant the world to you.

But it hurt more to see that when his smile lit up your world, your greatest efforts could lead to a laugh.

It hurt because you had pictured a lifetime with him. Because you had romanticized your life with him. Now you were giving up those dreams, for yourself.

“Why are you doing this to me, Harry?” You sobbed. He hadn’t noticed your tears until he heard your voice breaking. What was he doing?

“I need you.” He finally let out. You were pissed, for some reason.

“And I need to be happy, and letting you go is a way of loving myself, Harry. I hope you have a nice life, and that everything works out for you.

Goodbye.”

It was one of the hardest you had ever had to do, yet the best thing you could’ve done for yourself. As much as it hurt to admit.

You’ll be ok.

Sure, honey! I’ll start working on it. Sorry it’s taking so long, I’m really full with uni stuff.

Thanks for requesting it!

could you imagine one where she’s very smart with a degree in physics or something and he feels kind of insecure with himself, maybe because he doesn’t feel enough.

Since you were a little kid you were so curious, and physics were so interesting to you, it really involved everything, from the smallest particles to the whole universe, from how the universe was formed to how it may end. Of course, it was something you chose to pursue. Since you were 15 you would write papers and one of them was published by the age of 16 by a famous magazine. 

It was your true passion, your true love, but not your only love. Your parents have always been so proud of you, but parents will be parents, and they were worried that such a smart woman might not find a life partner, but you did, and he was the most loving, caring person you’ve met. He took care of you when you had too much on your plate, even when he was so busy himself, cooked for you, drove you, it was an understatement to say that you loved that man with every cell in your body.

And he, oh, he loved you too, with such an intensity it sometimes scared him a little. He looked up to you, he knows you are so smart and so beautiful, a pure soul, he felt the luckiest man on earth. Sure, it could be said that he was intimidated by your knowledge, but it also lured him on so many ways. So, he started to read more than he used to, even picked up some of your habits, like listening to podcasts while running, or reading before sleeping instead of watching the telly, lowkey wanting to have more things to talk with you about.

Lately he had been feeling a little insecure, he had never considered himself dumb, or less intelligent than anybody, but after a fancy reception with some of your peers, he had been having his doubts, you had been genuinely laughing at some physic jokes he didn’t quite get yet pretended to understand in order to fit. It had been the first time he felt like an outsider, and he had never seen you fully in your environment, it was different when you were with his friends at one of his parties with loud music, a beer and some odd jokes. He started to feel stupid and way less funny, that’s why he hadn’t really talked much to you, that’s when you picked something was wrong.

“Harry, honey, are you ok?” It had been exactly three days since your party, and it was cookie Wednesday and Harry didn’t make one of his smarty remarks about them.

“Yes, petal, your cookies are luscious.” He smiled at you. He was reading “the Briefer Brief History of Time” by Stephen Hawking.

“luscious?” you raised an eyebrow; he had never used that word. He turned to you with a frown on his face.

“Yeah, luscious, exquisite, appetizing.” He kind of snapped at you.

“H, I know what it means, are you sure everything is ok? You are acting kind of weird.” you said with your softest voice.

He sighed.

“I want to ask you something, please be honest with me.”

“Harry, you are scaring me a little.” You said, honestly, as you sat next to him at the couch.

“Do you think I am dumb?” he said, eyes on his lap.

Then you connected some dots, he had been acting strange since the reunion with your colleagues, he hadn’t said any jokes or hasn’t really been playful at all.

“Of course, not, Harry Edward, you are so very smart, and that’s a fact and my opinion.” You moved so now you were next to him, you put his cup of tea in the table next to him, he put his book next him as well and you sat on his lap, hands on his cheeks.

“But you laughed so much at their jokes, smart jokes.” He pouted, his mood much better now, his hands on the small of your back, he was fighting a smile, you could tell.

“Yeah, but they are not as funny as you are, you make me laugh, genuinely.” You looked deep into his eyes, and so did he.

“I love you, so very much, smart girl.” He loved the smile you had on at the moment, eyes almost disappearing, it made his heart pound hard on his chest.

A/N: Hey love! I like angst too, not sure if I hit it this time tho, I’ll give it a second read tomorrow. Thanks for the request. Hope you are safe. Enjoy!

Being a twin was quite an experience, when you and your twin sister were children, since you were identical twins you used to prank your parents and friends all the time, your mom used to dress you two exactly the same, the only difference a bracelet with your names on it.

As you grew up, each one started to show so much more how different you two were, you loved science and investigation, meanwhile your sister, Amy, loved cinema, photography, she was so extrovert and you a little more into the introvert side of things.

And it was ok, you did enjoy being at home with your books, some confortable clothes and a good tea, and admired how much energy Amy had, she went out all the time with a lot of your friends, because you had the same friends, and they understood that you wanted to stay home time to time.

When it was time to go to college, your parents wanted the both of you to study the same thing, but you had decided that you wanted to be a doctor and Amy wanted to study photography, and so you applied to medschool and got accepted. It was the best thing that could’ve happened to you. A full scholarship, you wouldn’t disappoint yourself or your parents. It was your priority, your career.

Who knew that you would end up meeting your first boyfriend ever in a public library a rainy Saturday morning, but there he was, the library almost empty, yet he asked if he could sit in front of you.

And of course you accepted, and couldn’t help but notice him staring at you from time to time, then he talked to you, made you laugh, went for lunch.

It was hard for you to accept him as something more than a friend, you had never let anyone in in that way, you were petrified. Also, you didn’t want to get distracted by anything, your career was your top, but you ended up falling for that sweet smile and corny jokes.

Now he’s been your boyfriend for a little over a year, it felt right to bring him home to your parents, since you’ve know his family for months now.

Your sister was there too, she opened the door, and of course Harry knew about her, but it’s always the same reaction, “omg, she looks just like you.”

Your parents loved him, he was so confortable that by the second day at your parents house he was playing monopoly with them while you were studying in your room.

By the end of the day you hadn’t heard from Harry not even once, and you were happy that he was so confortable with your family, but his lack of attention towards you was bothering you a little.

It was almost midnight, when you went downstairs for some food when you heard giggles coming from the living room, your twin sister, Amy and Harry were on the same couch, Harry’s arm over your sister’s side of the couch as she laughed at something he said.

When Harry noticed you he stood up with that same smile he gives you.

“Babeeee! I missed you!” You just smiled the best you could.

It was the first time that you felt... jealousy perhaps?

It’s just...

Yeah, you and your sister were physically identical, but deep down you felt as if people liked her more than you. She had something... she was more charismatic, more... more something. You were always more serious, people told you that all the time. You had the same friends because she always included you.

And yeah, you had thought about how Harry and Amy would match just perfect, both had that something. And to think about that was unsettling to you.

You hated how you felt.

You almost wanted to cry.

Maybe it was all part of your insecurity?

Just your mind playing games at you?

You were great too... right?

Of course you wouldn’t tell Harry about that, it was something stupid.

So you just watched the two of them for the next two days, watched them laugh and get along more and more everyday.

You also noticed how Harry barely spoke to you those three days you had been home.

Sure you were studying, but when you are at your place he’s always with you, even helping you.

The next day was your flight back to London, and you wanted to be strong and not cry until you are alone at your place, you really did try, but tears started to fall down your cheeks.

You tried to be quiet, since Harry was sleeping right next to you, but also failed as a sob left your mouth, and that’s all it took, he was up, he turned to you, still half asleep.

“Babe? Are you ok?”

You only nodded and tried to turn your back at him, but he was faster and held you, turning the little lamp next to him on, eyes big now, you were crying. He had seen you cry like two times total, and you had your reasons.

“Oh, my. Kitten? Why are you crying?”

You just shook your head no, you weren’t ready to face all your feelings, not out loud. Not if by the end of the conversation he chose Amy and not you. You really did felt for him.

“Are you feeling bad?”

You shook no.

“Does something hurt?”

You shook no again.

“Was it a bad dream?”

Shook again.

“Kitten, talk to me. Maybe I can help.”

How could he be so naive?

How could you be so naive? Of course he liked your sister more than you.

You had to tell him, it was the right thing to do. You wanted him to be as happy as possible, and you also wanted the best for Amy, and Harry was the best.

“Maybe we should break up.”

Your voice was barely a whisper, but he heard you, and he felt all his blood falling to his feet.

It was so unexpected. You two were so happy. Or that’s what he thought.

He had never felt that happy ever, he truly loved you, and felt everyday more and more for you, so your words hit him like a pile of bricks, it got hard to breath.

“What?” He said, as tears filled his eyes. He tried to swallow the lump on his throat. “Why?”

“It’s for the best, Harry.” He felt a little angry now. Were you just playing with him? Why would you bring him to your parents house just to break up with him?

When you finally asked him to go with you to meet your parents he was beyond excited. He thought you were moving forward.

“The best? The best for whom?”

“For you, Harry. It’s so obvious.”

“Isn’t it obvious that I love you? That you make me so damn happy? The happiest I’ve ever been? Why on earth do you want us to break up?”

It hurt you so much to see him like this, so vulnerable, eyes red and breathing so fast it must hurt.

“Do you like Amy?”

He looked so confused. Not sure why you were asking such a thing.

“How is that relevant now?”

“You didn’t answer.” You said, ready to give him up to your sister.

“Stop playing, babe. Is this a joke?”

“No, do you like Amy more than me?”

Now he kind of understood.

“You think I like your sister more than you?”

You tried so hard not to cry harder, and Harry was trying so hard not to laugh, a nervous laugh. Praying internally that that was all, and not that you didn’t love him anymore.

“No! Babe, of course I don’t like her more than I like you, I love you, your character, your vibes, how passionate you are, stubborn and hardworking. I could never like or love anyone more than you, even someone who looks just like you.”

“But you would make such a great couple with her. She’s just like you. And it seems like you really like her, bet she likes you too. Maybe you just met the wrong sister. I won’t be mad, I promise.” You said, head down.

“Babe, kitten... I don’t even... are you nuts

?” He said half smiling, taking your chin with his index and thumb, making you look at him, his other hand drying the tears down your cheeks, as his own tears started to dry out.

“I love you. You and only you. I’m sorry if I did anything to make you think otherwise, you mean the world to me. You keep me on my feet, you make me happy, not only how you look, and don’t misunderstand me, you are smoking hot, but it’s you, what’s on the inside that drives me crazy, how much I love you it’s indescribable, you make me better, I love you, ok? I wouldn’t change you, ever. So I won’t let you break us up. We are too good to be apart. Ok?”

Happy tears felt down your cheeks now as you nodded.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, kitten, just say you take me back, cause you scared the he’ll out of me for a second, babe.”

You giggled a little.

“I take you back.”

“I love you” he said truthfully as he pecked your lips.

Sure honey, thanks for asking!

I have not proof read it, will soon, tho. Hope you enjoy it! 

It was your one of your closest friend birthdays and as always, her parties were beyond awesome, friends of yours, acquittances and complete strangers having fun all night. This year it was no exception, and of course Harry knew about it, he was invited as well, yet he had a recording session he had forgotten about, so he had to miss the party… or most of it at least, since he had separated the recording booth at night in order not to get caught by paparazzi’s.

You had been so stressed with everything lately that you craved one of these kind of parties, your best friend near you, you have never seen her drunk, she has a great metabolism for alcohol,  so you let yourself go, knowing well she would take good care of you, drinking everything everyone offered,  dancing without caring the numbness in your feet caused by your poor  decision of wearing very high heels, singing along all the songs you knew and after a couple of hours making up words to song you had never heard of, huge smile on your face.

You never heard or felt your phone ringing in the belt of your dress, or maybe chose not to hear it, or feel it vibrating. Harry had gotten there, and of course wanted to know where were you, but no answer from you and there were too many people. He grew kind of worried, you always pick your phone up, always, even when mad. What if something had happened to you? Yes, he had sent you with a full tummy, he gave you heavy carbs and protein, he didn’t want the alcohol to hit you fast. He was even more worried when he saw your best friend dancing with some guy and you were nowhere to be seen. Had someone taken you far? Maybe to a dorm? The sole thought of that gave him goosebumps, and not the nice ones. He had a bottle of water on his left hand, aspirin in his bac pocket and phone on his right hand, while his eyes traveled literally everywhere looking for your hair, maybe your black dress when the yellow light hit instead of the blue or green ones that made everything darker.

He had also told you he would be the one picking you up, not to leave the party with anyone but him, and yes, it sounded vey fatherly, but he knew that you not being a party person, or at least no the kind of person who goes to parties frequently that you were not used to dealing with some people who always went for more than just dancing. He had seen with his very own eyes how people, specially man devoured you with their eyes just walking by. And yes, he was jealous just like that, just with the thought of someone with their arms around you, your back against theirs just as you two liked to dance, his face in your neck while taking your scent in. He walked faster around the big apartment, heart pounding along the music.

Then he saw you, dancing with a group of girls, singing at the top of your lungs, smiling, arms searching for the ceiling, his own mind quieter, even with the loud music, you were ok, no one had taken you far from him, no man with their arms tight around your waist, just you with your group of friends, having the time of your life. It wasn’t until you saw him and stumbled as you tried to reach him that he noticed how drunk you were, and you did smell like alcohol. A huge grin on your face as you approached him, voice strained from all yelling, giving a few extra YYYY to his name. “HARRYYYYYY, you came, Hun.” And barely made it to his arms, feet hurting way too much to walk, making harry stumble a little himself as he picked you up, laughing at the scene yourself, because it was funny, your big, tall boyfriend picking you up in bridal style because your feet hurt… or at least you found it funny.

You were talking, or trying to talk to him, whispering sweet words in his ear as he walked to his car, a little worried about you, you had drunk way too much, he had never seen you so drunk, ever. You were almost home when you made him pull over, throwing up, harry quick to grab your hair and sooth you, he was worried, yet when you were done you just kept laughing, which made him relax a little. Then he gave you that bottle of water. And it wasn’t till you got home that your drunken mind decided to pull a little prank on him. As he picked you up in bridal style again, you kept “talking” to him, and then pretended to faint, out of nowhere. His blood turned cold, eyes wide as he ran to the living room, putting you delicately on the couch, heart pounding, feeling it even in his ears, saying your name really loud till you broke in to laughter.