rhi rhi

It did seem like something was there between you two and you knew you weren’t crazy in thinking that. Glances at each other lingering just long enough to not be casual, him going out of his way to get your favorite drink ready for you when you showed up to the hockey house, close proximity always making the air heavy between you two, just like right now.

Logan got a nasty hit during the game tonight, Garrett having texted you that he was on his way back to the hockey house, while the rest of them went out to celebrate the win. You were hanging out in Garrett’s room when the front door opened. Getting up, you walked to the top of the stairs, seeing Logan entering, walking very stiff. He glances up, seeing you standing there, his eyes doing a once over of your, seeing you standing there in a tank top and shorts. Just seeing you made his mood better, a light smile coming across his face.

“Hey baby G,” he sighs, dropping the bag, the nickname making your heart warm.

“Garrett told me about the hit, you okay?”

“Yeah, just got a cut and some bruises, I’m good.”

Something in you didn’t believe him. You walk down the stairs, standing in front of him. Seeing him up close, you noticed the cut on his cheekbone.

“Jesus, what the hell happened?”

“Got checked by someone, must’ve scratched myself when I took my helmet off.”

“Lemme clean it for you.”

“Oh, you don’t have to.”

“I know. I want to.”

Logan obliges, following you up the stairs before he walks to his bedroom, you head to the bathroom. He quickly drops his bag and heads into the bathroom. He finds you in there, squeezing out the excess water in a washcloth before grabbing it and walking up to him. Your eyes scan his face before you bring your hand up, wiping away any excess blood before dabbing the cut.

Logan’s watches you the entire time, this close proximity making him nervous. He exhales through his nose, trying to shake the thoughts as you toss the washcloth into the sink, grabbing some Neosporin to apply to the cut. Smiling as you finish, he smiles back at you before you break the eye contact, the tension becoming too strong for you.

Crouching down, you pull the first aid kit out from under the sink to grab a bandaid, as Logan leans against the other end of the counter, folding his arms, wincing before uncrossing them. You catch the sound, your head whipping to him.

“What else is wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Logan.”

“It’s nothing.”

“John.”

He sighs. “Fine, I may have gotten hit harder than I realized, my side is killing me,” he admits.

Shaking your head, you stand up, motioning your eyes to the spot on him he was talking about, eyebrows raised waiting for him to show you. Logan grabs the bottom of his shirt, raising it towards his chest, just enough for you to see the giant purple bruise forming on his side.

“Fucking hell,” you mumble, noticing not only the massive bruise, but also how damn good he looks under this shirt.

'Not the time', you thought.

You glance up at him and wait for consent before he nods. Your fingers lightly graze the area, Logan tensing at the chill he got from your hand touching him.

Given the circumstances, Logan is trying everything in his power to ignore the dull feeling he’s getting in his groin as you continue to examine him, closely. Had he known he was going to end up like this, he would’ve opted for something else aside from a pair of gray sweatpants. He looks down, seeing the focused look on your face, finding it adorable, as you take the shirt from his hand, holding it yourself as you apply a bruise cream to the area. He drops his hand, wincing as you dab over the bruise.

“Sorry,” you say, the sounds he’s making distracting you. 

You finish, leaning back up to stand straight, wiping your fingers on the washcloth. Your eyes trail up Logan’s body to his eyes, him already looking at you. The air feels thick as you both stand way too close, looking at each other way too intensely.

Your eyes make the mistake of dropping to his lips for a split second, just enough for Logan to notice. The tiniest smirk grazes his face as you can’t help the light smile forming on your face. You both are so caught up in the moment, neither of you register the sound of the front door opening or the sound of heavy steps walking up the stairs.

✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧

Garrett freezes when he sees what he’s walked into, looking into the bathroom. His heart drops, mind racing, the way you and Logan were standing eerily mirroring a position you were in as kids. He just sees a younger you, cleaning up a cut younger Garrett had on his face as a result of one of your dad’s rage fits. Minus the shirt bunched up in your hand.

The triggered look on Garrett’s face is something you’re not a stranger to, immediately stepping back and dropping Logan’s shirt, building space between you and him as you look from Logan back to Garrett,

“Hey G, how was Malone’s?” you ask, trying to alleviate any tension that was clearly lingering.

“What were you doing?” he sternly asked.

“Logan mentioned he was still hurting and I offered to help him out…” you trail off, feeling small and lectured.

His eyes move from yours to Logan’s.

“Don’t be putting the moves on my sister, Logan,” he says before leaving the bathroom. Your shoulders relax, exhaling as emotions of embarrassment coursing through your veins. Logan looks back to you, noticing the now dazed and guarded look in your eyes.

“Hey, you okay?” he asked, genuine concern coming from his voice. You look back up at him, blinking some tears away and seemingly snapping out of whatever was bugging you. 

“Yeah… hope you feel better,” you dismiss, moving past him and walking out of the bathroom.

Trying to gather your thoughts in the short walk from the bathroom to Garrett’s room felt impossible. You get to his room, knocking on his door. The door swings open faster than you anticipated, him inviting you in. Walking in, you're taken aback by his body language, his face still stern, as you shut the door.

"You can't date him."

"Who said anything about dating? I told you, I was helping him, you were the one who told me he got hit, I couldn’t just leave him in pain!"

"Okay fine, but I saw the way he was looking at you tonight, I've seen him look at you like that for months."

Your heart drops at the unexpected news. The thought of Logan actually liking you back felt so farfetched. Garrett's voice snaps you back out of your thoughts,

"Whatever little crush you have on him too, get rid of it."

"Wow, you're really dogging out your best friend like that?" you snap back. The furrow in Garrett's eyebrows loosens, him not expecting that.

"Even if I liked Logan and he liked me and we wanted to live happily ever after, would you not want me to be happy?! Logan is a great guy, you of all people should know that, but yet you're making him sound like he's some villain."

Silence fills the room as Garrett continues to struggle to find his words.

"Logan is not dad, G." 

Garrett's mind races, hundreds of thoughts bombarding him the more you spoke. Deep down, he knew you were right. If anyone were to date you, he'd want it to be with someone who was empathetic, caring, kind. Someone exactly like Logan. He couldn’t help but be overprotective of you, knowing the circumstances you both grew up in. Garrett had adapted the trait of being the protector. He would keep you safe as best as he could. He felt a slight sense of guilt wash over him, never wanting to overstep but feeling like he has in this moment.

"You can't protect me forever, Garrett. I need you to know that I can trust my own instincts and I can take care of myself," you plea, just begging to be heard.

Garrett paces around the room, hands on his hips as you nod.

"No, no you're right. You are. I've spent our entire lives protecting you, it feels like something I've just been wired to always do," he admits, the words leaving him being the first time he's ever admitted them out loud.

"I know. And you know I appreciate you, more than you'll ever know. But if I need you, I will find you," you state, walking over to him, the closeness forcing him to look at you.

He looks down at you, nodding as he smiles.

"I'm not gonna make it easy on him, ya know."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," you reply, fighting the smile on your face, Garrett knowing you're full of shit.

✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧

Logan had been hanging out downstairs, playing video games, unaware of the conversation taking place upstairs. He had a good idea of what was being said though, making him feel conflicted himself. He heard a set of footsteps climbing down the stairs. Pausing the game, he looks back, seeing you coming down. He hangs his arm off the back of the couch, smiling at you before he sees Garrett following behind you. 

You give him a shy smile before opening the front door and presumably, heading back to your dorm. Garrett reaches the bottom of the stairs, Logan's eyes meeting his. He walks over to lock the door before joining Logan on the couch.

"You good bro?" Logan asks.

"Do you like my sister?" Garrett blurts out.

Logan's heart drops at the suddenness of the question. The obvious answer, yes. The more complicated and real answer, yes but I know you don't want your sister dating any of us for some reason so it's incredibly difficult because every time I'm around her, I feel like I'm floating.

"I think she's cool." 

"Not what I'm asking."

Logan's silence prompts Garrett to continue.

"She deserves the best. I'm not gonna let anyone jeopardize that."

"Why are you giving me some protective dad talk?"

Garrett's jaw clenches. He didn't think it was fair to tell Logan all of your personal business and gripes about the abuse you personally had gone through during your childhood. That was your story to tell. Garrett had told Logan a bit of his history, so surely Logan had some idea of where this was coming from.

"I just don't wanna see her hurt."

"Neither do I," Logan quickly states, honestly riddled in his voice.

Guilt creeps back into Garrett's body, feeling bad for doubting his best friend. These feelings truly had stemmed from his upbringing and his need to want to protect you. He couldn’t help these defense mechanisms being his go to. But he was willing to work on it if it meant not only his best friend, but his sister, would be happy.

"You know..." Logan starts, "I'm sure she can handle herself," he says, reaffirming what you had said earlier to him. 

“I know she can. She deserves the world. So. If you want her, prove it.”

Garrett gets up, heading back upstairs, leaving Logan on the couch, deep in his own thoughts. Logan knew he liked you the moment he met you. While you shared similar traits to Garrett, he was attracted to your personality and the way you lit up any room you walked into. A soft chuckle left his lips.

Challenge accepted.

✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧

As the days passed by, conversations between you and Logan continued, mostly through texts. You both found yourself passively avoiding each other, especially when Garrett was around. This seemed to be a tender time for everyone. You and Logan, both trying to figure out how to navigate these feelings for each other without confessing to the other. Garrett, trying to learn to swallow his pride and trust you and Logan.

Friday night approaches, game night for the Hawks, and you’re seated in the front row behind the Hawks bench, the ‘friends and family’ pass hanging from your neck. A few friends joined you as the game kicked off, the guys playing tough per usual. Your eyes bounce from jersey 44 to jersey 22 throughout the duration of the game, finding 22 more than you’d like to admit.

Time passed and before you know it, the game is tied 1-1 with minutes left. Nerves break out inside you, along with the rest of the crowd as the timer ticks down. Your eyes track the puck, Briar maintaining control before Logan gets the puck, swinging it back and forth with his stick, distracting the goalie as he strikes the puck, smacking it straight into the net just as the buzzer hits 0:00.

The crowd, you included jumps up in cheers, screams heard as the alarms sound signally a Briar goal. The team rushes the ice, surrounding Logan, all celebrating his goal and the team’s win. Eventually, the team makes their way back to the bench. Logan’s eyes find yours, him pointing at you with a wink. Blushing, you smile at him, the interaction noticed by Garrett, glancing at both of you.

An idea crosses Logan’s mind as he skates back onto the ice, motioning for you to come down to meet him. You furrow your eyebrows, laughing lightly as you weave your way through the row, stepping down to the other side of the stand blocking fans from going into the ice. As you’re doing this, Logan skates over, taking his helmet off and flicking his hair back before skating right to where you are.

He towers over you in his skates, him looking at you the same way Garrett described. Like you mattered. Like he wanted you. Without any words being physically exchanged, your brains had the same thought as you met each other in the middle, Logan leaning down to connect his lips with yours. His hands move to your face, holding your cheeks delicately as your hand grabs his upper arm. You both break away from the kiss, a smile being impossible to hide for either of you.

Garrett, who had witnessed the whole thing, found himself not feeling anger or hesitance, but peace in seeing two of the most important people to him happy.

And that’s what mattered at the end of the day.

✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧

Deciding to take two cars, you drove alone as Hannah and Allie followed behind you in Hannah’s car. As you continued to drive, the snow became heavier and heavier, the visibility lessening for you. The girls decided to pull over for a quick pee break, you letting them know you were going to keep going.

Seeing the snow finally let up, a sigh of relief comes from you, as you can at least see now. Maintaining a fair distance from the car in front of you and not going too fast, you were determined to get there on time and safely.

It was only a matter of time before the familiar feeling of your tires skidding makes your heart drop in your stomach. You try gently turning the wheel, foot hovering over the brake as your car eventually reaches the stop sign, coming to a complete stop at the divided highway. 

Slowing your breathing down, you exhale, thankful nothing too scary happened. Seconds later, a car rear ends you, most likely unable to stop properly on the ice as well, causing your car to be pushed into the middle of the highway. Attempting to turn your wheel and move was a lost cause, the gas pedal doing nothing as your tires skid in place. A loud horn sounds as you look out of your driver’s side window, seeing bright headlights coming straight for you.

Your heart lurches in your throat, the car slamming into the center of the driver's side your car. Your head whips to the side on impact, your car now being pushed by the truck, unable to stop. Eventually, you separate from the truck as they successfully hit their brakes, only to send your car ping ponging off a metal pole as your car slides into a ditch.

Snow starts to pour down again as you finally stop, angled awkwardly in the ditch, the car tilting to the right. Your right foot managed to get stuck under the now busted brake pedal, any movement sending waves of pain through your foot and up your body. Airbags deployed, every light on your dash on or flashing, your seatbelt locking you in place. Being too scared to unbuckle it and do more damage, you leave it alone.

Trying to breathe and stop the tears, you try and reach for your purse. Your phone peeks out, just out of your reach, a loud groan leaving your lips as you realize you're trapped. A sense of lightheadedness creeps up on you, not knowing how severe your injuries were, you closed your eyes, focused on your breathing, praying that someone would help you.

Hannah and Allie weren’t too far behind you, confusion finding them as they still haven’t seen your car. They approach the divided highway, Allie noticing some slight debris in the road.

“What the hell?” she says, looking around, seeing a truck stuck in the middle of the road. She watches as the guy who presumably was in the truck runs towards the ditch. Allie’s heart drops, seeing a strange brush of the grass and snow paved out as if something slid through it, leading into the ditch. 

“Hannah, pull over, they might need help.” Allie says. Hannah doesn’t question her, pulling off to the side of the road, putting the car in park. Allie rushes out, not caring if she slips on ice. Snow continues to fall as she runs to the top of the ditch. Her heart sinks, seeing a Briar U bumper heart shaped sticker, distorted from the initial hit but still visible on the right side of the back of the car.

The bumper sticker she gave you.

“Fuck! Call 911!’ Allie shouts out to someone, anyone, as she runs down the hill, Hannah on her trail, grabbing her phone. Allie finally reaches the car, her heart sinking once again, seeing you passed out in the driver’s seat. She yells out your name.

“Shit! We’re here, okay?! We’re gonna get you outta there!” she yells, not even knowing if you can hear her.

After what feels like hours, the police and fire rescue arrive, safely extracting you from the car, getting you onto a stretcher as you groan in pain at any sudden movements. The girls get the approval to leave Hannah’s car as they both get in the back of the ambulance with you, one of the firefighters handing Allie your purse with your belongings. Hannah holds your hand as Allie pulls your phone out to start calling your family. After notifying your family, she puts your phone away, grabbing hers from her pocket. Before she can call Dean, your mumbles catch her attention.

“Shhh try not to talk, okay?” Allie soothes.

“Logan…” you mumble, “someone… has to tell Logan,” you finish, your eyes slowly blinking, slightly loopy from the morphine given to you to help ease your pain. Allie and Hannah’s eyes leave yours to look at each other, both incredibly confused, thinking you’re just extra loopy. Hannah looks back down to you, leaning in closer to you.

“John… Logan?” Hannah asks. You nod ever so slightly.

Logan’s hanging out with the guys at the house, complaining once again about Tucker’s massive Christmas to-do list when his phone buzzes in his pocket. He laughter dies down, smile fading, confused when he sees the caller ID as ‘Allie Dean’. They were chill with each other, sure but never really interacted too much unless she was with Dean, hence the contact name. Unsure if it’s a butt dial, he answers.

“Hello?”

Logan’s chest tightens hearing Allie’s stressed voice, rambling as she explains what she knows about your situation and mentions that although strange to her, you asked her to call him. The guys look at Logan with concern, seeing the way his face dropped and the color seemed to wash away from his face. Allie drops the name of the hospital you’re headed to.

“You gotta get here now.”

✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧

Logan enters the hospital faster than humanly possible, scouring the waiting room until he finds the girls sitting there, nervous looks on their faces. Garrett, Dean and Tucker follow behind him, the same stressed looks on their faces.

“Where is she?!” Logan asked, worried out of his mind. Hannah reassured him that you were currently in surgery and most importantly, that you were alive. Logan runs his hands through his hands as he sits down, his head now sitting in his hands as he tries to slow down his breathing, the adrenaline consuming him.

“What the fuck happened?” Dean asked, rushing to hug and comfort Allie.

Hannah tries to explain everything they know, not knowing how you ended up in the ditch. They described your injuries, Allie explaining how she found you, tears welling up in her eyes. The energy in the waiting room is heavy, not just from the stress of your unknown status, but of everyone but Logan looking at each other, confused yet intrigued about what was going on between the two of you.

No one brought it up, obviously wrong place, wrong time, but the thoughts did circulate, along with waiting, hoping and praying you’re okay. 

After what felt like hours, the surgeon enters the waiting room, calling out your last name. All six heads snap towards the sound of his voice, Logan getting up the fastest as the surgeon walks over to the group.

“She’s stable,” he starts, exhales and sighs of relief leaving everyone.

“She did break her right foot and she’s got some minor fractures in her leg, along with some torn muscles, some cuts and bruises from the impact. Fortunately, there were no signs of spinal injury or any internal bleeding, but we did find signs of whiplash and the few broken bones. She’s incredibly lucky,” he finishes.

Logan rubs his sweaty palms against his pants, his body still shaking from the overwhelming anxiety. The surgeon continues,

“We’ve got her in the ICU now. We’re going to keep an eye on her for a little bit before we can move her to a room, then she can have visitors,” he finishes. Everyone says their thanks before sitting down.

The longer the wait, the more nervous Logan got. His leg bouncing at a rapid rate, him constantly standing up and pacing around the room. His heart raced in his chest at the thought of anything happening to you. Although he felt relief knowing you were okay, not being able to physically see you, to physically touch you, was killing him.

After what felt like days, into the late hours of the night, a nurse comes out, saying your last name, once again, grabbing everyone’s attention.

“She’s finally settled in her room, we can start bringing you guys back, but it’ll have to be one at a time,” she explains.

Garrett pats Logan on the back, “Go. Go see your girl.”

Logan nearly tears up, not even caring that everyone knows now. Everyone nods in agreement as Logan follows the nurse back into the inpatient rooms area. His heart races, not knowing what to expect. Eventually, he and the nurse arrive at the door, opening it softly. 

Logan’s body tenses up, anxiety bubbling up inside him. You lay on the bed, peacefully sleeping, an oxygen mask sitting lightly in your nose. A small cut on your left temple, scrapes on your arms, your foot elevated in a sling and wrapped in a cast.

He didn’t think he hated anything the way he hated seeing you so hurt, so vulnerable, so quiet. The nurse leaves, shutting the door behind him as he approaches the bed. You lie there, another wave of nausea coming over him, his mind thinking the absolute worst. He finds the spare chair in the room and gently pulls it over so he can sit at your bedside. His hand reaches up to find yours, being careful to not touch any wires. Slight redness graces your knuckles as Logan brings your hand up to his lips, kissing your knuckles, wishing he could take away all of your pain.

“I’m so fucking glad you’re okay,” he mumbles into your hand, before dropping both your hands on the bed. As if his words had some magic touch, your brows furrow as you shift slightly, your eyes opening slowly, a groggy, glazed look in your eyes.

“Hey, hey…” Logan says, standing up so you can see him without having to move your head too much. “You’re okay.” he says, for you but also for him.

“Water… please,” you croak out, Logan letting go of your hand, finding the cup of water sitting on the counter. He grabs it, extending the straw for you as you try and sit up, grunting in pain. 

The ice cold water washes into you like you had been dehydrated for weeks, instantly feeling better before nodding to signal you were done. Logan puts the cup down before coming back to you, sitting down in the chair. Despite the pain in your neck, you turn your head, a tear that was sitting in your eye falls down your cheek, bottom lip quivering.

“I thought I was gonna die,” you say, voice breaking, fighting more tears that threatened to spill.

Logan’s hand comes up to your head, lightly moving the hair from your forehead before kissing it, soothing you with gentle hands, his thumb lightly grazing your temple.

“I know, baby, I know. But you didn’t. You’re here and you’re safe,” he reassures, his thumb moving to your cheek. With a light nod, you agree, thankful that this didn’t go where you thought it was going to, being trapped in that car for so long.

After a few moments of a now more comfortable silence, Logan speaks up again,

“Allie called me, she and Hannah found you,”.

Tears refill your eyes, guilt washing over you knowing you had probably traumatized both of them, them having to see you like that. Logan immediately clocks it, shutting down those thoughts.

"Hey, this was not your fault. Thank God they were there and were able to get help, right?" he reassures. You nod, Logan's thumb coming to wipe the tears off your cheeks.

“They all know.”

“Good. It was about time we told them,” you joke, a light giggle leaving your lips, your eyes still full of tears. Logan had never been happier to hear your laugh, joining you in laughter.

✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧

After the overnight stay, your vitals looked good and you were cleared to go home. After seeing everyone, you insisted that they all went home and got some sleep. Logan had immediately said no to that, staying with you the entire night, camping out on the guest chair in your room. Once you got discharged, the nurse wheeled you out on a wheelchair to the front drive, Logan pulling his truck around the front. He and the nurse both worked to get you in the truck, saying your goodbyes and thanks before heading to your apartment.

You hobble off the elevator on your crutches, muscles still sore as you approach your apartment door. Logan opens your front door for you as you enter, you immediately finding your couch. Sighing, you plop down, thankful for finally be rid of that hospital bed.

“You hungry?” 

“Oh my god, yes, I’m so tired of hospital lasagna and Jello cups.”

Logan stayed with you at your place for the first week of your recovery. The way he always took care of you, doing everything you needed - half the time without you even needing to ask - made this recovery process so much lighter and less stressful. No matter how frustrated you got, he always knew exactly what to say to calm you down and comfort you.

✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧

Following that first week, after your energy came back, you and Logan made your way to the hockey house, hanging out with everyone, you needing desperately to get out of the house. A hangout with your friends is exactly what you needed.

You all sit on the couch, Logan setting a pillow down on the coffee table for your foot, helping you hike your leg up before he sat down next to you as you both explain, well, everything.

"You guys have been dating?"

“For months??!”

"No way."

“And you didn’t tell anyone?”

“Why wouldn’t you say anything?”

Questions bombarded both of you as you laughed. “In my defense, I was gonna tell you girls at the cabin,” you say, giggling.

Despite this very traumatic event, you found yourself incredible grateful for not just your boyfriend, but the group of friends you had surrounding you. This was going to continue to be a long and frustrating recovery process, but knowing you have the support system behind you that you do, alleviated some of that pain for you.

✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧

The energy tonight felt different for you in particular and not in a good way. The past month had been incredibly stressful, classes actually being less stressful than your personal life for once. So much so, that you had to be forced to come out tonight, your friends begging you, as you all never missed karaoke night.

One of your friends snaps you out of your thoughts, suggesting that you go up and sing something, hoping it would maybe make you feel better. You appreciated the sentiment. Your friends had no idea what was going on with you, but knowing you the way they did, they just wanted to help in any way they could.

Thinking it over, you found yourself agreeing, hoping that maybe, just maybe, you could let your emotions out via song and just move on from all this mess and also send a message. Sneaking out of the booth you were sitting at, you track Jules and their karaoke list down, asking to be put on the list. Jules gladly agrees, writing down your name and song of choice. 

Minutes later, your name is heard over the mic, your friends getting up with you to head to the front to support you. They cheer and clap obnoxiously as you blush, making your way to the stage. Adjusting the height of the mic stand, your eyes traveled along the crowd and you make eye contact with John Logan, standing at one of the bar tops with his hockey buddies and some of their girlfriends.

You freeze as the music starts. Forcing yourself to snap out of your thoughts, you begin, singing 'Baby, Now That I’ve Found You' by The Foundations, tearing the roof off the place as you lose yourself in the music. The upbeat music allowing you to ignore all the negative thoughts swarming in your head. Dancing around the stage, walking over to your friends and singing to them, making your way around the restaurant, you captivated everyone in the bar.

Logan's eyes followed you as you walked past the front of where he was standing, not bothering to make eye contact with him. He hated not having your attention, but he loved seeing you so happy, performing your heart out.

Cheers filled up Malone’s as you finished, and you smile before hooking the mic back up and heading back down to walk towards your friends. A hand on your arm lightly stops you in your tracks, your eyes meet a girl’s bright blue ones, her smiling at you. You recognized her instantly - Hannah Wells.

“You sounded incredible!” she says. “Your energy up there was magnetic, we all loved it,” she compliments, motioning to the group she was standing with. Allie Hayes stood next to her nodding in agreement as some of Briar’s hockey players also smiled politely, Logan being one of them, trying to blend in.

“Oh, thanks.”

“I love that song, any reason why you picked it?” she asks, trying to engage in friendly conversation.

“Uh… I like it too. And honestly, I just felt like it was a good sendoff song. A way to say goodbye to some feelings and personal stuff I’m dealing with,” you reply shyly, not wanting to trauma dump to these strangers. Your eyes glance over to Logan, whose eyes are practically burning holes into the side of your head.

“Very cathartic. I’m Allie by the way,” she says, waving at you, which you return. Your friends approach you from behind, knowing you well enough to know you needed an out from this conversation you were having. They yell out about how amazing you were, as you quickly say your goodbyes to Hannah and Allie, your eyes meeting Logan’s once more before you’re swiftly taken back to the booth you and your friends were sharing.

You couldn’t help but feel awkward during the entire interaction with Hannah, secretly thankful your friends swept you away. You had nothing against Hannah personally. She seemed like a great girl. So great in fact, that the guy who was your best friend that you were also hooking up with was secretly crushing on her, making you feel lots of conflicting emotions.

✧

“You like Hannah, don’t you?”

“What makes you say that?”

“You look at her like you're majoring in yearn-ology, Logan, I’m not blind,” you pause. “Does her boyfriend know?”

“Why does it matter if I like her? Or if Garrett knows? You’re not my girlfriend.”

His harsh words and defensiveness catch you off guard. To his point, he was right, you weren’t his girlfriend. But you had been hooking up for the past few months, creating a sense of intimacy that you both were fully aware of, but chose to ignore.

“I was just asking… And yeah, I’m not your girlfriend, but that’s kinda messed up to be hooking up with me when you want another girl…” you trail off.

“Why are you getting so weird about this? I'm not hooking up with anyone else, I haven't been this entire time."

The bizarre way he was reacting throwing you completely off guard.

“I haven't either... I don’t know what your issue is, I’m just trying to set things straight so I know where we stand.”

He stayed silent as you continued,

“I’m not gonna keep messing around with you if you like someone else.”

“Okay.”

Him not even fighting for you sends your heart into your stomach, a wave of sadness and embarrassment flooding inside you. Your feelings ran deeper than you were brave enough to admit, making this sting even more. Yes, you really enjoyed the time you spent with him, but not enough to keep going on like this. Swallowing the tight knot you feel in your throat, you exhale.

“Okay.”

✧

A month later and you find yourself still grieving – not just the ‘what could’ve been’, but all of the good memories you shared together. Sure, hooking up was exhilarating, Logan made you feel fucking incredible, but your friendship was raw, real and intimate – and that's what hurt the most. Grieving the loss of that aspect of your relationship, all while Logan seemed to not even care about you.

You and your friends have been hanging out in the booth, sharing plates and food. You all find yourselves incredibly confused when Logan approaches the table, asking to talk with you. ‘The nerve of him,’ you thought, your friends staring at you like you grew a third eye. You oblige, moreso to get out of the uncomfortable stares of your friends. You follow him as he takes you outside, holding the door open for you.

You walk so you’re out of sight from the bar windows. Crossing your arms to keep yourself physically guarded, you look at him as he slowly paces before coming to a stop, looking at you.

“I know we haven’t talked in a while, bu-“

“A month. You’ve ignored me for a month,” you cut him off.

“You could’ve reached out too,” he states, the defensiveness returning.

“You wanted me to reach out to you? After how you reacted like that?! I felt like garbage after what you said to me Logan.” You state, the anger coursing through your veins. “You completely invalidated everything I thought we had. You made me feel crazy for even thinking we were even friends,” you finish, feeling the weight lift off your shoulders.

“I don’t know what I was thinking, honestly. I didn’t like being called out and I got defensive. That wasn’t fair to you and I’m sorry,” he says.

“Yeah, well thanks for the apology but I’m done.”

“What?”

“You don’t deserve any ounce of me back after the way you treated me. You’re lucky you’re even getting this conversation,” you sternly say, not breaking eye contact as you continue. “We had a great friendship and great… times together. But I’m not gonna be the girl you get under so you can try to get over another one,” you finish.

“Your karaoke song… that was about me, wasn’t it?” he asks. You didn’t need to say a word for him to know your answer.

"It was about me. For me. I'm saying goodbye, Logan," you state, firm in your decision. Logan can feel his heart breaking, the realization of what he had done settling deep in his chest. The overwhelming feelings of anger and sadness take over as he nods, turning around and heading back inside.

You watch him as he walks away, sad but also relieved that you no longer have to deal with anymore confusion.

✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧

note – why am I lowkey living for sad endings👀 also just a reminder, you are never the bad person for setting boundaries and wanting to provide peace for yourself🩷

Catching up, Jules tells you about the latest and greatest Fifth Line gossip, who’s dating who, new hockey news, all the goods. Jules was one of the only people who knew about you and Logan dating, you both wanting to keep it intimate and to yourselves for the time being. Jules continues to talk about what they want to post next.

“I know I definitely shouldn’t talk about Hannah kissing Logan the other day,” Jules laughs while nudging your shoulder.

“What?” you ask, laughing awkwardly along.

Jules repeats themselves as if it's public knowledge, your heart dropping to your stomach, the color draining from your face, brows furrowed in confusion.

“He never told you?”, the casual way they mentioned this making you feel even more sick. Your silence spoke volumes, an ‘oh fuck’ quietly leaving Jules’ lips.

Ears ringing, body shaking with adrenaline, the bubble of anxiety stirring inside you only seems to grow as a million thoughts race through your head at once. Your eyes find Logan standing in the kitchen, the betrayal evident in your veins as he laughs and smiles with the guys, not a care in the world. Daggers could be shot through him with the way you’re staring at him.

Logan felt eyes on him as he looked around the living room. He looks around until he finds you, still sitting next to Jules on the couch. What he wasn’t expecting was you staring at him with a look he could barely describe. Anger? Hurt? Sadness? Confusion? Basically, all of the above. When you make eye contact, it’s almost as if you snapped out of it, your facial expression becoming more neutral as you quickly stand up and bolt out of the hockey house.

In a sense of urgency, Logan puts his beer down on the counter, scrambling through the crowds of people before eventually getting outside, rushing after you as you storm off, walking at a faster pace than usual. He calls your name multiple times, trying to get you to stop. Unsuccessful, he transitions to a light jog before eventually catching up to you, lightly grabbing your wrist. You yank your wrist away as you turn towards him, frustrated tears brimming in your eyes.

“Baby, what’s wrong?!” Logan asks, looking genuinely concerned.

“Did you kiss Hannah?”

“What?”

“Did I stutter? Did you fucking kiss Hannah?”, venom seeping from your voice as the anger rightfully took over any other emotion you were feeling. Logan’s silence spoke a thousand words, a sad sigh leaving your lips as you glance to the side, tears falling down both your cheeks after you blink.

“Baby, it wasn’t-

“Do not. Call me that,”

He starts his sentence over again, using your name, “Hannah kissed me in the locker room, yes, but it didn’t mean anything. She literally did it to prove some point to Garrett. I didn’t even know she was gonna do it until she walked up to me and just planted one on me,” he explains.

“Yeah, you still didn’t tell me.”

“I didn’t think I needed to, I wanted to avoid all of this,”

“All of what? The truth?”

“Of you getting like this,” his hands motioning up and down your body, the rage fully taking over as your jaw clenches.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” you sarcastically yell, “you're right, let me calm down and not get mad over the fact that my boyfriend didn’t tell me a girl kissed him. Not telling me is hiding it, John!”

Logan was taken aback, not just by how angry you were, but by you calling him by his first name. Something you had never done, not even once, in the time that you’ve known each other.

“I told you, Hannah kissed me, I didn’t initiate anything. It meant nothing, you know I don’t see her that way,” he reexplains, trying to keep some can between you two. Your hands come to the sides of your face, shaking your head in disbelief.

“Oh my god, I even don’t care about the kiss! I care about the fact that you didn’t tell me! I had to find out from Jules, laughing at it like it’s no big deal, joking about posting it on Fifth Line! They know about us, do you know how humiliating that is for me?! I don’t trust you now, John!”

Your words strike and slash at him, the words ‘I don’t trust you now, John’ in particular lingering in his head, this newfound guilt creeping inside of him as he stares at you, your face showing so much hurt and anger. He truly thought nothing of it, it was irrelevant to him. He didn’t like Hannah, he liked you. A lot. He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, Hannah (and Garrett) didn’t even know he was dating someone. The silence between you two lingers before you speak again,

“And for the record, you should know me well enough by now to know that I wouldn’t have overreacted about this. I’m literally only angry because you didn’t tell me,” your voice going softer and sadder, making Logan’s insides twist up with more guilt and sadness.

“I’m sorry. You’re right. I should’ve told you,” he admits. 

“Yeah, you should’ve,” you snap back, crossing your arms.

Arguing wasn’t ideal in the middle of the road, but also in the middle of the night when it was freezing. You rushed out of the house without grabbing your jacket, the cold air making your skin sensitive, trying to stop your teeth from chattering. Logan, as attentive as he was, noticed immediately, taking his jacket off and moving to put it on you. You take a step back, attempting to keep this separation between you both.

“Don’t walk any closer to me.”

“Just let me put the damn jacket on you, you’re freezing.”

You hesitate before obliging with a small nod. He walks up to you, draping his jacket over your shoulders. You take it, mumbling a ‘thanks’ before you push your arms into the sleeves, wrapping yourself in the warmth, the jacket being extra warm from him wearing it. 

“I truly didn’t think anything of it. I literally pulled away as soon as she kissed me. I don’t want you thinking you can’t trust me, I would never, ever dream of doing anything to intentionally hurt you,” he pleads. He takes a small step towards you, trying again to close the gap between you two.

“You’re it for me, baby,” he finishes, reaching for your hands. Still unable to make eye contact with him, you stare at your intertwined fingers, your stomach twisting as you go back and forth in your head, this entire situation overwhelming you. You unlace your fingers, taking a step back and finally meeting Logan’s eyes once again, tears filling your eyes, glazing over your vision.

“I just need some time,” you choke out. He nods.

“At least let me drive you home, you can’t walk alone this late at night.”

“No thanks, you’ve done enough,” you snap before turning around, walking back to your dorm, your figure slowly blurring as tears form in Logan’s eyes. Furiously wiping them, he heads back to the hockey house, not saying a word to anyone as he goes straight to his room, slamming the door and lying down on his bed, frustration and sadness taking over his body, just as it did yours.

✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧

note – uh oh I think I like writing angst🤭

“Hi, baby.”

“Hey, gorgeous, how’s it going?”

“You know, same old same old.”

You had recently picked up some babysitting gigs on the side in between classes and your other job to make some extra cash. College classes weren't going to pay for themselves. Parents were willing to pay you and you were willing to get paid, plus you loved kids, making it a no brainer. 

“Could be worse,” he says, a slight chuckle leaving his lips. Before you can reply, a loud cry is heard through the phone, scaring him as he lightly jerks his phone away from his ear before returning it. Guilt washes over him, feeling like he just jinxed you. Your quiet shushes can be heard from the other end of the call, trying to soothe the baby.

“Wait, are you babysitting a toddler? Alone?” he asks, concerned.

“Yeah, why?” you reply, not thinking anything of it.

“Do you need help? I can come by, at least keep you company,” he offers.

“You don’t have to, I got it.”

“I know, but I want to.”

The offer was incredibly tempting, the (very well off) family was away for the night, and they did tell you that you were more than welcome to have a friend over to do exactly what Logan had said, keep you company. You couldn’t lie, it would be really nice having the extra set of hands and eyes around too.

“Okay, sounds great, I’ll text you the address,” you say, a smile appearing on Logan’s face, the previous exhaustion inside him disappearing as he catches a second wind. You both exchange goodbyes before hanging up.

Logan pulls into the driveway, mumbling a ‘damn’ at the very large house in front of him. He makes his way to the front door, knocks and feels butterflies in his stomach times ten at what he sees when you open the door.

You always were the most gorgeous girl to him, that was never a question in his mind, but something about seeing you with a baby on your hip made him feel things he’s never felt before.

“Can you say hi?” you ask the little baby boy in a high pitch voice, slightly rocking him on you hip as his tiny hand comes up, waving slightly.

“Hey little guy,” he says, waving at him. Logan holds his hand up for a high 5 and the baby giggles, meeting his hand half-way, completing the high 5. “Yeahhh atta boy,” getting another little hiccup laugh from the baby.

Your heart melts seeing how easy Logan was able to bond with this baby, no sign of awkwardness of being around a baby, let alone a baby he didn’t even know.

“Sorry, it’s freezing out here, please come in,” you say, Logan grabbing the door for you, holding it open as you walk in, him following behind. He walks into the very fancy house – incredibly tall ceilings, giant chandelier hanging from said tall ceilings, a massive kitchen and living room, with various kid toys scattered about.

“So, this is John,”

Logan looks at you with shock.

“I know. And he has been such a good boy tonight, hasn’t he?” you say, your face looking down at him. You bring him over to the living room, Logan following behind as you place him down on the floor, the two of you watching as he crawls straight to the little play pad set up for him, playing with some rainbow blocks.

The night felt incredibly domestic between you two, you both working together to make dinner for yourselves and him, changing diapers, keeping him entertained throughout the night. It warmed both your hearts watching the other person be so kid friendly and so open to the idea of taking care of a child.

It was incredibly reassuring seeing how Logan always seemed to step up to the plate, making sure you and baby John were doing well throughout the night. You had a feeling from the moment you met him that he would be an amazing dad, this night just reaffirming those thoughts.

Logan was feeling these feelings much harder, unable to stop or erase the thoughts running through his head of what it would be like if you two had a little mini me running around someday. Taking care of you during your pregnancy, helping in the hospital room while you give birth, raising the child to be strong-willed and confident, just like the two of you – he could see himself doing and enjoying all of that, with you.

“Everything okay?” you ask, noticing how quiet he got. He looks up, seeing baby John crawling into your lap, a smile on your face as he tries to smush his face into yours. Logan chuckles, a soft smile gracing his face.

“Yeah, everything is perfect.”

✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ*✧