[sadly inactive]

Here to say I’m probably not coming back. Life’s gotten busy, I have other projects and whatnot, you know the drill. That being said, if you enjoyed my stuff and are interested in seeing some of the content I’m currently working on, I’ll probably post links here to promote them! (If that’s not your cup of tea then no worries, you can unfollow. i promise I won’t be offended)

ehhhhhhh this is kinda treading on shippy territory but i’ll allow it

Bruh I don’t even know what’s under that monocle; honestly i think it’s just a normal eye?? This motherfucker is so extra that he’d wear a monocle just for the villainous aesthetic it gives him–

Flug probably has theories with documented evidence and no conclusive results, dementia thinks its his “big, beautiful, bishounen eyes” and 5.0.5 assumes it’s the portal to hell.

I honestly can’t picture Flug’s parents?? I can’t even picture what FLUG looks like under the bag ngl

oooh sleep shapeshifting, me likey–

A good dream for an eldritch horror is probably something that would give children lifelong trauma and make adults’ bones melt. So what would a nightmare be like?

Two routes to go down here. First, let’s say its basically a good dream for a human. So flying into a field full of fluffy bunnies and rainbows and candy or whatever other bullshit? Absolutely disgusting for an eldritch being. He lashes out in his sleep and ends up destroying quite a large portion of his room before waking up.

The other route is more interesting. What, exactly, is an eldritch abomination afraid of? (Losing his company, losing to the heroes, losing his employees)

His reactions are a bit different, in this case. more defensive instead of offensive. Half-formed tentacles studded with maws fan out across the floor, a thin coating of skin covering every inch of the room. It will obliterate everything the moment there’s contact; like a venus flytrap with the power of a car compactor.

(Dementia is the one who informs the rest of the group; it’s only thanks to her quick reflexes that she escapes the trap intact. Since then, no one disturbs BH while he sleeps. Not worth the risk)

There’s been a few instances where he even sleep-teleports, trying to escape some imaginary foe or rival villain/eldritch being. In these cases he tears the fabric of reality without any caution, grabs the nearest employee-shaped objects (Flug has lost SO many experiments by being nabbed in the middle of a project) and sends them all a couple miles away.

//side eyes i see what you’re doing there

((New icon, theme, and title but it’s still me! To celebrate the new year (which I am spending on a plane) let’s take a look at an idea I had at 2am last night!!))

Despite numerous “employee memos” (read: angry notes from BH) advising against holiday celebration, the gang ™ all decide to have a mini-party

Dementia gets absolutely shitfaced, which in human terms means alcohol-poisoning levels and in lizard-experiment terms means the equivalent of a 5-year old on a sugar rush

Flug likes to watch the ball drop tbh, it’s one of life’s simple pleasures and it signifies that he’s survived another year //sobs

BH pokes his head in at one point and is like “….you idiots realize that this isn’t actually the New Year, right.” To which he receives a bunch of confused looks, and gives an ever-suffering sigh in return. “Just. Go to the third garage.”

They all follow him down to the third garage (the first one is for the manor’s own vehicles, the second is for showcasing products for villainy, the third is just filled with crap)

Inside it, Black Hat just points at the fucking giant Mayan mural on the wall, behind the lawnmower and the spare piranha tank

”you see?” he says like it should be obvious how to read ancient Mayan stone carvings, “the correct date is right there! None of this ‘December Thirty-Whatever’ bullshit.”

Flug tries to salvage the night by saying something about how it’s nice to celebrate the start of a new year with resolutions and stuff and BH just. Absolutely kills it by saying his New Years resolution is to be even more villainous. Starting with lowering Flug’s paycheck. Rip Flug.

((Also, a bonus fun fact: our current follower amount, 1,280, is an anagram for 2018. Is that awesome or what!!!

That would actually make sense as to why he hates Dementia?? His extreme Eldritch OCD would get triggered by her mismatched hair, outfit, everything.

 ((Just one mod here anon <3))

Ngl cambot doesn’t have that much in terms of blackmail material. Honestly he could make more money off of a channel solely devoted to footage of 5.0.5 being cute

He’s also seen flug’s airplane-patterned pajamas and dementia’s hentai collection, one of which was significantly more terrifying than the other. flug’s dead inside and dementia’s not ashamed, so no profits to be made there

He forges a teacher’s certificate just so that he can start exerting his influence over “the degenerate, teenage scum of this wretched planet—“

Everyone who has his classes spreads tales of their misery: impossibly hard tests and malicious pop quizzes, on top of hours of homework. He’s a world history expert, with an in depth knowledge of global affairs never even mentioned in their textbooks. From the moment you walk in, you’re doomed to fail.