Black & White Thought Process

they are not. suicidal thoughts arent normal. violent impulses arent normal. delusions and hallucinations arent normal.

the ones that constantly question the validity of their illness(es) because they managed to get out of bed this morning/are keeping up with their classes/can still socially interact? because they can do the things that most neurotypicals can do, even if they find it very difficult?

the ones that are questioned by their loved ones on the existence of their disorders? that face constant ableist remarks of “but you can’t be depressed/ill/manic/psychotic/etc!” “you don’t look mentally ill!” “it’s just hormones!” “oh, have you tried yoga?” “you’re just on a journey of finding yourself.” “you’re too happy/too smart to be mentally ill!”

the ones who aren’t taken seriously by their therapists/doctors/psychiatrists because of how self aware they are and how well they can articulate their feelings and thoughts?

the ones that, on their bad days, are told that “others have it worse” just because they don’t outwardly show their symptoms all of the time? the ones that have their pain and their struggles constantly diminished until they don’t know what is real and what isn’t because of this?

the ones that don’t receive the treatments or correct diagnosis in a short matter of time (or at all) because “they’re not bad enough?”

the ones that end up suicidal or manic or psychotic in hospital with no warning because their illnesses aren’t taken seriously until its too late?

my hellbrain’s instincts: wow you love them more tha- 

Alienation - The act of cutting off or interfering with an individual’s relationships with others.

“Always” and “Never” Statements - “Always” and “Never” Statements are declarations containing the words “always” or “never”. They are commonly used but rarely true.

Anger - People who suffer from personality disorders often feel a sense of unresolved anger and a heightened or exaggerated perception that they have been wronged, invalidated, neglected or abused.

Baiting - A provocative act used to solicit an angry, aggressive or emotional response from another individual.

Blaming - The practice of identifying a person or people responsible for creating a problem, rather than identifying ways of dealing with the problem.

Bullying - Any systematic action of hurting a person from a position of relative physical, social, economic or emotional strength.

Catastrophizing - The habit of automatically assuming a “worst case scenario” and inappropriately characterizing minor or moderate problems or issues as catastrophic events.

Chaos Manufacture - Unnecessarily creating or maintaining an environment of risk, destruction, confusion or mess.

Cheating - Sharing a romantic or intimate relationship with somebody when you are already committed to a monogamous relationship with someone else.

Circular Conversations - Arguments which go on almost endlessly, repeating the same patterns with no resolution.

Cognitive Dissonance - A psychological term for the discomfort that most people feel when they encounter information which contradicts their existing set of beliefs or values. People who suffer from personality disorders often experience cognitive dissonance when they are confronted with evidence that their actions have hurt others or have contradicted their stated morals.

“Control-Me” Syndrome - This describes a tendency which some people have to foster relationships with people who have a controlling narcissistic, antisocial or “acting-out” nature.

Denial - Believing or imagining that some painful or traumatic circumstance, event or memory does not exist or did not happen.

Dependency - An inappropriate and chronic reliance by an adult individual on another individual for their health, subsistence, decision making or personal and emotional well-being.

Depression - When you feel sadder than you think you should, for longer than you think you should - but still can’t seem to break out of it - that’s depression. People who suffer from personality disorders are often also diagnosed with depression resulting from mistreatment at the hands of others, low self-worth and the results of their own poor choices.

Dissociation - Dissociation is a psychological term used to describe a mental departure from reality.

Domestic Theft - Consuming or taking control of a resource or asset belonging to (or shared with) a family member, partner or spouse without first obtaining their approval.

Emotional Blackmail - A system of threats and punishments used in an attempt to control someone’s behaviors.

Engulfment - An unhealthy and overwhelming level of attention and dependency on another person, which comes from imagining or believing one exists only within the context of that relationship.

Sense of Entitlement - An unrealistic, unmerited or inappropriate expectation of favorable living conditions and favorable treatment at the hands of others.

False Accusations - Patterns of unwarranted or exaggerated criticism directed towards someone else.

Favoritism - Favoritism is the practice of systematically giving positive, preferential treatment to one child, subordinate or associate among a family or group of peers.

Fear of Abandonment - An irrational belief that one is imminent danger of being personally rejected, discarded or replaced.

Harassment - Any sustained or chronic pattern of unwelcome behavior by one individual towards another.

High and Low-Functioning - A High-Functioning Personality-Disordered Individual is one who is able to conceal their dysfunctional behavior in certain public settings and maintain a positive public or professional profile while exposing their negative traits to family members behind closed doors. A Low-Functioning Personality-Disordered Individual is one who is unable to conceal their dysfunctional behavior from public view or maintain a positive public or professional profile.

Hoovers & Hoovering - A Hoover is a metaphor taken from the popular brand of vacuum cleaners, to describe how an abuse victim trying to assert their own rights by leaving or limiting contact in a dysfunctional relationship, gets “sucked back in” when the perpetrator temporarily exhibits improved or desirable behavior.

Hysteria - An inappropriate over-reaction to bad news or disappointments, which diverts attention away from the real problem and towards the person who is having the reaction.

Identity Disturbance - A psychological term used to describe a distorted or inconsistent self-view

Impulsiveness - The tendency to act or speak based on current feelings rather than logical reasoning.

Infantilization - Treating a child as if they are much younger than their actual age.

Invalidation - The creation or promotion of an environment which encourages an individual to believe that their thoughts, beliefs, values or physical presence are inferior, flawed, problematic or worthless.

Lack of Object Constancy - An inability to remember that people or objects are consistent, trustworthy and reliable, especially when they are out of your immediate field of vision.

Learned Helplessness - Learned helplessness is when a person begins to believe that they have no control over a situation, even when they do.

Magical Thinking - Looking for supernatural connections between external events and one’s own thoughts, words and actions.

Moments of Clarity - Spontaneous periods when a person with a Personality Disorder becomes more objective and tries to make amends.

Mood Swings - Unpredictable, rapid, dramatic emotional cycles which cannot be readily explained by changes in external circumstances.

Neglect - A passive form of abuse in which the physical or emotional needs of a dependent are disregarded or ignored by the person responsible for them.

Normalizing - Normalizing is a tactic used to desensitize an individual to abusive, coercive or inappropriate behaviors. In essence, normalizing is the manipulation of another human being to get them to agree to, or accept something that is in conflict with the law, social norms or their own basic code of behavior.

No-Win Scenarios - When you are manipulated into choosing between two bad options

Panic Attacks - Short intense episodes of fear or anxiety, often accompanied by physical symptoms, such as hyperventilating, shaking, sweating and chills.

Parentification - A form of role reversal, in which a child is inappropriately given the role of meeting the emotional or physical needs of the parent or of the family’s other children.

Passive-Aggressive Behavior - Expressing negative feelings in an unassertive, passive way.

Pathological Lying - Persistent deception by an individual to serve their own interests and needs with little or no regard to the needs and concerns of others. A pathological liar is a person who habitually lies to serve their own needs.

Projection - The act of attributing one’s own feelings or traits to another person and imagining or believing that the other person has those same feelings or traits.

Push-Pull - A chronic pattern of sabotaging and re-establishing closeness in a relationship without appropriate cause or reason.

Raging, Violence and Impulsive Aggression - Explosive verbal, physical or emotional elevations of a dispute. Rages threaten the security or safety of another individual and violate their personal boundaries.

Sabotage - The spontaneous disruption of calm or status quo in order to serve a personal interest, provoke a conflict or draw attention.

Scapegoating - Singling out an individual or group for unmerited negative treatment or blame.

Selective Competence - The practice of demonstrating different levels of intelligence or ability depending on the situation or environment.

Selective Memory and Selective Amnesia - The use of memory, or a lack of memory, which is selective to the point of reinforcing a bias, belief or desired outcome.

Self-Harm - Self Harm, also known as self-mutilation, self-injury or self-abuse is any form of deliberate, premeditated injury inflicted on oneself, common among adolescents and among people who suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder. The most common forms are cutting and poisoning/overdosing.

Self-Loathing - An extreme hatred of one’s own self, actions or one’s ethnic or demographic background.

Self-Victimization - Self-Victimization or “playing the victim” is the act of casting oneself as a victim in order to control others by soliciting a sympathetic response from them or diverting their attention away from abusive behavior.

Shaming - The difference between blaming and shaming is that in blaming someone tells you that you did something bad, in shaming someone tells you that you are something bad.

Situational Ethics - A philosophy which promotes the idea that, when dealing with a crisis, the end justifies the means and that a rigid interpretation of rules and laws can be set aside if a greater good or lesser evil is served by doing so.

Splitting - The practice of regarding people and situations as either completely “good” or completely “bad”.

Thought Policing - A process of interrogation or attempt to control another individual’s thoughts or feelings.

Threats - Inappropriate, intentional warnings of destructive actions or consequences.

Triangulation - Gaining an advantage over perceived rivals by manipulating them into conflicts with each other.

Triggering - Small, insignificant or minor actions, statements or events that produce a dramatic or inappropriate response.

You know there are so many different cases of BPD. There are so many different degrees or BPD because of the DSM-V, you need at least 3 of the 7 traits and each trait can be very noticeable and strong or there but controllable. You can have the ability to cope with the trait but it's not a cure.

We need to realize that for some people with BPD they may have some of the characteristics and traits listed.

Hello anon! I’m going to break these down the best I can. 

Panic Attacks

First up is panic attacks. The following information is taken from the Anxiety and Depression Association of America:

“A panic attack is the abrupt onset of intense fear or discomfort that reaches a peak within minutes and includes at least four of the following symptoms:

Palpitations, pounding heart, or accelerated heart rate

Sweating

Trembling or shaking

Sensations of shortness of breath or smothering

Feelings of choking

Chest pain or discomfort

Nausea or abdominal distress

Feeling dizzy, unsteady, light-headed, or faint

Chills or heat sensations

Paresthesia (numbness or tingling sensations)

Derealization (feelings of unreality) or depersonalization (being detached from oneself) Listen to this podcast.

Fear of losing control or “going crazy”

Fear of dying”

Sensory Overload

A sensory overload is the result of too much sensory input. A person’s threshold for sensory stimuli can vary from day to day so what’s too much one day might not affect the person another day. The following are some common traits of sensory overload, though there will be variance in experience:

Irritability

Touch aversion

Lights seem brighter

Sounds seem louder

Increased stimming

Reslessness

Difficulty concentrating

Unexplained anger

Getting annoyed by every little thing

Nausea

Headache

Meltdown/Shutdown

A meltdown or shutdown is often what comes of sensory overload if the overloading stimuli is not able to be avoided. The following is taken from our FAQ:

“Shutdowns and meltdowns are what happens when your system becomes too overloaded, whether due to sensory overload, too strong emotions, or too much stress. It is a “fight or flight” type response that is activated by our systems becoming overloaded.

A shutdown is an internalized reaction to the overwhelm. A person may lose the ability to talk if they are normally verbal, may be unable to move or have great difficulty moving, and retreat inwards. A shutdown typically lasts until the cause of the meltdown has been removed or resolved and enough time has passed for the system to recover. 

A meltdown is the externalized reaction to overwhelm. A person may yell, shout, hit or kick, throw things, cry, or other outward signs of aggression and distress. However, while a person may seem aggressive during a meltdown, typically they are just trying to get away from whatever is causing distress. Once a stressor is gone, a meltdown will typically begin to alleviate. However, for both meltdowns and shutdowns, a person may need several hours or several days to recover from the experience.” 

I hope this helps you figure things out!