IT'S KIND OF A TWISTED STORY

Y'all can keep at it with that “Romeo and Juliet fell in love in five days how immature” shiz but Macbeth went from no murder to yes murder in like one afternoon and I feel like one of those is a significantly bigger problem than the other

In his defense his wife triple dog dared him and called him a pussy

what the actual fuck

Men don’t know women can pee

ive been sitting on the toilet for 20 minutes trying to piss but the pee keeps getting lost in my confusing Woman Body

i haven’t peed in 16 days… my pee keeps running into the minotaur in the labyrinth that is my Womanly Excretory System

lasanyer

People need to realize that there’s a difference between straight people and Straight People™

Just like how there are white people who are gay and then there are the White Gays

Lmao all the angry White and Straight people in the comments, keep reblogging

neurotypical: i don’t have any mental illnesses or disorders Neurotypical™: Happiness is a choice!! ✨✨Have you tried yoga? Drink more water and eat kale ✨✨

cis person: i identify completely as my assigned gender Cis Person™: It doesn’t matter what you identify as, cause you still have Female Genitals! I’m not being offensive!! Read a book on Human Biology! 🚹🚺

this post got all kinds of better since I last saw it

This post is perfection across the board.

Who names their character Susan

I’m poisoning an enchanted crossbow, which I gave a nickname to so I wouldn’t accidentally sell it. The name of the weapon is “delicious quinoa, Susan”.

As you do

*crying* it’s okay cecil

I GOT THIS AND IT IS SO FUCKING COOL

@ebristol88 WE NEED ONE OR TWO.

HEY NOW, YOU’RE AN ALL STAR, GET YOUR GAME ON, GO PLAY!

when i was a kid rummaging thru my mums cd collection to steal Good Stuff i accidentally stumbled across one called ‘songs for bonking’ which was coloured awful negative neon picture of ppls feet on top of each other in a bed and ALL the songs were like fucking ska punk