Stop looking

do you hear?” “what?” “didn’t you hear?” “what?” “the world changes . It makes noise .” “I don’t hear…” “you are not attentively” “no. I don’t hear” “take a picture of me, please” “why?” “I miss myself” “so? Look in the mirror” “the present is in the mirror. I miss the person I was” “do you miss the past?” “yes” “why” “the past is certain. There can happen to me nothing” “I love the present” “why?” “it’s unpredictable” “see? we are different… what do you love about me?” “everything I can’t be” “it snows” “yes” “are we going to buy Christmas gifts?” “yes” “will it be nice?” “yes” “like in the childhood?” “no” “why?” “don’t you want to take that picture?

You were so good to me, and you know sometimes I wish you weren’t. Sometimes I wish that you treated me horribly and never gave me your time, so then maybe I could feel a little bit of hatred. But instead, I’m left, 6 months later, still missing you.

Remember the first time I told you I love you? And you asked me why Like you couldn’t comprehend why or how someone could love you At the time I couldn’t understand why myself But now I think I know why You made me feel alive when I felt like dying You made me feel safe when I was surrounded by evil You’re arms were a home that I never wanted to leave And your lips were like liqueur and now I’m an alcoholic You made me feel wanted and cared for You gave my butterflies and made my pulse go insane even when I was numb You made me laugh like no other And made me smile like a kid on Christmas You made me feel invincible You made me feel like I was high off my ass while sober I fell in love with the way you looked at me Because baby those eyes are my world I love you because we never had awkward silences We had the type of connection where you could just look at the other person and understand all of their hurt and reasoning I love you because we were comfortable around each other We’re both a little kinking and a little different And we both have these demons in our heads that no one else can comprehend And even though I know you don’t love me Even though I know we missed our chance Even though you fucked me over I still love you God fucking damnit I love you How could you be so fucking blind to that I gave you my all Because I fell in love with your soul And I’m still in love with the monster you’ve become.

Hello Darkness my old friend, I’ve come to talk with you again

I just can’t believe that he is gone.