Was Pastaclifford

hades modern au is just zagreus trying to sneak out of his upstairs bedroom window and getting into a very loud fight with his dad on the lawn at 2am every night

never be afraid to put your man in his place by spitting cum back at him like a disrespectful camel. learned that one at a catholic prep school for mentally disturbed yet beautiful brunette empaths.

Monster fucker this, monster fucker that. What if I want a monster RELATIONSHIP huh?! Monster HAND HOLDING, monster INTIMATE CONVERSATIONS, monster COMFORTABLE SILENCE??

if you think about it there's no real reason for smith to be a more common surname than another standard job like cook. except that smiths fucked more. all those smiths in their forges with their big muscular arms all covered in sweat. i bet the medieval women were gagging for it.

can u imagine venting to a mf on tumblr and halfway in they go “sorry im low empathy can you stop talking <3″