artistic rendition of how my cat fell asleep this morning

oozey mess
KIROKAZE
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we're not kids anymore.

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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

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YOU ARE THE REASON
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@bitchmakenzi
artistic rendition of how my cat fell asleep this morning

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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sight I saw in san francisco, twice: gaggle of tiny children leashed together being herded along, everyone in hi-vis
You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.
Reblog to materialize $250,000 in prev's bank account
Sam Claflin as Finnick Odair
The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (dir. Francis Lawrence)
requested by anonymous
Polish folks LARPing as Americans, some photographs of (by Maciej Margielski)
More phots here.
More info on the LARP (4th of July) here. (You can join this year's, there are still spots left.)

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Hey when you're writing up your NDAs, could you include a clause that lets everyone still talk to me? Yeah, whatever, I won't tell anyone, I just wanna know. Thanks.
The real thing with ADHD is not "I forgot", but that forgetting is this ongoing process. I remembered! And then I forgot.
At ten this (hypothetical) morning I remembered that I have a meeting at six. And then from 11 through 3 I worked on other stuff and had zero thoughts about that meeting. Maybe even thought about what I was gonna do with my evening at home. Got attached to the idea of taking the time to make a good dinner, maybe play some video games.
And then at three I said, "Oh! Fuck!" and remembered again, hopefully long enough to set an alarm. And then I went to the bathroom and remembered that I need to clean the counter and spent twenty minutes cleaning the bathroom and went to get a snack and then at five I said, "OH! FUCK!" and had to scramble to dress like a real adult and get out the door.
It isn't one clean forgetting. It's a constant process of forgetting and then, with an exhausting adrenaline spike, remembering. And then forgetting. Baby, I can forget the same thing more times in a day than you ever forgot your parents' anniversary.
i just don’t get it. where are all the women. where are all the women in your fanfictions. are they all out of town? did they all go on vacation together? do they all have a dentist appointment at the same time?
Whatttt is with the tendency of Tumblr users to seek absolution from every single person who offhandedly posts about disagreeing with something they do
I say this not unkindly, but firmly: to function as a member of a social species, you have to get comfortable with the idea that not everyone will like you

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You omit the Oxford comma and those last two items in the list start lookin kinda gay. Like why are you two standing so close together
Every day I handle more money than I will ever make. Every day.
At the start of my employment, my boss showed me videos of people stealing, and we both had a chuckle about it. How silly they were! There was a camera overhead, and it’s not to watch the shoppers. See, we can’t actually stop shoplifters. They get away with it maybe nine out of ten times. But we, who are watched and tallied and witnessed? We are always caught.
At first it was hard to hold one hundred dollars bills. An amount I had never seen before. An amount that didn’t exist in my household. It’s normal now. Here is something that is not for me.
“What the hell, I’ll take another,” says the man, pondering our 200 dollar watches. What the hell. Total comes to 580 and not even a flinch in his face. I have been working for 11 hours today and made only 110 dollars. It will go to my rent. Today I work for free, it feels. When I get my check, I will have 35 dollars left for food and saving.
The six hundreds he hands me go into the cash register. For a moment, I imagine having money. Then I put it away, counting out his change.
I know for a fact we sell our products for double what they are worth. That I could be making commission. That they could hand me those 580 dollars and change my life and not even mark the difference in their checkbooks. He’s not the only sale they make today, but I am the reason they made it. He’s not the only one spending 600 dollars, but if I hadn’t spent two hours with him telling me about his life, he wouldn’t have spent any. I go home. I don’t own a watch.
I have watched and rewatched a video on how to make salmon four ways. My shopping list is always the same. Pasta. Rice. Tuna. If I can afford butter it was a good week. I dream of the world I will never walk in, where I can throw the best fish fillet in the cart with a shrug. I hold hundreds in my hand and look up at the camera. I put them under the cash drawer.
I go to work. I scrap together my savings. I eat my bowl of rice slowly. My manager takes a paid week off from work just for his birthday. He owns a yacht.
I’m not worth the cost of a watch.
i wrote this while i was working at orlando’s walt disney world parks.
i was part of their college program. i moved to the state for it. they legally owned the building i was living in and still charged me rent. i ostensibly was being charged to work for them. it was a 2 bedroom apartment and they placed 6 adult women in it in forced triples.
as many as one in ten disney employees have experienced homelessness while working for the company. despite huge efforts to unionize, strike, or otherwise demand fair treatment; disney has refused to increase employee quality of life.
disney admits publicly that a good portion of their success is because the employees (“cast members”) are dedicated, passionate, and selfless. this is never reflected in pay. even “face” characters (ie those that are princesses etc) make barely above a minimum wage.
at the time that i worked there, i made $8.50 an hour. at one point i was asked to create a human shield around a bag because a bomb dog had alerted to it. for eight fucking dollars an hour.
i now work a very cushy office job. i have bought the salmon and cooked it all four ways.
i go to the store. i am nice to the person behind the counter. she looks up at the camera while she counts out my change. there is nothing fundamentally different about her and i.
we are both worth more than the watch, anyway.
"I never thought eva stratt would kidnap me AGAIN," sobs ryland grace, employee of the month at the "eva stratt kidnapping ryland grace" factory (this has already happened twice before) (he actively persuaded her to hire him) (after she had already kidnapped him once)
#please remember to praise your little science lapdog
I always wanted to be the guard that tells only lies
I mean I've actually never wanted to be that.
Stupid stupid stupid. C'mon. At this rate I'll never be a lie guard.

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who's with me
i am some sort of fey creature and my cat is the human who i have arbitrarily decided is my favorite human.
i live, to him, an unfathomably long life
i have access to powers and locations that he cannot access independently; he needs my help to navigate the world i've brought him to
i simply found him outside and abducted him one day
there are many cats in the world, but this one is the best and my most favorite. why? because he was available to abduct that morning and for very little other reason.
i have a much greater understanding of this world than him, but he has unshakable confidence in his ability to figure it out and i find that really cute
the power dynamic is fundamentally unbalanced, but i let him have a little audacity. a little combativeness and sass. as a treat.
some humans are needlessly cruel to cats or take them in for a short time before neglecting or abandoning them. but i have chosen to love and guard this one with my life. because i think he's neat.
he is very well-treated and has pretty much everything he could possibly want or need, but he is my prisoner.