Hi @tianpossum - Tumblr Blog

time to make a post on tumblr. surely no one will interpret it to be as offensive and bad intentioned as possible.

by talos this cant be happening

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angelicguy

It's extremely rare for me to not post something because it's too bad. But this was a 4 edible situation

ryebreadgf

once I snorted a fat line of nuance and everything started depending. watch out

captain-price-returns

oh no they’re going to start calling democrats the same thing they’ve been calling democrats for 20 years now

hotvampireadjacent

red-garden

MAGA boomers SHOCKED by 20y/o commie speaking fluent hog

red-garden

Hog 201 for anyone interested in trying this:

Bodily autonomy (like abortion, anti draft, etc) -> “The government shouldn’t be able to force anything on my body I don’t want.”

Anti surveillance -> “I don’t trust big government/big tech (big brother if you’re feeling frisky) with the ability to spy on me and my family.”

Immigration -> “Next to all of us immigrated at some point, I don’t see why the elites get to decide who’s allowed to be where. What’s to stop them coming for me?”

Climate Change -> “Big oil shouldn’t get to determine whether or not I get to go places. I don’t want to be dependent on some big business to survive.”

State Violence -> “I don’t want the goddamn secret police breathing down my neck! I trust my community a whole hell of a lot more to help me than I do the state!”

The vast majority of conservatives think of themselves as underdogs being repressed by the government/the elite, and they value personal freedom (specifically their personal freedom, they don’t care about other people). The will almost always agree with leftist points if you can find a way to blame the problem on their vague enemies (useful, since rich people are the root of most problems), and tie it back to their ability to say fuck everyone else. NEVER appeal to science, theory, logic, or human goodness. Make it seem as if you are a paranoid lunatic who trusts no one. They love it.

dinosaurjam

#you need to tailor your arguments to people's existing values and priorities if you want to convince them #the flip side is that it's every bit as easy to tailor conservative arguments to convince a leftist audience #so don't get smug #you're not immune to this either <- prev extremely true

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insomniac-arrest

I think we should figure out what age we’re living in now so we can say how it’s collapsing to each other

insomniac-arrest

Our age of plastics is collapsing

insomniac-arrest

Our age of information is collapsing! *remembers generative AI, nods to self* our age of information is collapsing.

important-cat-pics

villapaitalepakko

ohhhhj the mischevious smiler....

important-cat-pics

villapaitalepakko

ohhhhj the mischevious smiler....

mothcub

What’s popping, you ask? Why, it’s my joints.

unclefather

you’re too sexy to be poor this isn’t right

I’m always saying this

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shitboy96

The joker sees this and thinks “oh this is just normal paving”

sedoretu

ohhhh so THIS is the twisted fucking cycle path

pingo1387

having a headache while hydrated is so unfair. you were supposed to protect me.

shower-thoughts-last-responder

Waking up from a nap and still having a headache is so unfair. You were supposed to save me.

evilscientist3

i swear if the wizard doesnt let me out of his abandoned salt mine soon im gonna fucking LOSE IT

ttechniic

what did you do to be put into the salt mine

evilscientist3

i MAY have eaten his special wizard meal. but i think he should let me out tbh

ttechniic

was it good? was it worth it? are you able to bear the weight of your sin?

evilscientist3

im not gonna lie it was fucking delicious i would fucking do it again. wait shit youre the fucking wizard in disguise seeing if ive learned my lesson arent you. fuck.

ttechniic

10 YEARS IN THE ABANDONED SALT MINE.

siderealglimmer

currentlycryingaboutlancelot

today I learned that in 2008, the city council of florence overturned dante’s sentence of execution if he returned from exile. yes, dante’s inferno dante, who died in 1321.

but the funniest part of this is not that they were debating the exile of a man who has been dead for over 500 years.

the funniest part is that the vote was 19-5. five people voted to uphold dante’s exile.

stabethadeathwhisper

The objectively funniest part of this is actually that the city that holds his remains, Ravenna, refused to give his remains back. This was a ploy from florence to have his remains moved back for the tourist money and its been ongoing for a long time. Florence had a fake tomb built in the city to trick people into visiting, and have tried to force the return of the remains.

His actual caretakers have been very steadfast in keeping them hidden, moved, or generally out of reach to respect his choice in life to never, ever, ever return to florence, even when he was first offered the chance to return. This is at this point an almost millenium long feud that florence is really, really mad about losing

mysteryteacup

so basically the five people who wanted to uphold his exile were in the right

toskarin

I mean you've threatened to kill me a bunch of times. You once told me you were gonna drown me in a river like a kangaroo.

[warm laugh of fond reminiscence] I did do that

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charredasperity

In memes where text or panels are edited the originals are always the funniest, case in point:

vedajuno

chiosavinces-deactivated2026032

bleedingheartsandscreamingminds

lifeiscruelwithoutsound

thefirstpaleontologist

littleplasticspaceship

context ™

finaly on tumblr

dogpuppy

mandywondering

I mean, in some very interesting Technically Correct ways, they didn't actually die? Now, they're very much no longer alive. But the forces involved are such that they didn't get any of the usual cellular processes of death, they simply went from biology to physics in less time than it takes a signal to travel down your optic nerve.

dietspam16

if you go from biology to physics without dying first you don’t go to heaven the uber driver went over this

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