her head falls forward , eyes cast downwards at the green grass below her , a gentle sigh slips by her lips. this was not what she wanted , she was meant to be enjoying herself and having a few drinks. instead , manola wore a cocky grin as she asked who was in her past … if there was anyone important. and he was important to her , richard gecko. at first she thought saying his name would be enough , manola hadn’t pushed her to go into details yet the alcohol swirling inside of her did.     ‘   richie … he’s different.   ’      she smiles , more to herself.    ‘  he really likes his films , not the more recent kind like the old ones and we watched some together , i swear he could probably say every line from a film.   ’    a gentle chuckle , she tips her head back eyes focused upon the stars.   ‘   his eyes , god. i swear sometimes it was like he could see into me , he picked up on things that i … i didn’t tell him a lot of what i was dealing with , i bottled it up inside of me and he knew i was hurting. when i first saw him , his eyes were like a light coming to save me from the darkness and i wanted to give him everything he needed.  ’  her throat moves as she swallows , this was not normal for kisa , it was hard to open up yet she made that mistake with richard and she wouldn’t do it with manola.    ‘   i couldn’t give him what he needed , it hurt because i wanted to but i was fucked up after … everything , i ran because i put my own needs above his.   ’   it was the truth , she had once told him that she could give what he wants but not what he needs , she could have gave him what he needed if she wasn’t selfish.   ‘  honestly , i … i think he’ll always be in my heart and i don’t mind. it might not have looked like love to some people , in my own way i love him and i hurt him   ’